Butterfly (34 page)

She swats me on the arm. ‘I
can’t believe you!’

‘What?’ I feign ignorance.

‘You’ve got a hard-on.’ She
laughs.

‘I’ve always got a hard-on for
you.’ I grin. ‘And that’s not all I’ve got.’ I flip her over so
she’s lying on her back and press my body against her so she can
feel how much I want her.

Need her.

Scratch what I said about not
celebrating yet. After everything we’ve been through, why wait?
Life’s too short.

‘Oh, yeah,’ she teases. ‘What
else have you got?’ She wraps her legs around my hips.

A groan escapes from deep in my
throat. ‘Hold that thought, Grace.’ I untangle myself from her legs
and jump off the bed.

‘Hey, where are you going?’ she
cries.

I can feel the weight of her
gaze on my naked skin. ‘I’ll be back in a sec. We’re going to
celebrate.’

I remove the bottle of champagne
from the fridge and pop the cork, trying to do it quietly so she
can’t hear. I carry the foaming glasses back to the bedroom with
the bottle tucked under my arm.

‘Ooh, champagne!’ Grace sits up
in bed.

I put the bottle on the bedside
table, hand her a glass, and turn the bedside lamp on. She wears a
worried frown.

‘Are you sure it’s not too early
to celebrate? Theo might still get off.’

‘We’re not celebrating that.
We’re celebrating us.’ I clink my glass against hers and take a
sip, gazing into her beautiful green eyes over the rim. ‘This is to
us. To our future. To growing old together. To loving each other.
To a million more nights and days wrapped in your arms.’

She stares into my eyes, and
knowing she’s mine gives me the best feeling in the world.

She cups my cheek in her hand
and draws forward, her lips brushing against mine. Her tongue
dances and teases in my mouth. When she pulls back, tears glisten
in her eyes.

‘Hey!’ I reach out and pull her
into my chest. ‘Don’t cry.’

‘I’m not crying because I’m sad.
I’m crying because I’m happy. I never thought it was possible to
feel so happy. No one’s ever said the beautiful things you say to
me. No one’s ever treated me the way you do.’

‘I never thought I’d ever feel
happiness, either, after Mia. I never thought I’d let anyone else
break down my barriers. Only you could’ve done that, Grace. You’re
one in a million. Now, you have to stop talking for a minute and
drink the champagne.’ I grin at her.

‘Huh? Why?’ She glances down
into the glass.

The bubbles have all disappeared
now, and she can finally see something in the bottom of it.

‘Oh my God!’ she squeals,
pulling out a white gold ring with a square cut diamond in the
centre. ‘Is this? Is it?’ She stares at the ring between her
fingers. ‘Tell me what this is.’

‘OK, I’ll give you a hint. A
ring?’

She rolls her eyes at me. ‘I
know it’s a ring. What kind of ring?’

I reach into the bedside drawer
and pull out the page from a newspaper. It’s taken ages for me to
find this, but I’ve been searching for months, just so I’d be
ready.

I hand over the page, which has
letters circled throughout the sentences like a headline. ‘Read
it.’

She says the words aloud. ‘”You
Don’t Just Mean the World To Me, You Are My World. I Can’t Imagine
Life Without You. Will You Marry Me?”’

She shakes her head as she
stares at the newspaper in shock. For a moment, I think she’s going
to say no.

Then she cracks a wide smile.
‘Ditto, Ben.’ She throws her arms around my neck, the champagne
sloshing out of her glass, down my back and onto the sheets.

‘You’d better kiss that off.’ I
raise a suggestive eyebrow at her.

‘Don’t worry, I will. I’ll need
to get in practice, after all.’

‘Practice?’

Her eyes dance with an excited
sparkle. ‘For the honeymoon, of course.’

65

GRACE

We talk for hours. We’re wrapped
up in each other arms, words, and thoughts, warm and safe. Nothing
bad can touch us here. We make plans for the future, our future. We
laugh, we dare to dream, and we make love.

And just like that, Ben’s done
what he’s always done, ever since I’ve known him. He’s taken a
tragedy and turned it into something positive, something special,
something hopeful. Chased away the bad and replaced it with
something so perfect that I can almost feel it cocooning us.

We finally drift into a relaxed
sleep in the early hours of the morning, even though I have to get
up in a few hours to start baking. When my alarm wakes me, I forget
for a second what happened last night. Then I look at the ring
sparkling on my finger and break into a huge smile.

I kiss his cheek and watch him
sleep. Study how his dark lashes shadow across his cheeks. The
curve of his back. His muscles firm and defined, even in
relaxation.

Beautiful. Inside and out.

In the coffee shop, I mix the
ingredients and don’t think about Theo. I don’t panic or worry
about what will happen at court today. I’ve done what I had to. I’m
letting go, too.

Ben knocks on the door at eight
a.m. I look up from the counter and flash him a smile before
unlocking the door.

‘Hey, beautiful.’ He wraps his
arms around me.

‘Same to you.’ I grin up at him,
and he kisses the tip of my nose.

‘You’d better not greet your new
employee like this.’

Ben’s only got a few days before
he starts his job, and with everything that’s happened, I haven’t
had the time or motivation to find someone to work here with
me.

‘I haven’t got one yet.’

‘Maybe Rebecca could help you
out. It might be good for her to spend some time with you. Get her
out of the house, think about something else.’

‘Maybe you’re right. I’ll ask
her.’ I raise an eyebrow, remembering what Edward called me. ‘Then
we can both be “a couple of whores who work in a coffee shop”!’

And I laugh. I actually laugh
about it. A real belly laugh that makes my sides ache and my eyes
water. And I don’t know why. It’s not even funny, but it’s payback,
and it feels so amazingly fantastic.

We work side by side all day.
Despite myself, I’m clock-watching, wondering what’s happening at
court. Has the jury gone out yet? Are they sitting in their private
room debating the evidence? Do they believe him or us?

At four-thirty, my mobile phone
rings from my bag in the office. I glance at Ben, who’s serving a
customer. He gives me an encouraging smile before I rush off to
answer.

‘Hello?’

‘Hi, Grace. This is Dana from
the Crown Prosecution Service.’

‘Hi,’ I say breathlessly,
wanting to hear it now. Immediately. I can’t wait any longer.

‘I just wanted to give you an
update on what happened today. The jury were only out for a couple
of hours deliberating. They found Theo guilty of two counts of
rape, and he’s been remanded in custody until the sentencing
hearing. The CPS will be asking for the maximum penalty.’

Breath gushes from my lungs with
relief. ‘Wow, that’s brilliant. Thanks for letting me know.’

‘Thank you, Grace. I know this
wasn’t easy for you. And I wish you lots of luck for the
future.’

‘Have you told Rebecca?’

‘Yes, I phoned her a few minutes
ago.’

We hang up, and I turn round to
see Ben hovering in the doorway, waiting for me to tell him.

‘We did it!’ I fly into his
arms. ‘They found him guilty on both counts.’

He picks me up and spins me
round. ‘
You
did it. You and Rebecca.’

When he stops spinning me, I
rest my ahead against his neck, inhaling his spicy scent mixed with
his unique musky smell, breathing him into me. ‘It’s finally over,’
I say, although I know this isn’t the end of my story.

It’s just the beginning.

You see, I know bad things
happen. Every day. To good people. It’s called life. The thing is,
though, when you hit rock bottom, the only place left to go is up.
I’m starting to believe that good things, special things, can come
from the bad, the horrific, and the ugly. That a tragedy can be a
gift in disguise, and has the ability to turn into something
positive and life changing. Something that will help others, if you
let it. That love can heal the pain and bring meaning back to
life.

Was I supposed to end up here? I
guess I’ll never know. As I said, I’ve never been friends with
fate. But what I do think is that I would have never found where I
was really supposed to be if my past hadn’t happened. I would have
never found home. With Ben.

And maybe, just maybe, living
through something like this makes you a warrior, stronger than
you’ve ever been. Maybe even invincible, which is what I feel right
now.

So the butterfly has cracked
through the dark chrysalis imprisoning her life. She’s soaring now,
flying away from the ghosts and demons and into the bright
sunlight.

She’s spreading her wings and
taking on the world.

A Note from the Author

I’d like to
thank you, the reader, for sharing in Grace’s and Ben’s journey.
The themes touched on in
Butterfly
were difficult to write about for many reasons,
but mostly because of the sheer numbers of rape survivors and the
attitudes of society towards this subject. Sexual assault and rape
are crimes which are still considered unspeakable.
The
feeling of responsibility and shame is so intense for rape
survivors they may never tell anyone, but regardless of the rape
myths that prevail, sexual assault is
never
your fault.
Ever.

I do believe that what we keep
inside continues to hurt us, so if you relate personally to any
part of this story, please tell someone if you can—friend, a family
member, a support group, a professional counsellor or
therapist.

Butterfly

Elle Harper

Copyright © Elle Harper
2014

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