Pieces of Paisley (13 page)
“Why don’t you make sweet tea and salad? Neither of those are a staple of our dinner.” I am tempted to scream ‘Screw you’ at all of them, but then I remember I want something from my mom.
I start the tea and pull out the salad stuff from the refrigerator. “Hey, Mom. I have a favor?”
“How much is it going to cost me?” I laugh at her.
“Nothing, I promise.”
“Just spill it, Paisley.” She is getting frustrated with me.
“Since Rick and Kara are on leave for two weeks, and Jake leaves for Christmas leave, I was wondering if I could stay over at the apartment with him.”
She doesn’t immediately answer me. “Pais, I am not comfortable with you moving in with him.”
“I am not moving in with him. Just playing house for two weeks. Please, Mom. He just got home, this is the last time we will be totally in our world, all alone, for a long time.” I can tell she is relenting, so I add for extra measure, “We will eat over here twice a week for dinner and his duty nights I will be home so I am not alone.”
“Twice a week on top of the Sunday requirement.”
“Yes, Mom. But we aren’t staying all night. He has to leave earlier for work now that he lives so far from base.”
“Fair enough. Dinner will be ready by five so that gives you plenty of time to have conversation and food, then get home in plenty of time to rest.” Sometimes I am really lucky to have the mother I do.
“Thank you so much. I love you.”
“Love you too, Paisley.”
I run out into the living room where my step-dad and Jake are watching the game. I jump in his lap, and he chuckles at me. Bringing my mouth to his ear I whisper, “I have good news.” Raising his eyebrows at me inquisitively I let him in on the new arrangement. “I can stay with you for the next two weeks, except nights you have duty, then I am to be under this roof, and we have to have dinner here two nights a week plus Sunday.” I make sure to keep my voice low, as I am letting my mom explain that news to my step-dad after I am safely tucked away in Jake’s apartment and his arms later that night.
Dinner went off without a hitch, and I thank my lucky stars that my mom decided until we left to break the news to Marcus. She told me the next day she was afraid they were going to end up in the Emergency Room because she was sure his blood pressure was through the roof. He calmed down by the time I spent the night over there when Jake had duty. He wasn’t thrilled, but relented when I pointed out it was really not much different than me spending weekends over there, this was just an exception, not a regular thing.
The next two weeks fly by with us watching movies, cuddling, sex, eating, and cooking, sex, laughter, and more sex. The day has crept up on me, and now I am taking him to the airport to say good-bye, yet again. I know this time will be easier because we can talk as much as we want, and he is going to his mom’s and not a third world country. I hate we will be apart for Christmas, but I am also secure in the belief that we will have many more Christmases and holidays in our future spent together. It is much easier to kiss him good-bye this time.
“What, no tears this time, beautiful?”
“Nothing to cry about. I will miss you, but it is different this time.” I tell him exactly what I have been thinking.
“Still sucks. I feel I just got you back in my arms and now I have to let you go for a bit. I wish you could come home with me.”
“I wish I could too, but just think, we will have many more holidays to spend together. Eventually, we will have to split our holidays with our families and here is a hint . . . my mom prefers Thanksgiving, she is weird like that.”
He gives me his cocky smile and puffs his chest out. He is extremely satisfied with himself. “That is right, Paisley. We have a lifetime of holidays ahead of us. Love you.”
I give him one last kiss before I send him through security. “Love you, too.” I stand here until he disappears in the crazy crowd, and then I turn to go home and smile with myself that I snuck his present in his bag, and he was none the wiser. As I drive home, I crank up my radio and smile as I let the music float out in the air. I am so lucky and I promise not to take it for granted.
Chapter 12
Jake
Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.
I step off the plane and nostalgia hits me. I miss this place. It is where I grew up, and it is where I want to grow old. I know Paisley said we have a lifetime ahead of us, and I have two more years left in the Navy, but I wonder how she will feel about moving to Kansas. I don’t see me living anywhere else, and I hope she will be happy here. I have plans; complete my enlistment, marry Paisley, come home and join my dad’s security firm, live a full and happy life on a few acres and retire with the love of my life by my side. Kids used to factor in to my long-term goal, but not anymore. I always dreamed of a few kids, running around my legs, Sunday morning breakfasts, t-ball games, and football practices, whatever they wanted to do. Now I added Paisley to the equation, and it may sadden me to not add kids to our future, it is for the best. I love my mom, and she is an amazing woman, but watching her struggle and scrimp to raise me has tarnished the image of having kids. I know it would be different with Paisley and I because I would never leave her side, but Lisa happened . . . not something I dwell on, but not something I can forget.
I make my way down the terminal towards baggage claim, and I see my mom bouncing on the balls of her feet waiting to launch herself at me. I see Brian, my step-dad, right behind her beaming like a proud father. He didn’t come into my life until high school, but you would never know it by the way he treats me. It is almost as if he was my biological father. He bragged to his friends about my service to the country, he was at every football game in high school, helped me fix up my first car, and gave me advice on sex and girls. He basically did everything my dad didn’t. I barely have time to brace myself before my mom launches herself in the air and I catch her. Brian follows behind her and claps me on the shoulder, “Welcome home, Son.” It doesn’t bother me when he calls me that; it makes me feel worthy.
My mom is crying, “Jake, I have missed you so much. I am so glad you are home, I get so scared when you go on deployment.” I know this, she tells me often enough. I set her down and kiss her cheek.
“I am fine, Mom. It hasn’t been that long.” She had flown in to see me in April, right before I was put in the brig. I was in the hospital for a few days after the fight and my jaw was wired shut so she would make me smoothies I could drink through a straw. Although she didn’t voice her disappointment in me at the time, I saw it glimmering in her eyes. She was pensive, afraid to say what she wanted, and she hates my temper. I try to reel it in around her, but she will call me on my shit, more so than Paisley does. My mom is somewhat a pro at dealing with my anger. She has witnessed it on more than one occasion, but no matter what, she is there for me. That is why it is so important for her to like Paisley and leave the Lisa dilemma in the past.
“We planned for everyone to come over tonight for dinner, and that way you don’t have to go to everyone’s houses. The weather is supposed to be severe tomorrow.”
“Who is everyone, Mom?” I want to see most of my friends. Andy is at the top of that list. He dropped Mick as a friend as soon as he found out what went down and can’t even look at Lisa. A few other guys I wouldn’t mind seeing, but after high school and the shift in our group, most of us drifted apart.
“The usual, honey.” This is what disturbs me. The usual, that is vague, and the usual used to include Lisa and Mick. Although they aren’t together anymore, or weren’t last time my mom mentioned their relationship, you never know with them. I hope they can get their shit together because they have a kid to raise.
“Mom,” I try to not lose my temper, but she is making it hard.
“Oh, Jake. Cool it. She isn’t coming, and neither is he. Andy handled the invites.” She must have realized I was hanging on by a thread and put me out of my misery.
On the way home, Brian drives and I tell my mom all about my summer, meeting and falling for Paisley, her parents, my new living arrangements, and then I bust out the most recent pictures on my phone of Paisley and me. When I hear her intake of breath, I look at her.
“She is beautiful, Jake. She is innocent, yet a temptress. Good luck with that.” She chuckles.
“She is beautiful inside and out, Mom. She has given up so much to make this work with us. I know the age difference is huge right now, but she is older and wiser than her real age. She is giving, yet stubborn. Sweet, yet won’t be pushed around. I have a hard time getting her to open up with me, she is always hiding pieces of herself, and I am always looking for them.”
“You love her?”
“More than I ever thought possible.” I see her tears and as I am about to ask her what is wrong, she shakes her head at me and goes back to looking at photos. Maybe she is grieving because she finally realizes my past is staying in my past no matter how much she loved Lisa. Lisa was in my life for three years so she was a big part of my family. Hopefully, my mother is finally letting go of her dreams for me and accepting my new course in life.
I love walking in my front door. It is the only home I have ever known, and it is always consistent, nothing changes. My room is the basement. My mom and Brian converted it for my sixteenth birthday, and I have my own living room, bedroom, and bathroom. It afforded me privacy, a place to hang out with my friends, but allowed my mom to feel like I was always home. I have a very tight bond with my mom and have never doubted I am her number one priority. I drop my bags off and call Paisley really quickly.
“Hey, beautiful”
“Hi, babe. Did you have a good flight?”
“I did. I already miss you.”
“Hush. You are glad to be home without the ball and chain.” I can hear the delight in her voice and know she is joking with me.
“You are so right. That shit was getting heavy dragging it around behind me.”
“Jake Parker Grant, you better take that back.”
I pause for a few beats, make her sweat a bit. “Paisley Abigail Hull, you better believe that is the best weight I have ever had on me.”
“Hmmm . . . I seem to be on you quite a bit lately.”
“Don’t talk like that, you will make me hard, and I have to go socialize with my parents and friends shortly.”
“You better talk to Rosy Palm and her five sisters, then.” She is such a smart ass.
“Okay, funny girl. I just wanted to hear your voice and tell you I love you. We just got back from the airport, and I need to go visit with my mom before the crew comes over.”
“Who’s all coming over?” she asks me in an impatient huff. I hear the uncertainty in her question.
“Just some friends. I know Andy will be here for sure. What are you asking me, Pais?” I have told her so little about Lisa, barely mentioned her in passing. I tried to explain to her that it wasn’t because I was still pining away, but the fact I didn’t want to tarnish our relationship with talk of her.
“You know what I am asking you, Jake.” I want her to voice her concerns, know that she can feel how she wants and never be afraid to be straight with me.
“I think I do, but I want you to be the one to talk to me about it. Voice your concerns and doubts. Remember, all in, complete honesty.” This is going to be our biggest challenge. I don’t know where her reasons come from, but she hates rocking the boat. She hates discussing how she feels. Hell, I think she hates having feelings, at all.
“Fine, Jake,” she spits at me. I can hear the venom laced in her voice, “is your ex-girlfriend going to be there?”
“Calm down, beautiful.” I hate not being able to look at her and reassure her. “As far as I am concerned, she isn’t welcome. My mom said Andy put it together, and we both know he wouldn’t do that to me.” She knows how close Andy and I are. She has talked to him on the phone, and I think he has a slight crush on my little she-devil.
“Sorry for being a whiny bitch. I hate feeling like this. I know you are where you need to be, but I feel like the last two weeks flew by and the three weeks before that was a lifetime.”
“Hey, don’t call my girlfriend a bitch. And we have the next five months together. No deployments, and besides we are kind of shacking up on the weekends, now.” I try anything to draw her out of this mood. She was fine when I left her at the airport. Sometimes I wish I could climb in her head and understand what she was feeling, but I think I would be thrown into a never-ending cyclone and be more confused than I am now. “Ten days, and I will be home. Call me whenever you want. No matter what, I am available to you.”
“I’m not going to bug you while you are home. Just ignore me right now. I am feeling sorry for myself and have no reason for it. Just chalk it up to me being a girl; we get hormonal sometimes.” She is trying to convince me, but she is doing a shitty job.
“You are never a bother, and if you don’t call or text I will be worried. I can’t do this on my own here, Paisley. I need you to want this.”