Lost and Found (8 page)

“Are you all right? You know you still haven’t told me what happened yesterday.”

“I did something stupid.” Maggie looked straight ahead through the unusually clean windshield.

“Wait
,
don’t say anything yet.” Diane pressed the brake and pulled a U-turn on the fairly quiet highway, driving across two lanes
,
and into the parking lot of the Road Side Pub. “I’m pretty sure I ‘m going to need a glass of wine to hear this.”

Maggie said nothing but chewed on that same piece of nail on her thumb
as
Diane pulled into the empty gravel lot and parked.

“I can’t believe you did that.” Diane rested her forearms on
the
small corner table beside the warm fire blazing in the dining room section of
the
cozy pub. It was mid-afternoon on Saturday
,
so the dinner crowd hadn’t arrived yet. Except for the two guys watching the sports channel above the bar, they were the only two in the place.

“You accidentally took a sleeping pill before going to his lawyer
’
s office?”

“Ah yah, that would pretty much sum it up.” Maggie couldn’t remember Diane’s deep brown eyes
ever
looking more shocked.

“Did you snore? Whoa, wait. What are you doing taking sleeping pills to begin with?”

This was the part Maggie dreaded. None of her friends were aware she’d started taking pills for anxiety during the day and pills to sleep
at night
. Maybe that was why Richard kept calling. He must suspect something.

“I didn’t want to tell you this. I meant to take
Ativan
for my anxiety, but I mixed up the pills.”

“What! Why are you taking anxiety meds too? Pills! What the hell
,
Maggie. You know better. After what we’ve seen out there with drug users and addictions—weren’t you paying attention? You know as well as I do that prescription drugs are as addictive as illegal narcotics, and they are just as destructive. Do you really want this lecture?” Diane leaned closer glancing over her shoulder when the waitress set the table behind them.

Maggie glanced down at her short finger nails
,
the ones she’d begun chewing down, something she hadn’t done since she was an awkward teenager. Diane was staring at her when she looked up. Her lips paled into a thin line as if ready to launch into a lecture—something scathing that’d leave her poor ears ringing. So Maggie held up the flat of her hand and shook her head. “Don’t Diane.”

“Sorry. I’m sure the last thing you need right now is someone else coming down on you. But I need to know all the pills
you’re
taking and how long you’ve been taking them?”

“Since I left Richard, and it’s just the sleeping pills and
Ativan
.”

“Does Richard know?” Diane lowered her voice so the
lingering
waitress wouldn’t hear.

“No. You’re the first.”

“Okay, what about Ryley
?
I mean
,
has he seen you popping pills
?
”

“I only take them when I need them. Not that often, so stop worrying. You’re making me sound like some irresponsible
mother
. And Ryley’s fine
.
He’s
with Richard right now anyway.” Maggie picked up her water glass and sipped.

“All right. So tell me what happened
with
the lawyers.” Diane appeared to relax and lifted her glass.

“My lawyer warned me about keeping my cool and playing fair. Well
,
he got his wish. I didn’t say a word. In fact
,
I had hard time keeping my eyes open
,
I was so relaxed. I don’t remember what was talked about or what was agreed. But I do remember my lawyer nudged me a couple times. And the way Richard watched me…”

“What?” Diane raised both hands in the air.

“I don’t know. But I know he suspects something.” Her heart ached
,
and she squeezed a fistful of her brown sweatshirt above her heart. “He’s going to try and keep Ryley.”

“Did he say that?”

“No.”

“Well what did he say to you?”

“Nothing. I didn’t give him a chance. I left right after the meeting. Grabbed a cab. He keeps calling. But I haven’t called him back.”

This time Diane’s face softened
,
and her mud brown
gaze
reached across the table with a seriousness that only appeared when she was in cop mode. “Maggie, I love you. And I don’t want to hurt you, but you need help. You’re not being fair to Richard. Call him back. Don’t play games. You and I both know he doesn’t deserve this silent treatment. No one does.”

When Maggie tried to interrupt and defend herself, Diane waved her hand gently in front of Maggie’s face, before reaching across the table gripping her wrist in a way to stop her from talking.

“No
,
please let me finish
.
I think you need to hear this. And remember I’m your friend, but I’m Richard’s too. And I’m the one standing in the background watching both sides with clarity. You and Richard both suffered a horrible loss no parent should have to endure. But Maggie, you need to pull it together for Ryley. You seem to be forgetting about him from the little bit I’ve seen recently. Richard can see how much Ryley needs you guys. And he’s pulled himself together for Ryley. So right now maybe Ryley would be better off with Richard, until you clean yourself up.”

Maggie felt the blood drain from her face and her heart slice open as if sharp claws of betrayal were cutting into it. How could Diane turn on her?
She
slid her chair back, but Diane grabbed her arm again.

“No, sit down. And get that wounded puppy look off your face. As your friend
,
I’m entitled to set you right. That’s what friends are for. We should be able
to
say anything with love. When you do something stupid and don’t see things clearly, good friends are there to help guide you back on
to
the right
path, even if it’s a hard kick in the ass.

“You need to call Richard and come clean about the pills. If you don’t
,
I will. Then you need to get some help, counseling. I’ll help you find the right person to help you get off those pills and stay off.”

“I don’t need help. I rarely took them. I’m not addicted.”

And to prove it she’d dump them out as soon as she got home.

Richard’s brand new one ton truck was parked in front of Maggie’s rental house when Diane pulled into the driveway to drop her off. Richard was hunched under the front end of her car. He stood up and waved when Diane parked.

“What’s he doing here?” Maggie gripped the armrest and squeezed and glanced at Diane
to see a
rosy telltale flush on her cheeks.

“You called him? When…?”

“When you went to the bathroom. I’m sorry, but I realized you’ll put it off and avoid talking to him. So to make it easier for you
,
I took charge. And I know I eliminated and took away your power. But you need to tell him, and this way I know you’re going to talk to him.” Diane’s face reflected a subtle sternness when her compassionate gaze lingered on Maggie. At this moment
,
Diane had
an
inner strength Maggie would have killed
to have
just a fraction of.

Maggie’s hand trembled on the flat handle when she pushed open the door and climbed out. Richard gripped the top of the door forcing Maggie to skirt around him.

“Hey Diane
,
good to see you.”

“You too
,
Richard. And she knows I called you
,
and she’s got something to tell you.”

Maggie’s face burned when Richard swung his deep gaze like a spotlight down on her. And his eyes flared for a moment, just as they used to when he knew she was hiding something. He never blinked or looked away
,
even when Diane left.

“Shall we talk here or in the house?” He crossed his arms.

“She shouldn’t have called you.” Maggie tried to walk past him
,
but he moved and blocked her escape. “Richard
,
please.”

“After you
,
Maggie.”

He didn’t touch her
,
but jammed his hands in his jean
s’
pockets as she scooted around him. Her stomach ached
,
and she felt her chest burn as her heart kicked up a beat. Richard dogged her heels
,
and she could feel the burning heat of his gaze in her back. Daisy yipped and scratched at the door while Maggie fumbled with her keys. When she popped open the door
,
the
gray
weather stripping around the door frame slipped out again, and wacked her on the back of the head. “Shit.”

Richard pressed the thin rubber strip back in its slot along the doorframe. Daisy whined and demanded all of Maggie’s attention, so she ruffled the top of her dog
’
s head and then limped to the backdoor letting Daisy into the backyard.

“Did you hurt yourself?”

Her shins, her ankles, her arms ached. But she’d rather focus on that, talk about that,
than
why he was really here. “Diane took me to her cop club for a game of
paintball
war. Two of the SWAT guys Diane works with took offence to me nailing them, which I
did
fair and square, but
being
the bad sports they are
,
had a temper tantrum and unloaded all their paint rounds at close range, thus the limp.” Maggie swished her hand at her legs.

“Why didn’t you tell me your car broke down? The transaxle snapped. And that old heap of junk is not worth fixing. You could have been hurt or even killed if
it
broke on the highway.”

Had he even listened to her? “What the hell does my car have to do with the SWAT guys?”

He said nothing
,
but his eyes
and
his face took on that hard dark look of his when he got a hold of something and wouldn’t let go, and he waited.

“What are you going to do about it? We
’
re divorced
,
remember
?
I’m not you’re responsibility anymore.” Maggie paced in front of him.

“Well
,
let’s talk about that. For one
,
we’re not divorced
.
We’re
not even close to being divorced. And get this straight Maggie
,
you
are
my responsibility.”

She didn’t expect that, not from Richard. After Lily was killed
,
he’d turned his back on her when she needed him most.

“It’s amazing how you remember that now. You seemed to forget that when Lily…” A lump jammed up her throat
and
the never ending tears glazed her eyes.

“Let’s say it all, speak it out.” Richard jammed his finger in Maggie’s face. “I was grieving too. She was my little girl
,
and I’m sorry, but you weren’t there for me either. It’s a two way street
,
baby
,
and you holed up in her room for days and didn’t come out. We both said terrible, cruel things to each other. But Ryley…my boy didn’t have either one of us. We lost Lily. And it’s tragic. And I’ll always grieve for her loss. But life goes on Maggie, it’s been a year
,
and you need to get past this. Ryley needs his mother and father. Don’t you think he deserves that much?”

Well
,
that was a slap in the face. The same words she’d heard from Diane earlier today, but Diane was kinder.
She
shook her head, and covered her ears. Deep inside
,
she felt herself slipping back into that dark hole. Her chest ached, her palms were sweating, and she started to gasp for breath.

Richard gripped her arms and rubbed both hands up and down her arms before resting them on her shoulders. “Maggie
,
you’re shaking.”

“I don’t want to talk about this right now. Please Richard
,
just go.”

“No
,
I’m not leaving yet. Diane said there’s something you need to tell me. I’m not leaving until you’ve told me what it is.”