Save Me From Me (36 page)

Brandy’s due date is two months away, and my anxiety is in over drive. I can’t wait to hold our Baby Girl in my arms. We’ve decorated her room in the hopes that she’ll enjoy photography as much as we do. Picture quotes, frames, and anything and everything vintage camera related adorn her walls. It’s absolutely stunning. The opposite walls are patterned in a vertical grey and yellow chevron. The crib is white with grey and yellow bedding that match the walls. Most of the decorating ideas have come from Pinterest, such as the white birdhouse that hangs in one corner full of little stuffed animals to the pallet bookshelf that I had Holden make. This is my most favorite room in our entire house, and one day, I plan to carefully replicate it in a house of our own.

Dani’s ten year reunion has been looming over her hard and heavy the past couple weeks. I want to do something that will get her mind off of it, but not for that specific reason. I want to do it, and I’m done waiting for the most perfect moment. Any moment will be perfect as long as she’s in the picture. This woman of mine is one of the hardest people to surprise. You hide something; she finds it. You make secret plans; she somehow discovers it. Well, not this time. This time I’ve found the place that she will never look, and told no one, so there’s absolutely no way any slippage of surprises will be happening. Especially with a surprise like this. I can’t afford any mistakes.

I have the poles set up and resting in their little holders on the dock before I drive up to her work to meet her. Dani has a late photo-shoot to wrap up at work. I know how she is. As soon as she finishes one, she runs to her computer to download the pictures, because she’s just that anxious to see how well they turned out. I have to get to her before she’s in that mode. I show up, and when I see the happy couple walking out the door, I hurry inside.

“Hey, Babe. Before you sit down, I need you to come down to the dock with me for a minute.”

She glances down at the camera hanging around her neck, and then back at me as if she’s having an inner battle about it. Who am I kidding? She is having one.

“Okay, let me just sit this on my desk,” she says as she opens the door, and quickly returns, locking it behind her. I hold my arm out to her, and she links hers into mine so we walk elbow to elbow to my truck.

“So, how’d the shoot go?” I ask, trying to free up my nerves that are now building up.

“It went amazing,” she says with such joy. I can see it all over her face. She’s truly found her calling.

“Well, you are pretty amazing yourself, Darlin’.”

She slaps my arm.

“I thought I weaned you off of that. Is it rearing its ugly head back into the picture?” she teases. She might say that she hates it, but based on the blush that tints her cheeks every time I call her that, I disagree.

“I’m not a dog or a child, Missy. You can’t wean me off of anything.” I huff.

“Oh, yeah? Maybe I should wean you off the tit.” She giggles.

“Please, don’t do that.” I look over, giving her my best sad face that usually wins her over.

She sighs in defeat. “Fine.” We pull into the area where we always park, and I see her eyes focus on the little ‘for sale’ sign in the distance. “I’m going to be really sad when this place sells. Whoever buys it will be the proud, new owner of the place that holds all my favorite memories.”

“That they will,” I say, grabbing her hand in mine as we walk down the dock to take in the gorgeous sunset.

“I will never get tired of this place.” I wrap my arm around Dani’s side, pulling her close to me.

“I will never get tired of you,” she admits, and rests her head against me as we continue our walk to the very end.

“That’s very good to know.” I kiss the top of her head, and then bend over, acting like I’m picking up my mess of lures and bobbers. “Hey, will you go ahead and reel those in for me?”

“Yeah, sure,” she says as she walks over to where the poles are propped and starts reeling in the first one. “It’s kinda windy out here today. I never have any luck catching any when it is.” She hands me the first one, and when she turns around, I lean it against the opposite side of the railing. I turn back around, watching as she reels in the last pole. “Well, hell, you might have caught something on this one.”

Boy, oh boy, did I.

She gasps as what’s hooked on it breaks through the water.

“Dani, you’re the best thing that’s ever walked into my life. I knew there was something different about you from the moment I first saw you.” She snickers remembering that night. “I think we all go through things in our life that are meant to bring us to the person we are absolutely meant to be with. I held onto the past for so long that I couldn’t see myself having a beautiful future—until you. You are everything beautiful my life was missing. I never knew I was even missing it before you. I have faced a lot of ugly in my life, but I know with you by my side, I can face anything and come out a better, stronger person on the other side. I’m not afraid to face anything as long as I have your hand in mine. I’m only afraid to continue this life without you. You are my life now. My reason for everything. Before you I wasn’t living. I was drifting along. My life has purpose now. And that purpose is to make you the happiest woman alive. You always thought you were the one who needed savin’, Dani. But it was me. Thank you for saving me from me. I will never be the same. You’ve changed me in all the best ways possible. Please be my wife.”

With shaking hands, she grabs my damp cheeks, pulling me closer to her face

“We saved each other, Holden. I don’t want to think about where I’d be if you hadn’t shown up in this Godforsaken town. Things happen for a reason, and you are my reason now. I will love you for all my life, and the fact that you want me to be your wife makes me the luckiest woman in the world. I’m whole with you.” I open the bag that I had tied onto the hook and pull out the little blue box. She gasps as I lift the lid, revealing the ring. “It’s gorgeous.” I take her hand and slide the ring on her finger.

Holding her hand in mine, I look down at the ring on her finger. “No, now it’s gorgeous, Hot Shot.” She throws her arms tightly around me. I place my hands on her hips and pull her back as I grab something out of my back pocket. “There’s something else,” I say. She watches me intently, her eyes never wavering from my hand as I pull out the paper. “There’s no way in hell I was going to let someone else buy our memories.” I hand her the paper and watch all the emotions flood her face as she reads over it.

“You bought it?” she chokes out.

All I can do is nod with a cheesy-ass smile as she reads that we are now the proud owners of the best spot on earth.

“The dock is ours?” she asks again in disbelief.

“Yes, baby!” I say, lifting her up into my arms and spinning her around. “This place is ours. Our kids will grow up here and make amazing memories for themselves just like you and I did.”

“There are just no words when it comes to you, Holden. No words to describe what I feel for you.”

“I feel the same.” I capture her lips and show her just how much I love her.

“Do we have to go?” I ask Holden as I slip my last earring in.

“No, we don’t have to.”

“But?”

“But you should. It’ll be good for you.” He shrugs as he grabs his ball cap and slides it on.

“I don’t see how it’ll be good for me to see all these people that I haven’t had anything to do with in over ten years, and who didn’t care about me when I was in school, anyways. Time doesn’t change everyone. I’m sure most of them will still think they are better than me.”

“Well, screw them. In my book, there is nobody better than you!” Holden says, grabbing my face before placing a kiss on my forehead.

“That’s why I love you.” I sigh.

“Because I give you a big head?” he asks.

“More like because of
your
big head.” I wink. “The one in your pants.” I prop my hand on my hip, looking him up and down. “Even though this one,” I motion my hand in front of his face, “is pretty hot, too.”

“Thanks for the ego boost,” Holden says, grabbing my hand. “But we’re going to be late.”

“And your point is? I bet I could find something fun we could do here with both of your heads,” I say as I trail my hand down his pearl snap shirt, making my way to his belt buckle where he quickly grabs my hand.

“Come on, Hot Shot. Let’s go. I’ll drag your fine ass over my shoulder if I have to.”

Pulling into what looks like a fancy country club, I start to second-guess my outfit. Holden notices my fidgety-ness, and quickly puts me at ease with a kiss and some words. His words always comfort me.

“Babe, listen. It’s going to be okay. We’ll go in, shoot the shit with some folks, make fun of the rest, and then leave as soon as you want. Okay?” he asks as he lifts my hand to his lips, placing a kiss on it.

“I seriously don’t know what I’d do without you,” I say, placing my other hand against his cheek as I lean in for a kiss.

“Same here, Babe. Now chop-chop. Let’s get this show on the road.”

I sigh, double-check my makeup, open my door, and then taking a deep breath, I link my arm with the man who is by my side.

Walking inside arm in arm with him gives me the confidence boost needed to face these people tonight. The lively atmosphere greets us as we walk through the doors. The music is loud, but not so loud that you have to yell for someone to hear you. The round tables are evenly spaced with room to comfortably walk, and have name placards on them. We walk around and find where our seats are, and I sit my stuff down and wonder what’s next.

“I’m going to go get us a beer,” Holden says, releasing his arm from what has now become a death grip. “You’ll be fine.” When he kisses my cheek, I give him a reassuring smile because I’m not sure I can form any words that would sound convincing.

As he walks off, I scan the surroundings and see a dance floor where a handful of girls are line dancing. That’s more than likely where I’ll end up for most of the night if we stay long enough. On the far side of the room is a buffet-style area being set-up. That timing is perfect, because my stomach decides to start growling. The dim lighting creates an intimate setting, but I like the darkness because I won’t feel like I’m under the microscope. How will they be able to look down on me if they can’t actually make out who I am? That’s my take on it, anyways.

I notice a few people here and there, but none that I’m dying to walk up to and start a fake conversation with. Not that I’m fake, but I have a hard time believing that any of these people will act real towards me. Who knows, maybe it’s possible that people changed. I know that most of the folks I went to school with have moved away, just like I did. At least, they moved out of our little town and moved to the city right next to us.