Conflicted (5 page)

JOSS

The next morning I woke up naked with a warm, firm Derek pressed up against my back. Last night was mind-blowingly extraordinary. The kind of sex that you thought you could only dream up, but better. I went to move out of bed to head to the bathroom, but that large calloused hand caught my hipbone and held me firmly in place.

“Where do you think you’re going, sweetheart?”
Derek said playfully.

“To pee.” I laughed, struggling to move out of his grasp. He got up and followed me into the bathroom and stood there while I peed and brushed my teeth. He moved and bit down lightly on my shoulder blade making me elicit a moan. His fingers ran past my navel down to my core. Spreading my legs apart, he dipped his finger inside my
heat.

Breathing low and heavy in my ear, he sent
goose bumps all over my body. “I was hoping for breakfast in bed this morning.” He tossed me over his shoulder and carried me back to bed, placing me in the center.

“Fuck me,” I gasped, kissing his perfect lips.

“That’s the plan, after I’m done with breakfast, of course.”

He spent the rest of the morning making me feel like the luckiest girl on the planet. The things that boy could do with his tongue were nothing short of a miracle.

After giving up on taming my out of control hair, I decided to get up and head down to the kitchen to find us some cereal or something to eat. Looking at the clock, I realized it was almost lunchtime and we were just getting out of bed. He came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and I tossed that idea right out the window.

CHAPTER FIVE

BETRAYED

JOSS

One week later…

A week had gone by since I’d started staying with Derek and so far, it was working out well for both of us. I’d spend a couple hours hanging out with Blake and my family every day, then come back here to have wild sex with Derek every night. It was still a sore subject for Blake. However, I think he might have slowly been starting to come around. He thought I was doing this to be rebellious, but I actually genuinely liked Derek and we’d become friends again. 

Still half asleep, my mind drifted to when he told me about what happened that night in Vegas…

“Joss, we need to talk,” Derek said in a serious tone, making me wonder if I’d done something to piss him off. “Can you come sit with me for a few?”

Walking into the living room
, I sat next to him on the couch turning my body so I was facing him. “What’s up?” I asked nonchalantly.

“I need to tell you something. I’ve practiced it in my head a hundred times, but no matter how hard I try
, it’s not going to sound good,” he stammered.

“Well, out with it then. I promise to listen to whatever it is and keep an open mind.”

“That’s just it; you’re going to need to keep an extremely open mind. See, when Blake and Piper got married, I was in an extremely bad place emotionally. So much so that I did something that I normally wouldn’t have, something that I’m sort of ashamed of. I was really confused after it happened and thought it may have been something more than what it was.”

“Stop right there
,” I told him. “You’re doing nothing but beating around the bush and leaving a giant hole. You’re not giving me anything to go off of here, so just spit it out. You’ll feel better, I promise.”

“I had a threesome, with a guy and a girl.”

It had to be extremely hard for him to confide in me, but I think deep down, I’d already known what it was going to be. The porn, the first night doing the ass play, all signs pointed in that direction. My question was how deep did this run? Was he bi?

“We all experiment with different things, Derek. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. I mean, you’ve been on the road for almost 10 years
. I’m surprised it hasn’t happened sooner.”

“I’ve done it with more than one girl at a time, but never a guy.”

Taking in a deep breath, I asked the hard question. “Are you bi?”

“No!” He all but shouted
it.

“Okay, end of discussion then. Unless you want to keep talking about it?”

“I’m good. I just needed to tell someone. It’s been eating at me since it happened. I’m not ready to tell the guys yet, so please don’t say anything.”

“Your secret
’s safe with me. Seriously, Derek, I’ve known about the other one for how many years now? And I’ve never breathed a word. Relax.”

A phone ringing in the distance brought me back to present. Derek quickly turned the
ringer of his phone off and I knew right away that it was Tyler. That asshole was still harassing him constantly. I didn’t know how Derek could even question his sexuality, but it was undoubtedly from the brainwashing Tyler was trying to do. At least that’s what it seemed like. I couldn’t quite peg what Tyler was after, either. I wasn’t sure if it was money, or if he actually wanted Derek. Either way, Derek wasn’t interested and this asshole wasn’t taking the hint. The messages were becoming increasingly more frequent too.

I was trying to think of a way that I could make him back the fuck off. I
hadn’t expected to become so territorial of Derek, but I was, and my claws were sharp. We all make mistakes, but they’re the learning experiences that make us who we are. I decided to ignore it in hopes he would want to talk about it later.

“Morning, gorgeous,” Derek said, kissing my forehead. He must have been up for a while since his teeth were brushed and his hair was still wet.

“Hey, handsome. What time is it?” My voice was still raspy from sleeping.

“It’s early. I have some stuff that I need to get done. You can go back to sleep for a bit if you want. I’ll come get you up later.”

After falling back asleep for a little while, I woke up refreshed. Taking my time, I showered and got dressed before making my way downstairs. I was surprised to see Jake sitting at the kitchen table talking to Derek.

“Morning, Joss,” he said, looking at me knowingly
and making me blush. The fact that Jake knew that Derek and I were doing the horizontal tango made me feel slightly uncomfortable, but all I could think about was Derek’s hands all over me.

Wishing I could make a retreat upstairs, I froze in place. “Hey, Jake.”

Derek patted his knee, and I walked over and took a seat. “Jake was just telling me that the Crystal Parker House is going to be ready for its grand opening in a few weeks. He was thinking of trying to put a benefit concert together to raise some more money and get publicity.”

“That’s an awesome idea!” I shrieked.

“Whoa, killer,” Derek laughed.

“I have to admit it’s weird seeing you guys together, but if I’m being brutally honest, I kinda like it,” Jake laughed.

I’d always had a weak spot for Jake. He was my first crush growing up. When he lived with Blake before they moved to LA, I made up every excuse under the sun to go over there and try to get his attention. It never worked because he thought of me like a sister. Thank all that’s holy that Derek didn’t see me that way, since it would mean that I would have to miss out on the best sex I’d probably ever have.

“Just let me know the dates and such. I’ll make sure I have everything in order,” Derek said proudly.

“Thanks, man.” Jake stood up to leave. “See ya around, Joss.” He winked, making my heart do a little flip. Involuntary, of course. 

Derek went all caveman and tossed me over his shoulder, carrying me back upstairs and tossing me onto the bed, crawling in between my legs.

“Looks like somebody got bit by the jealous bug,” I teased.

“I told you Joss
. I’m gonna fucking own you for as long as you’ll let me.”

I felt the sincerity in his deep blue gaze and surrendered myself over to him.

“Hearts break when you’re sentimental,” I told him. It was the truth, too.

“Oh sweetheart, I’m not being sentimental,” he said
, stripping out of his boxers and revealing his perfect piece of manhood. It was the perfect amount of everything. It was long enough to hit the deepest spot inside of me, and thick enough that he stretched me just to the point where pain became pleasure. I pumped him a couple times before sliding my thong off and tossing it beside the bed. Lining himself up with my entrance, he pushed forward and filled me balls deep in a single thrust. His muscular arms encased me and we got lost in our little world.

After getting cleaned up, I decided that I needed to run some errands and get out of the house for a little while. The sun was shining
and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. Blake had loaned me his Mustang for the rest of my trip, so I dressed in jeans and a t-shirt before heading downstairs. Derek was sitting at his drum kit banging away, with sweat dripping down his forehead. I needed to make a quick exit before I went and jumped him again. He looked so fucking sexy sitting there in the zone. His lips slightly parted and all man.

“See ya, handsome,” I said, blowing him a kiss.

“Have fun, sweetheart.” He winked, making my stomach flutter, though it was more like a full somersault. The attachment that I was trying my best to avoid was fighting its way to the front line. It was happening whether I wanted it to or not.

Making my way down the driveway, I climbed into Blake’s shiny, black Mustang and turned the key, slightly jumping as its massive engine roared to life. I slowly made my way around the main house
and through the gates. Once they were closed safely behind me, I put the pedal to the metal and decided to call my best friend, Kelly, since I hadn’t talked to her since I’d arrived and she was more than likely chomping at the bit for details.

“If it isn’t my long lost best friend,” she answered, at an earsplitting volume.

“Hey, Kel. Sorry, things got really hectic after I arrived.”

“Yeah, yeah, save it. How’s it going? How’s Waverly? I bet she’s adorable. I mean, come on. How could she not be
, since your brother is so fucking hot! What’s it like there? I’m dying here.”

I let out a small laugh
, picturing her practically drooling on the other end of the phone. Kelly was always obsessed with all things rock star and was jealous that my brother was Blake Potter. In high school, she was a permanent fixture at the house whenever Blake was around, hoping that he’d notice her. He thought she was the most annoying human ever to grace the face of the Earth, which made me love her even more. She was taller than me at five-foot-seven with light brown hair and whiskey colored brown eyes. We’d been best friends since middle school and would most likely be friends until we died, even if she drove me crazy.

“Waverly is perfect. You wouldn’t believe how
big she’s gotten already. It’s insane how fast they grow! As far as Smithville, I’m about to go find out what it’s like. I haven’t ventured out much since I got here.”

In fact, other than a couple trips to the minimart for ice cream and snacks, I hadn’t seen much of the town at all. From what I
had seen, it was clean and quaint. I could see why people would want to live here and it would make a great place for Waverly to grow up.

There was a slight pause
and I knew that she was registering everything I’d just said. “What the hell have you been doing then? Sitting around and wasting away?”

“No,” I said, playing coy.
“Actually, I’ve been having the best sex of my life. With Derek.”

“Derek Scott?” The salacious laugh that followed told me I was in for it.

“The one and only,” I said with a sigh. I knew where this conversation was going to end and there was going to be no avoiding it.

“Uh-oh. You’re falling for him,” she accused.

“Am not!” I defended.

“Are too!”

“We have an agreement. Neither of us is falling, trust me. I care about him and him me, but we’re just friends and that’s all it’s every going to be.” I was trying to convince myself as much as her.

“We’ll see. I just hope you know what you’re getting into.
He doesn’t exactly have the best… what’s the word I’m looking for? Reputation. That’s it - reputation.”

Anger boiled inside of me. “You don’t even know him, Kelly. Don’t be so quick to pass judgment. Do you think Blake
’s the way the rumors portray him? No, he isn’t. They sell that shit to the highest bidder and they don’t care about what they’re printing as long as it’s making them money. Derek is a great guy and he’s my friend, so just back off.”

She let out a deep sigh from the other end of the phone
and I knew I’d hurt her feelings.

“Jeez, don’t get all defensive. I’m just trying to look out for you. Relax.”

“Sorry Kel, I’m just so sick of everyone trying to judge what we’re doing. Blake had a shit fit at first and my parents aren’t exactly thrilled either, but we’re two consenting adults and what we do behind closed doors is no one’s business.”

“I’m sorry to
o; I jumped to conclusions. Just be careful, okay?”

Her concerned tone told me she was just being my friend, which made me feel
lousy about lashing out. But a girl can only take so much before she snaps and it’s usually at the people that care the most. Honestly though, how the fuck was I supposed to learn anything on my own with everyone always trying to make my choices for me?

“My heart is locked away
and the key is missing, so I’m good. I promise. I should be back home in a couple weeks. I’ll see you then.”

“Sounds
good. Take care of yourself, Joss.”

Needing to blow off steam, I clicked off the phone and stepped down harder on the gas pedal, revving the engine and heading toward the main street in town. This car had some giant lady balls that threw me back in the seat as I shifted through the gears. I cranked up the stereo, blaring Papa
Roach’s “…To Be Loved” and rolled down the windows, letting in the slightly cool air. I was feeling free until I noticed the red, white, and blue behind me. Funny how they’re colors of freedom until they’re flashing behind you. Turning the music down, I adjusted my shirt, ensuring ample cleavage, and rolled my window down the rest of the way.

I looked up at
the officer, putting my hand above my eyes to block the sun.

“Afternoon, ma’am. License, registration, and insurance.”

He was stunning. Like panty bursting goodness in a uniform.
Shit, I sound like a slut.
I’m not a slut. I just love love. I reached into the glove box and got the paperwork, handing him my license. His shaved head and clean face were a model’s dream.

“Ms. Potter, is this your husband’s car?”

“My brother’s,” I replied quickly.