Perfect Fit: Book 4 of the Fated Hearts Series (20 page)

It was how we communicated. Some couples, like the Wrights, spoke freely and openly about their feelings. That worked really well for Gray and Chase, but Miller and I weren’t like that. We used our mouths in completely different ways to express our feelings for one another, yet it was just as poignant. I didn’t need Miller to yell out how much he loved me, because I felt it in his touch, saw it in his eyes, and tasted it in his kisses. It might not work for some, but it worked for us.

That night, I showed Miller how he made me feel. I lovingly touched every wet, slick part of his body while he straddled my hips in the generous sized tub. I pressed worshipful kisses to his naked chest as he raised and lowered himself on my dick. Miller tangled his fingers in my hair and tilted my head back so he could ravish my mouth as he rode me. His kiss told me so much more than simple words ever could and if given the choice, I’d choose his physical demonstrations over verbal one’s every time.

He was so sexy when he came undone in the circle of my arms with his head thrown back and incoherent words rambling from his lips. His orgasm triggered mine and I refused to close my eyes so he could see how he made me feel. No words were needed.

I stayed awake for quite some time after Miller fell asleep. I held him in my arms and let the comfort he gave me be the catalyst I needed to forgive and heal. I forgave my mother for her weaknesses and remembered the good times I shared with her. I let myself remember Will and the joy he brought into my life. I hoped that I was a man he could be proud of if he had lived. I finally forgave myself for wanting to be loved and I accepted that the circumstances I was born in to didn’t have to dictate the rest of my life.

I was free from burden and guilt; I owed it all to the beautiful man who laid beside me. The man who accepted me for the flawed man that I was and loved me anyway. I placed a kiss on the back of his neck and snuggled tighter against him. I fought off sleep so I could enjoy those newfound feelings for just a little longer.

“Go to sleep, already,” Miller muttered. “Indy can’t sleep with you thinking so loudly.” The pug let out a loud snore at the foot of the bed. “He’s just faking so you won’t feel so bad.”

“Well, he does need his rest so he can chase his mortal enemies tomorrow.” I glanced down at the foot of the bed and could just make out the silhouette of my cats in the darkness where they curled together beside Indy.

“You need your sleep so you can put up with my family at brunch.”

I groaned like I was miserable, but in reality I loved being included in the Brexler brunches and outings. “Yes, dear.” They were the last words that I spoke before I gave in to my exhaustion.

HALLOWEEN NIGHT ROLLED
around and instead of Jag being with me at Bottoms Up to watch the costume karaoke competition that our friends had entered, he was at a business dinner with Senator Baxter Thompson, or Bax, as Jag called him. I vividly remembered the way
Bax
looked at Jag the night of the alumni event at Georgetown and I hated them spending time together. Lately, it seemed that the senator got more of Jag’s time than I did. I resented their time together and the jealousy that ate at my mind day and night over it.

Jag tried putting my mind at ease by confessing that the only reason the senator approached him during the dinner was because Jag purposely lured him over with a suggestive look. He said that Baxter was eyeing me like his next meal and it made Jag insanely jealous, because he couldn’t stand the thought of me and the senator together. That did nothing to easy my worries, because we now had a horny senator on the prowl who thought Jag was interested in him. Jag countered that the Senator wouldn’t have waited nearly a year to make his move on him if he truly wanted him, but I wasn’t convinced.

Jag also said that he could tell by the look in my eyes that December night that he wasn’t alone in the attraction he felt between us and it was what finally encouraged him to make his move. I still couldn’t sit in my office without thinking about the way Jag took me over my desk or how I rode his cock with my tie acting as a gag so people didn’t hear me scream my pleasure. I used the memory to masturbate during the nights we were apart, which had been happening too much for my liking.

The last few weeks we had not been able to spend much time together because of our various professional projects. Jag was working with the senator on a national workplace equality campaign and I was heading up another joint project with the Smithsonian. Jag was every bit as jealous of the time I spent closed up with Gavin in my office and I took his chest thumping as a good sign that he still cared. It was hard to know how he felt, because neither one of us talked about feelings and emotions. We just took one day at a time and got together whenever we could, which lately had been only a few times a week. God, I missed him.

“Where’s your boyfriend again?” Gray asked me, knowing full well the answer to his question.

“For the hundredth time, we’re not dating. He’s not my boyfriend. We don’t do labels, Gray. I wish you could respect how I feel and let things go.” My outburst only earned me a smug smile from my asshole of a best friend. I began to think going to the party was a mistake, but I was already there so I planned to make the best of it. Gray threw up his hands in surrender about the same time the bar owner, Jack, stopped by our table for a brief visit.

“I’m sorry, Miller,” Gray said once Jack moved on. I looked at my friend and saw the sincerity in his expression. “I don’t understand what you two have going on, but then again it’s not my life. You’ve been so happy lately, but tonight you look miserable. If he’s hurt you…”

“He hasn’t,” I said, not allowing Gray to finish. “Look, Gray, I appreciate your concern. I really do. Let’s just keep in mind that you didn’t listen to a word I said to you during the ten year disastrous relationship you had with Devon. Jag and I are still figuring this relationship stuff out as we go and what we really need is support from our friends.”

“Ha! You just admitted you’re in a relationship. I’ll take that as a step in the right direction.” Gray’s smile was the goofiest damn thing I had ever seen and I couldn’t help but respond in kind. “It’s only a matter of time before you’re swapping keys to each other’s homes and planning weekend getaways.” The grin on my face stretched until it was nearly painful. I’d rather have a sore mouth, cheeks, and jaw from blowing Jag until he was out of his mind rather than grinning over Gray’s misnomers. “You’ve already done those things, haven’t you?”

“You’re a few months behind, buddy.”

“Fine then,” he said in an exaggerated huff which earned him another smile. “Soon you’ll be picking out rings and china patterns.” I wasn’t sure those things would ever happen with Jag, but it was fun to mislead Gray with another goofy grin. “Now I know you’re playing with me.” Gray narrowed his eyes and pointed his finger at me. “I can’t wait for my ‘I told you so’ moment.”

The competition started and we watched the performers take turns on the stage. I found myself enjoying the show so much that I forget about my jealousy and insecurity over the time that Jag had been spending with
Bax
. Gray cheered loudly when his husband and brother-in-law, Liam, took the stage. It was no wonder that Jag thought Liam was familiar to him. Chase had only just learned the truth of why Liam moved to town a year and a half ago. Gray told me that Chase had been shocked and hurt that Liam hadn’t told him sooner, but it didn’t take him long to forgive Liam and work on building a relationship together.

They performed Katy Perry’s “Dark Horse” together, with Liam dressed as Katy and Chase dressed as the rapper, Juicy J. They did a great job and were the frontrunners to win until Xavier and Ben took the stage. They performed “You’re the One That I Want” from
Grease
. Ben dressed up like Sandy and Xavier was Danny.

“I didn’t know your husband had those kind of moves,” I said to Gray, referring to Chase’s dirty dancing.

“I did.” Gray leered in his husband’s direction.

Xavier and Ben were called on the stage to accept their winning trophy and then Xavier did something that surprised everyone. He dropped to one knee and asked Ben to marry him. We collectively held our breath while waiting for his answer. Ben didn’t make us wait long before he accepted. I clapped and cheered along with everyone else, but there was a part of me that was the tiniest bit envious.

I congratulated the newly engaged couple then waited for Gray to search out his husband in the crowd before I snuck away. I checked my phone on my way to my car and saw that I had missed a few texts from Jag while I was in the bar.

Home from dinner.

I really want to see you tonight. Do you want me to come to the party?

There was an hour gap between his two texts and I felt really bad that I missed them. I sent him a quick reply that I was leaving the party right then, grabbing Indy, and heading over. I had a little surprise planned for him, but the closer I got to my house the more I doubted myself. In the end, I went through with the plan and put on my Halloween costume. Indy gave me a disbelieving look when he saw what I wore. The noise he made almost sounded like an indignant snort.

“You coming with me or not?” Indy gave a short bark and headed to the front door. I buckled him into his doggy car seat and headed over to Jag’s.

“Hi, Dr. Brexler,” the gate attendant said to me. She took in the costume I wore and couldn’t keep the smile off her face. Indy barked from the backseat as if complete agreement with her assessment. The smile broke into full out laughter as she handed me a dog biscuit for my back-stabbing dog.

“Hello, Molly.” I was on a first name basis with all of them by then. “Happy Samhain, lass,” I said to her, referring to the Celtic and Gaelic term for All Hallows’ Eve. My attempt at an Irish accent only made her laugh harder.

“Enjoy your night,” she replied once she stopped laughing.

I almost turned my car around and went home, but the need to see Jag won out over my self-doubt. Indy led the way to the front doorstep like he always did, but instead of unlocking the door like usual, I rang the doorbell and waited.

“Trick or…” The words died on my tongue as I feasted my eyes on Jag.

“…treat,” Jag finished for me. Jag grabbed me by my billowy, black pirate shirt and pulled me into his home. His eyes raked over the leather boots and pants that I wore and worked their way up my body until they looked into my eyes. “Oh, my dear Captain Hook, I have waited so long for you to plunder my depths.” He smiled broadly and gave me the once over again. “Nice guyliner.”

“Thanks, love.” My accent was a tad bit better than the one I used on the attendant. Jag stood in his foyer looking better than any fantasy or wet dream I ever had as a teenager. He wore the Indiana Jones look better than anyone. He completed his look with a fake whip on his hip and a sexy hat on his head. “Doctor Jones, I’ve got just the right tool for the job.” I gestured to the bulge beneath my leather pants.

We burst into insane laughter over our cheesy responses and I realized just how much I missed the easy banter between us. The sex had still been incredible, but we let jealousies and stupidity ruin the amazing comfort we had found in one another. I didn’t want to regress to just the physical part of our relationship, which is what had happened the last few weeks. We hooked up and fucked like two frenzied lovers who didn’t know when they’d get their next fix.

Jag pulled me into his arms and kissed me softly and slowly, which told me I wasn’t the only person who missed the way things used to be. Of course, my dick was ready to spring into action, but I ignored him. I needed so much more from Jag than an orgasm in that moment. I needed to feel connected to him. I rolled my eyes at how needy my internal thoughts sounded.

Jag pulled back from our kiss and looked into my eyes. “Did you eat dinner?” He didn’t wait for me to answer; he grabbed my hand and began walking to his kitchen. “I stopped and picked up some Mexican in hopes that you hadn’t eaten yet. I went ahead and ate when you didn’t respond to my text, but I saved you some leftovers. My blood sugar tanked from going so long without food and I was starting to get a nasty headache.” He released my hand so he could pull leftovers out of the refrigerator.