Laid 2 Rest Two Halves of a Whole (24 page)

“
Well, well, well.
It’s obvious that
…
someone’s happy to see me,” I said, cracking a huge smile and winding my arms tightly around his neck, finally breaking the hold I had on him with my eyes.

Cupping both sides of my face. “You can’t
do
that to me, little lady. I thought I’d died and went to heaven!” Jay said, dropping his hands back down into the water to draw all my female parts even closer to his.

“I was just having a little fun with you,” I pouted with my bottom lip turned out.

“HA!
Woman,
you made my heart skip a beat.”

“It seems to be working just fine. In fact, it seems to be working overtime. If I didn’t know any better, I would guess that my presence excites you.”

“I’m excited alright!”

“I know,” I said very slowly in my husky sexy voice, looking at him shyly thru my long lashes.

“You are so bad. What am I going to do with you, huh?”

“Whatever you want,” I purred at him, leaning in closer so that my lips were barely touching his again.

He gulped and swallowed hard. “Love!”

“Shhhh, I’m just teasing. I’ll be the voice of reason today, silly.”

Praise the Lord
was all he said as I moved from his lap to his side, removing all temptation.

Well, some of it anyway.

We sat and talked for a while, enjoying the hot water before getting redressed. Jay never questioned why or how I had come to be there. He didn’t care; he was delighted to have me close regardless of the circumstances.

I made him bacon and eggs in the morning before I headed out to the airport. “Tell Jazz that I’m really sorry that I missed her, but I’ll see her soon, alright.”

I already know what you are thinking people
.
Why bother rushing home?

Yeah, I could have stayed a couple of extra days and hung out with Jay… maybe caught up with a few old friends while I was in town. It wasn’t as if I was returning home to anything important, but it was time for my husband and I to have a serious talk about our marriage… or lack of. My heart was not in it anymore so a few hard decisions needed to be made… ASAP! And there’s no time like the present, so back to New Mexico I go.

I really hate quitting something that I’ve started, but I was sick of this nonsense. Of living a lie. I just wanted to be happy and I knew that was something that my husband couldn’t give me. We had grown too far apart and I no longer wanted to try to bridge that gap. Curious to see where his head was at... to see what color the sky was in his world today, I told him, “Diego, we need to talk!”

Okay
, was all he replied hesitantly. Those five little words always made him nervous as a result of being well aware that nothing good could come out of me saying them. I didn’t want to prolong the inevitable anymore so I got right down to the nitty-gritty of things.

“Where do you see this marriage going exactly?” I asked him point-blank with both hands planted firmly on my hips.

The look on his face was just priceless. You would have sworn that I had asked him if bacon was a vegetable.

“Uhhh… Honey, what do you mean? I know things haven’t been great between us lately, but they’ll get better soon, I swear,” he replied with the same lame answer he always gave me.

“You can’t be serious…
can you?
We don’t spend any time together. We don’t have anything left in common. We barely speak to each other… so why on earth would you assume that things could get any better between us?” I said with one of my eyebrows cocked so high it was practically touching my hairline.

“I’m trying.”

“
You’re not trying
and neither am I, if truth be told. For the life of me, sometimes, I can’t help but think that we shouldn’t be married anymore… never of gotten married in the first place. Because I don’t feel married, do you? We’re living two separate lives underneath the same roof. Sounds basically like roommates to me.
Do you honestly think that this is normal?
That everyone conducts their lives like this. I’m not happy living this way and I’m pretty sure… you’re not either.”

“How can you say that? We belong together.”

Man,
he was delusional!

I couldn’t help but shake my head from sheer disbelief. Why in the world did I even bother trying to talk to his dumbass? “Why should we stay married, Diego? Give me one reason besides our wedding vows. What is keeping you here exactly? Why in the hell do you still want to be with me?”

“Because I love you.”

“
Do you!
Do you really? If you’re not going to be honest with me, then at least be honest with yourself for once. Do you truly love me or the person you want me to be? Maybe you love person that I used to be. But no matter which one of us you pick… she’s GONE.
Long gone
. That girl you met doesn’t exist anymore and either does the woman that you married. Have you even noticed that, huh have you? Whatever you are looking for… I am incapable of giving it to you. I don’t want to pretend that I want to be with you anymore and I simply REFUSE to live like this a second longer!”

I was really getting worked up… trembling with anger and frustration. Two emotions that didn’t blend very well inside of me. I try very hard to keep that side of me in check, but my evil dark side wanted to come out and play today. “Just for the record, what exactly do you love about me, Diego? This I have to hear.”

“I love you everything about you,” he rattled off.

Wrong fucking answer.

“YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW SHIT ABOUT ME!” I screamed at him with venom. “Who the fuck are you? What happened to the man that I married? The man that paid attention. I can’t stand who you’ve become… what we’ve become and I’m so fucking done with this bullshit and to be completely honest… you’re just not worth all this stress and aggravation!” I hissed at him as I exited the room. I didn’t want to be bothered with his bi-polar ass for the rest of the night, so I slammed and locked our bedroom door shut behind me.

Get comfortable on the couch, jerk!

He was only telling me things that he thought I wanted to hear, instead of having a real conversation with me for a change. It never dawned on that clown that in order to fix a problem… you have to meet it head on. Sweeping it under the rug and praying that it would resolve itself was something beyond my understanding. I didn’t work or operate that way. If you have something to say… then say it! Or else it would never get worked out.

I was fuming when I went to bed, compiling a mental list of different possible escape plans when my head started throbbing and I found myself sitting in the middle of a job interview.

FUCK!
SERIOUSLY!

Could this night get any worse? Now I have to deal with this fool as well…
so be it.

Bring it on.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

T
HERE SITTING RIGHT ACROSS FROM
me was my old boss from that jail job that I hated with a passion. I felt somewhat sorry for him, considering I was in full-blown bitch mode with my tail and horns fully extended! Envisions of myself jumping across that desk and strangling him to death came to the forefront of my mind as he sat there all proud and mighty as if his shit didn’t stink, but in truth… he was just a
sad excuse of a man
.

“Your resume is quite impressive, Ms. Wynn. It says here that you’re currently attending graphic design school. That must be really exciting for you.”

I didn’t even know what to say to that, causing me to just sit there with my face crunched up like something in the room smelled bad. I hated this man with every fiber of my being. If looks really could kill… he would have been burnt to a crisp already. There was no way in hell I was going to waste another seven years of my life working for this scumbag. It was punishment enough to have to deal with Diego on a daily basis all because of a stupid legal binding piece of paper, but the monumental mistake I made by accepting THIS job offer…
was about to get rectified.

“Are you alright, Ms. Wynn?” he asked when I still had no response for his comment.

“I have to leave,” I said, abruptly standing up.

“I don’t understand. Your interview is far from over.”

“
Oh pleeeez!
It’s over alright. I have absolutely no intentions of letting you stare at my boobs again for the next several years. The fact that you refused to promote me because I didn’t submit to all of your sexual advances makes my stomach turn. I was one of your hardest working employees and you couldn’t even appreciate that. Why couldn’t you just let me do my DAMN JOB without all the extra bullshit? Why did you have to make my life more difficult than it needed to be? I killed myself for this fucking company… for NOTHING! Just looking at you now literally makes my skin crawl. So this interview was over before it even began, solely because y
ou don’t deserve
to breathe the same FUCKING air as me!” I spat in his face and stormed out of the building, almost shattering the glass door behind me as I made my grand exit.

All the anger that I was feeling towards my husband exploded out of me onto that son-of-bitch, but it felt good. It felt
damn
good to finally speak my mind and get that out of my system after all of these years.

I reentered my body hard this time as I sat up gasping for air… I couldn’t breathe. My eyes were swimming in their own juices as I struggled to inhale oxygen.

Oh my God. I’m dying
.

I tried putting my head between my knees, rocking myself back and forth, as I had seen on countless movies. It helped a little, but not as much as I would have liked. Finally, after a couple of moments, my airway started to slowly open back up when someone sat down on the bed next to me and began rubbing small circles on my back.

“Are you alright, love?”

I looked up at him, surprised through glassy eyes.
When in the world did Jay get here?
“I’m okay. I just had a nightmare… is all.” I said, falling back onto the pillow as I continued trying to re-inflate my lungs.

“Can I get you anything?”

“Some drugs would be marvelous… I have a killer headache and my chest is on fire.”

“How about some herbal tea instead, huh? I’ll be back in a sec. Just lay there and relax.”

Tea??? I don’t want any stinkin’ tea. Bring my butt a rum and cola!

Pounding the mattress in frustration, I laid there staring up at the ceiling in the dark, imagining all of the other things I could have said to that jerk ex-boss of mine when I had the chance.
The nerve of that man!
I should have told all the other girls in that office to run… run away while you still can. And my husband…
don’t even get me started on him.
Damn them. Damn them both, I thought evilly, throwing my arm over my eyes.

The covers at the edge of the bed moved, interrupting my rant. I looked down my body to see a large lump crawling under the sheets, moving steadily towards me.

Come on Jay.
I love you and all, but DAMN… I am
sooo
not in the mood for games right now.

That was when I felt the lump split and became two. One on each side of me. What the hell is going on? Can’t everyone just leave me the hell alone for two blasted seconds so I could blow off some steam in peace?

The lump on my right popped out the top of the covers first. “I win, I win.” Little Jasmine squealed out with delight.

My mind reeled.
Why on earth is Jasmine here to?
But before I could get ahead of myself, a little boy around Jasmines size popped out on my left. “Awww… mommy, she cheated,” he cried out, burying his head hard into my chest.

I laid there stunned... frozen for a few seconds. This can’t be. Gently lifting the little boys head so I could look at him more closely, waterworks brimmed over my eyelashes as little KJ’s pouty face stared back at me.

He looked like an angel. A gift from God himself. Every detail of him appeared to be exactly how I remembered it. I will never forget those eyes of his for as long as I live. I squeezed him tight to me. I never thought I would see him in the flesh again… let alone touch him. He had returned. I hadn’t erased his entire existence after all. Somehow, he found his way back to me and was right here safe in my arms once more.

Jasmine claimed a small piece of the action for herself, joining in on our hug and by the time Jay made it back with my tea, I was a blubbering hot mess.

“And what did you two do to make mommy cry?” he asked them, unsure of what he had missed.

“We didn’t do it, daddy.” They chime together in unison.

Huh!!!! Mommy? Daddy?

What are they all talking about? My brain felt like it was going to erupt any second now.
How much more can one person take in a single day?

“Come on, let mommy rest. Go get ready for bed guys,” he told the kids, when he picked up on my discomfort.

“Do we have to?” they whined.