Fangs Rule (4 page)

Rooms where you can walk and play as if it was the outdoors in daylight, dayrooms have walls which are giant screens so that the outside would is brought to life for us, minus the dangerous UV. You can book a visit and a number of different days are available, such as a picnic on the beach to watch the sunset with friends. With today's modern technology there is very little we miss out on due to being Vampires

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All Vampires have to sleep on earth, or so the books say, well forget it. I have tried camping once and sleeping on earth was something I do not plan to do again - the same goes for wet grass, pebbly beaches, and cold concrete.

As to making out on the above surfaces, ditto, unless you are on top!

Always try and keep your meal alive when feeding, as it is easier to drink when the heart is still beating.

Etiquette is something like good manners, an example is when you have a meal with friends and they have suddenly gone organic and only having fresh food, even at a posh dinner. So there you are facing the dinning table with a naked human chained to it, still very much alive and struggling to get free, and you just know that you will end up getting a foot. Feet are yucky, not easy to bite, and you don't know if you should eat it or tickle it?

The answer is easy - the human has two feet, so hang back and watch what the Vampire with the other foot does. If you are very unlucky and get the rump, just shut your eyes and bite.

Our eyes can change color when we are angry, again it must be something to do with our species or the blood but if you worry about it then buy some colored contact lenses so you're in control.

We all have good night vision to make up for not being able to see in bright light. Our eyes are very different from humans' as we can also see heat, a kind of thermal vision like a snake. This all sounds good but at night all you can see are the brightly-lit beating hearts of the humans and personally this always makes my tummy rumble, which is kind of embarrassing.

Famula are what humans know as the Vampire undead, or sometimes what they think all Vampires are. They are in fact turned female humans, and no matter how hard or illegal it is to turn a human it looks like plenty of Vampires have broken the rules in the past, as there are a lot of them around.

They are all normally ex-pets that have got their wish for immortality, Males with their pick up line of…………"if you sleep with me I will make you immortal" (I still think it is a bit …. yuck ..of Males wanting to have sex with their food!) and now they live forever as a young undead ex-human females - the downside for them being that they get to serve us forever, too.

I was at first surprised that I could tell the difference but it comes naturally with practise, the most obvious thing was the fangs. Famula have Hollywood film style sharp eye teeth when they smiled, where as Females have fangs, that when extended look like something you only otherwise see on long-extinct wildlife….er……. normally with the word Sabre toothed attached.

The Maid's party is traditional and it usually goes on for about 3 days ……first it is cake and balloons ….. Sometimes even a juggling act…… Then it is followed by all night dancing.

The second day as the last balloon has been playfully popped by the Males …the (Cough, Cough) party gets into full swing and everything goes wild.

The Males who I may say are looking shattered now, after spending hours trying to speed the start of the (Cough, Cough) party by helping pop three thousand balloons!

Anyway Bambi my Maid looked fantastic in her short black dress without bra or panties………yes I know ……..but what can one say it is her day off.

All maids look fantastic so it is quite intimidation to see so many gorgeous girls heading to the orgy…(sorry I mean party)….that is why Ice and I normally have a sleepover and no sleepovers are not lesbian ….well …I have asked my Aunt to make sure and she says it's ok.

The Maids have all remembered what their Moms had said about how to walk sexy ……….you know….…..one foot in front of the other as if you were wearing a pencil skirt so that was it makes your butt wobble from side to side in a firm and attractive way……….. You do not …and I say NOT EVER ….walk with your legs apart as if you are still wearing diapers!!!!

As a living breathing Vampire a full blood Alpha Female I feel sorry for my Vampire maid BAMBI, being turned ……..UNDEAD ……….. the type of Female vampire human males dream of having sex with as they never age and always look like they did the day they died ……………. er ……… Should we tell the human Males that this is called Necrophilia ………….perverts!

Bambi died and got turned way back in the dark ages …..During the 1970's I think, like most of the undead Vampire girls she does not bother with panties …or in fact any underwear!

So vampires from her time have wonderful examples of Undergrowth …er…..Personal Rainforest, and like the head hair of the undead it instantly grows back if cut.

I have noticed that with some of the more fashionable maids they turn their rainforest into a pony tail and the more adventurous ones attach coloured beads or little bells……….you may ask how I know this ……..well they all like wearing very short shirts and ………..well one can't help but notice ………...especially when the beads are in day glow orange and green, and as to the little bells well they give a completely different meaning to the words having a tinkle.

My best friend Ice has shown me the pictures people have tagged me in, and yes the ones covered in blood are of me. I have a whole section on Fangbook about me but only part of it is true and everyone exaggerates my part in the massacre.

I do not have a connection to the Nest internet (or Nest-Net as it is known) as my Aunt is a little old fashioned over who I am allowed to talk with. She worries that it is the human internet and that I will meet up with strange old men, kill and eat them, and so spoiling my appetite for dinner.

Turnling fangs are the cute Hollywood sort that could with ease be sunk into a neck to allow a large flow of blood to satisfy the needs

Fangs show your status, so if you have a mouth that makes you look that you are descended from piranha fish, you are at the top of the biting list.Males with small fangs get laughed at and pointed out in the street. It is always kind to tell them size does not matter but to have sex with them is out of the question as people will think you are perverted or a lesbian, and your parents will probably beat you. Try not to even get too friendly with these poor unfortunates as they will vanish one day as someone culls them to protect the gene pool before they can breed.