Dreams of a Virgin (14 page)

I got dressed and left. I tried to put this
behind me. Peter didn’t need to know. If she was like this, how was
this marriage going to work?

The next day, I arrived at the chapel with
mixed emotions. I buried the feelings from the previous night to
support Peter.

Peter and I stood before the crowd. The
ushers met and escorted the bridesmaids. I met and escorted Wendy.
Morgan walked down the aisle, wearing an off-the-shoulder wedding
gown. She winked at me as she passed. The ceremony proceeded with
no problems.

At the reception, nothing was out of the
ordinary. DJ playing music, lots of alcohol, friends and family
from everywhere. As they started the bridal dance, I was handing
out shots as they waited in line. When the line reached the end, I
did a shot and danced with Morgan.

“Last night was great, Jeff. You didn’t tell
him, did you?”

“No. You?”

“Nope. It’s just our little secret.”

As the night progressed, there was more
dancing and more drinking. The time came for Morgan to throw the
bouquet. The crowd of single women pushed and shoved as it flew
through the air. At the end, Wendy wound up with it.

After that, Peter dropped to his knees to
remove the garter with his teeth. I was placed in front of the
group of single men. Little did I know that Peter and the DJ had
set me up. The DJ directed him, and he threw it right at me.

Next thing I knew, they were making me crawl
across the floor to slip it on Wendy’s leg. She was sitting on the
other side of the dance floor. I was a little bit shy about this;
she was not. She pulled up the dress, showing a good bit of leg.
Hesitantly, I crawled to her. I slipped it on, about two inches
above the knee.

I had gotten to know Wendy over these past
few months, through the planning, rehearsal, and all. I had grown
to like her. I thought the feeling was mutual.

The rest of the night, whenever a slow song
came up, I asked her to dance. The more we danced, the closer we
got. As the newlyweds left, I offered to give Wendy a ride home.
She accepted.

As she unlocked the door, she asked me to
come inside.

“Whew! I’ve been waiting to take this off all
night.” I heard a zipper being undone. “I bet you feel the same
way.”

In my mind, I was thinking, “Yeah. I’ve been
waiting for you to take that off too.” Thank God I didn’t say that
out loud. Then, I realized that she meant me taking off my tuxedo.
“Yeah.” I took off my jacket.

As she walked toward me, the dress started to
fall. “You know, I’ve gotten to know you quite well over these past
few months.” By now, the dress was half off. “And I haven’t been
with a man in a long time.” Now, she stepped out of the dress. She
kept talking about how much she wanted to be with me as she removed
my clothing. I lay face first on the bed.

“All this must have stressed you out. Here,
let me release some of that tension.”

She sat on my back side and started massaging
my shoulders and back. Her fingers were magical. Every muscle in my
back started loosening up. Suddenly, I felt her poking at my back,
over and over, harder and harder.

That was when I snapped out of my daydream.
The pastor said, “Can I have the rings please?” I looked over and
saw Morgan and Wendy. Oh well, maybe it could happen tonight. Who
knows?

It may seem like a blessing to save yourself for the
right person. But sometimes it turns into a curse. For the other
party.

Housekeeping did their usual morning duties.
This, however, would not be the usual morning. While cleaning Room
225, the housekeeper discovered a body lying on the bed, unclothed,
blood coming from the crotch region. Her first instinct was to call
the police.

A half hour later, the forensics team was
there examining the room and the body. They noticed not only blood
in the crotch region but also a milky white substance, probably
semen. They looked through her belongings and discovered her name
was Yvette.

The body was taken back to the morgue for an
autopsy. Meanwhile, they went to the front desk to discover who the
room was charged to. The credit card on file was in my name.

They brought me in for questioning. I told
them that I had never met her before today. I did stay in that
room, and didn’t know how she got there. They let me go, but told
me not to leave town.

They exhumed the body. They determined the
cause of death was internal bleeding. They noticed a hole through
the vaginal region, and through the intestine. They found semen in
the stomach, as well as traces throughout the intestine and
vagina.

Forensics went back to the room for further
examination. Under the bed, they found a condom with a huge hole
through the tip and covered in blood. They also got samples of the
semen samples found on the sheet.

They sent the sample obtained from the room
with samples found in the body for DNA tests. The next day, the
test came back. It was my DNA.

I was arrested shortly afterward for murder.
They told me about the evidence they had against me. So, I
confessed and told them what happened.

I met Yvette that night at a local nightclub.
We hit it off right away. We danced the night away, humping and
grinding. After closing time, we decided to keep the night
going.

I checked into the hotel. Shortly afterward,
things got hot and heavy. We threw our clothes on the ground. Since
I did believe in safe sex, I put on a condom over my loaded
weapon.

It wasn’t long before we were having sex.
Thirty seconds later, I felt the rush come through me. My weapon
fired a single shot. She let out a blood-curdling yell. I stopped
and pulled out. I saw the blood on the condom and coming from her.
I saw that she wasn’t moving. I panicked. I ripped off the condom
and ran out of the room.

I told them that this was my first sexual
experience. It turned out that when the moment of climax came,
forty years of backed-up pressure shot through me, through the
condom, through her vaginal walls and through her intestine. This
caused the internal bleeding which led to her death.

A word to the wise. Sometimes it’s best to
relieve a little pressure. Otherwise, you could turn sex into
assault with a deadly weapon.

Most of us fantasize about being in a movie or TV
show. Jeff has a fantasy about being Gilligan. Here is an episode
that could not be aired.

The sun rose over Gilligan’s island like any
other day. This would be far from a normal day. Because on this
episode, Gilligan had been replaced by me.

I walked down to the lagoon to catch
breakfast. While trying to find the right spot, I stumbled across a
boat that had washed ashore. I ran back to the huts, the whole way
yelling, “Skipper! Skipper!”

When I got back to the village, after
catching my breath, I told everyone about the boat that I had
found. I led them back to the lagoon to the boat.

The Professor looked it over. “Well, it looks
to be in good shape. I will run a few tests, but it should get us
back to civilization.”

We noticed that the boat could only hold four
people, and, of course, there were seven of us. Doing the math, we
knew that three of us would be left behind.

Everyone made their case as to why they
should go back. As expected, no one was willing to be left
behind.

When the Professor came back and worked out a
plan to leave, we decided that the only fair way to decide who left
and who stayed would be to draw straws. The four long straws would
leave the island and bring back help. The three short straws would
have to wait until the others return.

One by one, we all drew straws. The
Professor, holding the straws, got the last straw. Comparing the
straws, we saw that the four to leave were the Skipper, me, and Mr.
and Mrs. Howell. This would leave the Professor, Ginger, and Mary
Ann behind.

That evening at dinner, a big feast was
prepared for the four of us leaving in the morning. After dinner, I
decided to go for a walk. After a while, I was spooked by a
rustling in the bushes.

Out came Ginger, who was following me. A
seductive music filled the air. “Hi, Gilligan.” She slinked towards
me. “So, this is your last night on the island.”

“I guess so.”

She whispered in my ear, “It doesn’t have to
be.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, a nice, strong boy like you could
survive here. What about poor, helpless little me? Who’s going to
protect me here?”

“Well, the Professor...”

“Don’t get me wrong. He’s smart and all. But
he’s not brave like you.” She kissed me on the left cheek. “Or
handsome like you.” She kissed the other cheek. “Or wonderful like
you.” She kissed me on the mouth.

“What do you want me to do?”

“I want you to stay on the island and let me
take your spot on the boat.” She started to lower the straps on her
gown. “If you do, I’ll make it worth your while.”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, let me make up your mind for you.” She
dropped the dress. As I always knew, the carpet matched the drapes.
She wrapped her arms around me. I could feel my bamboo shoot start
to grow. She took off my pants and undershorts and lay me down in
the sand. She crawled on top of me and planted my shoot in her
maroon jungle. She started rocking back and forth, back and forth.
My face was frozen with my mouth wide open.

After several minutes of this, she got up and
put her dress back on. “I’ll have my bags packed tomorrow.” She
walked away. I was still lying there in a state of shock.

After the effects of that wore off, I put my
pants back on and headed back to the hut. Just outside of the hut,
I ran into Mary Ann.

“Oh. Hi, Gilligan. I was just looking for
you.”

“Hey, Mary Ann.”

“I wanted to give you this, as a going away
present. It’s your favorite, a coconut cream pie.”

As she walked to give it to me, she tripped
and smashed the pie on my crotch.

“Oh, how clumsy of me. Here, let me get
that.”

She brushed the pie from my crotch. As she
brushed, she also stroked.

“I better get those pants off of you so I can
wash that off.” She took off my pants. She held them up against her
shirt. “Oops. Looks like I got some of that on my shirt, too. Guess
I need to wash that, too.” She took off her shirt, wearing nothing
underneath. Suddenly, there was a different type of white substance
on my undershorts.

She washed the clothes in front of me. As if
she couldn’t look any hotter, the water splashing off her chest and
the moon shining off of it gave me a new place to hang my hat.
“It’s too bad you’re leaving tomorrow. I really wish I could go
back, too. I mean, the Howells have their money to go back to,
Ginger has Hollywood, you and the Skipper have your boat, and the
Professor has his teaching. But all I have is my family that has to
be worried sick by now.” She started to weep uncontrollably.

After ten minutes of hard scrubbing, Mary Ann
put the wet shirt back on, clinging to her ample chest. She handed
me my pants, hugged me, and walked away.

That night, I had a hard time sleeping. So
many things were racing through my head.

The next morning, the seven of us headed to
the boat. Five of us are packed. The only two who weren’t were the
Professor and I.

“Gilligan, little buddy. Looks like you
forgot to pack. You better hurry up. We’re taking off soon.”

“I’ve been thinking, and I’ve decided not to
go. I decided that there is someone more deserving to go.” Ginger
and Mary Ann both ran to hug me. “The Professor.” The two ladies
stopped dead in their tracks.

“The Professor?”

“Yeah. I mean, I know the Skipper can find
his way back. But if anything happened, the Professor will know
what to do. Besides, he’s the best choice to lead them back for
us.”

What I didn’t tell them is the real reason I
wanted to stay. The way the two ladies treated me last night.
Besides, what red-blooded American male wouldn’t want to stay with
two women as hot as Ginger and Mary Ann?

The professor hurried back to pack. Once he
did, the Professor, Skipper and the Howells got on the boat and
left.

“Well, ladies, what should we do now?”

The two of them threw rocks at me and chased
me away. Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time. By the time
the rescue boat came back for us six months later, I was living on
one side of the island, and the girls on the other.

Most of us have gone camping at least once in our
lives. It usually changes how you view life. Jeff’s trip definitely
changed his.

I had always been teased throughout high
school. I couldn’t help it that I was smart, therefore considered a
nerd. Being a nerd, that put me at risk to ridicule by the
jocks.

When it came to our week long camping trip,
it didn’t surprise me that they would push me around the whole
trip. Even less of a surprise was when I found out that I would be
sharing a cabin with a few of them.

I was used to them taking my lunch during
school. Now, they were doing it three meals a day.

I counted each day until this was over. There
were classes still while we were there. Just not math, science and
history. More like arts and crafts, and nature.

On the last night of camp was a dance. There
was this girl I wanted to ask to the dance, Kallie. The night
before, I got up the courage to finally ask her.

Of course, there were the jocks, standing
right behind me. Just as I was about to ask her, they pantsed me.
Everything was exposed. As they laughed at me yet again, I ran
away, embarrassed as never before.