Perfect Fit: Book 4 of the Fated Hearts Series (33 page)

“I don’t want to cause a bigger rift in your family. I’ll try my best to find another way, but if it comes down to it…”

“I won’t hesitate, Miller. I appreciate your concern for my relationship with my folks, but our family isn’t like yours. We don’t have Hallmark moments in our home. My niece and nephew need to grow up with the Brexlers. Destiny loved you all so much,” her voice broke, “and I just can’t fathom a judge not honoring the final wishes of Darryl and Destiny.”

I heard Jag’s reassuring words in my mind and repeated them to Vanessa. “They don’t have grounds to overrule their wishes. They have to show that I’m unfit and there’s no way they can prove it. This will all turn out okay.”
It had to or I didn’t know what I would do.

“I know that you’re right, Miller. I just want it all over with for you. I know it must be really hard for you to take all of this on while trying to get back to work and help Lucas and Lily cope with losing their parents. How are my beautiful niece and nephew doing?”

“We’re doing pretty good, Nessy. They’re adjusting to their new life with just a few hiccups here and there. Lily doesn’t want to part with her Susie doll. Ever. It was hard convincing her to go to preschool this morning without it. Lucas is very cautious at times, like he keeps waiting for something bad to happen. Jag and I got a few books to read and I’ve met with a child psychologist on how to handle these types of things. It’s not easy when we’re trying to get out the door on time, but I’ve realized that nothing is more important than their feelings. It’s a juggling act, Nessy. It’s trying to be patient and understanding, but not encouraging their fears. It’s harder than one might think, but Jag and I have handled it really well.”

“You’ve just confirmed what I knew all along – the kids belong with you.”

“And Jag,” I amended.

“And Jag.” I could hear the smile in her voice. “I like him, Miller. He’s fierce and protective, but also loving and nurturing. That’s a beautiful combination in a man. If you find a straight guy with those qualities can you send him my way?”

“Absolutely.” We shared a brief laugh before it was time to wrap up the call. “Nessy, do you want to come with me and help me decide what to do with Darryl and Destiny’s possessions? I’ve decided to put their house on the market and the money left over after the mortgage is paid off can go into college funds for the kids. I’m just not sure what to do with their clothes and furniture. There might be things of Destiny’s that you or your parents want to keep.”

“I’m free this weekend if you want me to make the trip. I’d love to help you out and spend time with the kids. Maybe give you and Jag a night off for a date night.”

“That sounds awesome. Call me later this week and let me know what time works best for you. Jag and I need to go car shopping and we wanted to take the kids so they could help us pick one out.”

“Oh, a minivan,” Vanessa teased.

“No minivan,” I said, repeating Jag’s sentiments.

“Okay, no minivan.” Vanessa conceded. “I’ll call you in a few days. Give the rug rats a kiss from me.”

“Will do.”

I felt lighter after receiving my flowers from Jag and talking to Vanessa. I was reminded that I wasn’t alone and I needed to stop feeling as if I was. I had a huge support system of family and friends who would step up and help me no matter the time of day. Hadn’t they already showed me that during the horrible days following Darryl and Destiny’s sudden deaths? I just needed to have some faith – in myself and others. I took a few more minutes to pull myself together and then headed off to my first class.

Jag showed up promptly at noon with a sack full of delicious Italian takeout from my favorite restaurant. I took the food from him and set it on my desk before I kissed him like I hadn’t seen him in a month. He pushed me against the edge of my desk, placed his hands on both sides of my head, and kissed me back with just as much fervor. I knew I would never tire of feeling his lips against mine or tasting him on my tongue.

“That is some kind of welcome,” Jag said breathlessly after our kiss ended.

“I just wanted to show my appreciation for your thoughtfulness.”

“Do I get extra credit points if I brought cheesecake for dessert, Professor Brexler?” The pouty pleading look he sent my way had me laughing at him.

“Did you bring cheesecake?”

“No, but I will next time for the proper incentive.”

I leaned in closer and pressed my lips to his ear. “You don’t need to entice me to get on my knees for you, Jag.” I felt his body stiffen against mine. “I love the feel of your cock in my mouth and the way you taste when you’re really turned on.”

“Bones.” His hands gripped my shirt where they had been resting above my ass. “I didn’t know it was possible to need anyone the way I need you. I’m not talking about sex either.”

“I need you too, Jag.” I pressed small kisses on his full lips. “It gets stronger every day.” Funny how I would’ve made fun of someone for saying those types of things just a short time ago. Telling and showing someone how they made you feel didn’t make you weak or less manly – it made you smart. Jag and I still joked about turning into sappy suckers, but I was certain that we both appreciated the romantic gestures we gave to one another. His smiling eyes didn’t lie.

We stayed in our embrace for several long moments before we broke apart to eat the food he brought. I told him about the discussion I had with Vanessa and passed along the compliments she paid him. He blushed a little and tried to play it off like what he did was no big deal. He was complete shit at accepting praise or compliments because of not receiving many in his life. I couldn’t go back and change his shitty past, but I had his present and his future and I would work on making him see what others saw in him.

“Were you serious about coming with me to help pick out a new ride this weekend?” He nodded his head, because he had a mouth full of pasta. I found it amazing how seamlessly we melded our lives together. There was no hesitation about including him on decisions regarding my future because I just couldn’t see a future without him. We needed to have a conversation at some point because he was paying for a home he didn’t use and my house wasn’t quite big enough for all of us to be comfortable. The more I thought about it the more I didn’t want to put the conversation off.

“Jag, I think it’s time we started looking for a larger place too.” I didn’t pause to let him respond. “Lucas and Lily will need their own rooms, you and I could use a home office, and I’d love a big backyard so they could have one of those giant wooden swing sets with a fort and a slide.” He sat blinking at me so I continued on. “It makes no sense for us to have two mortgages. I love the safety of your gated community so I thought we might look for bigger houses in your neighborhood that are for sale.” He still hadn’t said anything or moved anything but his eyelids. I thought for a second that I had pushed too hard or expected too much, but the smile that spread across his face assured me that I hadn’t.

“Funny you should mention that,” he said and pulled his phone out of his pocket. “I think I found the perfect place.” He clicked a few things on his phone and then handed it to me. “It’s not in my neighborhood, but it’s still a gated community.” I flipped through the photos of the house on his phone and felt an immediate connection. “There’s a third floor bonus space that would make an awesome media room so we can have movie and popcorn nights with the kids. There’s more than enough bedrooms to have a guest room, an office, or even use for someone else someday. Maybe.”

His voice broke slightly during the last few words and I jerked my head up to look at him. He licked his lips nervously as his eyes met mine. I thought I couldn’t possibly love him anymore than in that moment. He helped paint a bright and hopeful picture of a future that we could have together and I wanted to grab onto it with both hands and not let go.

“It’s absolutely perfect. Let’s make an appointment to take a look at it.” His nervousness faded at my words. I looked through the photos again. “There are plenty of extra bedrooms for future someones.”

“Yep.” I glanced up at him again and the smile he wore on his face surely had to match mine. People would think we were nuts for thinking along those lines this soon after Lily and Lucas came into our lives. I say screw them, because only we knew what fit for us.

THE NEXT SATURDAY
found the four of us at a Range Rover dealership. Miller showed no hesitation over trading in his sleek BMW for a family sized SUV. We made a big deal out of it by taking the kids to a pancake breakfast before we went to pick out a vehicle. I couldn’t help but smile when Miller whipped out baby wipes out of the glove department in his car. I raised my eyebrow at him in question of just how long they had been in there and what uses he had for them. Of course, he read my mind.

“I just bought them yesterday for this exact reason. We don’t need sticky kid fingers fondling the shiny new cars on the lot. It’s frowned upon.”

I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his ear so that only he would hear my words. “I love when your sticky fingers fondle me.” I pressed a quick kiss on his cheek and heard innocent giggling in the backseat of the car, followed by two little heart snatchers making kissy noises at us. I turned so I could look at them in the backseat. They both wore mischievous smiles and it melted me right on the spot, because it had been the roughest week yet.

Lily had a few nightmares and Lucas acted out at school. Miller and I used every tool we had learned from Lauren and the books we had read about helping children cope with grief. We were patient, yet firm, in both situations. We both comforted Lily and let her cry her little heart out over missing her mom and dad, but we insisted that she stay in her own bed. Sleeping with us was not a habit that Miller nor I wanted to start and Lauren cautioned it was an easy habit to slip into when it’s the middle of the night and you’re dealing with a distraught child. She cautioned that everyone needed boundaries, even in grief. With Lucas, we talked to him together about the behavior that was expected of him at school. We took away his tablet for a day as a punishment and urged him to talk to us instead of holding things inside.

Lucas resisted our efforts and was sullen for a few days. It broke our hearts even though we knew we had done the right thing. I told Miller that I thought maybe Lucas needed some physical activity to help him work through his frustrations. He told me that Lucas played t-ball the previous year and he loved to swim. I signed us up for a family pass to the YMCA the next day during lunch. That night, we took the kids to the pool at the Y before dinner. The physical energy was just what he needed. Later when we tucked him in, he broke down and cried before he told us everything that was on his mind. He laid his head on Miller’s shoulder and let loose his sorrow.

“I miss mom and dad so much. I miss mommy’s singing and daddy’s laugh.”

“I do too, Lucas.” Miller laid his head on top of Lucas’s. His eyes met mine and I could see how much it hurt him to see his nephew suffering so much. I wished I could do something to make them all better, to take the pain away, but I knew it wasn’t possible. I had been down this road myself and it would take a very long time before sorrow didn’t overshadow everything we did.