Orgasm in 5 Minutes (2 page)

1.
Excitement.
After kissing and cuddling with your partner for a while, you probably notice that a sensation of emptiness takes over your body. This is the beginning of the sexual cycle, called “awakening.” The heart starts to pump a little faster, the breasts seem to swell and the nipples harden, the blood flow rushes into the pelvis, the uterus contracts, and the labia swell slightly and begin to secrete lubricating fluids.

2.
Plateau.
This phase is much less noticeable because almost everything happens inside your body. The vagina increases in size, the labia minora darken and open slightly, and the uterus moves up: your body gets ready to receive sperm. At the same time, you feel blood rushing through your veins at galloping speeds.

3.
Climax.
Blood flows into the breasts, and they are enlarged even further. Breathing becomes more rapid and agitated, to the point that you may moan. The big moment has arrived! The clitoris becomes erect, and too much friction can be a bit bothersome. The labia swell. The muscles of the vagina contract spasmodically between three and seven times, as a kind of electric shock producing an intense sensation of pleasure. The anus contracts, and your heartbeat and breathing intensify.

4.
Resolution.
In this last stage of the cycle, the body returns to normal. The blood flows away from the pelvis, the breasts regain their normal size, and there is a general feeling of satisfaction and fulfillment. The heart rate lowers, and the uterus and vagina return to their normal shape and size. The increased blood pressure in the previous stages will give your cheeks a rosy pink color.

Perhaps the best way for you to really get to know your sexual organs, how the different parts are arranged, and what forms of stimulation you find easier and more enjoyable is by using the sense of touch. Touch plays a crucial role in the enjoyment of sexual sensations. If you familiarize yourself with your genitals by touch, it will be much easier to subtly direct another person’s touch to where you actually experience pleasure. We will suggest a few simple exercises for you to try on your genital area until you familiarize yourself with it. The purpose of this book is not to present complicated technical descriptions of your sexual organs. Instead, we intend to show a simple and practical way to discover yourself, to learn about your body, and to enjoy it. Practicing this exercise may help you find that very intense orgasm you want.

B
ODY EXPLORATION

Lie down comfortably
in a place where you are safe from prying eyes. Bend your knees and open your legs a bit.

Start by gently exploring all your body parts:
arms, breasts, abdomen, and inner thighs. Touch yourself in different ways: using your fingertips, the palms of your hands, and your wrists, perhaps.

Change positions
whenever you want and become acquainted with your curves and angles, as well as with the hard and soft parts of your body.

Gently explore
your pubic hair, labia majora (or outside of your vagina), and perineum muscle that is between your vagina and anus.

Slide your fingertips
along the inner or outer labia and the urethra, and continue upward to locate the clitoris.

Explore your clitoris
carefully. Check to see if you can feel it through the clitoral hood covering. Move around the clitoral hood and gently touch it.

Place your fingers
down the outside of the vaginal opening, and insert one or two fingers gently, until you feel your wet warmth.

Push your fingers further inside
until you find the “G-spot,” which is located about an inch inside the wall of the vagina. You will notice it because it is a small, particularly sensitive bump.

To wrap things up, go back to exploring other areas of your body,
take a deep breath
. . . and go to the fridge and grab something you enjoy, like a tomato juice or a yogurt.

Practice this exercise several times until you feel that you “know” your body—you know where everything is and what texture it all is. You will see how this will be very useful for the next steps that we will suggest for you to have an orgasm. Sexuality is a complex phenomenon involving many factors: education, culture, religion, social conventions, feelings, and passions . . . accumulations of external things that largely determine the type of relationship that people, especially women, have with sex. In this book you will encounter responses and behavior patterns to help you break free from the external prejudices imposed on you, and bring you closer to your sexuality in a more natural, simple, and pleasant way!

When sexual sensations start taking over your body, whether you are alone or with your partner, your muscles, organs, and body parts come into play, and it is important to recognize them and, to some extent, control them to achieve things the way you want.

E
XERCISES TO INCREASE CONTROL OVER YOUR SEXUALITY

Now, a few simple exercises to learn to identify and feel aspects of your body that are essential to having sex: breathing, breasts, pelvis, and vagina.

Inhaling and exhaling.
The breathing rate varies with the emotional state. Throughout foreplay, prior to an orgasm, breathing adapts to each of the phases that the body goes through: excitement, plateau, climax, and resolution. It is important to breathe smoothly throughout this process, because if the breathing rate is inadequate, your excitement could potentially keep you from reaching the culminating point. Initially, try to keep your breathing deep and balanced to help your body relax. Keep your mouth slightly open, and as you inhale allow your lungs and stomach to swell a little. Always make sure not to hold your breath, because this can cause tension that is very counterproductive to the full enjoyment of your physical sensations.

Breast exercises.
Do you like to caress your breasts? Do you notice that in doing so your blood flow accelerates and a slight tingling appears in your genital area? Sure! Relaxation in this part of the body is essential for sexual enjoyment. Lie down on your back and take a deep breath. Raise your arms over your head, forming an arc. As you breathe out, put your arms back down. Repeat this five times. Then do the opposite: raise your arms to breathe out and then lower them as you inhale. Five more times. Do you feel a slight tingling in the arms and face? Enjoy that feeling, because it is similar to that tingling sensation after having an orgasm.

Balancing and pelvic thrusts.
The movements of this exercise are similar to penetration and masturbation. Lie down on your back with your knees bent and your feet touching the mattress or carpet. Lift your hips and pelvis up and down. To raise your body more easily, push off with your hands.

Vaginal exercises.
Do you feel the muscles in your vagina? Are you aware that they are important for sex? The vaginal muscles should be exercised just like the rest of the body. It has been shown that by increasing the strength of these muscles, orgasms are more likely and more intense—first, because it increases blood flow to that area of the body; second, because the genitals gain strength, and that increases the chances of having an orgasm.

Initially, these are muscles that one “does not feel,” just like the stomach or bowels. However, with a little practice you will come to feel and control them. Can you imagine the pleasure you can experience when you notice that the muscles around your vagina surround and push your partner’s penis? Simply focus your mind on your vagina and try to contract and relax the muscles in that area. This is a similar movement we make to hold urine when there is no bathroom nearby. At first you can contract and count to three, then relax. Do not worry if the first few times you do not notice anything. With a little practice you will notice your muscles, you will feel as they contract and relax, and you get to control them more easily.

It will require a little extra concentration only at the beginning. Then everything will be a breeze, and you can practice anywhere because nobody will notice. You can do it while lying, standing, sitting, or reclining. On the bus, at work, leaning at a bar: only you will be aware that you are contracting and relaxing the muscles of your vagina and preparing to fully enjoy sex . . . when the time comes.

Sex starts in the mind

“Women with confidence are so sexy! I cannot stand women who hate their bodies, or just talk about their flaws, or constantly complain. To be honest, I only notice women who show themselves as they are. A woman who likes herself is always attractive.”

Jaime, 38 years old

Some say that true sexual activity happens in the mind . . . and the rest is pure gymnastics. I am not sure that is true. We have already seen how other parts of the body respond to sex very precisely. However, are you able to let go? Do you tremble at the thought of surrendering completely? Are you one of those people who cannot “lose control” for a minute? To have an orgasm, it is essential that you let go, surrender, and lose control. You also need to put aside any stress. But for some of us that is difficult. If that is your case, do not worry. You are just average. How many times have we heard, since an early age, that girls do not touch themselves, that they should not show their legs? How many times have we been told to be careful around boys because they are only after “one thing”? Everything we have been taught for generations about sex is very imprinted on our minds, and it is not easy to act naturally if our minds are full of all that trash!

In this chapter, I will tell you what you have to do to see yourself as a sexual being who feels sensual and wants to enjoy sex—to see yourself as someone who wants to have orgasms and enjoy her body. Because it is natural, because it is healthy, and because you deserve it.

To have an orgasm, you must see yourself as an orgasmic person. To be attractive, you have to feel attractive. Do you know anyone, man or woman, who is always attractive? Can you stand that individual? Is his or her arrogance insufferable? Typically you feel sexy sometimes, and other times you will be disappointed by your reflection in the mirror; you like your hair or your waist or your chest, but not every single part of your body. No one can expect to always feel like Miss Universe. The important thing is that you feel like a sexual person who attracts and is attracted to your partner, and that you accept this as something logical, natural, and positive, no matter how you were raised. This is not the time to berate your parents or educators who instilled those ideas in you. It is time to act. You are an adult. You are free. You can decide. You want to enjoy sex? Want to have orgasms alone or with someone? Are you willing to accept that thoughts about sex are not “bad”? If that is your decision, go for it! Reading this book will help you achieve those goals.

The first and most important step is to make a decision. Plainly.
I want to have orgasms! I want to enjoy sex! Sex is clean, natural, and good for my body and my mind! I deserve to enjoy it, and I deserve orgasms and pleasure!
If this decision is not final, if you keep mulling over the idea that sex is bad or wrong or inappropriate for women, your body will express that fear, that indecision, that barrier . . . and others will notice.

But that is not your case! You have decided to be a sexual person and enjoy your body whenever you feel like it! Bravo, that is the way to go! Continue reading, and you will not have even the slightest doubt that you will achieve this.

M
ISCONCEPTIONS

Some of the notions that follow have been heard many times in conversations with friends or in comments between people at work. They are part of the huge amount of prejudice that relates to female sexuality. Beware! None of them have anything to do with reality. They are in response to an old and outdated conception of sex and women. You have decided to be a sexual person and want to have orgasms easily. It will not hurt you to remember some of the most common fallacies that are ignorantly repeated, so that you can turn a deaf ear to them the next time you hear them say:

Sex is for those under 30.
If you are younger than that, this does not affect you, but if you are older . . . Forget this nonsense! There is widespread evidence that sexual responsiveness in women increases with age. In your 30s you are at the peak of your sexual prowess. Afterward, too! Only disease is responsible for a significant decline in sexual interest and activity.

A decent woman does not get aroused by erotic articles.
Can you imagine Brad Pitt caressing you tenderly? I consider myself to be very “decent,” and I confess that the thought turns me on. Do “decent” men get excited by their favorite actress or by an erotic movie? Excitement that stems from fantasies, erotic images, or readings has absolutely nothing to do with decency or gender. Human beings get aroused by certain images, but, again, the degree of arousal as a response to these stimuli depends on each person.