Laid 2 Rest Two Halves of a Whole (23 page)

My family nor Jay were aware that I was even in town. I had to complete my mission at hand before I clued them in on my whereabouts. Do what I had come to do… before I allowed myself to get sidetracked. However, stopping by the cemetery to visit my dad first was an absolute must. I needed and required his guidance today.

I’d been sitting there awhile, daydreaming when someone approached me from behind. I knew who it was without even turning around. He had managed to find me instead of the other way around. “I’m sorry about your dad, Rain,” Tyce told me as he placed a firm hand upon my shoulder. The sound of my middle name rolled off his tongue like velvet and just like that, he was back in my life where he belonged. Our five-year absence from each other’s lives, evaporated instantly.

Nevertheless, how did he come to be here… at the cemetery of all places… at the exact same time as me? How did he know I was here?
How did he know I was even in the state?

“I miss him so much,” I said, placing my hand on top of his to grip his fingers.

“I was at the funeral. I didn’t want to start any trouble between you and your husband, but I wanted to be there to support you in any way that I could,” he said with sadness and regret in his voice as he sat down on the cool grass next to me.

“I don’t know what to say. I never knew that.”

“It was raining pretty hard that day so I’m not surprised. Everyone in attendance was soaked.”

That was an understatement. I remember just how bad it was pouring that afternoon. People stood around freezing and dripping wet, but didn’t care as they came to pay their last respects to my father. Right after they lowered his casket into the ground, the clouds parted, and the hugest rainbow I had ever seen appeared directly over the cemetery. It was my sign. The one I had been waiting for. It was my dad’s way of letting me know that he was alright… that he was at peace now.

“I still can’t believe that he’s gone. Not like that. I cannot understand how the accident even happened. I have so many unanswered questions about that morning. Did you know that my mom never had an autopsy done? I’ll never know what truly happened to him.”

“Tell me what you do know then. All I know is what they reported on the news.”

“The news… I hate the damn news. They don’t give a shit about people’s families. I had to watch as they showed my dad’s body lying there in the dirt under a white sheet over and over again. The heartless bastards! The headline reading “experienced rider dies in freak horseback riding accident”.

That particular afternoon, Joel got a call from the horse stables owner, saying that the horse he’d been riding that morning come back without him. Joel rushed right over and searched the wash by Hansen Dam, just in case he had fallen off in there and was hurt. He called my dad’s cell phone repeatedly until someone finally answered.

It was the police officer that was holding my dad’s personal effects while watching over his body until the coroner’s office arrived to pick him up. He told Joel that there had been an accident and that he needed to come right away to meet him. It wasn’t until he got to the park that he saw him laying there on the ground, draped in that damn sheet. I can only imagine what my brother went through having to endure that sight first hand. He called and gave me the news first; he hadn’t even called my mother yet. The pain in his voice still echoes back and forth in my mind.

A witness was riding behind him that Sunday. He was the one that called 911. He stayed with my dad until the ambulance arrived, but it was too late… he died at the scene. The witness told the police that the horse got spooked and just took off running. It bucked my dad off and threw him into a tree. But Tyce, the funny thing is… my dad didn’t have a single broken bone. He barely even had a scratch on him, which leads me to think that he might have suffered a heart attack or a stroke while on the horse instead, causing the animal to take off running like that.” I finished, not remembering when I had placed my hand directly over my dad’s picture on his tombstone.

“Your dad was like a superhero to me. I believed that he was indestructible. That he would swell up and turn green if I ever made him angry. He was that protective of you,” Tyce said, trying to comforting me.

“I didn’t appreciate it back then. I couldn’t understand why he was so much harder on me than my brothers. I was furious at him for so long. I wasted so much time being mad at him. Time, I’ll never get back,” I said still trying to fight back the tears that were threatening to spill over at any second now.

“Rain, don’t think like that. He knew that you loved him. I’m sure of it.”

“I’m not. I was mad at him because of a lie… a cruel and vicious lie. I started pushing him away in my late teens because of something
my mother
told me,” I confessed. I had never told another soul what I was about to tell him, but I couldn’t help myself. I had forgotten just how easy he was to talk to.

“You know she had to nerve to tell me one day that I needed to be careful about spending too much time alone with him. That I was too young to remember what he had done to me. When I tried to get her to clarify, she just told me to forget she ever said anything. She basically implied that my dad hurt me when I was a little girl. That I was suppressing something sexual. Can you believe that shit? Ridiculous right! How sick is that? My dad wouldn’t have hurt a fly, let alone one of his kids. Not in that way.

Anyways, all physical contact after that became awkward and forced since I didn’t know whether her statement carried any merit or not. Why would she tell me something like that? If it were true, why wouldn’t she take it to the grave with her? Why didn’t she protect me? Why would she stay married to him after he did something like that… if it was true? However, if it was a lie…
how could she say such a thing?

As the years passed and I became more and more familiar with my moms twisted thinking. I eventually figured out that she had lied to me that afternoon, but the damage was already done. She had accomplished what she’d set out to do. She wanted to tear us apart and drive a wedge between us…
I was her competition
. Can you imagine that? She couldn’t have my dad’s love and attention split with any other female… not even his only daughter.”

“How long have you been holding all of this inside?” Tyce asked with his voice soft and tender.

“You’re the only one I’ve ever told that secret to.”

“Rain, look at me!” He waited until I lifted my face before he continued. “You can’t blame yourself for the choices your mother has made. If you know in your heart that your dad would never of hurt you, then that’s all that matters. Let go of all the spiteful things she has ever said or done to you over the years. Move forward. Just let it go. Your dad loved you. You were his little girl, believe that…
trust in that!
” he said, squeezing my hand.

It wasn’t until Tyce left that I realized that I never once asked a question about him… about his life or wellbeing. I did all the talking. I opened up to him like a book releasing all my dirty little secrets. He was there for me just like he always was. We still had that strange connection to each other, even after all of this time. He has been and will always be someone very special to me.

This is what the flashbacks were about. They were a reminder to me that I was never truly alone. That there was someone out there that cared for me no matter how far away I lived, no matter how hard I pushed them away or even how many years had passed us by.

I think it’s time for me to reconnect with my past 100%. No more hiding in the shadows. It was time to reclaim my life... to finally recognize the woman in the mirror once again. So, how and where do I start?

Just two word, people…
SOCIAL NETWORKING!

CHAPTER TEN

W
EAVING MY WAY THRU TRAFFIC,
I drove over to my nephew’s high school that was only a few short blocks away from the cemetery and waited for class to let out. I knew my brother would be there at any moment to pick him up and I wanted to surprise them both, when I saw Joel’s black pickup truck, pull up across the street.

In stealth mode, I got out of my rent-a-car and tiptoed my way over to him without being noticed, threw open the passenger side door, and hopped into the seat adjacent from him. “Hello, little brother!” I told him after his heart started ticking again. I think I nearly gave his big ass a heart attack. I definitely caused a few extra gray hairs.

Oh well, what are big sisters for?

He was so taken back by my sudden appearance that I’m surprised that he didn’t literally take a swing at me, believing that he might be getting car jacked.
This was L.A. folks.

When the bell finally rang, dismissing the kids from school, I slouched down low in the noisy leather seat so my nephew wouldn’t see me as he approached. When he opened the passenger door, I screamed, “SURPRISE” at him, startling him so badly he nearly wet himself.

“AUNTIE,” he screamed back at me, launching himself into my arms.

I hadn’t seen my nephew since I was here in December for the first anniversary of my dads passing. I clung to him for a couple of seconds before saying, “You’re riding home with me today, while your dad gets his butt back to work. What do you say about a little stop at the video game store first though?”

His little spoiled self was all smiles as we crossed the street back to my car.

I never knew a kid needed so much stuff, but I guess I should have made myself
a little clearer
when I said to
get whatever you want
. Before I knew it, he was holding an armful of crap.
Gees!
I bit my lip and completed the purchase seeing that I couldn’t go back on my word now.

He was my only nephew.

Later, we met up with Joel for an early dinner so I could completely avoid going to my mom’s house and risk the chance of running into her. We were already seated, patiently waiting for his arrival when he finally strolled in ten minutes later. “You can’t avoid mom forever, you know,” he accused me.

“Hey, she told me never to call her again, remember. Oh, which was right after she said that I wasn’t her daughter anymore and that I wasn’t welcomed in HER house ever again! When she wants to apologize then and only then will I listen. I refuse to condone her childish behavior any longer and if I give in before she does, then she’ll continue to think it’s okay to speak to people that way. She needs to learn how to treat people better.”

“I’m just saying,” he murmured, shrugging his shoulders, use to the never-ending drama between us.

“Don’t start alright, you’ll just ruin my appetite,” I said chuckling at his easy-going ways. The total opposite of me.

After dinner, I headed over to surprise Jay next. I called him when I was standing right outside his front door.

“Hello,” he answered.

“Hey handsome.”

“Hey beautiful.”

“Whatcha doing right now?” I asked him, trying to find out which part of the house he was in so I could sneak in undetected.

“Nothing really. I was getting ready to sit in the Jacuzzi. My back has been bothering me a little bit so I thought I’d soak it.”

Yes
, I thought to myself. “Where’s Jasmine?”

“At my moms for the weekend.”

Hell yeah, even better!
“Uh Jay… can I call you right back? I need to do something really quick. Enjoy your soak and I’ll talk to you soon.”

Of course, he thought nothing of it and hung up the phone. Hastily opening the door with the spare key hidden in the plants and I panicked when I remembered the alarm, but luckily it didn’t go off.

Thank God!

I crept deeper into the house to the door he had left wide open to the pool area. I watched as he stripped down to his birthday suit and submerged his lean sexy body into the steamy bubbling water. With his arms spread out to each side, he tilted his head back, and relaxed his eyes.

Let’s play with his hormones a little bit, shall we.
What’s good for the goose is good for the gander, right?

Stripping myself down to match him at top speed, leaving my clothes sprawled in the hallway, I peeked back inside. Good, he still had no clue that I was here. Inching my way into the room, I walked quietly over to stand in front of him, but his eyes remained closed.

I almost giggled aloud with the anticipation of seeing the look on his face when he finally opened them. Stepping lightly into the water, trying not to cause any waves, I was completely in and almost on top of him, when he sensed that he wasn’t alone anymore.

His eyes snapped wide open, unsure if he was imagining me or not. I straddled him quickly pressing my fingers to his lips and whispered “shhhh” mere millimeters away from his face as I bore down with my hazel eyes, making him
my prisoner
for a change. His hands traveled around my waist to grip my butt, verifying that I was indeed, very real. “Surprise!”

He shivered with indecision; I had completely caught him off guard. On its own accord, my tongue whipped itself out and lightly ran itself along his lower lip causing his manhood to grow and pulse underneath my tight.