Cartography for Beginners (28 page)

Tallis said, "Jean-Claude and I are paying for the wedding ourselves, and our decisions outweigh Joelle's, as dear as she is to me. I wish Stuart to attend. I wish you all to attend. The wedding is open to all our friends."

"That's kind of you," Leo said. Under the table his hand slipped into Stuart's, warm and steady.

"I'll attend for your sake, Tallis," Stuart said and she gave a small, decisive nod.

Amelie said, "Gabriel is my son, not hers. I will decide when he meets his grandfather."

"Amelie," Stuart said, "It's all right."

"Marc and I have discussed this," said Amelie, "and we want you to know your grandson, no matter what Mother says. You can stop looking so disapproving, Nicole. He is our father. That will never change."

Nicole threw down her napkin and got up from the table, and left the garden to walk down the footpath by the river. Tallis rose too but Amelie put a hand on her arm. "Leave her. She is dramatic. If we ignore her making a scene, she'll stop."

Tallis sat down again. "Stuart, I am sorry."

Leo squeezed Stuart's hand again. "I didn't expect this to be easy," Stuart said and looked at Leo. "What's a family reunion without a few fights?"

"One where everyone's too sleepy from the enormous dinner to fight," Leo said, which made Micah giggle.

Jamie came out of the house then, in clean clothes and the paint mostly washed off. He sat himself unceremoniously on Ben's knee and looked at all their faces. "What'd I miss?"

***

Nicole rejoined them after she had walked off her temper, and Jamie took it upon himself to pay attention to her and get her to relax and enjoy the meal. It turned out had Ben and Tallis had friends in common -- she had eaten at many restaurants owned by people he knew -- and Leo, of course, was a good storyteller as always, so when he talked about musicians he had interviewed or friends with the knack of having adventures, everyone stopped talking to listen.

Stuart let them all talk, not feeling much need to contribute himself. Nicole didn't look at him once as she ate, but he supposed the fact that she had come back rather than return to the hotel meant she was willing to give him another chance.

"You'll be here Friday, won't you?" Jamie said. "You'll come to opening night? Though I suppose if you want to wait until the Paris show that would be fantastic too."

"I want to see both," Tallis said. "You are young for such a gathering of your work, but you are so productive, too."

"My best is probably still ahead of me," Jamie said. "I hope it is, anyway."

"I'd love to come," Amelie said, "but we have been away from home many days already and I miss my Gabriel."

"Marc could bring him," Tallis said and Stuart tried not to look too hopeful. "I am trying to convince Jean-Claude to come to London again. He makes the trip frequently so it's no strange journey to him, but he keeps putting me off this time."

"He visits often?" Stuart said.

"He came earlier this summer, with some friends," said Tallis. "He said he visited your gallery."

"Oh," Stuart said softly, "yes. That makes sense." They all looked at him, Tallis questioning, and Stuart explained, "Three young Frenchmen came to the gallery one day and I thought I'd seen one of them before. That must have been Jean-Claude. I got the letter about your wedding not long after." He said to Leo, "It was right before you called me about your friend's funeral."

"I remember you telling me about that," Leo said.

"It was him," said Tallis with a nod. "He wanted to see you before he did anything more. I think he meant to speak with you but lost his courage. I'll tell him you are not so terrifying."

"Thank you," Stuart said.

"Stuart's not terrifying at all," said Micah, "once you get used to him."

"And thank you," Stuart said again, much more dryly.

"Oh, you know you're my favorite Stuart."

"I also know I'm your only Stuart."

"Last year," Micah said to the girls, "I was in Paris, my boyfriend had dumped me -- not Dunie, he'd never do such a thing -- and left me all by myself, and my friends were so worried about me that they asked Stuart to get a hold of me and make sure I was okay. So he did, and took me out to dinner and showed me around the city so I wouldn't be lonely. We didn't know each other as well then as we do now, too, so it was like meeting for the first time."

Stuart shrugged. "You're pleasant company."

"So are you," Micah told him. "Everybody should know that. Everybody at this table should know that." He didn't look at Ben, but Ben found his plate unusually interesting nonetheless, as did Nicole.

"In all lives," said Amelie in her gentle voice, "there are people who come and go, and sometimes there are people who come and go and come back again. For those, I am especially grateful. When I first met my husband I didn't think much of him, but when we met again, he impressed me so much with his goodness. Many people in film are selfish and think too much of themselves, but Marc is never that person. I am glad every day I took the time to let him show me this was so."

"Second chances," said Jamie. "I've given a few myself. Glad when I get them, too."

"If this is testimonials time," said Leo, "like Stuart said, a friend of mine passed away earlier this spring, and Stuart came out to California to be my support for the funeral."

"Now you're embarrassing me," Stuart said.

"I want them to see what a good friend you are. You're doing the show for Jamie because you believe in him. You're hosting all of us because you like our company. You're not some cold, terrible monster. You're a good man." Leo's eyes were bright with emotion, his hand trembling in Stuart's. "I won't hear another word against you."

Stuart kissed him. He heard Dune say, "Oh, my God," and Micah say, "Yes!" Jamie laughed and Ben said, "I thought so," and the girls said to each other, "I thought they weren't together."

It was a brief kiss, not at all what Stuart planned to do, especially in front of all their friends. When he pulled away from Leo he could feel heat in his cheeks.
Blushing like a schoolboy,
he thought, and Leo was smiling at him like he was confused but glad. He squeezed Stuart's hand under the table once more.

"Thank you, is what I meant to say," Stuart said.

"I liked that better," said Leo.

Dune said, "Dad? What the hell's going on?"

"I'm moving on," said Leo.

"But with--" He cut off abruptly and glared at Micah, who looked as innocent as only he could while drinking a mojito. "Good for you," Dune said stiffly, though the look he gave Leo said they would discuss this later.

You and me both,
thought Stuart, but it could wait, especially when Ben said, "Who wants dessert?"

***

The weather was so fine that they all agreed to take a walk on the footpath by the river. Stuart hung back so he could watch Leo and Dune. They were the same height, the same build, they walked at the same pace. They even swung their arms the same way, and even when they were arguing -- quietly, Stuart had never heard either of them raise their voices to each other -- they kept their heads close together, their bodies displaying no defensive gestures at all.

Stuart sighed, unable to hold back the envy that arose, and then smiled when Amelie broke off from the little group ahead and joined him. She put an arm around his waist. "I like Leo. I like them all, but I very much like Leo."

"So do I." They walked at a leisurely pace. "I looked you up yesterday on the movie database."

"Oh? And what did you find?"

"Your filmography, of course. I've seen a lot of your work already and didn't even know it." He looked down at her. "Now when I look at you I can't unsee how much you look like your grandmother when she was your age. I have the photo albums out for you to look at later, if you'd like."

"I would like."

"You were so young in your first movie."

"Eight," she confirmed. "A child actress. I fell in love when I saw my first film and wanted nothing more out of life than to be on screen."

"But you put your career on hold for a family."

"I grew up," she said. "I will work again, when Gabriel does not need me so much."

They walked in silence for a little bit more, and then Stuart said, "I've regretted leaving you all every day," as he looked out at the river.

"Then why didn't you come back?" Her tone bore no accusation, but Stuart felt it nonetheless.

"Pride, at first. Anger. Hurt. Your mother said some terrible things to me. Of course, most of them were true," he admitted. "I'm not innocent in the matter."

"Were there other men?" Amelie said gently.

"Yes." He swallowed. "I've never been good at fidelity."

"Not even for Leo?" The way she said Leo's name made it sound like a note of music.

"I'm not sure what we are yet. As you saw, not even the boys knew about us."

"Yet you love him," she said and he stopped walking.

"I don't-- he's not--"

She stood like a ballet dancer, her heels together, her toes pointed out and her hands behind her back. She was petite and round like his mother had been, while Nicole had Joelle's long legs and slender build. "You look at him as if you want to know how he tastes."

"I know how he tastes," Stuart mumbled.

Amelie laughed. It was musical, too. "Then it is not a matter of 'is there love,' but rather a matter of 'how much love.'"

"Leo and I have a history," Stuart said. "I thought I could help him through some tough times."

"Out of love."

"Amelie, please."

"You and Jean-Claude, you are more alike than you know," she said. "He, too, doesn't like to say when his heart is touched. He would rather do than say. Your friends have learned to read you, as Tallis reads Jean-Claude. And you can't deny that Leo thinks highly of you, that he cares for you very much."

Still Stuart shook his head. "Leo's like that with everybody. He sees the best in everyone. He defends anyone he thinks needs defending."

Amelie looked ahead of them -- at Leo and Dune down the path, their dark heads still bent together. "Now he defends you to his son, because his son does not approve."

"Not many people approve of me," Stuart said, passing a hand over his forehead.

Amelie took his hand. "I approve of you. Come, we're lagging behind."

Impulsively -- he seemed to be doing a lot of that today -- he kissed her hair. "You're beautiful, Amelie."

"As my father you are obliged to think so," she said, dimpling again, and pulled him down the path to catch up with the others.

***

"Why Stuart?" Dune said as they walked along the Strand. "Out of all the people you know, why him?"

"Why not Stuart?" Leo said contentedly. Having it out in the open felt wonderful -- it was alien to him to keep secrets. "He's a good man, attractive, intelligent--"

"I'll give you attractive and intelligent," Dune said. "I wouldn't say 'good' yet."

"Dune," Leo said, "I said I won't hear another word against him and I mean it. He's been good to us. He's kind to his friends. He's dedicated to his artists."

"He abandoned his children."

Leo nodded slowly. "I know. But I also know he regrets it, and this whole thing with meeting them and going to Jean-Claude's wedding is to make up for it."

"Lunch and a wedding toast aren't going to make up for twenty-five years of neglect."

"Which is why," Leo said patiently as he took Dune's arm, "as his friends, we're going to encourage him to keeping the relationships going."

"And what about their mother?" countered Dune. "She doesn't want them contacting him at all. There's got to be more to the story than what Stuart's told us."

"You don't think he was abusive."

"No," Dune said. "He's nothing like Gavin. I mean, he wants to be in charge of people, but he's not dangerous about it. But I still think we don't know everything about what happened between them."

"You don't," said Leo. "He's told me all about it -- and no, I'm not going to tell you. It's his story, not mine."

"Okay," Dune said. "You still haven't told me why him. Everything you said is also true about most of the people you know. Why Stuart? Why do you want him?"

Leo walked, watching his sneakers on the paved footpath, and Dune watched him with concern. "After the funeral," Leo said, "no, before that. When I was looking after Jack and helping him with the arrangements, Stuart was the one who looked after me."

"Dad, I look after you all the time."

"Your boyfriend brings me Pocky," Leo said, glancing at him fondly. "Stuart is more full-service."

"Oh, Dad!" Dune exclaimed, recoiling. "Gross!"

"Get your mind out of the gutter. No, on second thought, leave it there. You're exactly right. We did something life-affirming after the funeral, like I'm sure you and Micah did, and I'm happy that it happened. I don't want to be only friends anymore."

"But why? What do you see in him? Sure, he's gorgeous and sexy, I get that, but so was Rupert and you barely gave him a chance. David is an old friend, but you're not thinking of dating him at all, are you?"

"No, not at all. Rupert wasn't right for me, and with David -- there's no spark with David, Dunie, there's no thunderbolt."

"And there is with Stuart," Dune clarified.

Leo looked behind them, to where Stuart was walking with Amelie. They looked so sweet together, gazing at each other with a cautious sort of adoration. "Oh, kid, is there ever."

***

The girls left in the evening, having looked at the photo albums and let Micah take pictures and Jamie make sketches and eaten more of Ben's food. Stuart sat in the armchair as the room grew darker, listening to the boys upstairs, and tried to settle his thoughts.

He supposed it was a mostly a matter of time for him to win over Nicole. Tallis was objective, for the most part, and Amelie had made up her mind that she wanted her father around; Nicole needed proof, he supposed, that he wasn't going to abandon them again. And Jean-Claude -- Jean-Claude remembered him better than the girls, and it would be harder to earn his forgiveness.