Save Me From Me (16 page)

All night, I’m super aware of where they are and try to avoid being near them or making eye contact, at all cost. I fail though. I’ve made eye contact with both of them, at separate times so far. When Gage finally notices me, he seems shocked and stiffens up. Almost like, ‘
oh shit, I’ve just been caught.’
That actually makes me feel better. I’d much rather he do it unintentionally, instead of him bringing her around to rub it in my face. But when Loralee catches my eyes, she makes sure to do everything in her power to spark fury within me.

Gage isn’t paying attention to her at all, but instead, is in full conversation mode with someone I assume is a buddy of his. They are both laughing and talking with their hands as they explain some story to each other. She takes that opportunity to snake her arms around him and let her hands roam down his body. He doesn’t swat her away or anything, which leads me to believe that it’s something he’s quite used to. That thought almost makes me sick. She has finally got him. After I left, she was finally able to sink her little manicured claws into my man — whom she had wanted the whole time I had him. That sucks to know. I know guys are wired differently and don’t take that shit into account when they hook up with chicks, but I really feel like, with her, Gage put thought into it. When he originally hooked up with her, he did it out of spite. Knowing he has been hooking up with the one person I prayed he never would, stings a bit.

But how dare I let any of it bother me. I’m the one who’s been calling all the shots. Therefore, I have no room to get mad or upset about any of it. I told him that I wanted to just be friends. I can’t string him around. I’ve been unknowingly doing it since I took off, way back when. I can’t let anyone see that I’m affected by her being here with him, so I tell Adyn that I need to go pee, and take off towards a secluded area in the woods. An area that I know has enough light that I won’t fall face first into a patch of stickers.

Making my way to the other side of the fire, I catch Gage watching me from the corner of my eye. He’s not the only one, but the other person is glaring. I cross my arms and quicken my steps. Once I’m far enough away, I brace myself against a tree and let out a heavy sigh.

“Danielle.” His voice is slightly above a whisper as he grabs my elbow.

I jump. “God, Gage. You scared the shit out of me.”

“Sorry, I wasn’t trying to. I just wanted to see how you’re doing.” I can barely make out his features because he’s turned away from the light of the fire, but his hand is still holding my elbow.

“I’m great.” I lie. “How are you? Enjoying the party? Your company?” I ask rudely.

“Dammit, if I had known you’d be out here, I would have never brought her.” He smacks the tree with his hand as he leans against it.

“Gage, you can hang out with whoever the hell you want. But, seriously, out of all people, you chose her? I hate her. You know that. But like I said, I can’t tell you who not to see. But you could have told me instead of hiding it.”

“That’s not fair Dani. You, not me, didn’t want to put a title on us. You aren’t willing to commit to me. I’ve been sitting around for the last ten years, getting over you the best I could, and now that I have you within my reach, you don’t want me. Do you have any idea how that feels? No, I’m sure you don’t. So, don’t blame me for wanting a little attention. It’s not like you haven’t been getting it somewhere else.”

He turns to walk off, but I’m too stumped by the last part of what he said to move. “Wait. What the hell do you mean that I’m getting it somewhere else? I’m not getting anything.”

As he glances back at me, I can now see the sadness prominent in his eyes. “I’m not fucking stupid, Dani. I see the way that guy looks at you, and I see the way you look at him.”

“What guy, Gage?” I ask.

“The guy you’re always meeting at the dock. The one who always stops by the store to flirt with you. The same guy that’s waiting out there by the edge of the bonfire.”

I know whom he’s talking about, but I didn’t see Holden out there. He must have showed up after I took off.

“I’m not getting anything, Gage. God, has it ever occurred to you that we’re just friends? I’m not a slut. Just because I’m not sleeping with you, doesn’t mean I’m sleeping with him. Too bad you can’t say the same.”

He avoids replying to that statement, and lets out a sarcastic laugh. “Ha. Just friends, my ass. Don’t you get it? He’s not sticking around, Danielle. Who’s gonna be here when he takes off? Me, that’s who. I’m the one who will always be here for you. Can’t you see that?”

I don’t answer. Words — I have none at the moment. Am I just supposed to be with Gage because he’s the one that will always be around? Is that what people do? Just settle?

I watch as Dani makes her way back towards the bonfire. She seems upset, and I’m sure it has everything to do with her
guy friend
that had followed her out there. I know he wants her, but from what I can tell, her feelings for him aren’t mutual. But who really knows what goes down when I’m not around.

Grabbing an extra beer, I walk in her direction, meeting her by a secluded spot near the bonfire.

“Thirsty?” I ask as I offer her the bottle.

She smiles and nods as she accepts it. “Yeah, thanks.” She takes a drink then asks, “What are you doing out here?”

I take a seat on the tree stump before replying. “Oh, Rusty wanted to come out here. We work with a couple guys that were coming. So, we met here.” I shrug.

“Well, I’m really glad you came,” she says, smiling before scanning the people around us. My eyes follow hers to where they stop momentarily. I instantly spot what has her so upset and want to put her in a better mood. I want to make her forget about him, and them, for tonight. If she’d let me, I’d do it permanently.

I stand up, take the bottle from her setting it down on the ground with mine. I offer out my hand to her, and she looks down at it then back up at me.

“Dance with me.” A slow smile creeps across her face as she places her hand in mine. I pull her into me closely as I settle one hand on her back, and hold our joined hands out to our side as we two step around our little secluded area. “Don’t let it bother you,” I whisper in her ear. She looks up and just nods, so I continue. “He’s hurt, Dani. That’s typical hurt guy bullshit. Of course, he’s going to hang out with someone that makes your skin crawl. He wants to prove that you still care.”

“But I don’t. I mean, that’s not the point. I just hate her and—”

I stop her from continuing by placing my finger against her lips. “Listen. It’s okay for you to care. You should. Don’t ever feel like you have to defend your feelings. But I know if you felt half of what he feels for you, you’d be over there with him and not with me. He knows that, too. That’s why he’s in a pissy mood and not even paying attention to that girl you hate so much.”

“Holden, do you ever think you should just settle?” she asks, totally catching me off guard.

“Do you mean with people or just life in general?” I ask, because there are many ways we can settle in life. We stop dancing, and I watch her as she looks over my shoulder to where everyone else is partying. I know she’s not looking at anyone particular, but more like just looking out into space while gathering her thoughts. I pull her along with me back to the stump, and I take a seat. I pat my leg for her to sit down. She’s a bit hesitant at first. “Come on, Hot Shot. I won’t bite.” I wink.

“Fine.” She rolls her eyes. “Since you insist.”

I place my hands around her waist and feel her shiver from the contact. Maybe it was a bad idea having her this close. I’m not sure that I’ll be able to keep my hands from roaming all over her body. I know a really good way to get her mind off of douche bag. I slide one hand down her hip to her knee.

She grips her legs together as if she’s trying to keep herself from squirming, and says, “I guess with both. Do you ever think there comes a time when you just should, or do you think you should always hold out for something better?”

I sigh as I push her falling hair behind her ear so I can see her face better. “I used to think that some people just get stuck with the shitty end of the stick and just have to make do with it. That maybe they missed their one and only chance at real happiness, and then have to suffer the consequences for not realizing what could have been.”

“Do you still think that?”

I smile and shake my head. “No, not at all.”

“Well, what changed your mind?”

“You’ll laugh and think I’m corny,” I admit.

“No I won’t.” She smacks my shoulder. “Tell me.” She intently watches me, waiting for my reply.

“You changed that. Meeting you has made me realize that I don’t have to settle. It’s made me realize that happiness is still in the cards for me. Now my job, on the other hand, I’ve settled there big time.”

“Everything you just said? I agree. I hate that I feel this way, but if I got back with Gage, I’d be settling. Yes, I could love him, and he’d make me happy, but I’d just be content. I don’t want that. It’s what’s always been expected of me. I think when I took off after high school, it was because I didn’t want to be what everyone was expecting me to be. Not that I have anything to show for it, but still, I had to prove to myself as well as everyone else that I could do it. But now that I’m back, they just expect me to fall back into it all again, and that’s not what I want. There are certain things I have no control over, but the one thing I do have full control over, I want to keep a tight grip on the reigns.”

“So where does that leave me and you?” I ask her, wanting to get a feel of how far this will go or she’ll allow.

She breaks eye contact with me, and then starts fidgeting with the bottom of her shirt before looking back up. “I don’t know, Holden. All I know is that I like you, and I really like spending time with you, but it scares me.”

“It scares me too, Hot Shot. But we’ve either got to embrace it, or let whatever this is, or could be, go before either one of us falls too deep.”

“I don’t want to let it go.”

Those words right there are my undoing. No longer will I be able to hold back when it comes to this woman.

“Good, because I don’t think I’d be able to.” I pull her in for a kiss. I wish this girl had a clue what she does to me. Hell, I’m still trying to figure it out myself. All I know is that I don’t want it to ever end. “So, who’d you come out here with?” I ask as I let my fingers drift back and forth along the edge of her knee.

“Umm, my coworker Adyn and her fiancé.”

“And who are you leaving with?” I whisper in her ear as I let my hand slowly inch its way up. My palm rests against the top of her leg as my fingers glide along the inside of her thigh.

She whimpers in response. I bury my head in the crook of her neck as I trail kisses from the base of it back up to her ear.

“Who are you leaving with tonight, Dani?” I kiss right below her ear before taking her lobe in my mouth and lightly biting it.

Moaning, she replies, “You! I’m leaving with you.”

“That’s what I thought,” I say before claiming her lips. Both of them. Her skirt makes my journey more than accessible. Where we are sitting, and the position of our bodies, makes what I’m doing unknown to the people around us. I grip her tighter, pulling her snuggly to me with the hand I have around her waist. She spreads her legs just enough for me to touch her, tease her, with my fingers. How wet she is, and the moans that she keeps letting out as we kiss, has me rocking a massive hard on. I want this chick so fucking bad, but not here. Not this way.

This is all for her. I’m not looking for anything in return. I want to savor how she feels around my finger. I slowly ease it in and out of her. Resting her head against my chest, she drapes her arms over my shoulders as she lets me have my feel.

“I want to make you feel good. Let me make you feel good, baby,” I whisper as I let my finger slide into her.

“You always make me feel good.” She moans as her grip on me tightens. I slowly push in and out a few times as I let my thumb rub back and forth over her clit. Knowing that I’m only moments away from sending her over the edge, I add another finger. Each time I thrust into her, I slightly curl my fingers before bringing them back out to do the same thing all over again. “I’m so close,” she says before taking my mouth with hers. Her tongue begs mine to send her over the edge. I speed up my thumb as I move my fingers quickly in and out. She holds her mouth open against mine, releasing a moan. Her body shakes and her breath catches as she comes. Her face glows as she pulls away from me, grinning. “That was… It was amazing,” she says breathlessly.

“You’re amazing,” I whisper against her lips. “Let’s get out of here.” I know just where I want to take her. I bet it’s even more gorgeous with the full moon shining on it.