Chasing Forever (10 page)

Instantly, I was right next to her, sitting as I pulled her body
close, resting her head on my lap, stroking her hair then her arm repeatedly as she howled her pain away.

She cried. Non-stop.
Until she no longer could. It had probably been about an hour when she finally became silent.

Taking a peek at her tear-stained face, I found her fast asleep. I stared at her
countenance, really looking at her for the first time. In this state, she looked like any gullible woman, and she probably was. After all the hurt, and I was assuming, betrayal she had endured from her lover, she’d coped the only way she knew how. It was sad that her coping mechanism was the worst kind there was, but who could reason with a broken person? I was one, too, and I remembered Blake and Chad had tried to intervene against my ceaseless acts of destruction. Truthfully, at that time, I couldn’t see anything other than the lacerating pain dislodged inside me, choking me each time I took a breath, killing me slowly from within.

Heartache could be the cruelest kind of mourning. People died from it. Some m
ight take months, but others readily gave up weeks right after getting their heart smashed into smithereens.

With care, I slowly took hold of her limp body. The baby bump protruded amidst the sea of fabric of her dress. Guilt settled in as I carried her to the extra bedroom in the suite. Pulling the covers down, I placed her in the middle of the soft mattress and covered her body with the feather comforter.

Looking down on her, I felt a harsh stab of regret—of sadness and maybe a little guilt. Even though she didn’t love me that way, I knew that I somehow had caused her injury, even if it was on a smaller scale compared to her other heartaches.

Had
she always been this way? Seeing her breakdown had made me doubt that. She probably had been impressionable, arms wide open for love, and unfortunately, had chosen the wrong men in her life. They’d bulldozed her with endless promises before she’d fully given them her trust. However, once they’d had it, they had taken advantage of her gullibility and thrown her heart away. It was true, her heart had been broken. The only difference now was that she also had a broken soul and destroyed spirit.

Poor Amelia
, I thought sadly.

Remorse situated deeply in me, but even then, it wasn’t enough for me to sacrifice my life to help her fix her own.

After all, life was a battle we each had to endure, hoping that we wouldn’t get crushed by its heavy lashing.

Chapter 13

Toby

The following morning, I awoke from the sound of the doorbell, the door being opened, and then some shuffling here and there before the room quieted again.

Raking a hand through my hair, I thought to myself that I needed a haircut whilst reaching for my phone on the nightstand, checking the time.
Nine in the morning.

Wh
en did Amelia say the appointment was?
I wondered as I slid off the bed and strode over to the closet to put a robe on. I had slept in my boxer-briefs like I always did, but I didn’t want to look indecent when checking on Amelia.

Loosely knotting the complimentary plush robe, I strode out the door barefoot. The harsh
, Spanish sun filtered through the massive expanse of glass, blinding me a moment. When I finally squinted my eyes open, I saw Amelia sitting on the couch, nibbling on fresh fruits and cream, face naked of artifice and in the same state as I was—dressed in a robe and a little exhausted.

“Good morning. Did you sleep well?” Slowly moving towards her, I sat on the opposite side, studying her awhile, wondering if I could see traces of the woman from last night.

She made a wan smile, barely meeting my gaze. “Surprisingly I did.” She didn’t add anything after that as she focused on dipping a strawberry in the cream bowl before bringing it in between her lips and taking half a bite.

“What time did you say the doctor’s appointment was?” I asked as I reached for a raspberry and slipped it in my mouth, savoring the sweetness as it broke apart on my
tongue.

“I can call him thirty minutes before we leave. He’ll see me first before his other clients.” Of course she was
a priority. I wouldn’t expect anything less from her.

I decided that the woman before me was still reeling from the events last night
; a mixture of gullibility and stubbornness. Today should be interesting.

“Amelia, about last night...” I cleared my throat. “I was beyond harsh, and for a moment, I had forgotten that you
are pregnant.” Seeking her eyes, she quietly stared back at me. “I apologize for what happened.”

She made a sad smile at my words. “You know what I thought before I fell asleep?”

“Hmm?”

“That you were actually a loving
, sweet man. Had it been you that I fell for, I think I would end up being a happy woman.” Her voice held melancholy, reminding me of the woman from last night crying herself to sleep on my lap.

“I don’t want to be your enemy
. I hope you realize that.”

She nodded, breaking eye contact. “I know,” she whispered. “I’ve known all along.”

To me, she seemed complacent, as if she’d had an epiphany or something. The old Amelia would never converse with me this way, or let alone, admit any of this. And even though last night had shocked me to no end, I must admit that this new version of her was likeable. If co-parenting was in our future, I would feel much more comfortable leaving our child in her care.

After our light breakfast, we immediately started getting ready to leave for the doctors after Amelia’s quick call to make sure that they knew she was coming. Leaving the hotel, Amelia’s chauffeured car took us to our destination.

Anticipation and anxiety invaded me to no end. You see, this would be the first ultrasound I’d ever been to; back in the beginning, I had acted like a spoilt bastard.

Feeling remorseful f
or my past actions, I quietly vowed that I would go to as many appointments as I could, even if I had great doubts about the child’s paternity. Either way, I decided that I’d rather deal with this situation as delicately as I could. If the child turned out to be mine, then that would be lovely. If it weren’t, then at least I wouldn’t have to deal with regrets. My life as of late had been filled with them, one after the other.

Shifting my face away from the window towards Amelia, she somehow looked pale even with her tanned skin and red lipstick. “Are you feeling better?” Reaching out to her, I gave her arm a light squeeze, as if wanting to transfer some of my strength to her. She looked like she needed it somehow. She blinked a few times as if she was bringing herself back to
the present, like her thoughts were somewhere far off, before she glanced at me with confusion. “Are you all right?” Her behavior was starting to worry me. “It’s going to be fine. I’m going to try and be here for every appointment from now on, okay?”

She barely acknowledged what I
had just said, which threw me off a tad because, before her mini breakdown, this would’ve been quite a big deal. Right at this moment, though, she simply brushed it off, asking, “When are you leaving?”

“Tomorrow before lunch
,” I informed her, not taking my eyes away from her odd reaction. “We can go baby shopping later in the afternoon if you’re up for it.” Which only made me wonder again, “Have you bought any baby furniture and the lot?”

“Last month, I purchased tiny
, pink lace booties.” Her voice was hollow as she looked away, glancing towards the window.

I suppose
d that was a start. “Well, we can go ahead and add more to the collection if you’re willing. I wouldn’t mind walking about and being surrounded with pink frills and all those baby things.”

“Sure.” That was all she said.

It looked like she didn’t want to be bothered so I let her be, leaving her in her own world while my thoughts lingered on last night and how her feistiness had turned into something that I wasn’t accustomed to.

Ten minutes
later, the driver stopped in front of a private clinic.

Pushing down the lump in my throat, I stepped out of the vehicle, wondering what it would be like to see the baby for the first time. People did this sort of thing on a daily basis. There was nothing to be nervous of, surely.

Striding over to Amelia’s side, I opened the door for her, offering my hand to help her out of her seat. She didn’t hesitate to take it, and when she did, I was surprised to find her hand was freezing cold in the hot, Spanish summer. It was beyond strange.

“Goodness
, you’re cold. Why didn’t you say so? We could’ve gotten you a light wrap to put around you,” I said with worry, my brows furrowing at her, wondering what the bloody hell was going on with her.

“I’m fine,” she quietly said, nodding towards me to follow her inside the glass doors. “Come on.”

Taking a mental note, I made sure to remember that I needed to address a lot of things with her tonight before I left back to England tomorrow. Before, I wouldn’t have cared about what Amelia did, yet for some reason, after last night, I somehow felt the need to look out for her.

It was a peculiar feeling
, especially when it came to her. Life was full of punches and surprises. I could attest to that.

Chapter 14

Toby

The kind looking nurse ushered us into a dark room with one beaming light coming from a blank screen before quietly closing the door behind us, leaving us there.

Amelia strolled forward before placing her purse on the white table against the wall while my eyes scoured for the light switch.

“Don’t. I want it this way,” she said behind me the second I was about to press the switch.

“Of course
. Whatever suits you best,” I replied, clearing my throat as she slowly took her dress off, then her undergarments came next. Transfixed at the naked sight of her with the baby bump, I watched as she took the hospital gown splayed across the medical table before casually putting it on without giving me a glance.

“The baby looks bigger…”
Compared from last night
, my mind blurted out. “What do we do next? Just wait for the doctor to show up, then?” This was my first time, after all. Naturally, I was curious to know how these things worked.

“You can bring a chair and sit next to me if you like
,” she offered as she stepped next to the medical chair and slid on it, situating herself on top of the paper covered recliner before closing her eyes.

Moving towards the side of the wall, I took a chair and quietly placed it
at her side. Just when I was about to sit on the cushioned seat, the door cracked open and an older, male doctor with salt and pepper hair came in.

“
¡
Hola, Señorita Mendoza
!
¿Cómo vamos
?” he greeted as he strode inside the room, stopping in his tracks when he found me sitting next to Amelia. “Hola, Señor Watson. It’s time you join us,
sí
?” He gave me an approving smile as he continued towards Amelia.

They quietly exchanged
words in Spanish, and since I wasn’t fluent with the language and could only manage around the country with knowledge of the basics, I ended up trying to figure out what they were discussing. Based on his tone, he seemed to be asking her questions like, what her daily diet was usually, or if she had been meticulously taking her pre-natal vitamins, to which she responded that she was taking them a few times a week instead of on a daily basis.

Goodness, what had she been doing? She seemed to be misguided when it came to taking care of the baby in her womb. I didn’t even doubt that she would unintentionally skip meals, leaving the unborn baby with no nutrition for quite some time. I needed to speak to the chef,
Leta, that used to make meals for us in our marital home. When I left her, I hadn’t thought about reminding the staff about making sure that she was taking small meals even if she didn’t feel like it. I had assumed that they, the staff, would gradually put that into their routine. Unfortunately, I had been wrong about that.

My ears w
ere still trying to tune into the conversation when my phone beeped, indicating a message. Shifting to my side and away from their view, I checked who it was. Blake Knightly.

Two missed calls, a voice message and one text message, all from the bloody man
himself.
Bastard, did he miss me that much?
I smirked at the thought of it. Opening his virtual mail, my eyes scanned the message.

Heard you were in Madrid.
Everything all right? Sienna and I are back in London. Call me if you need anything, even if it needs me to fly out there. I mean it, Watson.

Sienna says hello. She also had to make sure I typed that in. Oh the joys of married life.

Call me when you can.

The joys of married life
, my arse. The bloody fool couldn’t function without Sienna in his life. He loved her beyond obsession. Beyond reason. Beyond life. And I couldn’t be any happier that he had finally found someone that made him sink to his knees, worshipping the woman who loved him the same way he loved her. Their love was a ball of tragedy, beauty and intensity.

Like what I had with Lucy…

Thinking about her brought a heavy tightening in my chest before I slowly coached myself to breathe without feeling the sharp burn in my nostrils. Clearing my throat and my lingering thoughts of the lost love I had, I slipped the phone back into the pocket of my dark jeans before focusing on the two people before me.

Amelia was nodding, submerged in what the doctor was telling her. He was wearing a heavy frown, lips thinned as he nodded, looking down at her with worry in his eyes.

With her awful habit of skipping meals and the pre-natal vitamins, I was almost sure she was doing a lot of things that she wasn’t supposed to be doing. No wonder the doctor didn’t seem too pleased with her answers.

It wasn’t long before
the doctor addressed me and said we would start the check-up, and he’d try to explain as much as he could. He also informed me that, if I ever had any question, I could go right ahead and ask.

Amelia’s feet were on the stir-ups before the doctor lifted her gown and stopped right above the swell of her stomach. Using two fingers, he was pressing about the womb,
asking her questions about pain and if she’d had any instances where there was cramping at all. She answered him with a small shake of her head.

He was about to do a vaginal check up on her, so he gently explained that she was entering her third trimester and needed to eat a little more. After the examination, he proceeded towards her belly, producing a tube of clear gel
, expelling a good amount on the tip of her stomach.

With baited breath, I became anxious at the mere idea of seeing the baby on the screen. True, there was a high chance that it wasn’t mine, but there was that puny
bit of a chance that it could be.

The screen was blank as he pressed the device into the skin of her
stomach. The first thing I heard was the heavy whooshing sound of a loud heartbeat. It surrounded the room. A few seconds later, the baby appeared on the screen, looking like a tiny, sprouting bean, curled up and all.

“Come meet your pequeña.” The doctor was addressing me, but I was too busy being mesmerized at the tiny form
on the screen.

After a minute or two, I dropped my gaze towards her stomach before reverting back to the screen.
Oh my
, I thought to myself, swallowing the dryness in my throat. Emotions ran havoc in my mind and body. I barely recognized what they all were because I was truly out of my depth here.

Lucy…
no wonder she loathed me and had moved on without hesitation.

Not before long, we were done with the exam and the doctor advised Amelia and myself that she needed to eat more and add light exercise in her regimen
, so when the time came that she went in labor, she wouldn’t have much difficulty.

Exiting the private clinic, we quietly strode towards the car where the driver held the door open.

For a while, I kept glancing at her, hoping her facial expression and demeanor would change. From the hotel to the clinic, she was simply monotonous, robotic, as if everything bored her senseless. Maybe last night had drained her. After all, she had cried buckets. I was sure that had taken a toll emotionally. The least I could do was at least try to be understanding.

“Feel like going baby shopping?” I kindly asked, hoping she’d say yes.

She shook her head, merely giving me a brief glance before turning her head back towards the window. “I’m tired,” she whispered. “Maybe next time.”

I sighed. “Okay, definitely the next time I come back then.” Stifling my disappointment, I asked her again, “Do you want to just drop me off so you can go home and rest?” I didn’t want to be such an inconvenience. I had little to no experience when it came to pregnant women, and from what I kn
ew, they were one not to be messed with, most especially when they were exhausted.

“Can I stay with you?” she asked before turning around to face me with
an unreadable, dark depth. “Until you leave tomorrow, if you don’t mind?”

Weighing it
over, I supposed she could. After all, didn’t I need to make sure she ate? Besides, I needed to make a call to the chef and ask him a favor.

“It’s fine. We need to discuss and straighten out details anyhow.”

“We do, don’t we…?” she trailed off, back to her expressionless state.

Noting the
extreme duality of her personality, I was truly considering that something might be going on with her, beyond pregnancy and all.

My flight back was tomorrow around noontime. Would that be enough time for her to open up to me?