Clash (10 page)

Chapter Twenty

Dylan

I was so wrapped up in my conversation with Seth I hadn’t noticed how much time slipped by since Payton left. It was mall security, followed by a crowd of people, that caught Casey’s attention.

“Dylan,” she whispered as she stood up from our table and began moving toward the hallway.

Fear took over as I stood up and ran toward the bathrooms, shoving my way through the crowd. A few people pushed back against me, but I was determined to find Payton. When I was able to get a clear view, my stomach tightened and my chest ached.

She was slouched against the wall with a security guard at each side. A woman and boy stood a few feet away, and I wondered if they were the ones who found her in this state.

I stepped toward her and one of the security guards stood up, holding out his hand. “You need to step back, son.”

“No, I need to talk to her. Please, I need to make sure she’s okay.” My gaze shifted back to Payton and she slowly lifted her head, making eye contact with me.

“Dylan,” she whispered.

The man in uniform noticed she was calling me and let me pass.

I knelt down at her side and began scanning over her, looking for any signs that someone may have hurt her. “Baby, what’s wrong? Are you okay? What happened?”

“Maggie.” It came out as a whisper. “She left me, and all this time I’ve had a brother I didn’t know existed.”

She wasn’t making any sense. I was confused by what could have happened on her way to the restroom to trigger this reaction.

“Sweetheart, where is this coming from?” I sat down on the floor beside her. “What happened?”

Payton lifted her hand and pointed. I followed the direction she was pointing and remembered the woman and young boy I noticed when I first walked in. “Maggie’s here.”

The woman actually looked worried, and for a second I forgot everything she left Payton to deal with all those years ago, but only for a second.

“You did this?” She had the nerve to flinch at my accusation. “We told you to leave her alone. She told you to leave her alone. Why the hell are you here?”

“I wanted her to know,” she replied, and it only made me angrier.

“Know what, exactly? That you spent years raising her brother while you left her with a man who beat her daily? While you were safely tucked away in some fucking bubble, she was here fighting to survive.” Payton tugged on my sleeve. “You left her.”

“Dylan, please. I just want to leave.” Payton was starting to get up from the floor. “Please,” she begged.

The crowd had only grown and Payton was staring at the floor to avoid them all. It pissed me off even further that they all stood around hoping for some fucking show.

I wrapped her safely in my arms and began pushing through the crowd, without pausing to grab Payton’s jacket or the items she bought. “Move,” I practically yelled. Slowly the crowd began to back away and part. I motioned for Seth to gather Payton’s things while I led her toward the exit. Her body trembled against me as we walked toward my truck.

Once she was safely tucked inside I shut the door and hurried to the driver’s side.

Just as I was climbing up, Casey and Seth met me and handed me Payton’s belongings. “Is she okay?” Casey asked.

“Just meet me back at the house. We’ll talk there.” Casey nodded her head and Seth led her toward his own car.

***

When we got back to the fraternity house I led Payton inside, ignoring questioning looks from the guys we passed along the way.

She hadn’t spoken much since we left the mall, just stared out the window as if deep in thought.

Once I had her inside my room I sat her down on the edge of the bed and took her hand in mine. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, really. It was a shock but I’m fine.” She paused and toyed with my fingers. “I have a brother.” She shrugged as she continued to look down at our hands. “A brother who lived without John’s torture. Part of me is thankful for that, but then another part of me is jealous.”

Reaching out, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close. With her head resting on my shoulder, I just held her, allowing her to run through all the emotions today wrought in her.

Chapter Twenty-One

Payton

“I couldn’t cry,” I whispered. “I wanted to yell at her. I wanted to tell her I hated her for everything she left me to deal with, but I couldn’t do that either.”

Fisting my hands, the bite of my nails in the palms of my hand kept me above the hate threatening to drown me. “She got out and left me behind.”

“Cooper,” I said. A long pause filled the room and for once my throat burned with emotion. My eyes clouded over with tears and I swallowed hard. “That’s my brother’s name.”

“How do you feel about that?” Dr. Perkins asked.

“Angry,” I replied without hesitation. “Why not me?”

For the first time in a very long time tears began to fall. Not heavily, but enough that they rolled down my cheeks before falling to my hands, still fists in my lap.

“I don’t understand why she didn’t take me with her. Why wasn’t I important enough for her to protect?” So many questions rolled over and over through my mind.

“Have you thought about listening to her? Asking her all of your questions?” Dr. Perkins asked.

“What if the answers are things I don’t want to hear? What if she confirms what I thought all along?” I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “What if I wasn’t enough?”

“Do you believe that?” she asked.

“I don’t know what I believe anymore,” I confessed. “I know what it feels like, what her abandonment made me feel, as if my safety meant very little as long as she was able to get out. Finding out I have a brother she felt obligated to protect only makes those thoughts all the more real.”

***

I should have called Dylan after my session, but my emotions were still all over the place. I just wanted a little more time alone to reflect on everything I had gone through.

I walked a few doors down from my doctor’s office and stopped at a small coffee shop, where I’d previously parked Dylan’s truck. I paid for the first thing on the menu and found the seat farthest away from everyone. I didn’t even drink the coffee; I used it instead to heat my hands, the warmth giving me something on which to focus.

Completely oblivious to those around me, I stared ahead at the people walking by. I was utterly distracted with my thoughts while gripping the cup tightly in my hands.

The skate of the table beneath my arms caught my attention and I looked up into Maggie’s eyes.

Staring at her blankly, I wasn’t sure what to say. I knew I didn’t want to cause a scene, so I remained silent.

She turned slightly, looking over her shoulder, making sure no one was close enough to hear before turning back to face me. She spoke softly. “I just want a chance to explain. I want to tell you why.”

The anger I had been fighting to hold back overtook me. “So I’m just supposed to offer you a cup of coffee, sit down at a table, and listen to you explain? Explain to me why you left me all those years ago and never looked back? Hell no, I don’t owe you a damn thing.” I grabbed my keys and wallet from the table and stood. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to sit in the same room as you and not want to make you feel all the pain I did over those years, the times I would lay awake at night begging for you to come back and save me.”

My cell phone began to buzz in my back pocket but I chose to ignore it. For once in my life I felt like I could no longer hold back.

“Why can’t you just leave me alone? You did it so easily before. You shouldn’t have a problem with it now.” We were tucked back so far in a corner that the chances of anyone hearing us as we spoke in hushed tones was very unlikely.

“I’m not going anywhere without talking to you first,” she said. “If you would let me explain everything. Maybe we could…”

I cut her off. “Maybe, what? Maybe I could forgive you for leaving me? You walked away from your violent marriage, I understand that. Knowing who he was, I completely understand that—but you left me behind. Do you have any idea what I went through every day? I was punched in the back of the head because I put his work shirts in the dryer when I was twelve.” I took a step closer and made sure she was looking me directly in the eyes when I continued. “He beat me when I told him I needed money to buy my first bra. I had to use my lunch money I saved up over a two week period and buy it myself. I was forced to lie to everyone when I was fourteen—he broke my leg because I forgot to get milk at the grocery store. He pushed me down and repeatedly kicked me in the ribs because I didn’t know how much sugar he wanted in his coffee. I could sit here going on and on about all the times I was punished and beaten.”

I took a deep breath and kept going. “When I was sixteen he gave me a black eye because a boy called me at the house. He called me a slut and a whore just like my mom. Because you left, I got beaten. You knew he was like that when you were together, so why in the hell would you leave me there? You didn’t need me then, and I don’t need you now.” Maggie stared back at me with her eyes full of tears. I felt so overwhelmed; I just needed to leave.

I rushed from the café and walked back toward the parking lot where I parked earlier in the day. As I got closer I was surprised to see Dylan leaning against the side of the truck. He was smiling until he looked over my shoulder and that smile turned into a scowl.

Pushing off the truck he walked toward me, yet he was looking behind me. I knew Maggie must have followed me from the café.

“What the fuck is she doing here?” he asked as he pushed past me. “What do you want?”

I grabbed his arm and he stopped, yet never took his eyes off Maggie. His body shook beneath my hand. “Dylan, it’s okay. Let’s just go.”

“No,” he said. “Not without her telling me why the hell she is so adamant about following you around when she deserted you all those years ago.”

“Because I was wrong, on so many levels.” My hand tensed around Dylan’s arm. Maggie took a few steps in our direction, and Dylan stepped between us, blocking her from getting any closer to me. I loved how he felt the need to protect me.

“I found out that I was pregnant again with Cooper the morning before I left. I told John I thought I was pregnant and he beat me.” I remembered that morning. The yelling and screaming that filled the house before she entered my bedroom with fresh marks on her face.

“He told me he didn’t want the baby and to get rid of it,” she continued. “I packed bags for you and myself, hiding them in the trunk of my car. On the morning I decided to leave, he decided to take my car to work because his truck wouldn’t start. When he got in the car to leave he found the bags and came back inside. We fought and he told me I wasn’t going anywhere, that he would kill me first. He told me if I took you anywhere he would kill both of us. I was young and stupid. He had never hit you before. I thought if I left and had the baby, you would be safe.”

She was crying as she tried to explain everything. “I should have gone to the cops, Payton, I know that now. I should have taken you with me, but I had nowhere to go. I lived in shelters for three months before I found a place to live. Even then I was never in the same place for long. I slept in my car sometimes, then with people I met along the way. It was such an unstable environment. I am so sorry for leaving you with him. I tried calling a few times and he was full of threats. I thought at the time I was doing the best thing for you. I couldn’t allow you to be dragged around everywhere from place to place with nowhere to call home. I thought they would take you away from me for neglect.”

After hearing all this from her, I was only angrier. What the hell kind of excuse was she wasting?

I spoke as Dylan stood dumbfounded, staring at Maggie.

“So what you’re telling me is Cooper was the only one worth protecting?” She began shaking her head, but I didn’t give her time to speak. “I don’t think I will ever forgive you for what you did to me. He may have beaten me, but you left me there so all that could happen. You are just as much to blame as he is in this entire mess.”

I turned around and dragged Dylan along with me, curious how he even got there since I drove his truck, but I handed his keys back to him. “Seth dropped me off,” he said, answering my silent question. “Are you okay, baby?”

“I am now that you’re here,” I replied as I opened the door of his truck. I could tell his heart was aching for me as he stood at the side of his truck, helping me climb inside before he turned to face Maggie again. “You abandoned your daughter to save yourself and your unborn child. You left her in a form of hell. It wouldn’t have mattered to that girl if she had to live in a barn. She would have gladly lived in a shelter. Compared to what you left her in that would have been heaven. If you want to offer her something, just stay away and let her heal.”

Dylan didn’t wait for Maggie’s response. He shut the truck door and left Maggie staring as he walked around and climbed up behind the wheel. “You did good, Payton,” he assured me as he leaned over and placed a kiss at my temple.

Dylan gave me a sense of security I never knew existed. He made me feel the safety I had longed for. I knew he loved me, even though at first he tried to convince himself otherwise.

He was gentle and caring with me after everything I had gone through. Knowing Dylan was on my side made all the fear and anguish easier to handle. Dylan had become my rock. I wasn’t sure I could have made it through this mess if he hadn’t been with me.