Reason to Breathe (22 page)

I tried to blink away the wetness in my eyes.
Sara stood up and opened her arms to hug me. I stood as well, and I
let her without tensing.

She pulled away and smiled, wiping the tears
from her cheeks again. “Let’s get one thing straight,” she said
looking me in the eye with all seriousness, “if you ever call me a
slut again, I will never speak to you. I know what I’m doing, so
stay out of it. Got it?”

“Yes, I got it,” I promised sincerely. “I am
still really sorry about that.”

“I know,” she replied, grabbing my hand. “And
I’m sorry I threatened to expose you. I understand why you’re doing
this. I hate it - I’m not going to lie. But I’m here for you, no
matter what.”

This time, I hugged her tightly.
“Thanks.”

16.
The Plan

We walked
to the cafeteria together. When we neared the entrance, Sara said,
“We have to come up with a plan.”

“What kind of plan?”

“You deserve to be happy. I’ve noticed how
much more relaxed you’ve been since Evan’s been a bad influence.
So, let’s figure out a way for you to get into college, survive
living with your aunt and uncle, and still have fun.”

“That sounds impossible,” I said, shaking my
head.

“We’ll be smart about it,” she winked.

“You did not just wink at me.”

“Shut up,” she said, playfully shoving my
arm. Thankfully not the arm with the fresh bruise.

When we were seated at the lunch table with
our trays of food, Sara continued with her thoughts. It was obvious
that she’d given this some attention before today.

“Okay, you and Evan have already started
doing what I have in mind. You know, with pushing your “at school
time”, and going to the library. I think we can try to expand it to
a Friday or Saturday night so you can stay over my house. It will
definitely work the nights you have basketball games, but the game
will take up most of the night and not give us much time to do
anything else. I have to figure out an excuse that they’ll buy to
get you out of their house as much I can.”

She was right - I was already stretching the
little freedom I had when I claimed to be at school or the library.
What was another night? Then I remembered Carol’s suspicious
interrogation, sending an icy chill down my spine as the doubt
settled in. How was I going to get away with this?

“But Emma,” Sara stated seriously, “if you
ever get caught, I will not let her hurt you. I will tell my
parents, or call the police, before I allow you to get hurt for my
plan. Okay?” From the stern look upon her face, I knew she meant
it.

“Okay,” I whispered, knowing I’d never let it
happen. “Sara, while we’re talking about that – you have to trust
me.” I could tell she didn’t quite understand. “I know what I can
handle. Even though it’s not right, it’s the way things are until I
can get out of their house. So you have to trust me when I don’t
tell you what happens sometimes, okay?”

Sara paused for a moment, absorbing my words.
“Emma, always be honest with me.” I connected with her penetrating
eyes and nodded slightly – again knowing I wouldn’t.

On our way back up to our lockers, Sara
turned to me and asked eagerly, “Are you and Evan officially dating
yet?”

I rolled my eyes. “That still will not
happen.”

“I don’t understand why not,” she teased.

Sara’s smile got bigger when we found Evan
waiting at my locker. He released a smile when he saw Sara walking
with me.

“Hi Sara,” he said, still smiling.

“Hi Evan,” she greeted, smiling back.

“Ready for Journalism?” he asked. “Oh, Em, do
you think you’ll be able to finish with the paper during class and
study period so that maybe we can do something after practice?”

“That’s perfect,” Sara interjected, before I
could answer. “Let’s go back to my house and get pizzas and hang
out.” She was thrilled to have an accomplice in
Operation:
Free-Em
. She was almost jumping up and down.

Evan took in her over joyous response with
pause, having no idea what Sara and I had been discussing during
lunch.

“Sara’s trying to come up with a plan to
expose me to the world outside of school and my house, and you’re
just feeding into it,” I explained.

“That’s always been
my
plan,” Evan
admitted. Sara beamed.

“I hope I know what I’m getting myself into,”
I said with a sigh and a roll of my eyes.

“The chance to live a little,” Sara offered,
barely able to contain her enthusiasm.

“So
you
say,” I grumbled. She laughed.
I loved having her back.

After practice, Evan and Jason followed us to
Sara’s.

While we were in the car, I told Sara, “I’m
so sorry you and Jason didn’t go to homecoming. I can only assume
it was my fault.”

Sara scoffed, “Don’t even worry about it. I
really didn’t want to go and Jason is so shy, he would’ve been
mortified to have to wear the crown on stage.” I still felt bad for
being the reason she missed out on such a huge moment.

“How was the ride home with Lauren
yesterday?” she asked, changing the subject.

“Exhausting,” I sighed, which made Sara
laugh. “I didn’t realize anyone could talk so much or so fast.”

“She’s so nice, but yeah, she likes to go on
and on about anything and everything.”

Sara’s house was dark when we pulled up.

“My parents went out to dinner
again
,”
she observed with a heavy breath.

The next few hours epitomized everything Sara
wanted for me. We ate pizza, listened to music, played video games,
and laughed. The laughter filled up the hollow hole, and my heart
returned to its proper place in my chest, putting me back together
again.

Not wanting to risk it, I decided it was best
to leave around nine o’clock. Evan volunteered to drive me home.
Sara hugged me good night and said she’d see me in the morning.
Evan looked up from putting on his jacket when she said this.

“I liked picking you up,” Evan admitted when
we stepped outside. “Although you were less talkative than usual, I
actually looked forward to seeing you first thing in the
morning.”

“Sorry. You’ll have to be satisfied with
seeing me in just about every class instead.”

“It’s good that you and Sara are okay,” he
said during the drive to my house. “How’d it happen?”

“I made her listen.” He smiled at my
response.

~~~~~

The next week continued like the time without
Sara was just a hiccup. Sara and I were inseparable again. Evan
still walked me to class, but became absent during the second part
of the day when I had lunch and study with Sara. I noticed the
first couple of days and couldn’t figure out why I was bothered by
it.

We did things together as the three of us,
and occasionally four when Jason joined after school. Coach let us
watch the second half of the guys’ quarter final game on Thursday,
which they lost. Evan was crushed, but he recovered when I told him
that I wasn’t expected home until nine o’clock.

Weslyn won the soccer game that Friday with a
score of four to three. I contributed two of the scores, which was
fortunate since three scouts were in attendance. I was assured by
Coach Peña that I played well and that I’d be hearing from them. I
could only hope.

Sara joined Evan and me that Sunday for our
library day. I think she was trying to make up for lost time, which
made me happy. But I noticed the surprise on Evan’s face when Sara
pulled up behind his car. I don’t know what Evan had initially
planned, but once he saw Sara was joining us, he suggested we go
back to his place to play pool.

Sara and I were a team and played against
Evan. Of course, he still beat us. Despite his initial reaction,
Evan didn’t show any signs that he wasn’t happy to have Sara there.
While we played, Sara instigated a plan for the following weekend.
She figured I’d be able to sleep over at her house on Friday for
the championship game, assuming we won the semi-finals on Tuesday.
I wasn’t convinced since it was a five o’clock game and wouldn’t
warrant me having to stay out past my curfew.

Sara wanted to think of a way for me to stay
Saturday as well, so we’d have Saturday and then Sunday day
together. Evan glanced at me when she mentioned Sunday, but he
didn’t openly object. I let Sara go on with her pretend plans,
because I knew it wasn’t going to happen. The only day that had a
chance was my usual library visit on Sunday.

Everything changed that night when George
told me, “We’re taking the kids skiing next weekend. Janet said you
could stay with her.”

My stomach dropped. Janet lived two towns
away, and there was no way I would be able to play in the game on
Friday, forget about go to the library on Sunday.

“The championship game is Friday night,” I
said urgently. Carol glared at me.

“Maybe you’ll have to miss it,” Carol
snipped. “My mother is kind enough to let you stay with her; you
should be more appreciative.”

My chest tightened as the fire of nerves
twisted in my stomach. This could not be happening.

“Can I ask Sara if I can stay with her
instead?” I pleaded, looking directly at George, ignoring
Carol.

“That would be okay,” George agreed
reluctantly. I could hear Carol take in a breath.

“I’ll ask her tomorrow,” I said,
relieved.

“Why don’t you let me call her parents
tonight,” Carol interjected. “I want to be sure this is really okay
with them. I don’t want them to feel obligated to say yes if
you
ask.”

I still wasn’t concerned since I knew Anna
and Carl wouldn’t care if I spent the weekend. They’ve made it more
than clear every time I see them that I am welcome to stay whenever
I’d like. I tried to look worried, and suppressed my smile – I had
to appear miserable to stay under Carol’s radar.

After dinner, Carol called and spoke with
Anna. Of course Carol made a case for what an inconvenience I’d be
for two nights, but to her dismay, Anna was pleased to have me. I
knew Sara was going to be beyond excited to hear that we didn’t
have to come up with a lie for me to stay the weekend.

I wasn’t wrong. When Sara pulled up the next
morning, she was a burst of energy. I smiled at her enthusiastic
greeting. She was already trying to decide how we were going to
spend the weekend. She mentioned a party on Saturday night and
dismissed it as soon as she saw the blood rush from my face.

“I know,” Sara exclaimed while we walked down
the hall. “Want to have a sleep over on Friday night with some of
the girls from the team?”

“I don’t mind that idea,” I agreed, to her
surprise.

Sara was satisfied with Friday night’s plan,
even though the details still needed to be worked out. That
included making it to the championship game and winning.

Sara was still going on about the weekend
when Evan met me outside of homeroom.

“Emma’s staying over my house this weekend,”
Sara gloated, before disappearing down the hall.

“Really?” Evan mused as we walked to
English.

“My aunt and uncle are taking the kids skiing
in Maine for the weekend,” I explained.

“Then what are we doing this weekend?”

“I think Friday night is going to be a girls’
night. But I’m not sure about the rest of the weekend. You’ll have
to ask Sara. I think the planning’s out of my hands.”

I was so afraid the week was going to drag
now that I had the weekend to look forward to, but thankfully, it
sailed by.

Friday night’s plans were sealed after we won
the semi-final game on Tuesday. It was a close game, and we only
just won, scoring two points to their one. Lauren tipped in the
winning goal with less than a minute to play, perfecting her senior
year.

Lauren decided to have the team over after
the game on Friday, regardless of the outcome. Sara discretely
invited five of the girls to sleep over at her place after. I was
truly looking forward to the estrogen overload. I knew the girls on
the team and didn’t mind the idea of spending the night hanging
out.

We still hadn’t figured out what we were
doing on Saturday - that was until Wednesday afternoon, when the
decision was made by… me. I was standing at my locker getting my
books for Chemistry when I was approached by Jake Masters - the
same Jake who was friends with Evan, captain of the soccer team,
and who
winked
at me at Scott Kirkland’s party.

“Hey Emma,” he said casually, like we spoke
every day. “How are you doing?” He leaned against the locker next
to mine, giving me his full attention.

“Good, Jake,” I answered looking around,
making sure he was really talking to me. “How are you?”

Ignoring my question, he continued.

“Listen, I’m having a party on Saturday
night. It’s not going to be big, only about twenty or so people who
I really want to be there. And I really want
you
to be
there. What do you think?”

Before I could process what he was asking, he
added, “Oh, you can bring Sara or whoever with you if you
want.”

“Okay,” I said, without realizing I was
answering him.

“Great! Then I’ll see you on Saturday,” he
winked and walked away, leaving me stunned. I stood there for a
moment, glancing around, waiting for someone to tell me it was a
joke. And, what was up with the
winking
?! Seriously, it was
weird!

As we walked to Trig, I told Evan, “I know
what we’re doing Saturday night.”

Evan sighed and asked, “Great, what has Sara
planned now?”

“Actually,” I corrected, “I told Jake Masters
we’d go to his party.” I expected to hear him laugh at the irony of
me deciding to go to a party, but he was silent. I examined his
pensive expression.

“What?”

“Jake asked
you
to go to his
party?”