Save Me From Me (38 page)

With awe in his eyes, Holden looks down at her sleeping form.

“You can hold her,” I say as I watch him admire our daughter.

“I know. But she looks so precious and peaceful,” he replies as he traces her cheek with his fingertip.

I hand my camera over to my mom and bend down to pick up Stella Rae.

“We need our first family pic,” I say. I stand slightly in front of Holden as he wraps one arm around me, and places the other on her little stocking hat. We both look down at her, simply amazed by her, and I hear the click of my camera.

Now this is a picture, perfect, kind of life.

We arrive home two days later to a house full of love. My mom rides home from the hospital with us, knowing damn well that I’ll be in shock as soon as I walk through my front door.

“Dannnnni Jo,” Tyler says as he rushes to me giving me a bear hug. “Or should I say, Momma?”

“I like the sound of that,” I say back as I start shedding happy tears. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

He places me back down on my feet. “I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.”

The boys run in from the backyard. “Aunt Dani. Aunt Dani. Can we see her?” They know Stella is their sister, but they also understand that I’m the one who is going to be raising her.

“Of course, you guys can see her. I have a feeling she’s going to love her big brothers.” I notice Adyn standing in the entryway to the kitchen and make my way towards her.

“You sneaky woman, you.”

“I couldn’t say no when Holden asked.”

“I’m starting to think you have a weakness for my man,” I tease.

“Only because we both have your best interests at heart.” She pulls me in for a hug.

I look around the room and just can’t believe how much love fills it. I never imagined that I’d have such an incredible life. When Holden catches my eye, I see him just staring at me, and he gives me a wink. That damn wink of his still makes my knees weak.

With Stella now six months old, owning our own business has so many perks. You can make your own hours, and everyday can be a ‘take your kid to work’ day. It just simplifies things for us. Maybe it’s just our line of business. I’m sure that not every entrepreneur can do all these things. We’ve rented out a building in our very small town district. It’s old and brick, and right next to an alleyway, which turns out to be an amazing backdrop for photos.

Hot Shots
has now been up and running for the last two months. Business is slow, but gradually picking up. The slowness is welcome at the moment, since we are both still figuring out the ropes in owning our own business and making sure our quality is top notch. Word of mouth is the best advertisement ever.

We haven’t shut out the idea of having kids, and even plan to look into other ways to one day, possibly, have one of our own. But for now, we are more than happy with what we have.

“You know, I used to think that not being able to have kids was horrible. That no one would ever want me. That I’d never be able to fulfill the purpose most women are born with — to be a mother. To nurture a child into the world and raise them with good morals and all that jazz. But now, I realize my place in life. Sometimes women and men who are capable of loving a child that isn’t theirs are needed. Sometimes, it’s people that want to love a child so bad that end up being the best ones to become adoptive parents. In this case, I know this was my fate as a mom. There are kids that need people like us, Holden. And I’m finally more than okay with knowing that this is the only way for me to be a mother.”

“And you’re an amazing mother. I used to watch the way you were with your nephews, and just knew you had that motherly instinct. I could see the love you had for them, and could see the yearning in your eyes to have your own. I never knew what I wanted in life until I found you. We can adopt a whole damn football team, if that’s what you want. As long as you’re happy, I’m happy. You make me happy just by being you and loving me.”

I watch as Dani sits out on our dock with her feet dangling in the water. Stella sits beside her with her little Barbie fishing pole, and I can’t help but smile as I remember the first time Dani and I went fishing. I thought I loved her even then. Now, I know I love her more, and it will always be more as I look back through time. My love will never stop growing for this woman. She’s giving me the life I never thought I’d have. The life I have always wanted, but never had the balls to go after.

After taking my shoes and socks off, and rolling my jeans up, I walk to the dock, and sit down, easing my way in behind her. She leans back against me, and I wrap my arms around her, resting them on her stomach.

“Daddy! Daddy!” Stella exclaims. “Momma told me that I need to have you put a worm on my hook. She said that you’re the master baiter.”

We both start cracking up. “Oh, is that so?” I ask my daughter. “If my memory serves me right, your mom is an expert in the area as well. In fact, she taught me everything I know.”

Dani smacks my thigh.

“Ahem, I’d like to think we have both taught each other how to master certain techniques.” She turns her head sideways, and I bend down to kiss her.

“That’s the truth. Thanks for giving me such an incredible family. I love you so much, Hot Shot.”

She smiles against my lips.

“As comfortable as I am sitting here, we need to get ready for our family pictures.” I stand up, and then extend my hands out to help Dani up. We grab Stella’s fishing pole and girlie tackle box, and head back to our house — our dream house we were able to build after we got married.

An hour later, a photographer friend she went to school with shows up. Dani has made sure that all of our outfits match in some shape or form. Dani and Stella are in dresses with their cowboy boots. Me, I’m in my jeans and a plaid shirt that blends with their outfits. The girls have their long blond hair loose and in waves that trail down their backs. I’m in the bathroom about to fix my hair when Dani walks in and hugs me from behind.

“Here,” she says as I turn around in her arms to face her. She reaches up, placing my favorite ball cap on my head.

“That’s something else I love about you.” I smile down at her.

“What? That I know you so well?”

“Yeah, something like that.” I squeeze her as tight as I can.

Since we started this business venture together four years ago, it’s blown up. It was a slow start, but six months in, it took off faster than I expected. That’s for sure. We’ve had to take a day off just to do our own family pictures. It’s odd being on the other side of the lens today. Not that I’m the one ever holding the camera anyways, but I’m always on the backside of it. The behind the scenes action. But now, we are the action. We’re told how to pose, where to look, where to place our hands, when to smile, yadda, yadda, yadda. But I am enjoying it. By the looks on my girls’ faces, they are more than enjoying it. Stella’s always been a little diva and has been the main focus of our attention, period, so this is a cakewalk to her.

“I want to get a picture of your tattoos. I want Stella to stand in front. Right in the middle. No, that won’t capture what I’m needing.” Mariah taps her chin, thinking. “Hmm. How ‘bout I’ll just do a picture of you holding hands? That will capture both tattoos, and then later, I will do one of just your boots.”

“Sounds good,” Dani says as she places her hand in mine, making sure our tattoos show just right. After we got married three years ago, we had them done. Mine is about mid-forearm, and hers is on her wrist. I love him/I love her are now forever marked on our bodies.

For the last set of pictures, Mariah takes us out onto the dock, knowing that is Dani’s favorite spot out here. Hell, it’s mine too. So many damn memories.

“Okay, Stella, I’m going to have you stand up here a bit closer to me, and I’m going to have mommy and daddy stand a little farther behind you. Okay, Sweetie?” Mariah asks Stella who is smiling ear to ear. “Alright now, Holden and Dani. I want you, Holden, to stand behind Dani and wrap your arms around her.” I move behind her and effortlessly wrap my arms around her. “Dani, let your arms rest against his, and your hands on his as well.” She rests her arms over mine. “Perfect! Now with y’alls hands the way they are, I want you to make a heart shape.” Dani’s stomach moves underneath our hands, and we both laugh.

“I will never get used to that feeling,” I whisper in her ear.

“Me neither. It’s a feeling I never thought I’d get to feel,” she says. I bend down, kissing her on the cheek. Mariah walks up to us, and moves our hands over a smidgen on Dani’s stomach before walking back and pulling her camera up to her face.

“Here we go, Guys. Everyone look at me. On the count of three, say ‘hurry up, Baby Brother’.” That right there has me smiling like a fool. “One, two, three.”

Altogether, Dani, Stella, and I say, “Hurry up, Baby Brother.”

I really hope you enjoyed Dani and Holden’s story. Now, here is a sneak peek into what I’m working on now.

Broken Wings

Coming March 2014

http://animoto.com/play/gjYY2HMHe8clFhj9FSnA4Q

I feel as though I need to put a warning in every book that I do not have anything after the words The End, edited. What you see, is all me. Now go find my editor, tell her thanks, and give her a pat on the back for making my stuff look good.

Save Me From Me wouldn’t be half of what it is without a whole slew of amazing people that I’m more than grateful to have in my life. So, when it comes to saying thanks where thanks is due, I’m going to start from the beginning—when the idea of SMFM came to me. I’m not really sure how it happened, but it came to me while I was still writing Moving Forward…the ahem, brick wall scene, to be exact.