Perfect Freedom (44 page)

“Darling Robbie. Don't say a word until I tell you I adore you. It's happened. I fought it all last night but I'm a prisoner, of my unnatural passion. Now tell all. Where did you find him? I knew there was some explanation for your not appearing last night. You
are
a wicked darling. I'm not only
bouche-bée
but consumed by
jalousie
.”

Robbie laughed while his cock stretched and hardened. “You needn't be. There's no hope for either of us. My father brought him. I wanted to come see you but I couldn't keep my eyes open. He's going to be staying here from now on.”

“Here? With you? I'll go slit my wrists. It runs in the family.”

“Please don't. I've seen him naked. There wasn't a quiver.”

“Is it enormous?”

“How could I tell if he's not interested in me? It looked as if it might be.”

“My word. Naked. I couldn't've kept my hands off it even though you've cured me of him. I've fallen in love with you, darling. This time it's real. I wanted you to be the first to know.” Edward's eyes moved over him and his face was suddenly grave. “I've never wanted anybody so much in my life. Will we have a little duet later?”

“God, yes. I'm ready now. If you talk to him, be careful not to say anything that'll give him ideas about us. I don't want him to know about me. He wouldn't like it.”

“The agony of being a persecuted minority. I'll try to behave, darling.”

The party pursued its successful course. More substantial food appeared and was. consumed with cries of gluttonous pleasure. Boldoni hadn't lost his touch. Toni took his model down for a swim and was followed by others including Anne and Edward. Robbie discovered that one of the guests was a well-known painter and conversed with him and his wife for some time. People came and went in groups as Helene conducted tours of the house.

Robbie was talking to his mother when Toni reappeared wearing his tight pants and loose blouselike shirt. He put a hand on Robbie's shoulder and offered him his enchanting smile.

“I'm going to town to pack,” he explained. “Michèle has a car. She's taking me. I'll be back by six.”

Robbie moved closer to him with a hand on his waist to detain him. “I've heard people talking about Mrs. Rawls' party tonight. Are we going?” he asked his mother.

“Oh, I know her,” Toni said. “She invited me several days ago. Is it tonight? I meant to check.”

“In that case, we all might as well go,” Helene said. “If we don't, she'll just go on inviting us until we do.”

Robbie absently allowed his hand to become caressing. He caught himself and hastily turned the caress into a little pat and let go. “Okay. I'll be waiting to help you move in.” He watched the graceful swing of Toni's body as he left. Helene saw that his eyes were bewitched when he turned back to her and gave her a kiss.

“He's fascinating,” she said. “He's remarkably unspoiled. He's crazy about you. He says he wants to be your friend.”

“I have no objection.” He squeezed her hand and hurried away to look for Edward. The coast was clear to launch their affair. Planning to do it in what was practically Toni's bed didn't seem quite right but he would need plenty of sex with Edward if he expected to forget about sex with Toni. He found the admiral's party strewn out along the beach, sitting and lying about as if they were there for the day. Edward sat up lazily and reached for Robbie's hand and pulled him down beside Anne.

“How sweet of you to come see us, darling. Have you noticed how well behaved I've been? I haven't clung to you like a limpet. Just being able to look at you from time to time made my cup runneth over.”

Robbie glanced around to make sure nobody but Anne was within earshot. “I'm thinking about music. Do you want to come see my house?”

“I long to. Come on, darling,” he added to Anne.

“But—”

“She knows what we're going to do, darling.”

“Haven't you grasped what a blessing in disguise I am?” she asked Robbie. “If people think I'm with you, they won't suspect you of indulging your boyish fancies.”

“But you
will
be with us. Then what?”

“If you have a whole house, there must be a corner where I won't be in anybody's way.”

Robbie realized that it made sense. He could carry it a step further and ask her to pretend to be his girl for official purposes. They all stood and shook sand off and left. Edward paused to admire the statue. Anne was right. They made an innocent trio as they wandered on down the glade toward Robbie's house.

“Last night was quite fatal,” Edward said when they reached the cover of the terraced citrus groves. He draped himself lightly around Robbie as they climbed. “If you'd been with me, I might've kept my head. Alone, I was at the mercy of my mad desire. I think that's what makes people fall in love—being deprived of their loved one. I imagine if you're with someone all the time you might fall in love without even. noticing it. Anne can tell you how I suffered.”

“He looked quite haggard by bedtime,” she said from ahead of them.

Robbie kissed the side of his face. They hugged each other and laughed. Robbie couldn't help wishing that this was Toni, but Edward's physical elegance had an appeal of its own.

“Well, this
is
a little bit of all right,” Anne commented when they entered the living room. “What a lucky child. Is there a bedroom? Of course. And you even have a terrace. That's where I'll be.” She effaced herself with sisterly tact.

They moved in against each other and kissed until Edward drew back with glazed and spellbound eyes. “Oh darling,” he whispered gravely. “I do love you.”

Robbie's heart swelled with gratitude. He was old enough to be loved at last. Edward cared about him more than anybody else in the world. He found it rather awesome. He touched his lips with his fingertips and smiled hesitantly and led him to the bedroom and closed the door. Minutes passed in a slow-motion rediscovery of each other before they thought of removing their trunks.

“Oh darling, don't let's come for hours,” Edward said. “It's too heavenly.”

The room gave them scope for invention. Edward worshiped his cock with a fervor that he recognized as equal to his own. Nature intervened when they could no longer contain themselves and they lay on the floor in each other's arms, gazing at each other incredulously.

“That may not have been entirely civilized but it was utter bliss,” Edward murmured. “Your brown body is magic, darling.”

“Whatever it is, you make it that way.”

“What're we doing down here?”

“I don't know. It just happened. It's lovely and cool.” They burst out laughing.

Edward sprawled on his back with his arms flung out. “How I wish this were ours. I can't bear to miss a single minute of life with you. Are you frightened of war? I am. This may be the most perfect moment of my life. I've not only had glorious sex with a boy I love with all my heart but I'm also off that blasted boat. That's paradise enough.” He sat up and tossed his hair back from his forehead. Robbie pulled himself up against his back, kissing it as he cuddled in against it, and held him close. Their mouths met for a long indolent kiss. Robbie could feel how happy he made him. It was amazing being loved. Just by being here he satisfied all Edward's deepest desires. Life's mysteries were being slowly revealed to him. “Dear Lord, just
feel
you,” Edward said when their mouths parted. He ran his hands over Robbie's dark chest and shoulders. “You
are
a man. I'm sure there's some mistake about our ages. You
must
be older than I am. My lord and master.”

“I hope I fall in love with you. I don't know what it's like yet. I can't be really grown up until I do. Something's happening to me. There seems to be more of me for feeling things. Your saying you're in love with me makes me feel an awful lot for you.”

“I'll say it constantly, darling. I
am
in love with you. You have a lovely way of letting me know you want me. It's about to get hard again. You're divinely insatiable but shouldn't we go? The parents will be wanting to leave.” They picked themselves up off the floor and moved in against each other and kissed again standing up while Edward's hand encouraged Robbie's nascent erection. “Have you been invited to a party by that dreadful Rawls woman?” Edward asked with his lips moving against Robbie's.

“Yes. We're going. Toni too.”

“Then the evening won't be a total loss. Do you think we'll be able to let go of each other, darling?”

“I suppose we should.”

Anne's voice called from the other side of the door, “We ought to go soon, darlings.”

“Come in,” Edward called back, smiling into Robbie's eyes.

“Wait,” Robbie cried. He broke away and looked around frantically for his trunks. Edward moved in against him once more.

“It's all right, darling. Hide against me. I'm so happy that I want to share it with her.”

Anne entered. “There you are,” she said as if she'd just run into them on the street. “Are you having a lovely time?”

“We were,” Edward said. “We're just trying to disentangle ourselves from each other.”

“You don't look as if you're having much success. Why aren't you in bed?”

“We don't need anything so commonplace as a bed.” Edward's erection was lifting against Robbie's. Their hands began to move secretly on each other.

“Well, then. Come along,” she said sensibly.

Robbie liked her even under these trying circumstances. He realized that Toni gave him an excuse to make a point about reticence without sounding childishly concerned about his parents. “Now that Toni's here, you're not going to tell everybody I'm a poof, are you?” he asked. “He doesn't approve.”

“I was afraid of that, darling.”

“I wish you wouldn't say it about Edward, either.”

“You do rather overdo it, darling,” Edward agreed.

“Everybody knows and it happens to be one of the most interesting things about you, but if you want people to think you're as dreary as everybody else I won't say another word. If you're not making love, why go on standing there? The parents will be waiting.”

“Actually, we're making mad love even if you can't see it. We'll be with you in five minutes. There, be a lamb and close the door after you.”

Robbie remained dutifully with his parents until the last guests had departed. He left them discussing the party to return to his house to wait for Toni. Relaxed and sexually satisfied, he was more confident of being able to deal with the miracle of having his adopted brother as a roommate. He couldn't be in love with Edward if Toni filled his mind with impossible dreams, but he had a lover to count on for a regular sex life. Their desire was so simple to satisfy that it could happen almost anywhere, at any time, even at parties. Anne would be there to cover up for them. Tomorrow he would go to work.

He unpacked paints and brushes and laid them out on the worktable. He had half a dozen virgin canvases, sized and ready to go. He clamped one on the easel. He had been evolving some advanced and intricate techniques under the guidance of M. Monneret, the art teacher at school, and he was eager to find out what his eyes had learned in the last two months. His thoughts lingered briefly on his teacher. Maurice? Possibly. He understood things now that had meant nothing to him last winter. Actually, Maurice was rather like a grown-up Edward. He smiled to himself as he peeled off his trunks and went to the bathroom to shower.

He was wearing a dressing gown when there was a flurry outside the door and Toni and Felix appeared carrying bags. He saw only Toni. Toni's smile overturned whatever equilibrium he had achieved with Edward. “Here I am,” the dancer said, making a little gesture around the room.

“Wonderful. I hope there's room for all your things.”

“You know. Actors. We're peacocks. It isn't as bad as it looks. We don't have to open that bag. It's city clothes. Only this one's for here. It's hot.” He pulled his shirt off over his head and advanced to Robbie and put a hand on his shoulder. “You're not sorry you let me come?”

Robbie took a deep tremulous breath and hoped for the pounding of his heart to subside. He was here, no fantasy figure but a slightly sweaty, flesh-and-blood young athlete who was going to live with him. “Of course I'm not sorry. I've been waiting to help you unpack.”

“Thanks. Shall we take everything to the bedroom and sort it out there?”

“I've got this one.” Robbie grabbed a bag, eager to get him moved in so that he could begin to take his presence for granted; he had to stop trembling whenever he approached. They spread clothes out on the bed and Robbie took charge of putting them away. Toni watched him admiringly. He seemed so competent and well organized for a kid his age. It was at odds with the other side he sensed in him, the dark intensity that impressed, even awed him. There was a fire in him that he supposed might be artistic temperament. He sometimes worried that it was something he lacked. He still felt very much like the ordinary normal country boy he had started out being. Michèle had made him forget that he'd wanted to kiss Robbie's mouth but he still felt curiously possessive and protective of him.

“Isn't Michèle a knockout?” he asked as Robbie cleared the last things off the bed. “I think I'm going to get her.”

“I'll bet you get everybody you want.” Robbie kept his head in the closet and wondered if it sounded as if he were offering himself.

“I've been doing pretty well recently. What about you? Have you had lots of girls?”

Robbie hoped that Toni wouldn't be as tiresome about girls as Rico. He shifted clothes around in the closet and shrugged. “Not really.” He thought of Anne and experimented with the truth. “I've been naked with one or two.”