“ Mel!” “ What? I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” Walking beside me to the car she murmured in my ear. “We both know where he’d like to stick his tongue, and it’s not that far from your ass.” I climbed into the driver’s seat and smiled with just a twinge of embarrassment at Ollie on the passenger side. “So, what are we going to see?” “ I was thinking a horror flick.” Ollie grinned and held his fingers over his eyes mocking me. I playfully batted them away from his face. “ Dick.” Laughing he kissed my cheek as I backed out of the driveway. “Yeah, but you wouldn’t have me any other way.” I beamed back at him. Damn, he was right.
* * *
Christmas Eve finally landed and the whole house was buzzing with activity. Ollie and Daddy were busy hooking up every Christmas light we owned and mom was preparing all the food for Christmas lunch ready for the refrigerator. Mel and I had taken our usual task of decorating the tree. Hanging ornaments, lights and tinsels, I watched as my father directed Ollie, who was currently hanging some lights over our front door. Climbing up the ladder, his shirt lifted slightly and I caught a glimpse of his rock hard abs. I swallowed hard as I imagined running my hands all over those smooth perfect pieces of male flesh. “ For crying out loud Layla, put yourself and that boy out of his misery and fuck him already.” I snapped my head around at Mel who was staring at me with a raised eyebrow. “ I can’t. I won’t.” “ Why the hell not? You want him and he sure wants you. Why can’t you just go for it?” I exhaled loudly. We’d been over this before and I’d had this conversation with myself a thousand times already. “Because I can’t Mel. I can’t get into a relationship right now. Things are fine as they are and once we have sex, it will complicate everything.” She chuckled. “Relationship? Honey I just wanted someone to flick your bean.” I screwed my face up at her “Eww, you’re an animal you know that?” Giggling, she shrugged. “Why does sex have to complicate it? It’s just two good people doing very bad things to each other.” Glaring at her, I pressed my finger to my lip and glanced over at Ollie. Mercifully he was still completely preoccupied with hanging the lights in a perfectly symmetric design coordinated by my father. “ All I’m saying is it only has to get complicated if you let it. That’s all” “ I’m not risking it Melanie so just drop it!” Using her full name had always been my way of giving my friend her polite warning before I got really pissed. Heeding, she moved her fingers over her lips in a zipping gesture and resumed decorating the tree which at this point, looked like a tacky greeting card. Staring up at the disaster Mel and I had created by hanging every decoration in our twenty year old box on it, I sighed contentedly. I loved Christmas and for the first time in seven years I was spending it with both of my parents. Wrapping his arms around my waist in a warm embrace Ollie pressed his lips to my ear. “This is the best Christmas ever. I’m putting up lights, there’s an actual tree, I’m surrounded by great people and best of all, this year I have you.” I smiled as he kissed a spot just behind my ear. Placing my hands over his, I turned my head and kissed him softly. The year was almost over and as I thought back on everything that had happened, my chest tightened. I wondered how Jared would be spending the holidays. Would he be with Lucy and Lorraine? Would he be alone? But strangely the most important question I had was, could he be thinking about me? Because I was definitely thinking about him.
* * *
“ Layla, wake up. Come on sleepy head, get up. I need to give you your gift.” Slowly opening my eyes, I stared at him. “Ollie, it’s like six in the morning.” Pulling my pillow from beneath my head I turned over and shoved it over my skull. “ Come on baby girl. I can’t wait for this. You have to get up.” Groaning, I swung my legs out of my bed and stood up, stumbling to the bathroom. Ollie sat on my bed grinning. Brushing my teeth, I questioned his early riser routine. “ Why exactly do I have to get up at six in the morning to open my gift?” “ Will you stop asking questions and just hurry your ass up and get dressed. I’ll wait for you downstairs but be quiet; your folks are still asleep.” I heard the bedroom door close and glanced at my bed half tempted to crawl back into it and cocoon myself in my quilt. But since he’d gone to so much trouble to get me up, I decided I might as well humor him. Pulling on some sweat pants and a hoodie I walked out of my room, creeping past my parent’s door on the way. Beaming at me from the bottom of the stairs, Ollie held out his hand for me. Taking it, I eyed him suspiciously. “How are you so chirpy for this time of day? You could at least have the common decency to look a little rough.” His perfect straight black hair and typical rock boy clothes were pristine. He must have been up for an hour already at least. Shaking his head clearly amused, he grabbed my sneakers and slid them onto my feet as I stood gripping the banisters and yawning. “Ready?” “ For what?” “ Your gift.” He led me to the front door and pulled it open. “ I have to go outside for this!?” He chuckled and yanked my arm, pulling me through the door. “Come on, trust me, you’ll love this.” I rolled my eyes and followed him out into the cool morning air. The sun wasn’t up yet and the sky blue of the early morning light instantly reminded me of Jared’s piercing eyes. I could have kicked myself for thinking of him, especially as I was currently walking hand in hand with Ollie on Christmas morning. Looking up at his bright, fresh face I smiled. “Where are we going?” He pressed a kiss to my forehead as we walked and grinned at me. “It’s a surprise.” As we walked further, I glanced around sleepily at my surroundings and became aware of where I was headed. “Why are we going to the park?” “ God you ask so many questions.” “ But you won’t answer them?” He shook his head. “Nope.” Slipping behind me, he held his hands over my eyes. “Ok, no peeking.” I giggled at him as we walked unsteadily forward. “Ok, open.” Taking his hands from my face I gazed in awe at the scene he’d set up. A tartan blanket was lying on the ground with a bottle of champagne, two glasses and a picnic basket. I pressed my fingertips to my lips and grinned as I turned to face him. “What is all this?” Wrapping his arms around my waist, he smiled. “It’s breakfast by sunrise. I wanted to start today off the very best way possible, with you.” I gazed up at him and shook my head in amazement. “Ollie, I…I don’t know what to say. It’s incredible.” Taking my hand, he led me over to a tree opposite our picnic and I stood with my mouth gaping open as I saw our names carved into the bark. ‘Ollie & Layla 4Ever’ was the most beautiful engraving I’d ever seen. Flinging my arms around his neck I kissed him deeply. “It’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me.” He grinned back down at me and brushed the tip of his nose over mine. “Well hold that thought because I’m not done yet.” Leading me over to our cozy spot and taking a seat, he pulled me down to sit in front of him. His legs apart, I sat snuggly with my back to his chest and was also aware of my ass pressed against his crotch. Leaning over me, he opened the basket and kissed my cheek. “Take a look.” I beamed as I discovered two delicious, lightly toasted bagels with salmon, cream cheese and poppy seeds. It was my favorite breakfast and Ollie knew it. I turned my head and kissed his soft lips gently. I grabbed the cool bottle of champagne and poured us each a glass. Holding his in the air, he beamed at me. “Merry Christmas Layla.” Clinking his glass with my own, I gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “Merry Christmas Ollie.” His lip ring clanked against the glass as he sipped the champagne. Holding it away from himself he screwed up his nose, making me snort my laughter so hard, bubbles ran up my nose. “Wow, I thought champagne was supposed to be real good? This sucks. You like it?” I nodded and took another sip. He shrugged, grabbed a bagel and held it to my mouth. I immediately took a bite and moaned with pleasure at the delicious taste of fresh salmon. I was starving and the early morning wakeup call had left me no time to think about food but I was certainly in the mood for it. The bagels devoured and the champagne discarded I leaned back against him with my knees to my chest. His arms wrapped around me, we watched the sun come up. The beautiful shades of yellow, orange and red were intensely romantic and as the warmth of the first sunlight hit my face, I sighed. Resting my head against his shoulder, I thought about how Ollie must have spent every Christmas previously. Alone, hungry, frightened and unloved I imagined. There was nothing worse than the thought of someone I loved being abandoned at the holidays and I was once again flooded with thoughts of Jared. My heart gave an almighty thud as I thought about what he would be doing today. Working, watching TV in his sweats or maybe spending time with his new family. The family he felt he couldn’t tell me about, that he couldn’t trust me to keep a secret. It was still as painful as it had been those few weeks ago and I mentally chastised myself for letting my mind wander. I wasn’t willing to allow thoughts of Jared to ruin my holiday and Ollie’s beautiful gift. Leaning to my ear, Ollie whispered gently. “I have another gift for you. Wait here.” I watched him curiously as he disappeared behind a tree and when he re-emerged I grinned. In his hand he held an acoustic guitar and strumming it he walked back to me and sat, cross-legged on the blanket. I sat staring as he began to sing, low, husky and deliciously the way he always did. Every time I look at you There’s something that I have to do And I don’t know what I should say Baby I get speechless I’m just a complete mess You take my breath clean away I’ve never loved anyone like this before Never felt so sure I can’t understand it But you’re all I need You everything I’ve ever dreamed about I could never work it out You just make me breathless You’re beautiful and I want you to know There’s nowhere I won’t go If it means I am with you No matter where you are or what you do Layla I’m in love with you Tears pooled in my eyes as the beautiful melody and emotionally charged lyrics fluttered around me like feathers being carried on the breeze. I’d never experienced anything so powerfully romantic. Not even with Jared. Damn, Jared again . The setting, the picnic, the song, it was overwhelming and my heart was so crazy confused it had stopped it’s rocking and was now running around in circles stark naked while my mind danced around happily like a free spirited hippie at a love-in. My emotions were all over the place and were changing so rapidly it gave me whiplash. Placing his guitar beside him he gazed at me anxiously. Shaking my head and finally regaining consciousness from my reverie, I leaned in and kissed him passionately and meaningfully; trying to express how I felt through my act of affection. If only I could figure out what that was exactly. Ollie’s wonderfully sweet gift was entirely amorous and very thoughtful. Yet hearing those three little words didn’t have the effect on me that I desired. My heart didn’t race, my pulse never leapt and my own deep emotions remained buried inside me, suppressed by the ever present dull ache of my heart. He still had a hold over me and no matter how hard I tried to shake him off, Jared was the one my heart desired and it was not willing to let him go yet. Resting his forehead against mine, he brushed the tip of his nose back and forth over mine. “What are you thinking?” I gave him a smile. “How wonderful you are and how lucky I am to have you.” I lied. I wasn’t about to tell him that I was thinking of Jared. That would have gone down like a lead balloon. Thanks for the song Ollie but I’m just going to sit here and think over how much I still pine for Jared . He smiled back at me and pressed a chaste kiss to my lips. “We’d better get back before your parents wake up and worry where you are.” Clambering to his feet, he held out his hand for mine and hauled me off of the ground. We packed away our breakfast picnic and with his arm around my waist we walked back to the house, to parents, to Christmas morning and to the secure company of others. Time alone with Ollie was not just giving me ideas; it was playing horrible games with my frail emotions.