Finding Ever After (27 page)

           
“Really, four and a half?”
He grinned down at me.

           
“You will just have to deal with it if you want me to let you go back alone.” I
rolled my eyes but in the end I agreed he could call and text to check on me as
often as he wanted.

           
I sent him a text the second I walked in the front door and assured him I
locked up and set the alarm behind me.

           
I was still a little on edge from the confrontation with
Kyden,
I’d had plenty of time to stew in it on the bus ride back. In the moment it
felt good to take him down a notch. Now it didn’t feel so good, it didn’t make
anything hurt less and I was still on this roller coaster ride of emotions, and
it wasn’t one of those
kiddie
rides either. No it was
one that takes you up two hundred feet and then drops you down into a blitz of
twists, turns, corkscrews and loops. Then just when you think the ride is about
to come to an end, they send you around to do it all over again.

           
I was exhausted from it, from caring what he thought. I don’t know why I ever
believed he mattered enough to worry about it. I saw this coming, but had hoped
I was wrong, that I had misjudged him. Instead he proved me right. I didn’t
need him though. I needed Bas and
Vi
. I needed Sadie,
Chris, and Shane. At this point I might even throw Ace into that mix, but in no
way did I need Kyden.

           
The cut of his words was replaced by an even deeper resolve to clear my head of
him. He did me a favor, or so I told myself over and over. After all, as he so
eloquently put it, I had a lot of effed up stuff in my life and I didn’t need
him adding to it. If he didn’t even want friendship, then fine!

           
I threw on comfy sweatpants, a tank top and wasted the day watching clichéd
Lifetime movies until I was actually embarrassed at the amount of time I lost
to the backstabbing housewives, pregnant teens and mystery murderers.

           
True to his word, Bas called and texted regularly.
Not
every four and a half minutes, thankfully. After the fifth time and I was still
watching Lifetime movies I lied and said I was practicing yoga, but he just
laughed and told me to turn the movie off, warning me that too much Lifetime
would rot my brain. I should’ve gone with something more convincing, like
baking. He was right though, if I didn’t pry myself away from the TV I was
going to digress into one of those troubled young girls that
goes
off the deep end.

           
I decided to take on the baking idea and made a huge batch of chocolate chip
cookies and banana blueberry muffins. I think more flour made it onto my body
and in my hair than it did into the actual batters. For some reason, okay not
just some reason, I was especially flustered and I took it out on the bag of
flour. By the time I cleaned up the powdery mess spread all over the kitchen, I
was past the point of exhaustion.

           
It was after midnight, but I knew fireworks would be going off steadily for at
least another hour. As tired as I was I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep with
all the noise. I decided instead to run myself a hot bubble bath. I had been
looking forward to taking advantage of the luxurious jetted tub in our, I mean
my, bathroom.

           
I sunk down beneath the bubbles and let the stress ease out of my muscles.
Getting so worked up had taken its toll on my body physically as well. I felt
the tension leave my body as the heat spread throughout it. There was almost
nothing more relaxing and soothing than soaking in a hot bath.

           
By the time I drug my weary limbs from the tub, the bubbles had long past
dissipated and the water was barely lukewarm, but it had done its job and there
was no way any amount of fireworks or commotion would be keeping me awake. I
think I was asleep on my feet before I even made it back to the bed and
laid
down. By the time my head hit the pillow I was already
well on my way to the deepest stages of sleep.

           
I had the sweetest dream that, sometime in the middle of the night, a hard,
warm body climbed into the bed next to me and pulled me into him. My body
curled perfectly into his. When he pressed a kiss to the back of my shoulder,
the cold metal of his lip ring against my warm skin, sent a shiver down my
back. He tucked his arm around my waist and his thumb traced slow circles on my
stomach while he continued to trail light kisses all the way up my shoulder.
Mmm
.
That feels so good.
And so real.
If I didn’t know
without a doubt that it wasn’t possible, I would’ve sworn Kyden really was in
the bed next to me.

           
I never wanted to wake up from this dream. Even ‘dream me’ knew I shouldn’t
like it, shouldn’t want him, but that didn’t stop me from tilting my head to
give him better access. When he took my earlobe between his lips and nibbled it
gently, I’m pretty sure I let out a feminine sigh of satisfaction, which
elicited a deep groan from him in return. It was definitely the most vivid
dream I’d ever had and I let my entire body relax into his warmth instead of
fighting it. It was also the best night’s sleep I’d had in a while.

         
I couldn’t stop the grin from
spreading across my face as I woke with pleasant thoughts of last night’s dream
running through my mind. I
laid
there, refusing to
open my eyes, not quite ready to let go of it. I even convinced myself I could
smell his fresh and masculine scent that made my senses tingle. I inhaled
deeply and let out a groan.

           
“
Mmmm
.”

           
I must still be half asleep because I thought I just heard him groan in as
well. Then the bed dipped beside me and it didn’t feel like a dream at all
anymore. It felt real.
A little too real.
Someone,
well not just someone, I had a pretty good guess who, was definitely in the bed
with me. I froze.
What do I do?

           
I didn’t know whether to sit up and
demand to know what he was doing in here, or if I should just lay here a while
longer and pretend to still be asleep in hopes that he would leave. I went with
that one. I tried to slow down my breathing and relax my body.

           
“I know you’re
awake
Princess so you might as well
just open your eyes.” Guess that didn’t work.

           
I groaned again, this time it wasn’t
out of contentment, and turned to look at him. He was on his side staring back
at me, an unreadable expression on his face.

           
“Ugh. I thought I was just having a nightmare, but turns out it was real.” He
was
unphased
by my cutting remark. If anything he
seemed pleased by it, which only infuriated me further.

           
“Didn’t seem like a nightmare, Princess.” He reached forward and brushed a lock
of untamed hair out of my face. I jerked away from his touch. It was one thing
to give in to a dream for a night, or what I thought was a dream. It was
different to be laying here in the light of the day facing him after everything
he said to me, the way he hurt me. I wanted to know just what was wrong with
him. My money was on some extreme bipolar disorder. That was the only
explanation I could come up with for the one eighty in his behavior.

           
“Why are you here?”And why did
Bas,
or any of them let
him up here? His entire demeanor changed. All of the playfulness and sarcasm
disappeared.

           
“I need to apologize to you for yesterday.” He looked away from me and ran a
hand through his already messy hair. He let out a deep breath then brought his
eyes back to mine. I could see regret in his. “I need to apologize for more
than just yesterday. I’ve let you down in a lot of ways. You trusted me with
something, even though you were afraid and instead of being there for you, I
acted like an asshole. I’m sorry that I lost it.” His apology was sincere, but
it wasn’t enough.

           
“I can understand that you were upset. It was a lot to process, and asking you
to accept all of it, all of me, was asking a lot, but you didn’t just lose it.
You were vicious. You treated me like a clingy whore you were dismissing.” He
winced but couldn’t deny that it was true.

           
“I know,” he sighed. “There’s nothing I can say that will excuse it, but I can
try to explain why.” He looked at me hopefully. I wondered how many times he
flashed those doleful eyes and got his way. Curse that face, it was going to
work on me as well. I nodded to give the go ahead and waited for him to speak.

           
“First off, it was never about me not accepting you, or being mad at you. So
don’t think that.”

           
“That’s not how it seemed.”

           
“Please just let me finish.”

           
“Okay.” I relented.

           
“I was mad. No actually, I was pissed, but not at you. I was angry at a lot of
people, mostly myself. The moment I met you I wanted you under me. When you
turned me down, repeatedly,” he grinned and I rolled my eyes. “I saw it as a
challenge, one I was determined to win. The shit with Connor happened and I
honestly thought he was just an angry ex. I agreed to be your friend and to
back off, but really I was just trying to give you time before I pushed any
more. I still had every intention of getting you into my bed.” This was
supposed to make me feel better, to be less angry with him?

           
“I know, I know.” I must not have been doing a good job of hiding my emotions.
“I’m a dick. The problem is, it’s never mattered to me before, but it matters
now. You’ve been through hell and I have no idea how to be the kind of friend
you need, because you deserve better. All I wanted to do was kill that son of
a-
“ I
glared at him.

           
“Sorry, but that’s just it, I swear and drink and I like sex. I’m a jackass and
I’m fine with that, or at least I was. I want to kill Connor and your dad and
everyone who hurt you, but I don’t know how to help you. I don’t know how to be
here for you. Instead of trying I acted like an asshole. It’d be easier if you
just hated me. That’s what I thought when I was wasted anyway, but fuck I don’t
want you to hate me.”

           
As far as apologies went it wasn’t the greatest, but then I don’t imagine too
many people are ever graced with a Kyden McCabe apology. He was being genuine
and I understood what he was telling me. I still didn’t know if I could trust
him, but I didn’t hate him. I didn’t think I was capable of hating him.

           
“I don’t hate you, but I don’t know what you want from me. You said you don’t
know how to be my friend and I know you came in here last night and . . .”

           
“And what, Princess?”
His signature grin was back.

           
“You know what. You were touching me.”

           
“Way to make me sound like some pervert.”

           
“You know what I’m talking about.”

           
“No I don’t. I wasn’t in here last night. I came in here about half an hour ago
to see if you were awake yet.”
What?
No. I know he was in here last
night. It wasn’t a dream.

           
“No, you were. It wasn’t a dream.” He had to be messing with me.

           
“What wasn’t a dream? Were you dreaming about me last night Princess?” I felt
my face heat up. Did I dream it all because he was on my mind? I really didn’t
know anymore. He really seemed like he didn’t know what I was talking about.

           
“You really didn’t come in here at all last night?”

           
“Yeah, I did. I just couldn’t resist messing with you.” His face was lit with
amusement.

           
“Really, you thought it was a good idea to mess with me after just
apologizing?” I snapped at him.

           
“Shit, I mean crap. Sorry, it’s not like that.” It was my turn to grin. “Damn
it Princess. I thought you were seriously pissed at me again.”

           
“No, but I’m confused and would like an explanation for why you came in here
last night?” I shifted my gaze to where my hands were fidgeting with the sheet
pulled up over my lap. I couldn’t look at him without getting embarrassed
thinking of the night before.

           
“The only one I’ve got is I was drunk. I felt like shit for how I treated you.
I talked to the guys after you left and worked some stuff out. I thought it
would be a good idea to rush up here as soon as we got back so I could
apologize. You looked too peaceful to wake up and like I said I was drunk. I
couldn’t help myself. I probably shouldn’t have gotten into the bed with you.”
I looked over at him and raised my eyebrows. “Okay I shouldn’t have gotten into
the bed with you. I’m sorry.”

           
“You keep saying you’re sorry, and it’s fine. I get it, but what is it you
want?”

           
“I want to give the whole ‘friends’ thing a shot. A real shot.” I couldn’t help
but be skeptical.

           
“Thought you said that you didn’t know how to do that?” He dropped his head and
ran his hands through those gorgeous locks leaving him looking even more unruly
in a dangerously sexy kind of way.

           
“I don’t and you’d be smart to tell me to fu- I mean
ef
off. I’ll probably suck at being your friend, but I want to try if you’ll give
me a chance.” He was right, I should tell him to
ef
off, but I couldn’t.
Didn’t even want to.

           
“Friends?
Seriously this time?”

           
“Seriously.
I promise no more bull shit. I’m done
trying to get you in bed, that’s not what I want anymore. Last night was a
drunken lapse in judgment. It won’t happen again.” I should’ve felt relieved.
That’s what I’d wanted from the beginning, to be friends, no complications. It
was different when I was the one making that decision though. I didn’t want him
trying to seduce me, but stupidly, it felt nice to be wanted. Maybe that’s why
his words stabbed at my heart.

           
It’s what was best for both of us though, so it was time to suck it up and be
satisfied that things were working out how they were supposed to between us,
and ignore the aching feeling in my gut.

           
“Yeah, that would be good.
Friends.”
Anyone really
close to me would know that my voice was just a little too high, and I was
speaking just a little too fast. Thankfully Kyden didn’t notice anything off.
“Does this mean you’re going to stop calling me Princess?”

           
“Not a chance Princess.” He grinned. “I’m still me. I can’t turn that off.” He
proved his point by leaning in real close, too close. His face only inches from
mine. I could see the flecks of gold swirled through the emerald of his eyes. I
could get lost looking into them. His hand came up, startling me and he ran his
fingers through my messy locks and the wide smile on his face let me know that
despite the shaky truce we’d just established
,
there
were some things that wouldn’t change.

           
“Time to get up, we’re going to have fun today!” He hopped off the bed and yanked
the covers away. I think I wanted moody Kyden back. I tried to pull the covers
back and bury myself under them, but he wasn’t having it.

           
“This is your warning Princess, you better be downstairs in five, or I’m coming
for you.” He said, clearly enjoying himself a little too much. I picked up a
pillow and tossed it at his back as he walked out of the room. He just chuckled
and reiterated his warning. “Five minutes.” He shut the door behind him.

           
I looked at the clock on my cell phone, it was only nine.
Ugh.
Well I
would show him. I got up and pressed the lock on the door handle and then
plopped back down on the bed pulling the covers up over my head. He could just
take his five minutes and shove it. I would get up when I was good and ready. I
closed my eyes and tried to fall back asleep.

           
What if he knows how to pick a lock? He probably doesn’t . . . he probably
does.

           
What if
Vi
gives him the key? She wouldn’t . . . she
would.

           
With another frustrated groan I slid
out of bed and shuffled through the dresser drawers. The bright sun was already
peaking through the curtains so I grabbed the first pair of shorts I found and
my
Beauty and the Beast
t-shirt that had “A Tale as Old as Time” printed
across it and an enchanted rose losing petals. It was my favorite Disney movie
of all time. Belle was super smart and kind and a little awkward but she didn’t
care what anyone else thought about her. She fell for the prince when he was
still a hideous jerk because she saw past his appearances to the good
underneath.

           
I always felt like she was the princess I could relate to. I laughed
unpleasantly realizing how much more I could relate now, with the whole falling
for a jerk. Then I froze, half way to the bathroom. I was not living in a fairy
tale. I had not truly fallen for him. I needed a psych evaluation for even
entertaining such ridiculous thoughts. I turned around and forcefully yanked
the drawer with t shirts open and grabbed a different one. If that fairytale
was now ruined for me, I was going to smother him in his sleep, assuming I
survived whatever “fun” he had planned for today. I wasn’t even sure if I
wanted to know what was in store for me downstairs, but I did know what was in
store for me if I tried to hide out in here. No way was I letting him come up
after me.

           
Dressed in a
Transformers
t-shirt that didn’t make me think of Kyden at
all, I walked toward the kitchen, where I could hear the sounds of life. From
the level of noise, I would guess that I was one of the last to rise. What is
wrong with these people, haven’t they ever heard of sleeping in? Were they not
all out late last night?

           
“Cutting it close Princess. I was looking forward to dragging you down here.”
He winked and then went back to chopping whatever was on the counter in front
of him. I ignored him and went to take a seat next to
Vi
.