Finding My Way (6 page)

“Just the gum
thanks,” I say as I read his name tag, ‘Nicholas’ is printed in black ink.

“$1.40 thanks.”

When I hand him a
five dollar note, his hand brushes against mine and I think he does it extra
slow on purpose.  He gives me a mischievous smile and a wink, as his hand
lingers below mine.  Yes he is definitely flirting, making the extra
effort this morning was totally worth it.  Why didn’t I notice him before
yesterday?  He startling eyes catch me off-guard when he holds my gaze, so
I blush and hurriedly walk away.

Tuesday starts off a
little better.  Thanks to Dan bailing out on me last night, I went to bed
earlier than I have in ages.  Getting extra rest doesn’t make me feel more
energetic and didn’t make me any earlier to work though.  I open the kiosk
five minutes late and there are a couple of people waiting.  I needed two
cups of coffee before getting out the door again this morning.  What’s up
with that?  I have an early night but still can’t wake up in the
morning.  Must be old age catching up with me.  At least I’m not hung
over today.

If this is what it is
gonna
be like day after day, if I don’t go out on a
‘school night’ I don’t want it.  Nah this is bullshit.  I’m not going
to lay low just because Dan is.  I decide to head over to Club Vibe
tonight.  It’s a short walk from my place so I can drink (although I’m not
planning on drinking much) and save on a taxi.  Seeing as Dan will be busy
with Jo tonight, I guess I will be on my own.

Not as many customers
today and looking at my watch I realise that this is the time I normally see
that girl, the one that looked so different yesterday.  I must be psychic
or something because I look up and there she is and even though I didn’t think
it could be possible, she looks even better than yesterday.  She is
wearing her hair
down,
I don’t think I have ever seen
it down before.  It’s long and curled, and a wonderful shade of pale milk
chocolate with highlights of red as the sun makes its way to her.  She is
wearing more make-up today, which she doesn’t need, but it does make her glorious
green eyes seem bigger.  She is wearing this weird hippy skirt which I
don’t particularly like but strangely, it suits her.  She also has this
blue shirt with the top couple of buttons undone, inviting me to skim my eyes
over her pale, smooth skin.  Unfortunately though, it’s not revealing
enough for me.

“Good morning! 
What can I get you lovely?” I finally manage to find my voice.  I am not
even concentrating as she picks out the gum and pays.  All I know is that
I cannot look away and my heart skips a beat when our hands meet.  It
takes me a moment to register that I still have her change in my hand as I
stare at the back of her walking away.

“Excuse me!” I yell,
then again, louder, “Excuse me Miss!”

She doesn’t turn
around; she must not have heard me.  Normally I would just pocket the
change and be done with it.  But there aren’t any more customers waiting
to be served and it gives me a good excuse to talk to her.  So I quickly
exit the booth and rush her way.

“Excuse me!” 
Still nothing.
  When I reach her I tap her on the
shoulder.  She turns, looking surprised, which makes her green eyes seem
even bigger, which makes me stare into them even longer.  “You forgot your
change.  Didn’t you hear me calling you?”

“Uh
no, sorry.”
  I give her the change as she shows me a different
smile, kind of shy, I guess, and says the softest “thank you,” I have ever
heard.

“I’ve been working
here for three months now, you know.  I see you nearly every day, but
yesterday was the first day that I’ve seen you smile.  You have a
beautiful smile.  You should do it more often.”  I can’t help
myself,
I feel she needs to be told.

She just stands there
blinking like a deer caught in the headlights.

“What’s your name?”
I ask, I have to know.
  She doesn’t answer right away.

“Um.”
 
Huh?  Looks like I have an effect on her too, I can’t help but laugh.

“
Um
!
 
What you forgot your name?”

“Not
um
, I
said
Em
.  My name is Emma.  But my
friends call me
Em
,
” she says in
an angelic voice.  She is laughing at me now.  I feel like a
dick!  I need a quick comeback.

“Oh your
friends
call you
Em
.  You just introduced
yourself as
Em
so I guess that means we’re
friends
now?” 
Yep, still got that ‘deer in the headlights’ look
going on.
  “I’m Nick.”  I say holding out my hand.  She
places her tiny hand in mine shakes then quickly let’s
go
. 
I am momentarily lost in her green eyes.  “Well, I will catch
you
same time tomorrow
friend.
”  Let her think about that!  I
better get back to the booth.

Before I run off I
cannot help but notice that her cheeks grow into a luscious shade of pink
again.  If that’s all it takes to get that reaction I better think of
other things to say to her tomorrow.  My new
friend,
I chuckle to
myself.

Once at the booth I
have a quick look on the train and spot her immediately as she sits.  She
looks my way and I see that she is still smiling, she is mesmerising yet
somehow I manage to give her a quick wave and she, thankfully, gives me one
back.

My day just got a
whole lot better.  I cannot wait to see her again tomorrow.  Suddenly
I don’t feel so drained anymore.

What
was
that?  We’re
friends now
?  Talk about forward! 
Strangely, I think that I should feel insulted.  Yet I don’t.  I
cannot wipe the smile off my face.  ‘You have a beautiful smile.  You
should do it more often.’  I can’t believe he said that!  What a
Casanova!

That was one of the
weirdest encounters I have ever had in my life!  I take my seat on the
train, get out my iPhone and as I am putting my ear buds in and cranking up the
music; I look out the train window back to the booth to find that Nick is
looking straight at me.  He looks quite smug.  He gives me a quick
wave so I give him a weak one in return.

What a start to the
day!  I woke up determined to start afresh and so far it is working. 
I feel good.  The train ride to Flinders Street Station is only about
fifteen minutes, and I think I smile for at least half of those.  Thanks
to Nick.  I don’t know what to make of him.

When I reach the
city, I put my iPhone away and hop off the train to start the quick walk to
work.  Working in the city, I find it easier to travel by train and leave
my car at home.  When I first started working at G & C Printing, two
years ago, I drove to work for the first few days.  Our office is
allocated only a certain amount of car spaces for staff in the building’s
basement, and being the new girl I didn’t get one.  It took ages to drive
to work with all the traffic, even longer to find a car park, and the cost of
fuel on top of that, it just wasn’t worth it.  Then Josh suggested I try
the train and it took less than half the time.  Josh, see even when I
don’t think about him, I do unintentionally.

Our offices are on
the 5
^th
floor of the building.  While I am waiting for the
elevator, Seth arrives.  I turn to gaze at him.  He is wearing khaki
pants and dark knitted jumper, with his brown leather satchel draped across his
body.  His charcoal jumper tightly stretched across his lean,
semi-muscular-looking torso.  He looks like he belongs in a fashion
catalogue.  He really is gorgeous.

“Good morning Seth,”
I say brightly, feeling overly confident due to my encounter with Nick.  I
turn back to look at the elevator doors.

“Good morning,” he
replies.  “What’s so funny?”

I realise that he is
looking at me in the reflection on the closed elevator doors.  Wow I
really am smiling!  I look like the cat that swallowed the canary.

“Private joke?” he
asks.

“No… I just got out
of bed on the right side today I guess.” 
As if I could
tell him the real reason why I’m smiling.

I park my car in the
basement car park at work but I have beat all the peak hour traffic today and
now I’m early so I decide to go to the coffee shop down on the next corner
instead of into the office.  It’s the little moments like these that I
really appreciate.  The in-between times, that gap between leaving the
house and starting work and vice versa. 
The time
in-between appointments, or errands, or whatever.
  The little
moments when you don’t have to be anywhere in particular, but just ‘
be
’. 
Especially if the ‘being’ is
out of my house.
  I spent half an hour last night searching the
lounge room for Max’s set of headphones, while he sat glued to his seat, and I
came up empty. 
Which probably means they’re in his
bedroom, and I
ain’t
going in there!

I take my coffee to
the bench seat by the window at the coffee shop I discovered when I first came
for my job interview.  It is small and old, but extremely busy, but then
again we are in Melbourne so of course it would be busy.  Even so, I find
it relaxing.  I sip my coffee and try not to think of anything in
particular.  I gaze at the many passers-by on the bustling city
street. 
People watching is
so much more
interesting in the city.  After the stress of the first few weeks in a new
job, and the misery of my home life, I am happy to just ‘be’ for a while.

When I head into the
office I see Emma waiting for the elevator.

“Good morning Seth,”
she says cheerily, flashing me a wide smile, then looks away.

I stand beside her
and notice her reflection in the elevator doors.  She’s still smiling and
she looks like the cat that swallowed the canary, as my grandmother would say.

“Good morning,” I
reply.  “What’s so funny?”

She continues to
smile and I can’t help but think that she is laughing at me.  Or you know
that feeling when you remember a funny joke and the smile spontaneously comes
to your face and you just, no matter what you do, you cannot wipe it off. 
Well that’s what she looks like and it really suits her.  I don’t think I
have seen her smile quite like that before.

“Private
joke?”
I ask her, because I am genuinely interested.  I could do
with a good laugh at a humour filled joke.

“No… I just got out
of bed on the right side today I guess.”  She says but I’m not convinced.

“It’s good to see,” I
say, because it really is.  But then I wonder, maybe she is in this mood
because of a man.  She probably had great sex last night or
something.  I know that would put me in a good mood, and I could do with
some of that myself.  But the thought that she has just had sex, good or
bad, doesn’t sit well with me for some reason.

Our eyes lock in the
reflection of the doors momentarily, as I try to figure out what else is
different about her today.  It’s not just her mood.  Her hair, yes it
looks nice, but there’s something else I can’t put my finger on.  She is
definitely happier today, than I can ever remember seeing her before, but then
I haven’t been around her all that much anyway.  So what would I know?

The doors open and we
both take a step towards the elevator.  We move at the same time and our
arms touch, for some reason I freeze.  It feels like a bolt of electricity
running between us, I notice that she’s not moving either.

“Ladies first,” I
motion towards the elevator.  She pauses for a moment and for some strange
reason it feels necessary. 
Necessary?
 
As if that even makes sense!  What was in that coffee? 

She gets into the
elevator first and I follow behind her and press the button for our
floor.  When the doors close I can see her reflection again.  Our
eyes meet and she quickly looks away.  She seems to be avoiding my eye
contact and I cannot hide a niggly feeling that maybe she
is
laughing at
me after all.

I continue to stare
at her and as she won’t look back it’s the perfect opportunity to have a really
good look at her.  She’s wearing a bit more make-up than usual, not that
she really needs any, and her hair does look lovely, I think it’s better down,
she usually wears it up, I think.  But that smile, that’s something else!

The elevator jolts as
it starts, causing our arms to touch.  I feel the electricity again. 
I can’t help but stare at her.  She is quite attractive, especially while
smiling.  She catches me gawking at her and I can’t hide my own
smile.  The look that she gives me is truly breathtaking.  I fumble
for something to say to her.

“Your hair looks
really nice today,” I say stupidly.  What an idiot!  That’s the best
I could do?  She looks away and blushes.  Yep, now I’ve embarrassed
her.

“Thank you,” she
says, “I like your jumper.”  And now she’s embarrassed herself.  I
see her cheeks flush and I can’t help but smile.  Yep now she feels like
an idiot too, I don’t feel so bad!

When the elevator
stops and the doors open, I’m disappointed.  I was quite enjoying that
ride.  I can’t quite explain it, but I feel like I have seen this woman
for the first time today.  It puzzles me that I haven’t really noticed how
attractive she is until just now.  I can feel a connection to her,
electric pull or something like that.  I don’t think I have ever quite
experienced that before.  Suddenly the doors begin to close and I remember
that we are supposed to get off here, as this is our floor.  I stick my
arm out to stop them and so does Emma.  Our arms touch again and I feel
another jolt of electricity between us.  For some reason she
giggles.  It’s a cute giggle and I find it infectious so I join in.