Finding My Way (9 page)

“Ugh… alright, how
‘bout
…  black
and red?”  Ethan suggests.

“Black
and red?
  So you follow Essendon now do you?” Dad scoffs.  Dad
hates Essendon Football Club, natural enemies of his beloved Collingwood
Magpies.

“No!  Okay, what
about black and silver then?”  Ethan replies.

“Black and Silver’s
good,” I agree and hop up to help Mum dish up dinner.

We’re having
lasagne.  I love it when Mum cooks her lasagne, not only because is it
delicious but also because she always has plenty left over for me to take home.
 I usually get two meals worth to put in my freezer, which I am especially
grateful for, now that I am living on my own.  I just cannot get used to
cooking for one!

We talk more about
Ethan’s party while we eat.
 
Then after
dinner, Dad convinces Ethan and me to look through the photos with him. 
We start sifting out the good ones of Ethan at various ages in various poses
and spread them out over the dining room table.  There are photos of Ethan
having a bath as a toddler, as a baby in Mum’s arms, his first school
photos.  There’s a photo of Ethan and me that was taken at Christmas when
he was three and I was six.  A couple of pictures of
Ethan
playing
footy, and one of him sitting on the couch with some
mates.  I find a great one of Ethan, Josh and me that was taken one Easter
when we went camping.

Ethan leaves Dad and
me, about half an hour into it, to go to the
Greenes
’
place to play pool with Jake.  In the end Dad and I have about forty
photos laid out across the table and we have told a story about each one. 
I actually love looking at old photos and reminiscing and I have enjoyed spending
the time with my Dad too.

Mum enters the
kitchen in her dressing gown.  Looking at my watch, I realise it is
already past ten.

“I didn’t realise it
had gotten so late,” I say stifling a yawn.  Turning to Dad I say, “This
has been fun.”

“Yep, it has.  Thanks
for your help sweetheart.  But it’s about time for me to hit the
sack.  Good night love,” Dad says as gives me a peck on the cheek and
stands for a stretch.

“You go on ahead
Brian.  I will be in shortly.”  Mum says taking his seat.  Her
eyes pour over the photos spread across the table.  After a moment she
says, “Wow you have got a heap of pictures here.  I don’t know if they
will all fit.  I think your Dad may have to make a bigger board.” 
She takes the photo from my hand.  “Are you sure you want
all
of
these on there?”

The photo she’s now
holding is a picture that was taken about two years ago.  It’s a photo of
Ethan and Josh.  They’re dressed as cowboys, leaning against each other,
their arms crossed over their toy guns.  It was for a Halloween party.

“That’s a great
photo.”  I say.  She eyes me speculatively.  “Mum, Ethan and
Josh are still friends you know.  Just because we’re not together anymore
it doesn’t mean that their friendship has to end.  Besides it really
is
a great photo.  Do you remember how Josh and Ethan chased Kat with those
water pistols that night?  She got soaked.”  I laugh.  “You were
so pissed when she dripped all over the carpet!”

“Yes I remember,” she
says as she rolls her eyes.  She turns and looks at me more
seriously.  “Are you sure you’re okay?  It can’t be easy for
you,
Josh is in so many of these pictures.”

“Truly Mum, I’m
okay.” I assure her.

“Well he was a part
of the family for such a long time,” she sounds melancholy and I know that she
misses him.  She had accepted Josh as her son-in-law so when things ended
I know that she felt that loss too.  “Of course Ethan has invited him to
the party… and he’ll be at Kat and Luke’s wedding too.  How are you going
to manage that Emma?  He’s their best man.”

“I’ll muddle through. 
It’s not like we can’t be civil with each other you know.”  She eyes me
doubtfully as I try to reassure her.  “Besides I think I have moved into
the final stage of grief.”

“Oh?”

“Yes I have finally
moved from depression to acceptance… I didn’t have a choice really.” I pause
for a moment knowing that my next bit of information may hurt my mother. 
“Josh has met someone else.”

Mum doesn’t respond
straight away and I know by the look on her face that this has come as a shock
to her.  Funnily enough, for me, it doesn’t hurt to say it though.

“Well, Celia didn’t
mention it.  Are you sure?”  Celia is Josh’s mother.  Celia and
my Mum made friends with each other not long after Josh and I first got
together.  They’re still friends.

“Yes I’m sure.  Josh
told Luke about it.  Celia may not know yet, apparently it’s only new.”

“Right,” she seems at
a loss for words.  We remain silent for a moment and continue eyeing the
photos in front of us.  She pats me on the shoulder. “Well, it’s a good
thing that you are ready to move on then dear.  You deserve to be happy
too, I’m sure that everything will work out for the best.”  I don’t know
who she is trying to convince, me or herself.

We continue looking
at the photos for a few more minutes, both of us mesmerized by so many happy
memories that are recorded in front of us.

“So did you hear
Jake’s single again?”  When I shake my head she continues, “Apparently
Kelly dumped him for someone else.”

“Oh
no, poor Jake.”
  Being left for someone else isn’t much fun, I’m sure,
but I’m actually not really concerned.  Jake’s had so many girlfriends,
I’ve lost count.  With his beautiful friendly nature, dirty blond shaggy
surfer hair, green eyes like his sister, and muscular physique, Kat’s brother
has never stayed single for long.

“Erin’s
pleased,
she never liked that girl much.”  I didn’t
think much of her on the couple of times that I met her either.  “He
deserves better anyway.”  She pauses for a moment.  “Speaking of… if
you’re ready to move on, I’ve always thought you and Jake would make a great
match.”  She looks at me expectantly.

“Yuck!  No Mum!”

“Why
not?
  You could do a lot worse.  He’s a wonderful young man,
good looking too.”

“Mum!  I’ve
known Jake like forever.  I could never see him that way.”  I would
never admit to anyone, especially my mother, and definitely not to Kat, but I
did have a little crush on him once.  It was before Josh, not long after
Kat’s family first moved here.  But I was young, it was so long ago and
now I’m embarrassed at the thought of it.  I would never, no, just yuck!

“That’s a
shame,
you two would be so cute together.”

“No it’s just plain
wrong!  He’s like a brother to me.”

“But you would make
great babies.  Erin and I could be grandmothers together and-”

“La
la
la
!”  I say putting my
hands over my ears.

“Okay! 
Okay!”  Mum says laughing, putting her hands up in defence as she leaves
the table.

I say goodnight to
Mum soon after that.  I place a container of Mum’s delicious lasagne on
the back seat of the car and just as I open the driver’s door I notice a shadow
move on my left.  Then a hand thumps down on the roof of the car, right
beside my head.

I let out an almighty
scream, before turning to see Ethan standing there.

“Fuck!  You
idiot!  You scared me half to death!”  I scowl at him giving him a
shove in the chest.

“Mind your
language!”  He says mocking me and then chuckles, looking very pleased
with himself for giving me such a fright.  “
You heading
home?”

“Well
duh Ethan!”
  I say sarcastically, trying to calm myself from the
near heart attack he just gave me.

“Catch
ya
,” he says with a smirk and starts to walk off.

“Hey Ethan,” he stops
and turns back to me.
 
“How’s Jake? 
I heard that Kelly dumped him.”

“He’s cool. 
Already looking for the next one.”
 
Yep
just as I thought.

The usual amount of
racket is coming from the lounge room when I enter the house.  I head
straight over to Max in the lounge room and hand him a set of headphones. 
I made two stops on the way home.  One to make the purchase for Max to save
my sanity, and the second stop was for some Chinese takeaway dinner.  When
Max doesn’t even turn his head I nudge his shoulder.

“Please put these
on,” I plead when he looks at me.

“Oh okay, thanks,” he
mutters and then looks away and back to the screen.  He doesn’t look like
he is going to make a move anytime soon.

“Now
man!”
  I yell in his ear making him jump.

I grab some cutlery
and a bottle of water from the kitchen and head to my room.  I note that
Max is opening the packaging of the headphones as I pass the lounge which makes
me grin.  Passing Kevin’s room I find that it’s empty,
again
. 
I put the TV on in my bedroom and breathe a sigh of relief when the lounge
suddenly goes quiet.

Tucking in to my beef
black bean and rice my thoughts return to Emma and the hopes of maybe asking
her out tomorrow.

When I get there the
club is already pumping.  It’s particularly busy for a Tuesday
night.  I grab a beer and head over to Tony’s corner.  As I suspected
he’s already there, Rachel tucked in his side.

“Hey mate, you made
it.”  Tony says holding his hand out for me to shake but he remains seated
on the lounge.  I have to lean down to shake hands with
him,
it’s kind of like a power thing with him.

“Hi Tony,” I turn to
Rachel and give her nod, “
Rach
.”

“Nick, come sit with
me handsome,” she says motioning to the spot next to her, batting her eyes at
me again.  I take a seat between Rachel and an attractive redhead that
seems vaguely familiar.  There isn’t much room between them both and when
I lean back against the couch not only do our hips and thighs touch but our
shoulders and arms too.  It is a little cramped but with a couple of
hotties
like these it’s more than comfortable.

Rachel’s hand rests
on my right thigh but I try to ignore it, reminding myself that she is Tony’s
girl.  When I glance at her she gives me a suggestive look that is rather
hard to ignore though.  I find it a little odd that she would be tucked
under Tony’s arm and still be making a play for me, right under the guy’s
bloody nose.  I turn my attentions to the thighs on my left.  They
are bare and as my eyes trail from the redhead’s knees upwards I notice just
how short her mini-skirt is.  My eyes linger as I can almost see up that
short-short skirt but when the legs move a little I let my eyes drift a little
higher.

It turns out that the
girl is not wearing a skirt at all, but a very tiny black dress, or more like a
strip of fabric that barely covers her privates.  She is very curvy with
really large, barely contained, breasts.  Her skin is pale and lightly
freckled.  Her skinny little hand touches my chin and pulls my head up to
meet her face.

“Hey Nicky, long time
no see,” she says to me when I look her in the eye.  I cannot for the
life of me remember where I know her from.  “It’s good to see you again.”

“Yeah
you too gorgeous.”
  I have absolutely no idea what her name is, at
least by calling her gorgeous it doesn’t seem to matter.  I take a long
pull of my beer and polish it off.  When Rachel’s hand starts to move up
my thigh I turn to the redhead, “You
wanna
dance?”

“Sure.”  She
smiles at me, so I stand grab her hand and pull her to the dance floor.

I get an overwhelming
feeling of déjà vu when we start grinding on the dance floor.  I know I
have danced with this girl before.  When I look at her full red lips as
she makes and O shape with her mouth I remember doing a lot more than dancing
with her.  I feel like an absolute dick that I can’t remember her name
though.

After a few
dangerously dirty dances with the girl I am completely aroused and she knows it
as we squeeze together.  She rubs on me in such a way I think I may come
at any moment.  She obviously realises that too.

“
Wanna
go?” she whispers in my ear and motions towards the exit.

I nod in
response.  She grabs my hand but pulls me to the restrooms instead. 
We enter a stall and lock the door.  I push her against the wall lifting
her dress from the bottom and pulling it down from the top.  I crash my
mouth against hers as I grope her breasts.  She moans as our tongues collide. 
She undoes the button and zipper on my jeans and shoves her hand inside
grabbing me, hard.  I move my mouth down her neck and bite her
shoulder.  She pushes me away and my back hits the opposite wall of the
toilet stall.  This girl likes it rough.

And then she is on
her knees sucking me off.  She is good at it too, hard and fast, just the
way I like it.  When I am just about to come I grab hold of her by her red
hair pulling her to standing position.  I quickly pull a condom out of my
back pocket and hand it to her.  Once she’s put it on me I tug her
underwear down and push her back against the other wall.

She is quite tall
with her heels on so I don’t have to lift
her,
we’re
about the same height.  I push my way into her, pull back out,
then
slam in again.

“Harder… harder
Nicky,” she moans.  I hate her nickname for me, only my Mum calls me that,
it repulses me that she is saying it. 
“Harder Nicky!”
 
I do as she asks anyway.  I push in and out as hard and fast as I can
while standing.  “Yes… Yes!” she screams, and I realise I don’t like the
sound of her voice, it just makes me want to come already and get this over
with just so she will shut the hell up.  “Come for me Nicky!”  And so
I do.  I lean against her as I catch my breath and she continues to come
around me as I finish pumping into her.