Bound Together (36 page)
Authors: Marie Coulson
Chapter
28
Lean On Me
was pretty standard. The work I’d had to do for Dr. Harman kept me
busy most of the time and to be honest I was glad for the
distraction. Although his letters and calls were wonderfully
intimate, I still couldn’t stop moping over Jared. Wednesday’s
letter had been short and sweet and was mostly to encourage me to
go out with my friends and have fun. So that night Ollie took me
and Amy bowling at the local alley which was only a few blocks away
from campus. Sitting next to me as Amy took her turn, Ollie had
draped his arm around me and given me a reassuring smile followed
by a wink. I had felt the tension in my body lift almost
immediately just from the very small but significant gesture. I’d
really missed him, missed us and the connection we shared. Maybe
things would be alright and that the kiss had finally put to bed
all that chemistry and strange magnetism between us. It was finally
comfortable to be around him once more and during our evening we
had all laughed so much my ribs ached when we finally made it home.
We ordered pizza and spent the rest of the night talking about
everything from school to fashion. When the conversation turned to
our sex lives, Ollie made his excuses and left us to our “seedy and
sinful girl talk” as he called it.
Thursday’s letter took me
completely by surprise and brought a lump to my throat. It was
deeply emotional and I could feel the passion in his words as I
read them.
My Princess
Layla
I cannot express how much
I am looking forward to returning to you tomorrow. My heart feels
heavy even as I write this letter and I haven’t even departed as
yet. You left my company only moments ago and yet my body, heart
and soul is yearning for you to return.
I’m afraid you have to
work today but at least it will distract you from counting the
hours, minutes and seconds as
I
will be doing until I am reunited with
you.
I’m not sure how you will
feel about what I say next but I hope that by the time you get this
letter our relationship will have moved forward as I so desperately
want it to.
Layla Jennings I’m in
love with you. Deeply, truly, madly and endlessly I love you. I
want to devote my every breath to making you happy and give you
everything your heart desires.
You’re my sunshine, my
rain and my evening stars. I feel as though I was living in the
shadows and you have entered my life in a blaze of color and light
which has illuminated my very existence.
As for me, to love you
alone, to make you happy, to do nothing which would contradict your
wishes, this is my destiny and the meaning of my life -
Napoléon Bonaparte
Until
tomorrow….
Jared xxxx
A deep pang of sadness
jolted like electricity through my heart. He’d written these words
only moments after I had been with him and yet felt he couldn’t
tell me in person how he felt about me. It had only been after I
had argued with him and stormed out on Amy that he had finally
revealed he was in love with me. I had acted like a child and
though I felt exactly the same about him, I found it painfully
difficult to discover the right words to express how profoundly,
intensely and genuinely I loved him also. I made a conscious
decision to tell him precisely how I felt about him when he
returned. I needed him to know that I was in this relationship just
as much as he was and that my feelings ran equally as deep. I lay
there for a while and read the letter over and over, reveling in
the sweet sentiment.
A loud crashing pulled me
from my hazy daydream. Leaping to my feet, I ran out the door and
over to Ollie’s room. It was unlocked and I let myself in
cautiously. I stood there in total shock as I saw the remains of
his precious white electric guitar scattered across the floor.
Ollie was rock and roll but he’d never have smashed his baby in the
name of art. Something was seriously wrong. The bathroom door swung
open and he froze when his eyes met mine. His hand was wrapped in a
scrap of material and I could see the blood stains seeping through.
“Oh my god Oliver. What the hell did you do to yourself?” Hurrying
to his aid, I took his hand and led him to the bed. Pulling him
down beside me I unraveled the cloth from his palm. He hissed and
winced as I removed the make-do bandage. There was a long shallow
cut across his palm and it was bleeding slowly. Leaving him for a
moment I ran to my room to fetch a first aid kit my mother had
insisted I carry at all times.
Taking out an antiseptic
wipe, I went to work on his wound. He watched me in silence as I
cleaned and dressed his hand. Packing up the first aid kit I
glanced at him. “So, want to talk about it?”
His eyebrows pinched
together and he let out an exasperated sigh. “It’s a family
thing.”
Ollie had never talked
about his home or family before and I’d always assumed it was
because he found it painful. Looking at the expression on his face
I felt I was probably right. Taking his hand, I held it
reassuringly. He raised his head and stared into my
eyes.
“
I didn’t have a great
childhood Layla. My mom took off when I was a kid to live with her
junkie boyfriend. The state handed me and my older brother over to
my deadbeat father and I spent the next ten years of my life
cleaning up empty bourbon bottles. My brother left the moment he
turned eighteen, leaving me alone with a man who was more than
happy to dish out his frustration on me with his fists. When I was
sixteen I ran away when he was passed out on the couch. I went to
find my mom but she’d moved leaving no address. I wasn’t going back
home so I hitchhiked my way to California where my brother was.
Anyway, he didn’t want me either but he did find me a place to stay
and I ended up crashing with a friend of his for two years before I
got into this place. I never heard from my mom or my dad and
honestly I really didn’t care. Until this morning.”
Leaning across me, he
grabbed a letter from his bedside table and handed it to me. I
gasped and pressed my hand to my mouth as I read it. “Ollie, I, I
don’t know what to say.”
“
What’s to say? My waste
of fucking oxygen father decided to write to me and let me know
he’s in prison and that my mother is looking for me. What else is
there?”
He got to his feet
abruptly and snatched the piece of paper from my hand. I sat there
and watched him as he paced up and down frantically, growing
angrier by the minute. “I mean why the fuck would he think I care?
I haven’t seen that abandoning bitch since I was six years old and
she didn’t exactly qualify for mother of the fucking year! And now
that asshole is in prison for armed robbery. Big fucking surprise
there. He was always going to end up banged up for something. He’s
asking me to go see him and he actually expects me to go. Is he
serious?” I walked over and gently wrapped my arms around
him.
My friend was in pain and
it pained
me
to
see it. He stood ridged in my arms and made no attempt to hug me
back. Releasing him, I placed my hand on his shoulder and shook my
head. “I don’t know Ollie. Do you want to see him?”
Pulling away from me he
snapped. “Fuck no! I don’t care what he wants! There is no way on
earth I will ever be in the same room as that man ever again in my
life.” Tossing the letter on the floor he rolled up the sleeve on
his sweater, revealing his snake tattoo. “You see this ink here? I
got that to cover up the scar he gave me with a broken bottle.
Yeah. I’d come home without his fucking booze one evening and he
pinned me down and carved the words little prick into my skin. And
you really think I want to see him? I hope he gets fucking shived
and dies in there.”
Trailing my hand over his
shoulder, I gently traced his tattoo with my fingertips. I thought
about the poor child inside him. The child who had been abandoned
by the woman who should have protected him, who’d been brutally
scarred by the man who should have been taking care of him and then
left fending for himself by the brother he looked up to. He gripped
my wrist and moved it away from his arm, dropping it by my side.
Seeing my sympathetic and hurt expression Ollie shook his head. His
bandaged hand cupped my face and he sighed, pressing his forehead
against mine. “I don’t want pity. I’m the man I am today because of
all the shit I went through. Don’t ever feel sorry for what
happened to me because I’m not. Please, forget about it all,
ok?”
How could I forget?
Everything I knew about him had changed and he wasn’t just Ollie
anymore. He was a hurt, damaged little boy who’d been forced to
grow up unloved and frightened of his own father.
I felt deeply ashamed of
my inability to be strong for him. This was his time of need and
there I was falling apart in front of him. Wrapping me in his arms,
he rocked me side to side gently. I pressed my face into his neck
and held him tightly.
“
I really am alright you
know. This whole thing just dug up a past that I thought I buried
three years ago. I hate that man with every bone in my body and I
will never forgive him for what he did to me. But I will not let it
own me. This is my life, my future and my decision now. He can’t
control me or tell me what to do. I’m not going to see him and I am
not interested in why my mother is looking for me. She didn’t care
about me enough when I was a kid so why should I care about her now
that I’m a man. I just want to forget this whole thing. Ok?”
Lifting my head I nodded weakly. “Ok Ollie. But you know if you
ever change your mind or you want to talk, I’m here for you.” He
gave me a halfhearted smile and let me go.
Scanning the room, Ollie
ran his fingers through his long dark hair and sighed. Crouching
down to the floor he picked up a piece of his shattered guitar and
rubbed his thumb over the jagged edge before casting it aside.
“Great, good going Ollie. Where the hell am I going to get another
guitar by tomorrow night?”
Bending down beside him,
I took his hand and pulled him up with me.
”
I don’t know, but I
don’t think you’re going to feel any better if you keep looking at
all this. Why don’t you take a walk, cool off and I’ll have this
all cleared away when you get back. Go on.” Giving him a playful
shove I grabbed his shoulders and pushed him towards the door.
Stopping in the doorway he turned and placed a peck on my cheek.
“You really are the best person I know Layla. You’re amazing,
everything a man could ever dream of. He’s a really lucky guy. I
just hope he knows that.” Giving me a rueful smile, he turned and
left.
Clutching my hand to my
chest I pushed the door closed and pressed my palm against the hard
wood trying to catch my breath. My head hurt as I tried to process
everything I had just learned about my friend as I searched for a
box or bag to dispose of the guitar pieces. Gathering them up, I
glanced at Ollie’s night stand and dropped the sack of broken
plastic and metal. A white frame sat directly opposite his pillow.
Picking it up my jaw dropped in astonishment. There, caressing a
microphone was me. He must have taken it that first night at the
bar. My hair was swept around one side of my face and I was clearly
caught in a moment when he’d snapped me mid note. A ghost of a
smile was on my face and my eyes were tightly closed. Clasping the
frame in my hands, I stared at the photo. Ollie was clearly not
moving on and I had the distinct feeling that as time went on,
things were going to get more and more complicated. Dropping the
photo on the bed I finished cleaning up and left in a hurry. I
needed him to know I had found his memento but I didn’t want to be
there when he returned.
Closing my door behind
me, I leaned against it and massaged my temple, trying in vain to
relieve the throbbing headache that was forming. The sound of my
cell phone buzzing distracted me and I searched my purse for it.
Without checking the caller I.D, I answered. “Hello?”
“
Hey sweetheart. Missing
me?” Veins flooded with electricity as my body reacted immediately
to the gentle growl of Jared’s voice on the line. A tingling ran up
my spine as he spoke my name.
“
Layla? Baby is
everything alright?”
Taking a calming breath,
I tried to seem unflustered.
“
Yeah, sorry.
Everything’s fine I was just busy cleaning when you called that’s
all. Of course I miss you. I’ve been missing you ever since you
left for the airport and I’ll miss you more every second till
you’re home. I could really use a hug right now.” I could hear
concern in his voice as he responded to my last
statement.
“
Why? Layla what’s going
on? What’s happened? I’ll come back right now if you need me. I can
be there in a few hours.” Cutting him off, I sighed. “No Jared,
don’t do that. You have business to see to and I’m fine, honest
it’s just been a bad day that’s all. Class dragged and then Ollie
had this crisis and I had to be there for him, it was really
emotionally draining.”
There was a moment of
silence and my stomach lurched as I realized my
mistake.
“
Oliver
who lives across the hall? The same Oliver who practically accused
me of abducting you the other night? The Oliver who is desperately
trying to get into your panties?
That
Oliver? Well, how fucking
convenient. Oh, I really under estimated him didn’t I. Seizing his
opportunity as soon as I’m out of the picture to have a sudden
melt-down and then there you are giving him a shoulder to cry on.
Sounds very fucking cozy, Layla. Truly, I hope he feels better for
it because when I get back I’m going to give him something to cry
about!”
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