Save Me From Me (18 page)

“Where am I headed? “ I ask as I put the truck in reverse and back out.

“Back to where the bonfire was. I think I remember the way.”

I pat her leg and leave my hand resting on her thigh. “I got this.”

“Adyn caught James with another woman.” She shakes her head in disgust.

“What a fucking douche.” I’m not perfect by any means, but cheaters can rot, for all I care.

“Thank you for tonight. I really, really enjoyed it.” The way she just said that, I can only imagine the blush covering her face. Damn darkness disguises what I’m sure is the cutest look ever.

I pull into the drive where lots of vehicles are still there and turn to her. “I really enjoyed it, too. We should do it more often,” I say as I bend over and kiss her fast and hard, wanting her to know I’m serious. I slightly pull back as I grab each of her hands, placing a kiss on both. Looking deep into her eyes, I rub my thumb along her cheek. “You do what you need to tonight. Take care of your friend. Be the big-hearted person that I’m falling for. I don’t want to go all day tomorrow without seeing you, but your friend needs you more than me. So, while you’re having your ice cream, bashing on guys fest tomorrow, I’ll figure out something for us to do Sunday. Deal?”

“You’re amazing. And damn near perfect. I’m still in shock from how I lucked out when I found you,” she says before wrapping her hands around my neck and pulling me in for another kiss. “Let’s hurry and find my friend. James better not still be here, or I might slit his sack.”

“For the sake of his nuts, I hope he isn’t here either.” I laugh at her, trying to shake that painful image out of my mind, but all I can keep picturing is that damn
Sons of Anarchy
episode with that child molesting, carney clown. Yikes.

My plan is to make a quick trip back to my dad’s house, well, Tyler’s house, and find the gun that he bought for me a long time ago. Holden is taking me shooting this afternoon, and it’d help if I actually came prepared. He tells me I should get my ‘open carry’ license to be safe. Seeing as how crazy people are nowadays, it’s always best to be extra careful. I have to admit that I agree.

I quickly run into the house, go back to the room that was mine, and open the closet door. Ahh. Right where I had left it. I pull it out, double check to make sure the chamber is empty, and then place it back in its case. I reach my hand farther back on the shelf, looking for a box of bullets. I’m pretty sure I had at least one, but I come up empty handed.

Dammit. That means I have to stop by the store on my way back home.

I take my time walking through the house as I head for the door. I stop by the pics on the wall of us as kids with our dad. It’s almost been a year, and instead of fighting off the tears as I had expected, the memories bring a welcome smile and warmth to my heart. I will always love and miss my daddy, but I’m not going to let it keep me down. He wouldn’t want that, and neither do I. As I’m shutting and locking the door, I say, “I love you daddy.”

The local Wal-Mart is the only place I’m going to be finding bullets on a Sunday. I kind of dread going there. It’s one of those places that you have to go to, and you usually run into someone you’d rather avoid.

I make my way to the hunting section and ask the clerk to help me find what I need. He’s more than helpful by checking me out the whole time and telling me how hot girls are that hunt.

I quickly reply, “I’m not hunting.”

Which leads him to say, “Oh, just shooting for recreation. That’s even hotter.”

Seriously, where are these lame guys bred? I could tell him that I wipe my ass with dog hair, and he’d still say I was hot. I quickly pay him, and then book it out of there. As I’m about to reach freedom, aka the exit door, I spot something that I just can’t take my eyes off. Loralee and a little baby are near the carts. I watch as she puts the car seat in the buggy. Curiosity gets the best of me, so I walk up to her.

“I didn’t know you had a kid,” I say, stepping in front of her.

“I don’t,” she says in her attempt to shoo me away.

“How’d you manage to keep that secret?” I prop my hands on my hips, which causes the bag on my wrist to rest against my side.

“Seriously, Dani. It’s not my kid. It’s my sister’s.”

“Wow, Courtney had a baby? What is she, like seventeen?”

Sighing loudly, she answers, “She’s eighteen.”

“So what, are you like the babysitter?” I ask rudely.

“For your information, which you aren’t entitled to by the way, I do help out. My grandma and I watch Trevor so that Courtney can finish high school, go to college, and get the hell out of this town. You’d know all about the whole getting out of the town you’re from, huh?” She glares at me.

Yeah, I would. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. That’s for sure.”

“Well, then. Unlike you, some people have unselfish motives.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean, Lee? Because I’m sick of this bullshit that’s been going on between us for over a decade.”

“Dani, you just don’t get it.”

“Then explain it. Draw out a pretty, little graph if you need to.”

“You want a picture? I’ll paint you a pretty, little picture. You.” She points at me, almost jabbing her finger in my sternum. “You have two guys chasing after you. Gage, you just keep on the sideline for that day when the other one takes off. Because that day will happen. Trust me; I know first-hand how they work.”

“Really? I didn’t get the impression that you knew how it worked that night you were on your knees sucking him off outside the bar.”

“My point exactly. You think he’s the type to stick around when he can get another girl just like you, or even better, in the next town or state he drives to? And then poor Gage who has been stuck on you since the day you left him crying. I’ve been trying to be the one for him, to show him the love he thought he lost, but I’ll never be more than a good fuck to him. He’ll never settle down with me. Especially now that you’re back in town. He’ll always think the chance will be there. Even when he sees that you’re getting your kicks with another guy.” She sneers.

“Oh, so, because Gage wants me and not you, that’s my fault? When I’ve been nothing but up front with him this whole time? When he’s pretty secretive in the first place? I don’t need this bullshit from you of all people,” I say as I turn around.

“You don’t know the whole situation. People changed after you left, Dani. Gage being one of them,” she says from behind.

“Yeah, I’ve noticed.” I stand quietly for a moment, contemplating what I should do. I despise this woman with a passion, and I hate the idea that she’d be right about anything dealing with me.

“I hope you make a decision soon, and let the right one go. Don’t make the same mistake you did ten years ago.”

With nothing left to say, I end it with that. I leave this town in a bit of a daze as I head back towards home. I think about Adyn as I drive back and how she must be feeling. The night of the bonfire, she caught her fiancé with some chick pinned up against a tree. When she called me crying, I felt like a piece of shit friend for having left her there. I was glad that Holden was so willing to take me to pick her up, and also, so understanding of my friend’s needs that he told me to spend the whole next day with her. We stayed up way past our bedtime at her mom’s house. We cried and laughed as we just fully opened up to each other about anything and everything. I went with her to the house she shared with James, and helped her pack all of her shit to move over to her mom’s house. When I left her this morning, she actually seemed to be in better spirits, telling me that it was destined to happen. I told her that she’s twenty-four and gorgeous, and could do so much better in every aspect of her life. I let her know that it was okay to start living for herself and to never settle. It felt good being able to offer some sort of advice to a friend and it seem to actually help.

The storm that blew through last night has caused the temperature to drop, and it is still gloomy out today. I decide to wear an old pair of jeans and shoes to keep from ruining anything good. The shirt I’m wearing is fitted in all the right spots, and my hat is snuggly placed on my head with my ponytail pulled through the fastening hole. I rarely wear hats, but today feels like a good day to pull out the Ole’ Sooner hat. My dad bought it ages ago knowing that I’m not the hat type of girl. Today, he’d be proud. I’m wearing the hat and shooting the gun that he bought me. Those are two of the things I have mentally vowed to never do because I’m afraid of the feelings they might trigger.

I pull into our spot and wait for Holden to show. Not that I’d ever call it our spot in front of him, but it just seems fitting. It’s where we hung out for the first time, and the place he always knows where to find me or take me when I’m in a funk. The place where a lot of truths, secrets, and worrisome thoughts get confessed, and stay safely tucked in where the rest of the world can’t find them. It’s like our own little confessional box, but without the Hail Mary’s.

Attempting to turn off my mind and not think about how close Holden and I were the other night, I jam out listening to my radio. I lose myself in the music as I sing out of tune to the catchy song that’s playing. Singing is not a strong trait of mine, but it doesn’t keep me from belting out the words. I just feel bad for the poor innocent bystanders, which Holden happens to be today.

“Oh, hey,” I say to Holden, who, by the looks of it, has been standing next to my truck long enough to get a good ear full.

“I think you missed your calling.” He teases.

“I think you’re a smartass.”

“It’s better than being a dumb one,” he retorts.

“That’s arguable. So, where you taking me?” I ask as I slide into his truck.

He leans against the door as he replies. “Does it really matter?” he asks in a sexy voice that does wonderful things to my insides. Of course, it doesn’t matter. He knows that, but I won’t be saying that today. He shakes his head and smiles at my silence, and what I’m sure is a mixture of indecisiveness and excitement on my face. “I asked around where a good place to go shooting was. I had a few good places brought up, so I went ahead and checked ‘em out earlier to find the best spot. The place I’m taking you is near this shallow part of the river bed.”

Keeping my head out of the gutter has been so hard. The feel of Dani’s naked body underneath mine is constantly on my mind. I would love nothing more than to go all caveman on her, throw her over my shoulder, take her somewhere, anywhere, and claim her. I want to mark her as mine. I’m not worried about it being good, because it will be. I know how to please a woman. I’ve come to realize that with the important things in life, timing is everything. Hell, when it happens, I just want her to feel special.

I’ve made sure to check out all the Intel that I’ve received throughout the week at work. I wanted to find the perfect place to take Dani shooting. She’s a tough cookie, and I’m pretty sure this will be right up her alley. When she told me she had a gun, I knew I was right. I set out earlier this morning on my own excursion to narrow down my choices, but once I stumbled into this one, I knew it was the perfect spot. It’s far enough away from any roads, houses, and people in general. It’s beautiful and peaceful out here, and since shooting is sort of a stress reliever, well, for me anyways, it goes hand-in-hand with the other elements. I just want her to relax. Even more so, since the fact that she’s tense is more than apparent.