Perfect Fit: Book 4 of the Fated Hearts Series (32 page)

“We named her Grace after my mom and Abigail to honor her birth mother, who is a remarkable young lady.” Chase told us.

“It’s a beautiful name,” Gram told him. She sat in the vacated recliner and gently pulled off Grace’s knit hat. “Look at all that hair,” she cooed. The kid was sporting a head full of curly, black hair. “I can’t wait to see what color eyes she has.” Gram ran her finger softly against Grace’s cheek and kissed her forehead several times.

“You’re going to share her, right Agnes?” Ava asked.

Grace’s first day of her life was spent being passed from one joyful person to the next. That little gal had no idea how much she was already loved, but it was a beautiful thing to witness. If I had learned anything the last several months, it was that families came in many different forms. There’s the family that you were born into, the family whom you chose, and then you have the family that chose you. All of them beautifully unique in their own ways. For those of us who didn’t have a great start in life, the families that we chose and those that chose us became the ones that meant the most.

Not only did I redefine the way I thought of families, I learned to forgive my own mother. Xavier helped me to see past the addiction to the person she was beneath. By doing so, I allowed myself to remember the happy times and all the ways she tried to make up for my early childhood once she got sober. I forgave her for the crappy choices she made and no longer blamed her or myself for William’s death.

The sad reality was that tragic events touch us all at some point in our lives. We could give up and quit living or we could live for those we lost. We could put up a Christmas stocking to remember them by, or eat a piece of cake in honor of their birthday. We could donate to a charity that they believed in and make them proud of the person we had become. We could choose to focus on living and loving or we could choose to focus on the loss.

As much as Miller was missing his brother and Destiny, he put one foot in front of the other and focused on the living. He made Lucas, Lily, and me his primary focus and his source of comfort on tough days. Grace’s birthday was a great day. I probably wouldn’t admit to anyone just how precious I thought Miller looked holding a tiny little girl in his arms or the sudden urge I felt to see him hold a child of our own someday. I loved the way he cooed to her and how comfortable he was holding a newborn, where I was terrified I’d break her.

I was pretty quiet on the way home, because so many thoughts were cycling through my brain. The most recurring thought was when I should ask Miller to marry me and how. It clearly wasn’t the right time while we were heading into a custody battle, but as soon as it was over I wanted to show him how much I was committed to our future; to our family.

Lucas and Lily had their typical reaction when we got home, but we did as Lauren instructed. We greeted them exuberantly and then quickly changed the focus to take their mind off of their worry. It seemed to be working so far and I had hope that in a few weeks they wouldn’t panic when we left the house.

The kids went back to coloring the pictures they were working on when we came in and I pulled Miller into the kitchen. We could still keep an eye on them, but we had a bit of privacy so I could talk to him about the custody issue.

“I think it would be best if I let Paul represent you in the hearing,” I told Miller. I could tell he was going to object and I quickly continued so I could finish what I was about to say. “I’m too personally involved in your case. I worry that I can’t be objective when it comes to you and the kids. Paul is absolutely brilliant and he’s agreed to meet with you in the morning.”

“I don’t want Paul, Jag. I want you.” I loved hearing how much he wanted and needed me in all aspects of his life, but I was worried that I couldn’t maintain the level of professionalism that I would need. “I don’t want someone who is cold and detached. I want someone who passionately defends my rights to these kids,” he titled his head toward Lucas and Lily. “You’re the one who’s helping me take care of them and sees firsthand how much I love them and am devoted to them.” Miller moved closer and wrapped his arms loosely around my waist.

“I don’t want someone who’s going to recite family law by rote, I want someone who will go to the mat for me and the kids. You’re that someone, not Paul. I’m sure he’s a good guy, but he’s not you.” Miller shook his head vigorously. “He doesn’t love me and he doesn’t love Lucas and Lily, but you do. I need this to be personal, because it’s the most personal thing to ever happen to me. These are
our
kids now, Jag. They trust us and they need us. I trust you to protect their rights better than anyone else.”

I knew he was right, but that didn’t erase the fear I had of letting him and the kids down. If the unthinkable happened and the Candlesses were awarded custody, I selfishly wanted someone else to blame instead of myself. Miller saw right through my objection to the fear I didn’t want to admit. “You won’t lose and you won’t let us down. I know it in my heart. You need to do this to prove it to yourself more than you need it to prove to me or them.”

I pulled Miller tighter against me and kissed his forehead. “Okay.” I felt his relieved breath against my neck. “Thank you for having faith in me.”

“Perfect fit,” he said, repeating the words I had said to him the night before the funerals. I dropped a sweet kiss on his lips to show him how much his words meant to me. They tasted so sweet I couldn’t resist another little taste and then another. Miller didn’t hesitate to show appropriate affection in front of the kids. Their parents kissed and hugged all the time and he felt it would seem unnatural to them if we didn’t do the same. I heard Lucas and Lily’s childish giggles and turned to see what made them so happy. They were both looking at us and smiling with so much innocence that their laughter became contagious. “It just seems that our puzzle turned out to be bigger and have more pieces than what we first thought.”

“Uncle Miller and Uncle Jag, kissing in a tree. K-i-s-s-i-n-g.” Lucas sang out the same thing we heard him sing out to his parents on several occasions. Miller was right, the kids accepted our love just as they did their parents. They had no concept of bigotry and hate; I wanted to shield them from it as long as we could.

“I’m thinking it’s a pizza and a movie kind of night,” Miller said. “It’s Lily’s turn to pick the movie.” Lucas groaned because he knew which movie she was going to choose; it was the same movie each time.

She jumped out of her chair and did a little ballerina twirl followed by a graceless leap. “Frozen!” I could’ve recited every word uttered in
Frozen
by then. “I’ll need my Elsa dress,” she said before she scampered off to her room to put it on.

“Not again,” Lucas said and laid his head on the table. “We’ve seen that movie at least four billion times.” Lucas sometimes sounded like a junior adult and it always made me smile.

“We have to take turns, Champ,” I reminded him. “I’m sure that Lily isn’t thrilled about
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
either.

Miller gasped and clutched his chest as if he couldn’t comprehend why anyone didn’t like the Indiana Jones movies. I didn’t care how many times we watched them, because I always reaped the benefits once the kids went to bed. Every once in a while he asked me to put on my Indiana Jones costume.
Rawr
!!

“I guess,” Lucas said, giving in. “At least you guys don’t make me wear an Olaf costume.”

Thirty minutes later the four of us sat on the couch with Miller and me acting as bookends. We had paper plates of pizza in our laps, glasses of milk on the table, and begging pets at our feet. I looked at the little munchkins beside me as they went to town on their pizza and then over at Miller who was smiling at the scene playing out in the movie. Never in my wildest dreams did I picture this as a typical Friday night in the life of Jagger Jackson. My dreams could never have conjured up this level of love, because it was something it hadn’t known existed until I met Miller.

Miller’s eyes met mine in the semi-darkness of the room. I knew he was worried about the custody hearing and still deeply sad over losing Darryl and Destiny, so it did my heart good to see genuine happiness in his eyes. He was pushing all of the things that he had no control of aside to live in the moment by focusing on the positives in his life, which included greasy pizza and kid movies with the people he loved the most in the world. I hoped the smile I gave him showed him how proud I was of him and how happy I was to be with him in that moment. If not, I would tell him later. Life was a fragile gift and I wasn’t willing to leave anything to chance.

NEITHER MY HEART
nor my mind was engaged in returning to work, but everyone told me it was best for all of us to get back to our normal routines – well, our new normal routines. I was worried about being away from Lucas and Lily all day long. I was worried about the future custody battle with the Candlesses. I was worried that all of it would end up being too much for Jag to handle, even though he said he wanted to be there and his actions backed up his words. Still… I worried about everything.

My colleagues were very welcoming when I returned from my absence, which made it easier. Gavin was there to greet me with a friendly hug and then I noticed the huge bouquet of flowers sitting in the middle of my desk. I didn’t need to read the card to know who they were from, but I did anyway.

I smiled as I put the card in my drawer where I kept all the others he had sent me. I loved how Jag still considered Gavin competition and referred to him as “the kid.” There was absolutely no challenge for my heart where Jag was concerned. I handed it over to him a while ago and I didn’t want it back. In fact, our lives had become so entwined that I could hardly recall what my life was like before he came into it. I couldn’t imagine a future that didn’t include Jag; just the thought was enough to cause a stabbing pain in my heart.

I pulled my cellphone out of my briefcase and sent him a quick text.
Thank you for the flowers. I can’t wait to see you at lunch.

I was just about ready to set my phone down on my desk when it started to ring. I saw that it was Vanessa calling and my heartrate accelerated which caused my anxiety over losing the kids to kick up several notches.

“Hi Vanessa.” My voice sounded hesitant and wary.

“Hello, Miller.” Vanessa’s voice was soft and reassuring, the same one she’d use on a patient someday. “Do you have a few minutes to talk or shall I call you back later?”

I really needed to get my focus on the lectures I would give that day, which wouldn’t happen unless I found out why she was calling. My mind would turn over every possible situation again and again until I made myself sick. I had never been like this before, but then again I had never faced that level of grief and turmoil.

“I have time for you, Nessy,” I said, using the nickname that Destiny used for her sister. I heard my office door shut quietly so I looked up to find that Gavin had left to give me some privacy.

“Never stop calling me that, okay?” Grief slipped through her composure and I heard her sniffle a few times before she spoke again. “I’ve tried and tried to talk sense into my mom and dad, but nothing I’ve said has sunk in. I’ll give a deposition or testify on your behalf. Whatever it takes, Miller.”