Losing Me, Finding You (21 page)

“Club business,” Austin says gruffly, but Kimmi and Mireya are glaring at each other and not paying him the slightest bit of attention.

“I'm sorry, Mireya,” Kimmi says. “For what happened to you, but we all have hard pasts. Doesn't give you the right to act like a bitch all the Goddamn time.”

“Oh, fuck you, Kimmi. I didn't ask to start a war with Walker. That was Kent. And I didn't ask anyone to go out and seek vengeance for me.”

“Yeah? Well, if you ask me, Walker and his buddies deserve to be taken out, just to make the world a safer place.” Kimmi holds up her hands and the gold bracelets on her wrists jingle. “But that's not what I was talking about.” She nods her chin at me. “Aren't you even going to introduce yourself to Austin's new friend?” When she says this, she smiles wickedly, like she couldn't be happier to see me standing there.

Austin rolls his eyes to the ceiling and curses under his breath.

“Oh, we already met,” Mireya says, waving her hand dismissively. “At the bar. What was your name again?”

“Goddamn it, Mireya,” Austin begins, but I cut him off. I look the woman in her eyes which, admittedly, are beautiful and try not to feel intimidated. I'm guessing that respect goes along way here, so I've got to demand it for myself. I can't count on Austin to do it for me.

“Amy Allison Cross,” I say, but I don't extend my hand. Mireya stares at me, picking at a bit of leather fringe on her jacket. When she turns away, I see that she's got all her patches. She doesn't respond, but I don't think anybody expects her to.

I touch my hand to Austin's and am surprised when he shivers a bit, throwing a look down at me along with a crooked smile. I wish I hadn't smelt that perfume. Knowing Austin slept with somebody and knowing that he slept with this horrible woman are two different things entirely. I hold back a sigh and try to push the thought from my mind. I'm kidding myself if I think Austin's list of partners is short enough to count off on both hands, but then, I don't really care about the past. What I care about is the here and now. Is he going to keep sleeping with Mireya or are we semi-exclusive? He said I was his, but he never said he was mine. God, if there was one thing the romance novels got right it was how complicated all of this stuff is.

The elevator doors slide open and Mireya shoulders her way past Gaine and into a large, conference room filled with bikers. Oh dear. My stomach twists painfully. Is this all for me? I sure hope not. Gaine watches Mireya go with a sigh.

“She's not happy about me being here, is she?” I ask, and it's Gaine who answers. Austin doesn't seem like he wants to touch that question with a mile long pole.

“She's just … ” Gaine looks at Austin and then over his shoulder after Mireya. “Complicated. Don't worry about her. I think you joining Triple M is actually going to be helpful to her in the long run.”

“Yeah?” Austin asks, sounding suspicious. “How so?” His friend shrugs and takes my other arm. I notice that Austin's eyes follow him closely. “You two have a good time last night?” he asks and Gaine laughs.

“We had a few glasses of wine. That's about it. I think I got halfway through my story about the badger that got into my high school gym before you stormed in on us.” Austin snorts and shakes his head.

“Shit, Amy,” he says. “Sorry you had to hear that crap. He tells it to anyone that'll listen.” I smile and look over at Gaine.

“That's okay,” I say, meeting his dark eyes. “I liked it.” Austin snorts again and drags me forward quickly, too quickly, like maybe he doesn't want me talking to Gaine. His friend lets us go, pausing next to a table where Beck is making the moves on a hotel employee. He gives us a gentle wave and turns away. I don't get to ask Austin what that was about because he's already pulling me towards a group where Kent is talking with the tall, skinny, blonde I saw before. When she sees us coming, she bats her eyelashes coquettishly and smiles.

“Amy Cross. I've already heard so much about you.” I wonder how that's even possible, but I don't say anything, just smile and hold out my hand.

“Nice to meet you … ” I trail off, waiting for an introduction.

“Amy, this is Melissa Diamond, Kent's wife.” He doesn't sound overly joyous when he says this. Melissa shakes my hand and even lifts it to her lips for a kiss.

“So glad to have another woman in the group. Sometimes, I feel like I'm drowning in men.” She winks at me. “Not that that's a bad thing!” I notice Kent's lips twitching, but he doesn't speak up, just keeps sipping his wine. “How do you like your welcome party?” Melissa asks me, gesturing at the room and the table of food with her hand.

“I, uh, I didn't know it was possible to organize something like this on such short notice. Thank you, I'm flattered.” Melissa throws her blonde hair back and laughs loud and raucously.

“They had a last minute cancellation for another group,” Austin says dryly. “We got the room and the food for almost nothing.”

“Still,” Melissa says, dropping her chin back down so she can look at me. “It's the least we could do for our newest member, right Kent?” Kent smiles, but he doesn't speak. Honestly, I'm a bit relieved because the man scares me a little bit. I don't trust him. Mireya's mean is all on the surface, but Kent … I have a feeling that there's something ten times darker simmering beneath.

“Well, I'm going to drag Amy around and introduce her to some of the assholes here, if you don't mind.” Austin pulls me away with a roll of his eyes.

“Fucking cock suckers,” he says, making me jump. I figure I'll get used to the vulgarity after awhile. “Don't worry about trying to like either of the Diamonds. It won't happen, and you'll just be wasting your time.”

“Melissa seems … ” I search for a word. “Outgoing.”

“You mean she's a whore?” Austin says, chuckling. I turn a bit pink, but I shrug my shoulders. I suppose that was the vibe I was getting off of her. “Well, you're right. She is. And she'll fuck anything that moves. Stay away from her.” I look over at him quickly and realize that he's serious. His dark eyes are sparkling a bit and he seems like he's lost in thought.

“Austin,” I say as he walks us through the crowd, nodding at people but never stopping. “Do I need to make a speech or something? Talk to the group as a whole?” I can already feel my anxiety level creeping up.

“Nah,” he says, finally stopping as we reach Beck and Gaine who are hanging out near the alcohol. “This is just a formality, just to let everyone see that you're here. I'll help you learn who's who, who to hang out with, who to avoid.” He shrugs. “Take Beck for example.” The redhead smiles at me with a mouth full of food. “This asshole is an even bigger whore than Diamond. If you want an easy lay, he's your man, but don't expect it to be good.”

“Hey, Sparks, fuck you,” Beck says, winking at me. Gaine wraps his hands around his beer bottle but stays quiet. “Why don't we let Amy test us both out, let her be the judge.” Austin's hand snakes around my waist and pulls me tight against him, drawing the breath from my lungs and speeding my heartbeat up to dangerous levels.

“Like she'd want your hairy ass,” Austin quips, but he doesn't release me. Instead his fingers clench so tight around my waist that I'm certain he's going to bruise me.

“Did you tell her how sweet this deal is?” Beck continues, adjusting his arm with a wince. I see bandages peeking out of his shirt. Both him and Gaine are injured. Coincidence? Or did something happen?

Austin looks down at me and shakes his head.

“I ain't got there yet, Beck. Been a little busy if you haven't noticed.”

“What?” I ask, looking between the three men. I feel comfortable suddenly, like this is a group that's been around for awhile. They're all longtime friends, that much is obvious. I decide that if I stay here, even if things with Austin don't work out, that this is a group I'd like to be a part of. “What deal?”

“Well, beautiful,” Austin begins, reaching out and grabbing two beers from the table. He pops the top on one and offers it to me. I take it gratefully, sniffing the alcohol briefly before taking a sip. It's my first time drinking beer which is pretty pathetic, and I'm not surprised to find that the taste is hardly palatable. I take another swig. Austin watches me and the smile on his face grows wider. “We Triple M'ers stick together hardcore. That means no breaks. We go year-round together, traveling constantly. If you want to settle down somewhere, join another group. This is a lifestyle, baby.” I nod my head. I had already assumed that much. In fact, I was betting on it. “Everything you need is provided for you: food, clothes, lodging, bikes.” I manage to keep my mouth from dropping, but I'm sure they can all see the surprise registering on my face.

“But how?” I ask, knitting my brows together. “Who pays for it all?”

“That's the sour part of the deal,” Gaine says, speaking up suddenly. All eyes turn to him. “Most of the time, we remain in blissful ignorance, eating the fruits of other people's labor. But one day, we all have to pay our dues. One day, to keep up this utopia that we've got going on, we have to sell our soul to the devil.”

Shit if I don't know what to say to Amy after Gaine's weird outburst. I end up walking her out the back doors of the hotel and finding the pool. I try to tell her all the great things about the club, about the way we take care of each other, but when she asks me questions I've got to deflect, I don't rightly know what to do and end up just kissing her. There's a lot of club business that I can't discuss. I've never sponsored a prospect, so I have no idea how to handle this. 'Specially not when I'm interested in fucking 'em.

“Austin,” Amy says, trying to put some space between us. I don't blame her. Whenever she touches me, I feel like I'm fighting a friggin' tsunami of sex and need. It's like my whole damn body is on fire and she's the only one that can put it out. “What happens now?”

“Hmm?” I ask, tucking a bit of hair behind her ear and trying not to think too hard about the blow job she gave me. If I'm honest with myself, it was the best I'd ever had.
Hah. A fucking virgin and she sucks cock like a pro. How about that?
“What do you mean?”

“I mean, now that we're in a new town, what do we do?”

“Well,” I say, putting my hands on her hips. I've never been this touchy-feely with a girl before, but I like the way that Amy looks at me when I'm touching her. That's never happened to me either. I take my hands away suddenly and wipe some sweat from my forehead.
Why's it gotta be so dang hot all the fucking time? Christ.
“First, I take a shower because I smell like something crawled up my shirt and died.” Amy chuckles and puts a hand to her mouth. “And then I show you how to ride. First step to being in a motorcycle club is learning how to actually drive one.”

“I suppose you're right,” she says, but I can see that she's still thinking too hard. I imagine that there's a lot going on inside that pretty head of hers, but she's got to learn to let it go, or she's never going to be able to enjoy herself out here. I know because I've been there.

“Hey,” I tell her, breaking her trance for a moment. She looks back up at my face. “About the video and your family, I'm sorry.” She tries to smile at me, but it doesn't come out right.

“That's alright,” she whispers, but I know it's not. Eventually, I'm going to have to confront Mireya about it. Eventually but not now. She's too hotheaded. If I talk to her about it today, she'll likely bite my friggin' dick off. “I wanted to come with you anyway, I just … ”

“Didn't want 'em to look at you like that?” Amy blinks in surprise. I smile at her. “Yeah, I know the feeling. I mean, my circumstances were different, but the results were the same. Granted, my folks had a bit more to be sore about.”

“What did you do?” she asks me, but I'm not ready to answer that question yet.

“Come upstairs with me, baby,” I say instead and this time, it's her turn to smile.

“Okay,” she whispers, letting me take her by the wrist, so I can lead her up to my …
our
hotel room.
Guess I'm gonna have to get used to sharing my room. And my life.
I realize that I can't leave Amy alone for long periods of time, not yet. She doesn't have a phone, no money, no friends. For now, I'm all she's got. I want to feel panicky, like this girl's trapped me somehow, but I don't. I don't feel anything but horny as hell. I wonder how long these feelings will last.

We're halfway to the room before I realize I don't have any condoms left.

“Fuck,” I snarl, startling an elderly couple down the hall.

“What?” Amy asks, sounding alarmed. Something in my voice must've made her think something was real, real wrong. Apparently, not being able to fuck her sounds high up on my list of things to be worried about.
You are such an asshole, Austin.
Amy steps in close to me, so close that I can smell the sweet shampoo that she used on her hair.

“I'm out of condoms.” The couple down the hall is trying to unlock their door as fast as they can, casting nervous glances our way. I do my best to ignore them. Amy blinks a few times and looks away, nibbling her lip like she's got something to say but isn't sure how to phrase it.