Chosen Heart (58 page)

I guess my omission was an
admission.  I’m glad she isn’t pressuring me for information and when she
says she won’t tell anyone, I believe her.  Not knowing where we go from
there, I stare blankly at the wall.  After putting in the first movie, she
pours me another glass, rejoining me on the floor. 

My phone chimes and as I glance
down I see Alex’s picture on my screen.  Janice smirks and continues to
drink her margarita, watching the opening credits. 

*Can I please
see you tonight? I’d really like to continue where we left off…*

**I’m sorry,
forgot to tell you, having a girl’s night with Janice.**

*And what does
girl’s night entail? Why do I sense strippers and alcohol in your near future?
J
*

**Have you met
Janice? There is alcohol, but no strippers. Only movies.**

*Don’t drink too
much! If you need me to drive you home, call me. Take care of MY Hart.*

**I will. Thank
you for caring.**

*I more than
care, Hart. I love you like crazy…*

Placing my phone on the coffee
table, I can’t help but smile.  I know how much he cares for me and how
much even this little time apart is hurting both of us.  But, tonight
isn’t about him.  It’s about me and Janice having some much needed girl
time. 

Soon, Janice and I share some
girly banter about how attractive Colin Egglesfield is.  Several of his features
remind me of Alex; his deep dimples, striking blue eyes and dark hair. 
The yearning for Alex deepens as I think about him, sending a deep ache down to
my groin.  Trying to drown my libido with alcohol, I finish the rest of my
margarita way too fast, giving me a brain freeze.  We giggle as I wince in
pain, holding my hands over the sides of my head. 

“Here.  Another glass is
what you need.  Cure for any type of pain,” Janice jokes as she pours me
another glass.  I couldn’t agree more.  The alcohol has already
kicked in and the stress and heartache from earlier has subsided, in addition
to my need.  The need for my heart.

Several hours later, both Janice
and I have had way too much to drink.  We laugh until our sides hurt,
poking fun at co-workers, drivers in Las Vegas, and how much we both hate the
heat, but don’t have any plans on moving.  What I wasn’t expecting in our
light and amusing conversation was the mention of seeing Cole at the
office. 
What in the hell was he doing there?  And where was I?

“You’re still friends with him
right?  I mean, I saw him at the fundraiser, but you haven’t talked about
him since.”

“I haven’t talked to him
since.  We had a bit of a falling out that day, and I need my space from
him.  Do you know why he was at the office?”

“The Monday after the fundraiser
he called to make an appointment to interview Arianna.” 
Shit, I forgot
about that.  I can’t believe he actually went through with seeing
her.  She’s probably got her claws in him too.  Another unsuspecting
young male she can ruin.
  Just hearing her name sends my pulse racing.

“I think he came in when you and
Mr. James were in San Diego.  He was in her office for over two hours.”

Two hours is a long time to spend
on one interview.  I’ve gone with Cole a couple of times and he doesn’t
usually care enough to spend more than fifteen minutes with the subject. 
This can’t be good.  But, at the moment, I can’t do anything about it
except for pout, and I’m so over pouting for the evening.  This night is
supposed to be about getting some me time with a friend, and all we’ve done is
drown our sorrows and talk about the same thing we were trying to take a break
from. 

Feeling far too gone to drive
myself home, I rest my head against the pillow to stop the room from
spinning.  Wanting nothing more than to fall asleep, I’m interrupted by my
phone chiming several times.  Trying to focus my eyes on the screen, all I
can see is my heart staring back at me.

*It’s late. Are
you home yet?*

*Elyssa, You’re
making me worry. If you don’t answer me, I’m coming to get you.*

**You are
sooooooo impatient. I’m fine. Still with Janice.**

I giggle at my excessive use of
the letter O.  Alex probably won’t find humor in it, but he doesn’t find
humor in much these days. 

*How much have
you had to drink? Do you need me to get you?*

**I said I was
fine. I’m not sure if you’re more worried that I might have Oliver come get me
or that you’re being selfish and want to come and fuck me.**

*Both.*

I roll my eyes.  Alex is so
predictable.  My head in a daze, I can no longer keep my eyes open and
doze off on Janice’s couch; the sound of my phone chiming in the background.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

“Ely…Ely…you gotta wake up,”
Janice’s voice echoes throughout my throbbing head as she gently nudges my
body.  Through my squinted eyes, Janice’s tired face is the first vision I
see.  A sweet smile spreads across her lips as she realizes that I’m
awake.  The second sight is almost too much to take in the morning,
especially when I’m hung over.  Her vibrant red and orange accents hanging
on the wall causes my arm to catapult over my eyes.

“Good Morning,” she whispers,
heading towards the kitchen. 

With a crick in my neck, I wake
feeling stiff and achy.  Reluctantly, I release my arm and I stretch
hoping to relieve the dull ache all over my body.  “Ugh, how much did I
drink last night?”  My voice is raspy and my throat hurts.  I try to
stand, but fail miserably, slumping back against the couch. 
This is
why I don’t drink.

“WE drank way too damn
much!”  She giggles as she leans against the kitchen counter sipping on a
mug of what I assume is coffee based on the overwhelming aroma.  Finally
noticing the after effects of our girl’s night, memories slowly creep back into
my conscious.  Seeing Janice’s decorative pillows thrown all around the
room as if a tornado came through and destroyed her normally tidy living area,
makes me smile.  I needed this.

I look towards Janice and watch
the color slowly return to her face with every gulp of her morning
beverage.  “Did we really dance around like a bunch of high schoolers and
have a pillow fight?” 

“That we did.  Dang, Ely,
you look about how I feel right now.”  Janice tilts her head, giving me a
once over as I throw my arm over my face, hiding my hideous appearance. 
Thanks
Janice. 
“Then again, I probably look how I feel right now.”  I
roll my eyes.  Her hair is pinned back, dark circles encompass her eyes,
but hey, at least she’s ready for work.  A lot more than I can say about
myself. 

“What time is it?”  Seeing her
dressed in pressed black slacks and pink button up shirt, I’m somewhat afraid
of the answer.  She’s ready to tackle her day, so I know it’s later than I
want it to be. 

Janice glances at the clock on
her stove, replying that it’s seven. 
Yep, it’s much later than I want
it to be.
  “I tried to wake you earlier, but you were passed
out.”  Walking over she hands me a glass of water and three Advil. 
“Trust me, if you can keep them down, they’ll help.”

I pop the pills into my mouth and
take a swig of the ice cold water.  The coolness travels down my throat
and into my stomach, reviving me.  “Thank you, for this and for last
night.  You don’t think I’d get in trouble if I called out today, do
you?  I don’t think there’s any way I’m going to make it in today.”

“Just give Maggie a call. 
I’m sure she won’t make a big deal of it, especially with how many hours you’ve
been working.  Unfortunately for me, Mr. James needs some files for a
meeting today.  So, I need to finish getting ready since I can’t play
hooky.”

Speaking of Alex, I remember
passing out to one of his texts.  I really hope I didn’t make him
worry.  Taking out my phone I see twenty missed calls from Alex, one from
Rachel, and seven waiting text messages. 
So much for that. 
I
must have really been out of it. 

First things first, I need to
take care of my responsibilities.  Besides, I don’t think I can deal with
my personal drama right now.  Dialing Maggie’s number, I reach her
voicemail and leave a message letting her know I’m under the weather and won’t
be coming in today.  With that out of the way, I take a deep breath,
knowing that I can’t put my personal drama off any longer.  I have to deal
with Alex.  I sigh as I open my barrage of messages.

*Hello?? Do you
need me to come get you?*

*Do not even
think about driving home. Damn it Elyssa, Call me!*

*I really hope
you weren’t serious about having Oliver come get you.*

*I don’t trust
him, Elyssa. He will take advantage of you and I can’t lose you. Please call
me.*

*I’m two seconds
away from calling Janice. You’re killing me.*

Oh God no! 
He can’t break his own
rules.  Even though Janice has her suspicions, I never admitted it to her.
 
What was he thinking?

*I spoke with
Janice and she says you’re okay. You have no idea how relieved I am. Don’t ever
do that to me again!*

*Oh, and I love
you!*

Janice comes striding back into
the kitchen area just as I finish reading the last message. 
What am I
going to do with him?  I know I made him worry, but calling Janice? 
Really?
 

Picking up her mug, she sips
slowly as she clings to her ceramic life saver.  Finally standing, I join
her in the kitchen, relieved to find a mug waiting for me. 
“Thanks.”  She nods and smiles. 

Looking over my steaming cup, I
search her eyes for trust.  She has given me no reason not to and at this
point why does it matter.  Alex already let the cat out of the bag, so
nothing that I can say will make it any worse.  “So, Alex called you last
night, huh?”

She nods, continuing to savor her
coffee.  “He was worried about you and wanted to make sure you didn’t
drive home.” 
That or was he worried I would call Oliver?
 
After everything, he should know me better than that.  I’m beginning to
wonder if he trusts me at all.

Probably noticing my frustration,
Janice continues.  “It was actually really sweet, Ely.  He was
frantic and I’m sure it took a lot for him to call me.”

Feeling my face heat in
embarrassment, I apologize knowing how selfish I must look.  “You’re
right, I’m sorry.  I never meant for you to get involved.”  The look
of her generous smile is almost too much.  I really can trust her. 
“Thank you for letting me stay over, Janice.  I guess I didn’t realize how
much I drank until, well, it was just too much.”

“Don’t worry about it,
really.  Though I will say, it was odd having him call me at one in the
morning,” she ponders.  “I’m used to phone calls from him being on a
completely different level.”  Trying to distract myself, I sip my
coffee.  The warmth feels good as the liquid travels down my aching throat. 
Thinking about the mess we’re in, I’m still in disbelief he called
Janice.  “If it’s any consolation, he sounded beside himself.  He
couldn’t stop apologizing for calling so late, saying that I was his last
resort.  Seriously, he must care for you an awful lot.  I’ve never
seen him even blink at another woman in the past two years.” 

I nod as tears start to build in
my eyes.  I can’t let her see me like this.  I don’t have answers for
her.  Hell, I don’t even have answers for myself.  Retreating to the
bathroom, I stare at the blank reflection in the mirror.  Grasping the
edge of the sink, I attempt to pull myself together. 

It’s difficult to wrap my heart
around his recent behavior.  At the beginning of our relationship I
worried that he’d always keep me his dirty little secret.  But, in reality
there was never anything dirty about us.  What we had…what we have is
special and although his past is completely out of the norm, my heartstrings
are telling me that it’s okay to feel hopeful again.  However, I am afraid
to let myself continue down this road.  Alex called Janice.  He
risked someone knowing about us just to find out if I was asleep on the couch
and not in Oliver’s bed.  Maybe keeping us a secret is not of concern to
him any longer.  Now that Arianna knows, is there anyone else to keep our
secret from?  Wiping away my escaped tears, I know that I won’t find any
answers in here.  Washing my face, I head back to Janice, and to the
awaiting day.

After talking for a brief moment,
we make our way to our cars.  “Let’s do this again.”

I laugh.  “How about asking
me when my head isn’t throbbing?”  She smiles and nods as she gets into
her car.

Knowing she’s headed towards
Alex, it’s hard to watch her leave.  Knowing the place we’ve put her in, I
hope she can handle it.

~~~~~

Knock! Knock! Knock! 
The pounding against my door
vibrates straight to my aching head.  Even after a few hours of sleep, I’m
still not feeling myself. 
How much did I really drink?
  The
pounding repeats, this time with more force.  Half expecting to see Alex,
I drag myself to the front door, bracing myself for another torturous showdown.