Perfect Fit: Book 4 of the Fated Hearts Series (18 page)

I burst into laughter over the thought of using that ridiculous word. I promised I’d never say such a thing then I turned my attention to the endearing thing he had said prior to his threat. I was so overwhelmed by the emotions his words stirred inside me that I said the first thing that came to my mind, unfortunately it was a famous line from the movie
Jerry Maguire
. “You complete me.” I wanted to take them back and tell him something sincere from my heart, but his arms wrapped around me, holding me tight and his laughter rumbled in his chest before it spilled out. I had never heard him laugh so hard and I would’ve been offended, but his next words assured me that he wasn’t laughing at me – just near me.

“You had me at hello, Bones.”

From that moment on, we would frequently use movie lines to communicate. My favorite was when he left my house one morning to go to work and he said, “Bye, Felicia,” before he left. That line from the movie Friday had become part of pop culture and was hard to follow up but I did my best.

“It’s Britney, bitch.” Okay, so I quoted Britney Spears’s music and not a movie, but the laugh followed by the smiling kiss told me it was still hilarious.

“You got me this time, Bones.” Jag’s lips lingered on mine and I began to wonder if he would end up late for work again.

I was happy, ridiculously so and it came as no surprise to me that Gray noticed the smile I couldn’t wipe off my face when we met for lunch in early September. “The unthinkable has happened,” he said smugly. “Miller Brexler has fallen in love.”

“You’re an idiot.” I should’ve been honest right then, but something held me back. It felt an awful lot like fear to me and for the life of me I didn’t understand what I was fearing. Losing Gray’s friendship? Losing Jag if I pushed for more than he was willing to give? I found myself in unchartered waters and had no fucking clue what to do. “I’m not in love.”
Deny. Deny. Deny.
It was the name of the game that I created and I hated every second that I kept it going.

Gray threw up his hands and just shook his head all the while wearing his smug grin. I loved the guy as much as I loved my brother, but I was ready to punch him in the mouth right then. “I know you usually go to the family cabin with your family for Labor Day weekend, but I still wanted to extend an invite for our party to you.” I was grateful for the change of subject, but once again I was angry at myself for not telling him the whole truth.

“I am going to the cabin with the fam, but I appreciate the invite.” I conveniently left out the part where I was taking Jag with me or that I had already introduced him to my family.

They were instantly smitten with Jag once they saw how much Luke and Lily, who had hung out with us on several occasions, loved him. My mom greatly admired his pursuits for equal rights and my dad liked the way he made me smile and laugh. My mom even cut out an article that was written about him and framed it for Jag to hang in his office. Yet, I said nothing to Gray. It was a stupid move that could have cost me everything.

My Labor Day weekend with Jag and my family was absolutely perfect. He was comfortable around my family and unafraid to show affection to me. Sure, we couldn’t go at each as hard as we wanted to at night with a cabin full of people, but that was okay because the tender way he took me was even better. I missed being able to shout out his name when he made me come, but he made it worth it when he captured my sounds with his mouth.

The following weekend was to be the final barbecue of the year at the Wright’s. In fact, it was the last barbecue they’d be having at that house period. They were in the process of buying a new house together that they hoped to one day fill with little rug rats. I hoped that every one of their dreams came true because they deserved it.

I woke up the morning of the party and decided no more hiding and no more games. I would’ve told Jag my thoughts right away but it was hard to think coherently with my morning wood in his mouth nor could I properly verbalize my intentions when I had a mouthful of his erect penis when I returned the favor. It was my favorite way of starting the day so I waited until we were in the shower before I brought the party up.

“Let’s ride together.” Jag had been rinsing the soap out of his hair while I swirled my finger through the suds that were sliding down his body. I looked up and found him stopped in mid motion with his hands still in his hair. “No more hiding, okay. I promised you months ago that I would tell Gray about us and today is the day.” My voice sounded firm and confident and after a few minutes of self-evaluation I realized that I truly meant what I said.

“Bones, I know it’s an awkward position to be in, but I think you’ll find that Gray is okay with us. He and I have formed a truce since the wedding and it’s going to be okay.”

“I don’t think it’s so much Gray knowing that gives me pause. I introduced you to my family and believe it or not their opinions count more than Gray’s.” I took a deep breath while I searched for the right words to say to him. “My problem is that I don’t want outside influences putting pressure on what we have, Jag.”

“What do you mean by putting pressure on us?” He asked after he finished rinsing his hair. “Like for a commitment or something?” He didn’t look or sound squirrelly over the C word, but he was really good at hiding what he was really feeling. There was only one way to find out how he felt.

“Jag, we’ve been committed to each other for a long time whether or not the words have been spoken.” He nodded his head in agreement, but waited for me to say more. “I really love what we share. We understand and get one another. I can’t help but feel that we’ll start acting differently once everyone knows about us and starts expecting certain things from us.”

“It’s that phobia of slapping a label on us and watching it crumble. I understand how you feel, but aren’t you and I in charge of us? If someone asks when you’re going to make an honest man out of me then you can simply tell them to mind their own business or tell them that I’m already an honest man. Right?”

“True,” I replied, but I suspected it wouldn’t be that simple.

“We can tell Chase and Gray together if you want. Chase is going to be pretty upset that I didn’t trust him enough to share this part of my life with him. Gray won’t be the only one with hesitation and hurt feelings.” He had a valid point and it was one that I didn’t stop to think about while I worried about covering my own ass.

“Let’s do it after the party. We’ll tell them once everyone else has gone home. It’s obvious that Ben and Xavier didn’t say anything to them or they would’ve said something to us by now. Why do you think they kept it quiet?”

“They probably figured it wasn’t their place to tell.” Jag shrugged his shoulders and then added, “Or, they didn’t want everyone to know that they were heading to the bathroom for the exact same purpose.”

We arrived at the party later that afternoon together, but it didn’t seem like anyone noticed or cared if they did. The weather was gorgeous so the majority of us stayed outside and socialized. I went inside to use the bathroom and Jag followed me to grab some more lemonade. We found Xavier and Chase standing together and gossiping while they looked to be preparing some food. By their conversation, it was obvious as fuck that they didn’t overhear us come through the back door.

“I’m serious. There was no mistaking what JJ and Miller had just done in your bathroom.” Jag and I froze in place at hearing Xavier drop the bomb on us. Jag recovered first and pointed to the hallway where we could listen without being seen. “Ben and I got the impression that this wasn’t the first time either. JJ made a comment to Ben at the charity event that Miller wanted me and he always got everything he wanted. It was said as if JJ had personal knowledge of just how convincing Miller could be.”

“Ben ought to know,” Chase said snarkily and then gasped at what he just told Xavier. I listened as Xavier explained that he had known about Ben and me and it didn’t bother him. I had never told JJ about the one night I had with Ben and the fear that he might be upset made me sick to my stomach. I missed the rest of what else they said, because Jag whipped me around and silently pushed me up against the wall.

“It doesn’t matter,” he whispered, as if he could read my mind. “Our pasts are just that – the past.” He lowered his lips and kissed me softly until all of my tension melted.

“Miller and JJ, huh?” Chase asked, pulling our attention back to the other men. “Well, they have gotten closer since Gray and I met. They’re kind of thrown together at these things since they’re the only two swinging dicks left. So, you get the impression that they’ve been screwing each other a long time?” We may have started out screwing each other, but it changed to something much more meaningful then anyone would have guessed. It bothered me to hear Jag and I described in that way.

“Where’d they go?” Xavier asked and we realized they had looked back outside and saw that we were missing. “Oh man. I bet they’re in here fucking again.”

“Let’s have some fun,” Jag whispered in my ear. He tugged me behind him until we closed ourselves in the bathroom. Jag pushed me against the vanity and I slammed my hands on the counter to make a thumping noise.

“Ohhhh, damn that feels so fucking good, JJ.” I moaned and groaned like he was really putting it to me. I looked at his reflection in the mirror and saw the wicked gleam in his eyes. He started banging his body against mine for sound effect.

“You like that, Miller? Right there?”

“Fuck yes,” I cried, doing my best porn impersonation, “but harder, J. I need it harder.” Jag continued to pound away in his simulation fuck. I tried so hard to remind my body that we were only playing around, but my dick started to swell anyway. “J. Oh, Fuck! Harder, baby.”

Jag let out a long groan as if he was coming hard and filling me. Then he put his finger to his lips as he stealthily reached for the door. He turned the knob suddenly and jerked the door open so fast that it was amazing Chase and Xavier didn’t fall into the bathroom with us.

“Caught you didn’t we, you little fuckers,” I said playfully as I jabbed at Chase’s stomach with my fists.

“You little Gossip Gays were so busy yapping you didn’t hear us walk in. We stood there listening to you talking about us having sex.” Jag looked at me and then back to the guilty looking busybodies. “What we are or aren’t doing is our business, ladies.”

Jag hooked his arm around Xavier’s neck and pulled him into a headlock then began to give him noogies. Xavier began to struggle against Jag and it didn’t dawn on me that he was in distress until he started making panicked noises in the back of his throat.

“What’s going on in here?” Gray said, appearing in the hallway. His voice was full of mischief rather than suspicion, which was a good sign.

“JJ and Miller are trying to talk us into a foursome,” Chase joked. “See, J is trying to pull X into the bathroom.”

“Let go of him, JJ.” Ben had entered the hallway and didn’t like what he saw. Jag immediately let go of Xavier and I was shocked to see Xavier struggling to pull air into his lungs because Jag hadn’t been holding him that tightly. Ben took Xavier into a loving embrace and asked, “Can we have a private moment please?” He didn’t wait for an answer before he shut the door.

We all stood staring at each other wondering what the fuck had just happened. Jag looked mortified that he upset Xavier so badly. Xavier’s reaction was not a normal one and I could tell by the look in Jag’s eyes that he was sympathizing with whatever X was going through. I reached out for his hand and leaned into him for a kiss.

“He’ll be okay. Ben will calm him down and then you can talk to him.” Jag was too upset to reply, but he nodded silently in acknowledgment. It was then that I could feel Chase and Gray’s eyes on us. Gray looked shocked while Chase stood there smiling at me. “Gray, can we go somewhere and talk privately?”

“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.” He turned on his heel and left me standing there with Chase and Jag. I kissed Jag once more and patted Chase on the shoulder as I followed after my best friend who went upstairs to their guest bedroom. “How long has this been going on between you?” He asked as soon as I walked into the room.

“A year.” I factored in the months that we had sex before our agreement. I was his from the word go.

“
A year?
” He ran his hands through his hair and looked at me with accusing eyes, but what was he accusing me of exactly? “You’ve been dating for a year and you’ve not told me? Why would you keep something like that from me, Miller?”

“We’re not
dating
,” I said, correcting him.

“Fucking then,” Gray countered with a sneer.

“Stop!” I didn’t like Gray’s tone one little bit. I took a deep breath to keep my composure. “Jag and I don’t like labels on what we have and we really don’t feel like we owe anyone explanations. We’re both consenting adults, Gray.”

“Jag?” I gave him a look that let him know I wasn’t going to take any crap from him. “Why the secrecy if neither of you care what others think?”

“I didn’t think you could handle it.” He looked taken aback by my honest answer. “You were convinced that Jag was a horrible person who was trying to steal Chase back away from you. I didn’t know how long Jag and I would last and I didn’t think it was worth upsetting you if it turned out to be a brief fling.”

“And now?” Gray had lost the skeptical, judgmental look and tone.

“I care very deeply about him.” I swallowed hard to dislodge the emotional lump that was stuck in my throat. “He’s very important to me and I would appreciate it if you could just accept that I’m happy with the way things are with Jag and support me.”

Gray studied me for a very long time, which had me squirming. I loved Gray with all my heart, but it was nothing close to what I felt for Jag. “I knew you’d fallen in love,” was his response.

“Gray, I…”

“I know love when I see it, Miller. You can run and hide from it, but sooner or later you’ll have to acknowledge it or chance losing it. Say what you will about your ‘no labels’ lifestyle, but eventually one or both of you will want some sort of definition on how you feel about one another. You know what?” Gray asked as he hooked his arm around my neck. “It’s all worth it.”