Fallen Desire (2 page)
Authors: N. L. Echeverria
His face is full of doubt and strain just like in my dream. He seems unsure of something, his internal battle written all over his face for anyone to see. His hands remain in the pockets of his black jeans showing me the signs of someone scared or uncertain. I want so much to hold him and comfort him and tell him that it’s okay, just like I felt in the dream but there’s no possible way this is the same guy. I don’t know him and I still don’t even know if this is real or not but I take a chance and speak because I’m getting the feeling if I don’t say anything he may change his mind about approaching me and just take off.
“Did you just call my name? I’m not sure I know you.” Even though I feel like I know him very well. I know him from my dream, I know his touch and that it gave me so much pleasure and has haunted me all day filling my body with heat.
“I’m Ethan. I’m new in town, and know some of your friends. They mentioned you, and well I recognized you by how they described you, sorry if I startled you.” He stands facing me with his hands still in his pockets as his eyes move to the ground and back to me.
“You didn’t startle me. It’s just that I don’t usually run into anyone on my way home. Do you live around here?” This person is real although I’m not positive it’s the same guy I dreamt about. It must just be a coincidence. I can’t believe this. My heart’s racing, my face feels flushed, and my breathing quickens, but I’m doing all I can to control it. My cheeks are hot and most likely red.
“Yeah, I live just a ways down the street here. Actually I better get going; I turn down this road to get home.” He points down a road that almost seems too small for a car, and I’m sure I’ve never seen anyone coming or going from it.
“I hope I see you around, Lindsay.” His expression changes and he no longer looks like the shy boy staring at the ground. He towers above me just like in my dream, and his eyes are gazing right into mine holding my attention. I think I’ve stopped breathing. His hands drop from his pockets and he reaches up and brushes his finger down my left cheek, I shiver at his touch. I have just forgotten everything I know about reality.
“Um, I hope so too.”
He starts walking off down the side street, and I watch him for a moment taking in his gorgeous appearance even from behind. Did this just happen? I’m so flustered that I’m not sure what’s going on. I turn to walk and then look back to take one more glimpse of my sexy stranger but he’s gone. Where is he? How did he disappear so fast? Why am I so captivated by him? I’ve never been this drawn to anyone in my life. How can he be real when he was in my dream last night? I don’t even care. I just want to see him again. I want so much for him to come back and grab me like he had before. Well, like he had in my dream. I need his lips on me and his hands touching me, making me feel complete. Wait! I need to stop. It isn’t right to feel this way about someone I don’t even know. It’s just that he seems different, different from anyone I’ve ever met. His eyes are dark and enigmatic, filled with an anguish and history that I need to learn about. I need to know everything about him, even his secrets, maybe especially his secrets. He fascinates me and his eyes captivate me.
While all these thoughts are running through my head, I’ve somehow made it home. I realize I need to get myself together. Walking into my house, I notice my mom in the kitchen, her hair still in its perfect bun, but she’s already changed out of her suit and into something a little more comfortable.
“Hi Mom, how come you’re home early today?” Usually I have an hour or so to myself before my parents get home.
“Your dad was doing some paperwork that I couldn’t really help him with, so I figured I’d come home and maybe spend some time with my daughter. What do you say, would you like to take a trip to the mall and get those summer clothes you have been asking for?”
I don’t really feel like going out. I just want to lie down and think about Ethan and contemplate the next time I might see him. I want to think about his touch, his smell and imagine those beautiful black eyes that see into my soul. I want to feel the desire for him that lingers in my body burst out at the most inappropriate times. I know my mom will be hurt if I don’t spend some time with her though and I probably shouldn’t turn her down to fantasize about some guy I barely know. “Sure Mom. That would be nice. I have wanted some summer dresses and a couple of new outfits.” I guess it would be nice; it’s always a good time to go shopping. Who doesn’t like to get new clothes and maybe it will actually help take my mind off of him, time for a little reality. “I’m going to head upstairs and get my book bag put away and then I’ll be ready to go.”
As I’m walking up the stairs his image flashes in my mind again and suddenly I’m exhausted from all the emotions flowing through me. I open the door to my room and toss my book bag down on a small white chair at my desk. I flop down tummy first and face down on my large comfy bed that’s covered with green and white fluffy pillows and a down comforter. It’s like from the moment he appeared in my dreams he’d taken control of my body, my mind and definitely my emotions. How can it be that this one person that I don’t even know can have so much power over me? I just need a moment to lie down and clear my mind. I close my eyes replaying the earlier moment when I encountered Ethan. I let the silence of my room take over.
TWO
“Lindsay.” His voice, again! There’s no way he’s in my room, I must be dreaming or hearing things. I bury my face further into my pillows hoping it will help me to forget about him. “Lindsay, it’s me Ethan.” I jump up surprised and a little frightened as I’m pretty sure I’m no longer imagining him calling my name. As I turn to face the end of my bed I see him standing there, just watching me with those dark and alluring eyes and an appearance that takes my breath away.
“How did you get in here? Why are you here?” I don’t know why I ask, I don’t even care about the answer right now. As I look into his gorgeous eyes, all I can think about is being close to him. All that I can imagine is pressing
myself against him, feeling him on me, heating me up and filling me, satisfying the lust that’s overtaking me. He looks exactly the same as he did in my dream. I look at his hands and my body heats up I want them touching me.
“I’m sorry I scared you. I needed to see you again. When I saw you on the street, I felt something I’ve never felt for anyone before. I just wanted to ask if you would like to go with me to the party. I didn’t want to wait, I was afraid someone else might ask you first.” I’m still startled that he’s in my room, and honestly I should need an explanation.
“How did you get in here?” I have no clue what the hell’s going on with my life. He’s only just a foot away; someone else in this situation might scream and call for help. My body is shaking with nerves and my hands are sweating but I don’t want him to leave. I want to know him, I need to know him.
“Actually I kind of came in through your window. Sorry again, I just didn’t want to get you in trouble with your mom and I needed to see you. I wasn’t sure how protective she is and I just really
wanted to talk to you.” His voice is soft and erotic that I start to feel myself relax, and once again I’m no longer on guard.
He’s so charismatic and I feel my mind and my body being drawn to him in a way that’s indescribable, and it’s taking all I have to compose myself and my emotions. Even though this moment would be awkward with anyone else, when I’m with him I feel like I’m talking to someone I’ve known my whole life. It’s just so easy and hearing his voice fills me with chills and excitement. Unbridled pleasure runs through my veins and settles deep in my gut. “Oh, well that’s kind of strange. Next time you can just come to my front door and ask for me. And yeah, I would love to go to the party with you. I’m heading out shopping right now but if you want to pick me up around seven that would work. How did you even know where I live anyways?”
He doesn’t say anything for a moment, just stares at me with passion and frustration in his eyes, making me feel a little nervous. I’m not sure if he’s avoiding my question or just doesn’t know how to answer. He moves in closer, and I’m not sure what he’s going to do. All I can imagine in this moment is his touch on my body and the feeling of him pressed against me filling me with pleasure. He reaches out and touches my face gently with his velvety hand holding the side of my cheek. His touch calms me, and I look straight into his eyes prepared for anything to happen as I’m sitting on the edge of my bed and he’s leaning down toward me.
“Lindsay, you are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. I don’t feel like myself when I’m near you. I’ve never met someone who makes me feel the way I feel when I’m around you. I felt it the second our eyes met this afternoon. You have to know that this is something I’ve never experienced in my lifetime.” He leans in, and his lips press against mine. His kiss is smooth and satisfying, just as it was in my dream and only leaves me craving more. He slowly starts to pull away, and I feel myself holding his waist almost pulling him back. When I realize what I’m doing, I quickly let go, feeling embarrassed. My face and body begin to heat up and I know my cheeks are bright red. I can feel them burning.
“I’ll see you at seven tonight, Lindsay.” Then he’s gone climbing down back out my window and disappearing.
What is happening to me, why does this man have such control over me? I sit on my bed with my knees tucked into my chest taking in what just happened. It feels like a dream. Is this how it is when you meet the one person you’re supposed to be with? I don’t know anything about him or where he comes from and here he is in my room kissing me and I don’t want him to stop. If I were ever to believe in love at first sight, it would be now. “Pull yourself together Lindsay.” I whisper to myself hoping that saying it out loud will help clear my head somehow. I need to get ready to go shopping. I go to the full-length mirror hanging on my bathroom door and touch up my mascara and the rest of my makeup. My hair looks nice or at least as nice as it can look, so I let it just hang straight down my back and head down
stairs to address my mom and prepare mentally for the mall and the idle chat that we’ll most likely be having, it keeps us entertained and hopefully it will keep me from fantasizing about Ethan.
“I’m ready to go if you are mom.”
She turns to me with a questioning look. “Yes I’m ready. You okay, sweetie? You look a little shaken up.”
I am not fine but
what can I say? “Yeah, I’m okay. Let’s go.” I don’t even know what’s happening to me. This stranger comes into my life first in a dream where he’s sexually desirable and then he appears to me in real life. I need to talk to him. I need to find out who he is and where he came from. I want to know more so I can understand why my feelings are so extreme. He even said he felt different when he was with me. What does that even mean? How can we not know each other and still get these strong feelings when we’re together and have it be mutual? The trip to the mall went well. I was able to get a few summer dresses and a couple pairs of shorts and T-shirts. My mom was pleasant to be around, and I enjoyed spending time with her.
She always goes on about how good for dad’s career this move was. He’s running the new firm; this was the opportunity he had been working so hard for. She got onto the subject of boys and asked if I had met anyone nice. I told her that Derrick from school was a good friend but nothing more than that. I wasn’t going to tell her that I’m pretty sure he has a crush on me. Of course I didn’t mention how extremely cute he is. We ended up picking up some Chinese food to take home with us. Dad should be home soon, he’ll be ready to eat after the long day at the office and I’m starving after walking around the mall all afternoon. Dad was already home when we walked in the door, he looked exhausted as usual but was happy to see us.
“Lindsay, how was your last day at school, any big plans for the summer?”
“The day went by fast and no I plan on just taking it easy this summer. Oh, a friend did invite me to this party to celebrate the end of the school year and I was wondering if I could go. He’s picking me up at seven if that’s okay.” I reply.
“He? Who is this boy?”
“Ethan. I know him through my friends at school.” That is such a lie; I don’t know him at all. All I know is his name, how unbelievably drawn toward him I am, and how I fantasize about him every moment of the day.
“Alright, well as long as I can meet him before you guys head out then I guess it’s alright since you will be with your friends.”
I smile in return, containing my excitement. “Thanks Daddy.” I’m surprised that my mom doesn’t ask me why I didn’t mention him while she was questioning me at the mall. She just looks at me
with a smile. Could she see something in my face? I hope my excitement isn’t giving too much away. I really don’t want my parents to think that they need to have
the talk
with me.
Being seventeen it’s a little too late for the talk. I might be a virgin but I already know enough. During dinner, mom and dad talk about some high profile case he’s working on and the new attorneys he had working for him. I just wanted to eat as fast as I could and get ready for Ethan to pick me up. He’s all I can think about – his smell, touch and the way that he looks at me with those deep dark piercing eyes that feel like they reach my soul every time. Once we’re finished with our meal, I get permission to go to my room. I want to look nice tonight – well not just nice but alluring, appealing. I can tell that Ethan is already attracted to me, but a cute little dress can’t hurt.