Pregnant (2 page)

That means that he lied to me about everything. He lied about wanting to have kids with me, starting a family, and especially leaving Princess. I can't believe I was so stupid. I can't believe that I put some nigga above my best friend in the first place. Now I'm stuck in a situation that I don't know how to get out of. Pregnant by a man who not only disclaims my baby and wants me to get an abortion; but a man who’s a cold blooded killer, drug dealer, and a married man. I was trying to get some sort of sleep and also trying to forget about all of the events that had recently taken place when I felt the presence of someone else in my bedroom. I sat up quickly. Before I could even speak I felt something hit me in my already bruised and sore face. It was a wad of cash.

“Get rid of that shit”
was all he said and as he walked out the door I regretted ever meeting and falling in love with a monster.

“He doesn't deserve me---. I don't need him” was all that I kept repeating. A lone tear cascaded down my cheek as I threw the money against the wall.

“I DON’T NEED HIM!”

CHAPTER 2 (GINO)

Standing in the doorway is the woman that I despise with all of my heart. I hate the sight of her, the smell, the way she laughs, talks, and walks. Everything about that bitch irks the fuck out of me. Being around her is something that I rarely do. I always try to stop by when I know she’ll be gone but today she just had to come home early. A moment ago, over my shoulder, I heard the faint sounds of her dragging her feet up and down the hall. At this moment I can now feel her in my presence; standing in the doorway. She cleared her throat as if I’m supposed to turn around and acknowledge the fact that she’s here. If she thought that shit, then she's really as crazy as I thought. She cleared her throat again.

“I need about five hundred dollars Gino.” She stated but I ignored her by continuing to play with my niece.

“Didn’t you hear what I just said?” I could hear the irritation in her voice however I’m the one who should be irritated.

“Does it look like I care about what you said or not?”

“What did you just say?” She acquired as she walked closer to me.

I spun around to face her. “You heard what I said. Bitch I ain't stutter.”

“Watch how you talk to me young man. I am still your mother!” She yelled.

“Yeah right.” I slightly chuckled. “I don't have one of those.”
 

“You are in my house. So that means you can’t talk to me any way you want to. Nigga I made you. You came out of my pussy.” She said with a chuckle but I didn’t see anything funny about that.

My intentions were never to come over here and get into an argument with my so called mother but she always pushes me to my limit. It was only a matter of time before I snapped. “Man don't even play with me. I ain't come out of that dusty, dirty, loose pussy of yours. I came out of my daddy's dick! I still don't know what he was thinking when he married you either. He must have been drunk, high or both. You laid on your back so many times and spread your legs for so many dudes that it's no telling what in the hell is crawling around in there. All I know is that you better get out of my face. You will never get any money or anything else from me so stop begging. I don't even have respect for you so why would you think that I would do you a favor after all the shit you put me through?”

“But I apologized and Maria forgave me so why can't you?”

“Don't fucking bring Maria into this.”  

Maria is my sister. She died in a drive by shooting and I still regret that I never even got a chance to say goodbye to her. This happened over five years ago; I can't help that I miss her so much. We were so close. After all the mental and fucking physical torture our mother put us through we became closer than close. When she left this earth I was devastated. I didn’t let anybody know how I felt though. If I do, then it would probably ruin my reputation. I'm not just this cold blooded, cold hearted nigga that everyone thinks I am.

“It doesn't work that way mommy dearest! You can't just expect me to forgive you and move on with my life that easy. What you did was foul and you know it! I would never even wish that shit on my worst enemy! YOU MADE ME LIKE THIS! YOU MADE ME THE WAY I AM!”

She laughed. “Oh please! Calm the fuck down. It's not even that serious. It kept money in my pockets and food on the damn table. Not to mention clothes on you and Maria's back!”

“But we didn't want to. You forced us to do it!”

“Boy hush! Just give me the five hundred dollars and we can end this conversation right now. I have places to be, men to fuck, and----.” Her sentence got cut short when I punched her in her mouth. She damn near flew into the wall holding her mouth in the process. “You know what I should do?” I questioned getting in her face while removing my gun. I pointed it directly at her temple. “I should put a couple of holes in your worthless ass. Then maybe you'll feel the pain that we felt and all that we had to fucking endure.
”

“Do it since you're so bad.
”
She mumbled while blood dripped nonstop from her mouth.

“SHOOT ME MUTHAFUCKER!
-----Do it!” She yelled. I just starred at her in pure disgust.

My thoughts were pushed to the back of my mind when my niece started crying. I had completely forgot that Maya was still in the room. “You're not even worth it.”

I left her sitting in the spot where I’d knocked her the fuck out. Packing some clothes in Mya's bag, I scooped her up and made my way to the car. It's too dangerous for her to stay with me but at this moment I didn't want her nowhere near that bitch.

CHAPTER 3 (Kiara)

“Lady are you going in or what? You're blocking the damn door.” A voice rang through my ears causing me to spin around. It was a girl who didn't look over the age of seventeen. I saw a somewhat pudge in her stomach so I'm guessing that she came to do the exact same thing as me. Standing outside of the clinic, I just couldn't build up the courage to step foot inside of a place that was going to take the life of something so innocent growing daily within me.

“I'm sorry.” I apologized while stepping to the side letting her pass by.

“It's okay. I didn't mean to be rude. I just really want to get this over with.” She gave me a coy smile, prior to proceeding inside. I realized that because she was young, her parents were most likely making her abort her baby. She didn't have a choice; but I did. I could either get rid of the baby and move on with my life or I could walk away without even looking back. I glanced down at the money in my hands that Gino had given me and then back at the clinic. Deciding that I had made the right choice, I hurriedly made my way back to my car. I just couldn't go through with it. Before heading home I realized that I had to get something else off of my chest. Bernard Park was calling my name.

I haven't visited Bernard Park ever since I was a little girl; it brought back so many memories. All I knew was that even the droplets of rain couldn't stop me this time. I headed towards the lake and just stood there taking in the atmosphere and the scenery as well. It was beautiful. The rain soon mixed with my tears as they both cascaded down my face. With one hand on my belly, I used the other to snatch off the meaningless necklace that hung from my neck. Gino gave it to me the night he told me he loved me and I should have known that he was lying. How could I have been so dumb? I let the necklace slip through my fingers and into the water. “I don't need him. I never did and I never will.” I restated over and over again.

I just liked the thought of actually loving someone and having them love me back but look where that got me. No damn where! If Gino’s the best for me then I obviously didn’t look hard enough. There’s some one for every one and I pray that soon I will find my knight in shining armor.

Chapter 4 (Kiara)

I have been craving a double stack with extra cheese, mayonnaise, and onions; two large fries, and a large vanilla frosty from Wendy’s all day. Actually I’m so hungry that I could eat a horse. The drive-thru is packed and the line is damn near all the way around the corner. I would have waited if I knew that it was just as packed on the inside as it was on the outside. Clearly I failed to see the charter bus parked outside. It was filled with people who I'm guessing had come from out of town on some sort of trip. I silently sighed to myself, taking my place at the very end of the line.

“I might as well occupy myself while I wait.” I mumbled while retrieving my I-pod from my purse and placing the buds into my ears. Blasting Dominic Brown’s “”, one of my favorite songs, I hadn’t noticed that I’d dropped something. A tap on my shoulder caused me to slightly jump and turn around to see who the prosecutor was. I removed one bud from my ear to hear what she had to say.

“Excuse me---you dropped this.” She stated pleasantly with a smile showing off her deep dimples. I’d dropped some of the money that “you know who” gave me. It must have fell out when I took my I-pod out of my purse.

“Thank you so much.” I said taking the money from her.

“You're welcome---and might I add that those shoes are bad girl.”

“Thanks.” I thanked her for the compliment.

“Where’d you get them? “She questioned.

Before I could respond a very familiar face approached the two of us interrupting our conversation.

The mystery guy blurts out. “Baby let’s just go. I got to be somewhere in half an hour and----.”

“
JORDAN
?” I can't believe that my past is coming back to bite me in the ass. Leaving him was the hardest thing I ever had to do but I never thought that I would see him again.

FLASHBACK

“Don't you remember? You were running around the house butt naked covered from head to toe in flour pretending that you were a bird.” My mother had somehow managed to gather every one into a circle so that she could tell countless stories about the dumb things I did when I was a child. I'd only stepped foot out of the room for a moment to take the trash out but once I returned everyone just looked at me and then they all began to laugh. How in the hell did she end up centering the conversation topic on me? This is my sister
Synovia's
 baby shower; not mine. I guess since synovia’s her favorite she wouldn't dare to embarrass her in front of all of our family and friends. I huffed slightly prior to heading into my mom’s direction.

“Okay. It looks like someone had enough to drink.” I said to my mom.

“Enough to drink?” She questioned me. “I'm just getting started.” She yelled into my ear causing me to wince in pain. She also tried to finish drinking the remainder of whatever was left in her cup but I took it away from her. “Go into the kitchen and make yourself a cup of coffee.” I declared.

“You're no fun." My mother stumbled in the wrong direction so I had to follow her ass just to make sure she did what I asked. When I returned I saw Jordan standing slightly between Synovia’s legs whispering something into her ear that had her giggling.

“What's so funny?” I must have startled them because the both of them jumped.

“You scared me Ki-Ki.” She stated while rubbing her protruding belly.

At this point I had a scowl on my face. “I said what's so funny? I'd like to laugh too.” She looked at Jordan as if he was the one that was supposed to come up with the lie to tell me.

“Nothing baby. It was just a little inside joke. You probably wouldn't understand.” He simply shrugged. I was interrupted when they announced that it was time for Synovia to open her gifts. She sauntered away leaving Jordan and I alone.

“You wrapped the gift like I told you right?” I asked him.

“Of course.” He stated before sipping his drink.

“Good boy.”

I gave him a peck on the lips and he tried to slip some tongue into my mouth. “You can't be doing that in front of the parental units Jordan.”

He looked around and then back at me. “Man they ain't even fucking looking.” He tried again but I moved my face so he only caught my cheek. “What you doing?” He acquired while pulling me closer.

“I said no babe; trust me-----I'm going to reward you later. Don't worry.” I winked at him.

“You better.” Jordan pulled me back towards him once I tried to walk away. I couldn't help it. I gave in. I ended up giving him a little tongue action. Right under the mistletoe.

“Did you think about what we were talking about last night?” He asked once we pulled away from the kiss.

“Yes.”

“So what do you think?” He asked with a raised brow.

“I think that----that----.” He cut me off with a confused look upon his face.

“That what?” He was becoming impatient waiting on my response.

“That I'd absolutely, positively love to be Mrs. Houston.” As soon as I said that I saw a big ass Kool-Aid smile appear on his face. 

“We need you over here Ki-Ki.” Princess yelled.

“We'll talk more about it later.”

One last kiss is what I gave him before I disappeared into the crowd. Synovia opened all of her gifts and every one congratulated her and Malcolm; her so called baby daddy. When the clock struck 12:00 a.m. it was officially Christmas; and officially the 5th Christmas that I'd shared with Jordan.