Losing Control (20 page)

I checked it purely out of habit.

I KNOW YOU AND THORNE RYKER ARE A THING NOW. BUT YOU DON’T KNOW HIM, ELENA. YOU CAN’T TRUST HIM. PLEASE. YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME.

The phone was in my hand and I could see that single text, clear enough.

> BATHROOM.

> NOW.

I checked to see if Thorne was in his office but the room was empty, and he was nowhere on the floor either. Everyone else was busy working, and it was not even lunch time yet. I typed back:

> WHERE ARE YOU?

The response was very concise.

> DON’T QUESTION ME ELENA. UNLESS YOU WANT TO DISPLEASE ME?

A smile started growing on my face. There was also this strange feeling inside me, making me excited for what was about to happen, what
could
happen. I almost wanted to displease him, just to see what punishment he would have in store, but I decided it would be far more interesting to see where this led to. I took my cell phone and headed towards the bathrooms. Thankfully, there was no one around. I headed into one of the stalls and locked myself in, and my hands were trembling dialing his number. He picked up on the first ring. He had been waiting too.

“Are you alone?” he asked, no greeting, no nothing.

“Yes,” I confirmed.

“Are you wearing the panties I told you to wear?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t lie to me, Elena. You know I’m going to check.”

“I’m not lying.”

“Hold the phone in one hand,” he said. “With the other, I want you to touch yourself.”

I had to do as he asked of me.

So there I was, in the restroom of my workplace with a hand down my pants and he was guiding me on the phone, from wherever he was sitting. He had control over my body, even from that distance. That was what this whole exercise was about. I could tell he felt better than I did.

“You want to make me happy don’t you?” he said.

“Yes.”

“Then let me hear you come,” he said. “I want to smell that cum on you when I see you after work. I want your panties to smell like your pleasure, Elena. Will you do that for me?”

“Yes.”

My hand had a mind of its own. I was standing there just touching myself and listening to his voice—that deep, beautiful voice that he had, and was telling me what to do with my body. My hands were soon covered in my own juices and it didn’t take me long to find a pace that promised to bring me to the finish.

“Fuck!” I said at last, when the moment finally came.

My legs were weak and I had to take some support from the wall. I was still panting when I heard him speak again. “You’re a good fucking slave, Elena. You know how to please.”

There was a long pause before I was able to regain my composure and able to actually speak, through which he was waiting.

“Thorne?”

“Yes baby?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too baby. I love you more than you can imagine.”

In the evening, Stanton drove us back to Thorne’s place as usual. Thorne made some deal that he kept talking about, that he was excited about. When we got to his loft, he went to take a shower and his phone kept ringing. I don’t like answering other people’s phones, so I let it ring. I went to the kitchen, hoping to make some tea, when Thorne came back out. He was nude except for the towel on his waist and he had another one in his hand that he was drying his hair with.

“What are we having?” he asked.

“Tea,” I said. “Would you like to choose a flavor?”

“Anything you pick is fine.”

He had barely finished the sentence when his phone started ringing again. Thorne excused himself to go pick it up. Soon, I heard him speaking in a raised voice to whoever was on the other end. When he finally came down he looked angry. “I can’t believe my mother,” he said.

“What happened?” I asked, sliding his cup of tea in front of him.

“Lane stayed there one day,” Thorne said. “
One
day, Elena! And now he’s all messed up and angry.”

“I’m sorry.”

“She acts like a child sometimes,” he said. “As though Lane is the one who cheated on her.”

The door opened and Lane walked in. He looked weak, unwell somehow. He wasn’t expecting me, that much was obvious but he gave me a polite greeting and Thorne walked over to him and took his backpack. “Did you bring the meds with you?” he asked and that seemed to annoy Lane a bit, but he still responded with a ‘yes.’

“I want to sleep,” Lane said.

“Sure,” Thorne said. “You take the bed. We were going out anyway. We’ll talk when you wake up.”

Lane wordlessly went upstairs.

I lowered my voice to ask the next question. “Is he not well?”

“Why do you say that?” Thorne asked.

“You asked him about the meds.”

“Oh that,” Thorne said. “That’s just…they’re a…antidepressants and other stuff that his therapist prescribed. He has to keep taking them for another year at least.”

“Okay. Sorry if that was personal.”

“Don’t say that,” Thorne said, finally reaching for the tea. “We share bodily fluids. It doesn’t get more personal than that.”

“Do you think he’s going to be okay?”

Thorne stared at his cup. “I hope so.”

It was a beautiful evening and that was why we decided to walk. Well actually it was me who suggested it; Thorne wasn’t much of a walking enthusiast apparently. I on the other hand, loved the feeling of my feet on the ground, the fresh air all around me. I even liked to experience whatever it was we were passing by, good or bad. Walking in the city could be an entertaining activity if you knew how to do it right. Too bad Thorne wasn’t seeing things my way.

“You don’t like doing this,” I said, trying to keep a straight face as we walked.

“Watch a dog pee on a homeless guy?” Thorne said, avoiding a puddle. “Not so much.”

“You haven’t even seen the sexual deviants yet,” I told him. “There’s this one street I know, where an old man will unzip his pants and show you his penis…like
every
time. Doesn’t matter if you’re a guy or a girl, he still does it.”

“No one’s taking him away?” Thorne asked in disbelief. “How could no one report something like that?”

“Well that’s cause people usually just end up feeling sorry for him. He’s really old and sad looking.”

“I bet that’s just an act,” Thorne said. “I bet he gets his rocks off this way and no one sees through the act.”

“So what if he is. Nudity is overrated anyway.”

“Look at you,” Thorne was actually grinning. “You’ve suddenly become the wiser one.”

“Excuse me but I was always the wiser one,” I smiled back.

“Elena?”

We both stopped in our tracks to find out who had called me by my name.

The same hazel eyes that I’ve been trying to avoid, they were standing right in front of me.

“Nick?” I said.

He was right there, behind us, and he looked furious. There was anger in his eyes that I had never seen before. It was kind of intimidating.

“Nick,” I said, finally able to find my voice. “What the hell are you doing here? Were you following us?”

But instead of looking at me, Nick started glaring at Thorne for some reason. I didn’t like one bit where this was going and I had that
feeling
inside that Nick wasn’t here to just chat. But there were people around us and I felt a kind of safety in that. Of course at the same time, my mind was thinking of possible escape routes in case something did go wrong.

“You haven’t told her the whole truth have you?” Nick almost spit the words out at Thorne. “You haven’t told her everything Mr. Ryker.”

I had no idea what he was talking about but when I glanced at Thorne, I knew what that look meant—confusion and being caught off guard.

“What do you want, Nick?” I tried to make him listen and this time Nick looked right at me and started talking.

“Remember that girl you saw with me?” he said.

“Of course I remember Nick,” I said. “It was one of the best moments of my life.”

I hoped my sarcasm was obvious enough and Nick would back off but he kept going in the same vein. “That girl,” he continued. “You know what her name was?”

“No Nick, I have no idea and I don’t give a sh—”

“It’s Cyndi,” Nick said. “Her name was Cyndi.”

I knew I’d heard that name somewhere…

Thorne.

She was at the club with Thorne, but I hadn’t been able to see her face…

“Thorne was the one who sent her to me Elena,” Nick said. “He sent her to break us up.”

It was obvious Nick was just lashing out, trying to find something about Thorne to be angry with him. And to make me angry. “You think you know him Elena,” Nick said. “But you don’t. I just had someone tell me the whole story. Thorne has been after you for a while now. I don’t know, he must have seen you somewhere. Whatever. And he planned to break us apart, so he could take my place. It was all planned, Elena! Every moment! It was premeditated!”

Nick
has
to be lying.

“And I’m supposed to take your word for it, Nick?”

Nick reached inside his jacket and produced a folded piece of paper that he had obviously been carrying around for a few days, and he handed it to me. It was a printed picture. Of Thorne. And that girl…Cyndi…the blonde Nick was talking about, that hair that I know for sure is a wig. I handed the picture to Thorne.

“What is this?” I asked Nick.

Thorne was quiet and I wanted nothing more than for him to deny this. I wanted him to tell this never happened, that Nick was making it up.

Nick wasn’t done.

He produced an envelope and handed it to me.

“Look inside,” he said.

I had no choice but to do this and get it over with. Nick had come with a purpose and he wasn’t leaving until it was done, so I opened the envelope. There was a folder in there. Inside the folder, there were details, and odd documents, newspaper clippings and other paraphernalia, but there was one thing common about each one of those things: they were all related to me or one of my pen names. Okay, so that part does kind of sound strange.

“What’s all this?” I asked

“That came from his office,” Nick said, gesturing toward Thorne.

So Thorne had information on me, big deal. I mean, it was a little impolite and not such a great thing to find out this way but still, there was nothing incriminating about that.

“You asshole,” Thorne couldn’t hold it in anymore. “You’ve been digging into my private life!”

But Nick wasn’t really concerned about that. He was only looking at me.

“Look at the date,” Nick said. “It’s from before we got separated. When we were still together, Elena! He did this to us! Don’t you get it? He’s been lying to you all this time!”

Once again, I turned to Thorne, hoping he would lie to my face just to have a second spin on all this.

“Elena,” Thorne said. “It’s not what it looks like.”

I was about to think of something to say, but Nick didn’t allow me to carry out the conversation. From out of nowhere Nick sucker-punched Thorne and I saw Thorne reeling with the impact of the hit.

“Nick!” I yelled but it was too late. There was already a small war going on between them, because Thorne couldn’t stop himself and neither could Nick Jones. They were cursing at each other and then, Thorne had Nick pinned down and I knew he was about to do something awful—

“Thorne!” I yelled.

Thorne’s arm stopped mid-swing.

His hand lingered around Nick’s throat for a while and then he let go of him. I was standing there with so many thoughts going through my mind. I didn’t know how to react or respond, I just knew that I needed to be far away from all this. But first, I needed to send Nick a message that he would actually understand.

“Listen to me Nick,” I said. “What Thorne did or what some hooker did, or what anybody else in the universe did is not my problem. No one was forcing you to sleep with her, Nick. You get that, right? This wasn’t the first time you cheated on me. This was the last time for sure, but it definitely wasn’t the first time you’ve hurt me, Nick. Ever since we started living together you’ve been an asshole! How could you not know that? You were treating me like shit, always taking me for granted! I kept telling myself it was going to get better. That
you
will get better but you kept hitting your worst Nick! You kept trying me! Testing my patience! Why are you so surprised that I left you? Are you really that dense, or do you get something out of acting like you’re some deep, loving guy that I would hate to lose?”

“I’ve made mistakes Elena,” Nick said. “I’m not denying it. I told you a million times I know what I’ve done. I’ve apologized! And I’m telling you it’s not going to happen again. Why can’t you believe me?”

I felt tired.

“Nick,” I said. “It doesn’t matter now. Don’t you get it? I’m over you. I have been for some time but I wanted to wait and see if I was right. And that night, when I saw you…with her…I
knew
it was the right time to do what I did. If it hadn’t happened that night, it would have happened some other night Nick. All Thorne did was to speed it up!”

Nick was listening to this and I thought he got the message. But then he went ahead and said, “You don’t mean that.”

“Nick,” I made sure he heard it this time. “I mean every word. Stop doing this. Stop acting like we have a chance because I am telling you right now that we don’t. It doesn’t matter if I’m with Thorne or not. What matters is that I am never going to be with you again. Please, for the love of God Nick, stop bothering me or I will get a restraining order! And I know how much you hate legal proceedings.”

I said this and went over to Thorne whose face I just noticed was bleeding. Nick stared at me for a while, but then I think he couldn’t think of anything to say so he turned and left.

“Are you okay?” I asked Thorne who had a nasty bleeding cut on his cheek. “Let’s go get you help.”