Irresistible Fear (30 page)

Sanvi broke several more branches and watched Tavin closely. “I’m very much involved in all of this Masteema. I have been since before your creation. I was tasked with bringing Lilith back to God. I failed and now I have been given the eternal task of finding a way to end her.” Tavin was startled by his honesty. He didn’t know that the three angels were given a new task when their last one failed. Did Lilith know this? If she did, it had never been relayed to him.

Sanvi’s eyes burned with a mad fanaticism. An obsession to bring Lilith down. And finally it all clicked into place. This was the reason for Sanvi’s visit. He wanted to use Tavin to destroy his mother. To use him, just as Balon had been used.

Tavin turned his back on the angel. “I know what you’re suggesting and I can tell you now that you’re wasting your time.” Tavin wouldn’t be used as a pawn in their game. He would be used by no one, particularly an angel.

“I think you are missing a perfect opportunity here. Have you ever heard of
The Redeeming
Masteema?” Sanvi asked in a hushed tone. The Redeeming? The words caused a shiver of premonition. Tavin shook his head and turned back to face his angelic foe. “No? Well I really didn’t think you would have. It’s not exactly something that makes the round in daily conversation down here.” Sanvi joked.

Tavin bit off his sarcastic retort. He wasn’t in the mood for a verbal joust, so he swallowed his words and waited for Sanvi to continue. The angel seemed disappointed when Tavin didn't rise to the bait. He shrugged and began his explanation. “Well, The Redeeming is an archaic piece of knowledge. A cosmic loophole, if you will. Not something that is well known, even among my kind. In the entire life span of heaven and hell, I can’t recall it ever having occurred. It is truly a miraculous event, but one I feel you are a prime candidate for, given your new found ‘passion.’”

Tavin wanted to strangle the cocky angel. He was being deliberately evasive in order to entice Tavin’s interest. And as much as he hated to admit, it was working. “When the demons were created by Lilith, God ensured that there was a ‘stipulation.’ Demons are our natural balance, of course. The evil to our good, the yin to our yang.” Sanvi chuckled at what he felt was a very witty joke. Tavin rolled his eyes and cleared his throat, indicating that he was anything but amused.

Sanvi didn’t appear concerned that Tavin’s lost patience. The angel was reveling in his control of the situation. “Please, get to your point.” Tavin’s voice was strained. Sanvi’s eyes took on a menacing light. “And miss the opportunity for a good story? I think not.”

Sanvi situated himself on the ground, spreading his white over coat underneath him. He patted the ground beside him. “Please brother, have a seat.” Tavin sat down unceremoniously, anything to get the angel talking. This was taking too long already and he needed to be devoting his time to developing a plan to save Emily.

“So the stipulation…” Sanvi began. “God had an idea that every demon could possess the ability to turn aside their nature. It pained God to think of the possibility of complete evil. Everything should have the option for goodness. So The Redeeming was born. The Redeeming occurs when a demon, like you, puts aside their very nature and sacrifices themselves for the greater good. This show of complete unselfishness demonstrates the primal deviation from the evil that occurs within a being such as you. I mean, demons aren't exactly known for their warm fuzzies.” Sanvi grinned. Tavin ground his teeth. Sanvi cocked an eyebrow and continued. “When this happens, a being of the dark can ascend from hell to become…’
Redeemed
.’” Sanvi unfurled his arms in a dramatic flourish. He obviously enjoyed being the center of attention. Angels were so egocentric. The whole 'created by god for the good of all' thing clearly went to their heads.

Tavin simply stared at the angel. “Are you serious? This is what you came down here to tell me? About some silly legend that you feel somehow applies to me? Do you even understand who you are dealing with? I’m not some naïve novice who will jump through hoops to help you because of some illogical story. I’ve been around since the beginning of my kind! I’m as likely to be 'Redeemed' as you are to fall…brother.” Tavin’s voice dripped with derision.

Sanvi’s eyes flashed an unsettling red. How funny, Tavin thought. It was a common misconception that a demon’s eyes glowed scarlet as the fires of hell. Sanvi could easily be misconstrued as a demon given the uncanny redness of his eyes. Tavin’s incredulous response angered the angel. The air around them shimmered with his rage and Tavin became aware of how precarious his position was.

Tavin felt the weakness in his body, a reminder of how close he was to fading into the oblivion. Sanvi’s eyes seemed to penetrate his every defense and he knew that the angel could see how weak he was. “Hmm. How quickly you disregard what I’m telling you, given how close you are to losing everything. Desperate times require desperate measures don’t you think? We are very aware of your situation…what is it she calls you…Tavin?”

Tavin’s anger rose to meet Sanvi’s. “I believe you’ve said what you’ve come here to say. It’s time for you to leave.” Tavin got to his feet, prepared to send Sanvi out of the Abyss, physically if necessary.

Sanvi laughed a loud, deep laugh. Tavin felt as if he were being indulged by a kindly uncle. “Oh Masteema. You are so defensive. I have come here to help you. Truly. You haven’t even allowed me to get to my point. Demons really have no manners.” Sanvi deftly got to his feet, a graceful series of movements. “I know you love her, you reek of it. It’s quite beautiful really. A demon that has learned to love. Who would have thought it possible?” Sanvi chuckled again.

“The reality is you will disappear, be lost to her forever. You will leave her open to Lilith’s inevitable attack. You are essentially writing her death warrant. Do you want that to happen?” Sanvi looked at him. Tavin refused to answer, didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing how much that distressed him, how that very thought drove him to an overwhelming panic.

“Of course you don’t Masteema. That’s why I’ve come to you. You have an opportunity here. You have the chance to be with her. Forever! Though forever is a lot more concrete to mortals. You see, we angels have a lot more accessibility to the human race. We aren’t as tied to inter dimensional boundaries. You could see her, be with her, and even touch her. Think about it. You could have everything you’ve ever dreamt of. All you have to do is sacrifice yourself; be a hero. Ride to the rescue on your gallant steed. A knight errant to save his lady.” Sanvi galloped around him, laughing loudly.

Tavin couldn’t help but imagine the possibility. Having the chance to be with Emily. To not have to say goodbye. To know what it was like to truly hold her, kiss her, to be with her. It was too much to even imagine. Something he had never allowed himself to think of because it was completely outside the realm of possibility. But here Sanvi was, telling him it
was
possible. He only had to find a way to sacrifice himself, so he could become one of
them
.

Tavin shook his head. What a crazy thought! Tavin felt the small prickle of hope. Could it happen? He knew he was willing to sacrifice anything for Emily. If there was any way he could stay with her, he would give up everything. But…what was the catch? There was more to this and he wanted to know what it was. There was no way an angel would traipse through the planes to simply give him this bit of information without wanting something in return.

Angels didn’t work that way. They were a long way from being the beatific creatures of human folk lore, providing support and guidance to the down trodden and needy. Angels were ruthless, merciless in their own advancement and procurement of what they considered to be, the greater good. This particular angel who stood in front of him was one of the most brutal. The laundry list of his vicious actions was enough to make a demon take notice. He had tortured and raped Tavin’s mother for days in an attempt to secure her cooperation.

Many angels used whatever means necessary to meet their ends. This angel was no different. He wouldn’t give something without expecting something in return. Sanvi’s eyes gleamed. “Of course, this information comes at a price, brother.” Tavin clenched his fists, resisting the urge to punch his face.

“Isn’t there always a price…brother?” Tavin spit at the angel’s feet, showing his disgust. Sanvi slowly wiped his shoe and laughed. “You are right Masteema. Your reputation is legendary. You are Lilith’s first born, her favorite, and thus our best chance at exposing her vulnerability. Honestly, we never thought we would get an opportunity like this. We're practically bubbling over with excitement.” Sanvi wiggled his fingers in sarcastic enjoyment.

“She is weak when it comes to you. Her feelings for you are the closest she herself can come to experiencing legitimate affection and love. This is what we can use to finally destroy her.”

Sanvi’s eyes were aflame with fanaticism. Awash in a torrid obsession that began thousands of years ago and had become only stronger with the passing of time. Sanvi wanted to destroy Lilith. He and his two kin who had been tasked by God to ensure her surrender, had been humiliated in the worst possible way once she had broken free of them. This was nothing more than a glorified power struggle. A vicious, bloody tug of war.

While Lilith’s powers had grown, their rage too had grown, until each of the triumvirate was singularly focused on her down fall. They needed it, more then they needed anything else, including the love of God himself. Their craving for revenge had overshadowed everything else.

“Let me get this straight. You’re saying you want me ‘Redeemed’ so that you can get to Lilith? Why would you ever think I could agree to that? There are two factors here. One, I don’t see how my being
Redeemed
can accomplish your mission. I think you overestimate my importance to my mother. Two, why the hell would I ever betray Lilith and my kind for the likes of you?” Tavin’s revulsion for the angel and his entire brood was obvious in his tone.

Sanvi grabbed the front of Tavin’s shirt and slammed his back into the closest tree. “You dare to insult the host of heaven? You are being given an incredible opportunity here, one that is completely above you and you have the audacity to belittle our offer? I should smite you now. Hurry the process; leave you to your oblivion.” Sanvi’s face was less than an inch from his own. Spit fell on Tavin's cheeks and he could smell the rich scent of the angel’s breath.

Tavin didn’t flinch. Instead he looked straight into the angel’s eyes, refusing to acknowledge the fear that was very real inside of him. Sanvi saw it, knew it was there, but there reflected a grudging respect in the depth of his red rimmed eyes. The angel loosened his hold, dropping Tavin to the ground.

Tavin slowly smoothed the wrinkles from his shirt; a deliberate action. One meant to give him time to process everything. Sanvi turned away from him. “This is why we need you Masteema. You are strong; you’ve built your reputation on something solid. And despite your claims to the contrary, we know how Lilith feels about you and through you, she can be destroyed.” Sanvi turned to face him again; the anger in his eyes had dissipated and had been replaced by the mocking glint.

“As for your other concern, being an angel has its benefits. Many of which I’ve already shared with you. Plus, you too could have the chance to bring Lilith down. After all, she is trying to kill your human, is she not? That has to anger you. Haven’t you been plotting your own methods of securing your human’s safety? How is that any different than what I’ve suggested?”

Tavin closed his eyes. Damn it! The stupid angel had a point. This was a lot to think about. As tempting as the offer was, he wouldn’t do it at the cost of aligning himself with Lilith’s perpetrators. As much as he often hated his creator, he couldn’t do that to her.

When Tavin opened his eyes again, Sanvi’s eyes were confident. He believed Tavin would side with them. So Tavin relished in quashing his ambition. “I think you’ve wasted your time. Now if you don’t mind. I’m needed elsewhere.” Sanvi’s energy pulsated with his rage. “You idiot!” Sanvi bellowed, opening his wings and rising into the air.

Sanvi controlled his anger and lowered himself until he floated in front of Tavin. “You so quickly reject our offer Masteema. I believe you will revisit this conversation and your decision will then be quite the opposite. When that time comes, you will be welcomed into our brotherhood and we will rejoice in your ascension.” Sanvi lifted into the air again and disappeared.

Tavin was left in the wake of his departure, shaken and exhausted. There was a terrible trembling that felt as if the world were being swallowed into a giant black hole. With a deafening crack, the portal was reopened.

Before Tavin could think any more about what he had just been told, he melted through the planes, needing to find Emily and to lose himself in her presence.

Chapter 34

The mountains rose in the east, casting long shadows on the ground at their feet.  They loomed like giants and their presence was palpable.  Emily had always felt such a rush being surrounded by the rock and trees that had lived for millions of years.  Emily had never been given an opportunity to really take the time to channel her creativity there.  She was really excited to go on the trip to Pinnacle Rock State Park.  It was well known as one of the most beautiful parks in the state.

She had sucked it up and paid the $50.00 to cover the gas and food costs for the day.  It didn't make that huge of a dent in her savings, but she hated spending money on anything. 

But as Emily rode in the backseat of the school's activity van, nose practically pressed against the cool window pane, she was giddy with the chance to photograph the mountains.  It was Sasha who had finally talked her into it.  She mercilessly berated Emily until she gave in.  Sasha forged Emily's mother's signature, took the cash that Emily had just gotten from the bank and turned it in to Mrs. Au herself.