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"You told everyone I'd seduced you, " she said, looking hurt, and
feeling the pain of it again as she looked into his eyes, wanting to
hate him.

"That was just a joke."

"Not a very good one." She shrugged, and pulled away from him, and
walked back into the living room where she saw Charles waiting for her.

And he looked startled when he saw Toby walk in after her, but he asked
her no questions on the ride home. He didn't want to know. And she had
nothing to tell him. The joke had been on her. And now she had to live
with what Toby had done to her soul and her reputation.

But Victoria had been surprised when she heard from Toby again.

He had sent her flowers the day after he'd seen her at the Astors'
party.

Anonymously, of course, but she had known they were from him.

Two dozen long-stemmed red roses. There was no one else in her life who
could possibly have sent them. And despite the physical sensations she
still seemed to feel for him, she had taken the roses and thrown them in
the garbage. He had sent her a note after that, signed only T. and
asking her to meet with him, and she hadn't answered that either.

Whatever she still felt for him, she had no desire to resume her affair
with him.

Whatever it had been then, it was very definitely over.

As usual, she and Charles went their separate ways, and nothing was ever
said of her running into Toby. And all of them were in high spirits when
they left for Croton for Christmas. They packed their car with gifts and
food and Victoria remembered her gift for Geoff.

She had bought a complicated game for him, which the woman in the shop
had assured her would be just what a ten-year-old boy would want for
Christmas.

Victoria and Charles talked about the war almost all the way to Croton.

Other than women's suffrage, it had become her greatest fascination, and
she was extremely knowledgeable, which impressed Charles, but he did not
enjoy talking about it as much as she did. By then, the Western Front,
in Europe, had solidified into a four-hundred-mile trench from the North
Sea to the Swiss Alps with the French, British, and Belgians fighting
the Germans.

"We'll never get into it, Victoria, and it's profitable for us, " he
said practically. The Americans were selling munitions and guns to
anyone who would buy them.

"I think that's disgusting, " she said heatedly, "we might as well go
over and kill people ourselves. Instead of staying home hypocritically
and pretending to keep our hands clean."

"Don't be such a purist, for Heaven's sake, " he said, surprised at how
naive she was. "How do you think fortunes are made? What do you think
your father's steel mill did? "

"It makes me sick to think about it, " she said, looking out the window,
thinking of the men spending Christmas in the trenches in Europe.

It seemed wrong to even celebrate, knowing what the Germans were doing
to them, but no one else here seemed to understand that. "Thank God he
sold it, " she said quietly, sad that Charles didn't share any of her
passions. He was far more practical and down-to-earth, concerned with his
legal work, and always worried about Geoffrey.

When they got to Croton, Victoria found that their father was sick
again, and this time the cold he'd caught two weeks before had already
turned to pneumonia. He looked weak and thin, and he only came down
briefly on Christmas morning. They were opening their gifts, and he gave
both his daughters identical, and very handsome, diamond necklaces.

They were both thrilled, and they both put them on over identical
dressing gowns, as Charles said, to confuse everyone further. He said he
was afraid to give the right woman the wrong gift, or vice versa.

But he gave his wife a lovely !

.

stomacher and a pair of diamond earrings, which went perfectly with the
necklace from their father. And with a chaste kiss on the cheek, he gave
Olivia a warm scarf and a book of poetry. Victoria was startled to
notice afterwards that the book had been Susan's.

"Why would he give that to you? " Victoria looked puzzled.

"Maybe it upset him to keep it. And you hate poetry, he couldn't give it
to you, could he? " She smiled, feeling faintly awkward. But it was a
book she knew and loved, and she had been touched by his inscription.

He had known exactly what she would like. Apparently, it had been a
favorite of Susan's.

But the real fireworks came when Olivia gave Geoffrey two small guns and
an antique cannon and a whole army of little soldiers. Their uniforms
were actually accurate, and there were French and German ones, and
British and Australian. She had ordered them months before, and he was
ecstatic, as Victoria stared at her sister in outrage.

"How could you give him something like that? " she said, far too loud
for Christmas morning. But she was literally shaking. "How could you
give him something so revolting? Why not cover them all in blood, for
Heaven's sake? It would be far more honest, if you did that." There were
tears in her eyes, and she was genuinely upset over her sister's gift.

And it made matters even worse when it was obvious he found Victoria's
complicated game impossible to understand and very boring.

"I had no idea you'd object .. ." Olivia looked crestfallen.

"They're just toys, Victoria. And he likes them. He loves playing
soldier."

"I don't know or care what he likes. There are men dying by the
thousands out there, in trenches all over Europe. It's not a game, it's
not fun. They're men that people love .. . and you're making little toys
of them. I can't bear it." She turned away with tears in her eyes, and
Geoffrey asked his father in a worried whisper if he had to give them
back to Aunt Ollie. Charles shook his head reassuringly and a little
while later, he and Victoria dressed and went for a walk to the place
where her mother was buried.

"I don't think you should have been quite so upset, " he said gently.

"Your sister didn't mean any harm. I don't think she under stood the
violence of your feelings." Neither did he for that matter. In fact, he
understood almost nothing about her, and they both knew it.

"I can't do this anymore, " she said, looking at him miserably.

"I can't be your wife. I'm not cut out for this, Charles. Every one can
see it but you. Even Geoff knows." She felt awful about the gift, and
even about the book he had given her sister. It wasn't that she was
jealous of her, it was just that she felt she was in the wrong shoes,
constantly, and she was tired of it. "It was wrong of me to let Father
push me into getting married. I should have let him send me away
somewhere, and forget about me. I just can't do this, " she started to
sob, and he looked extremely unhappy, and then he decided to ask her
what he had wondered ever since the party at the Astors'.

"Are you seeing him again? Is that it? " he asked bleakly as she stared
at him, wondering how he knew Toby had even tried to get back into her
life. It might have been simpler if she had let him, but she didn't want
that now either.

"No, that's not it, " she said coldly. "Is that what you think?

That I'm cheating on you? I wish I were, it might be more entertaining."
But she was sorry for saying that too. She was sorry for everything, but
she just couldn't do it. And he didn't say anything to her as they stood
there, next to her mother's grave, as Victoria cried and he felt totally
helpless.

"I don't know what to say." He was sorry he had mentioned Toby, but he
had wondered when the cook had told him about the roses she had thrown
away. She thought it was a shocking waste, couldn't imagine who had done
it, and wanted to tell him about it before someone else did.

She had even rescued the card which said only "Please see me." But that
had told him everything, or so he thought. But apparently, he'd been
wrong.

Not that that changed any of what Victoria was saying.

"Do you want me to leave? " She turned and looked at him in despair, and
this time he came and put an arm around her.

"Of course not. I want you to stay. We'll work it out. It's only been
six months. They say the first year is the hardest in any marriage."

But it hadn't been that way for him before. The first year with Susan
had been idyllic. "I'll try and be more reasonable, and you try and be
more patient. What do you want to do about Geoffrey and his little army?
I don't think he's anxious to give it up, but if you want me to, I'll
discuss it with him."

"No." She blew her nose in his handkerchief and wished she had a
cigarette. "He'd hate me for it, more than he already does. That was
such a stupid game I bought him. I don't know what he likes, and the
woman in the store said he'd love it. I can't even understand it."

"Neither can I, " he laughed, "but I'll learn. I can learn anything, "
he said gently, "if you teach me." But she didn't want to teach him
anything. She wanted to run away. That was all she could think of.

They walked slowly back to the house eventually, and they both seemed
considerably calmer, but that afternoon she went to find Olivia who was
sorting through some linens with Bertie.

"I'm sorry about the guns, " Olivia said, looking genuinely remorseful
as Bertie left them. "I had no idea they would upset you so much.

" They were wearing identical green dresses, and each of them had on
identical emerald earrings. They both loved being together again, and
they exchanged a silent smile that spoke volumes.

"It's all right. Maybe I'm just stupid. I've gotten all involved in
what's happening over there, and it's so real to me. At times I forget
that we're not part of it. I'm glad Father sold the steel mill at least,
though I'll bet he's not. I'd probably be demonstrating outside and
getting arrested." They both laughed at her honesty, and Victoria sat
down in a chair next to her sister. And Olivia could see immediately,
even before she spoke, that her twin wanted something. It took a minute,
but then Victoria looked up at her mournfully and spoke in a
conspiratorial whisper. "You've got to get me out of this, Ollie.

For a little while at least. Before it drives me completely crazy. I
just can't do this." Olivia looked at her uncomfortably, worried about
what she was going to ask her, but she could already see it coming, and
she didn't want to hear it. "Should I say no before you ask, or let you
ask and then tell you I don't want to hear it? " Victoria lowered her
voice still further. "Ollie .. . switch . we II l with me, please . ..
just for a while .. . let me go somewhere, please, just to think . .. I
don't know what I'm doing." Her eyes begged her twin to listen to her,
and Olivia could see easily the pain she was in, but she was certain
that switching was not the answer.

Victoria just had to face it. She had made an arrangement, Charles was a
good man, and she just had to adjust to it. Running away was not going
to make anything better. But Olivia shook her head as she listened.

"You're right, you don't know what you're doing, " she said in a
whisper. "Switching would be disastrous. What if he found out?

What am I supposed to do? I can't pretend to be his wife. He would know
in five minutes. And even if he didn't, it's the wrong thing to do.

Victoria, I won't do it, " she said, and Victoria knew she meant it.

Tears filled her eyes and she grabbed her sister's hand and begged her.

"I know it's wrong. But it was wrong when we cheated in school, and it
was just as wrong whenever you lied for me, and pretended you were me
and you weren't. We've done it a thousand times. And I swear, he'll
never know .. . he can't tell us apart and you know it."