Second Rate Chances (22 page)

             
“Why don’t I have my own friends? Why does it seem like your friends are my friends?”

             
Chloe threw her hands up in the air, clearly frustrated. “What the hell does that mean? They are
our
friends, Sam. I don’t just hang out with Todd and JoAnn or Billy and Mischa on my own. We do things as a couple, making them our friends.”

             
“No,” he said. “They were your friends before; they turned into our friends because we did things with them. What about Kane and Abe?”

             
Her brow furrowed and then like a light being turned on, her eyes widened. “You mean the boyfriends in the gaming department? Two of your employees?”

             
Sam nodded. “Yeah, those two. Did you know they were my best friends in college and somehow I got too big for my britches and tossed them aside?”

             
“What does it matter? You were promoted. You couldn’t keep hanging out with the testers in the basement. Besides,” she said, inspecting her nails, “They would have probably tried to sabotage your rise to the top. I know people like them. They see an in and they take it. You were their in. They would have ruined you.”

             
Sam had never felt such anger in all of his life. It felt like at any moment the lid to the boiling pot was going to flip off, burning everything in its wake. How could she say all of this? He had to respect her honesty. He didn’t like it, but he had to give her credit for not telling him what he wanted to hear.

             
“I need some time,” he said after several beats of silence passed between them.

             
“Time?” she repeated. He nodded. “And what are you going to do with this
time
?” The word came out like a sneer from her painted lips.

             
“I’m going to think about my future, Chloe. Our future.”

             
“Does this have anything to do with Lil?” Everything, he wanted to say but he refrained. When he didn’t answer, Chloe laughed, even though there was no humor behind it.

             
“Okay,” she said. “You take your
time
to figure out whatever it is that you think you need to figure out about
your
future. I know
mine
, Sam. I don’t need you figuring anything out for me.”

             
She picked up her purse that lay on the table next to the couch and threw it over her shoulder. “Take the rest of the week if you want, I don’t care. I have a wedding to push forward. But Sam, if you want to be with me, you make damn sure she’s out of your system before Saturday. If that means fucking her until your blue in the face and you’ll no longer wonder what one more time would be like, then be my guest. But know this.” She pointed her long fingernail at him. “If you show up to that church on Saturday, you better be prepared to spend the rest of your life wanting me and not thinking about her.”

             
Chloe left, her footsteps heavy across the floor. The door slammed in her wake as he watched her walk away.

             
Sam knew what he had to do. He knew before Chloe had shown up. Now, it was up to him to make sure it happened. And before it did, he had a few phone calls to make.

187

SECOND RATE CHANCES

CHAPTER 27

Lil lay across the sofa in Dr. Kingston’s office. For today’s visit she opted not to sit in one of the straight back chairs. She would have thought for all the lying around she had done since she had told Sam to leave the night of Christmas that she’d be tired of lying horizontal. Turned out, she wasn’t.

             
Dr. Kingston was quiet as Lil closed her eyes and practiced her deep breathing exercises.

             
“Lil,” Dr. Kingston said. “Tell me what’s going on.”

             
With one final deep cleansing breath, Lil said, “Sam remembers.” She turned her face to Dr. Kingston’s desk, opening one eye to see her reaction. It was still as calm and cool as ever.

             
“You knew this would come,” she replied.

             
Lil moaned. “I know. I just…”

             
“You had hoped that things would be how they were? I’m guessing you and Sam grew close while you were helping him?”

             
Lil snorted. They had grown close all right. So close that before he dropped his bombshell on her she was thinking of asking him to move some stuff in. Talk about going overboard. Lil was thankful the words never had a chance to leave her mouth.

             
“What happened?” Dr. Kingston asked.

             
Lil started from the beginning. She told Dr. Kingston everything, from reuniting him with Kane and Abe and bridging her own relationship with the two. To telling him about Toby and the fight they had about it. Sam coming back to her, decorating the tree, telling him about the baby and miscarriage and then how everything fell apart. She then moved to their date with the old gang, to feeling like a part of the family again when she went with him to his dad’s Christmas party.

             
Then there was the night he consumed her, the morning she seduced him, lunch at Ellie’s and then…then the biggest heartache of all. Her telling him to leave and him not putting up a fight.

             
When she was finished, Dr. Kingston kept quiet, probably allowing Lil to adjust to saying everything that had happened to her and Sam in the week leading up to him regaining his memories.

             
“And how do you feel now?” she asked.

             
“God.” Lil groaned. “I hate that question.” Sighing, she answered anyway. “I feel used, cheated out of something I’ve wanted for a
longtime
. Mad at him for remembering and walking out of the door.”

             
“Did you expect him to stay and fight for you?”

             
Lil honestly didn’t know. What would have happened had she not told him to leave? Would he have stayed and tried to work things out? Lil began to start second-guessing herself. Maybe she should give him the benefit of the doubt. He was only doing what she asked; leaving her was all he knew to do when the tough got going.

             
“Let me ask you this,” Dr. Kingston said when Lil didn’t reply. “Did he give you any reason to think he didn’t want to be with you?”

             
“No,” Lil said softly. “He told me he loved me. He made this Christmas the best one I’ve had in three years.”

             
“So maybe he was looking out for you.”

             
Lil shrugged. He could have been, she guessed. It wasn’t like he said anything other than that he remembered. She had flown off the handle before giving him the chance to say anything else.

             
“Lil, given that you’ve been a patient of mine for three years, I’d like to think that I know you.” She rested her forearms on top of her desk and clasped her hands together. “I’m assuming you didn’t get any answers from Sam regarding your past because you didn’t give him the chance to talk.”

             
Damn the woman for being so perceptive. She was right, and Lil could admit that. She knew she had jumped the gun. She should have been more reasonable with Sam. She should have allowed him to tell her everything because who knew if she’d ever have the chance again? But it was hard for Lil to step past the shards of glass at her feet that resembled her broken heart.

             
“Lil, any man worth his salt, especially a man who chose to spend Christmas with his ex, is going to want the chance to speak his peace. I suggest when that time comes, you listen to him.”

             
Yeah but when would that happen, Lil wondered. Before or after the wedding?

~~~~

Sam had nearly forgotten his appointment with Dr. Langdon. With everything going on it almost slipped his mind. He was glad he had set a reminder in his phone to alert him of the time.

             
He sat in the chair, across from the doctor’s desk, ready to dive into today’s session. Hopefully if things went as Sam had planned, the only therapy he’d need was the kind Lil could provide.

             
“Sam,” Dr. Langdon said, smiling as he set his pen down. “How are things?”

             
“I remember,” Sam blurted out. Dr. Langdon showed no signs of surprise, or even that he knew this was coming.

             
“And how are you coping?” he asked.

             
Sam had to laugh. How was he coping? He left the woman he loved, sent the woman he wasn’t sure he liked, much less loved, out the door with the excuse he needed time. He had moved out of his condo and in with his dad.

             
“As well as expected, I suppose.”

             
“You suppose?”

             
Sam shrugged. “What do you want me to say? I was able to spend time with Lil, something I’ve thought about from the moment I walked out of our house three years ago. How stupid I was that I never went back when I knew I should have? She needed me and I left her and never came back. Hell,” Sam said, raking his fingers through his hair. “
I
needed her.”

             
Swallowing hard, Sam continued. “I was able to mend a broken friendship with two of my best friends. My brother? He apparently hated me because I had turned into this uppity hot shot who didn’t give a damn about his family – only his fiancée’s.” Sam shot Dr. Langdon a perturbed look. “But I still I have my health, so I
suppose
I’m fine.”

             
“Do you not like the man you’ve become?”

             
Sam’s gaze was fixed on Dr. Langdon. He felt his breathing become labored like the lava in a volcano about to erupt.

             
“I hate him,” he seethed. “He doesn’t care about anything.” Sam let out a humorless laugh. “Literally, not a thing. The furnishings in his house, what clothes he wears, what kind of car he drives. He doesn’t even care that he doesn’t spend more than five minutes with his own family at Christmas. The Sam I turned in to? He doesn’t have any real friends. He hates his job but is too afraid to quit.”

             
Dr. Langdon gave the briefest of nods. “Do you think you can incorporate the two? The person you used to be and the one you became?”

             
Sam shook his head. “I don’t see how.” Especially when the old Sam had Lil and the new one had Chloe.

             
How would Lil like this Sam? The one who spent all his time at work, who would drag her to after hour’s business parties. Make her play the part of the doting girlfriend. That wasn’t Lil. Sure, she’d support him; she’d do anything to help him. That much was evident. But Chloe was the one who was good at working a room, schmoozing her daddy’s clients and colleagues.

             
“What does Chloe say about all of this, Sam?”

             
“Not much. I told her I needed some time to think about my future.”

             
“And how much time do you intend to take?” Dr. Langdon questioned.

             
Until Saturday, Sam thought to himself. Then he’d have to break someone’s heart. But this time, he was going to do what was right. Not what was expected of him.

189

SECOND RATE CHANCES

CHAPTER 28

Lil decided to close up shop the week following Christmas and leading up to New Years. That of course didn’t mean she sat at home and wallowed because she was missing Sam.

             
How could she have missed him as much as she did in the short amount of time he had reentered her life? They were together since college, all of those years seeing each other every single day, yet the two weeks he was in her life, when he shut the door behind him and left, those had been the hardest to get through.

             
Maybe it was because Lil had believed she had gotten her second chance with Sam. Maybe this time, with everything out in the open, they could move forward, past everything that had ruined them. But Lil hadn’t allowed Sam to tell his side of the story. She didn’t know what made him leave and never come back.

             
She thought about calling him. For almost three days now, she picked up her phone to dial his number, but ended up only staring at the old picture she had taken so long ago. That was her Sam, she had to tell herself. The man who remembered, who had been missing for three years, he wasn’t hers. And she was a fool to think he ever could be.

             
The sign on the door was turned to closed as Lil busied herself with getting ready for the new year. Christmas props were stored away and Valentines were taken out of storage. Just the thought of sappy cards and heart-shaped candies had Lil wanting to close up until Easter. But that’s what the old Lil would have done. This Lil was determined to make the best out of her situation. She wouldn’t cry and mope or drink herself stupid. No, this Lil was more mature. She would take one day at a time and move forward with her life. Not backwards.

             
The bell above the door dinged and Lil silently cursed. Apparently the closed sign on the door meant nothing. She hated to turn around and send a paying customer on their way, but she had things to do and people to forget.

             
When she turned around, she recognized the woman instantly even though neither of them had officially met.

             
“Lil?” she questioned. “Lil Harper?”

             
Lil nodded her throat suddenly dry.

             
The woman smiled. “Hi.” She waved. “I know we haven’t had the chance to meet yet, but I’m Chloe. Chloe Miles.”

             
Yeah, Lil knew who she was. She knew this woman had the one thing Lil wanted. Sam.

             
“Hello,” Lil managed to say. “Is there something I can help you with?”

             
“Oh, no,” Chloe said. “I just wanted to stop by and thank you.”

             
“Thank me?”

             
Chloe nodded. “For helping Sam. I don’t know what you did or how you did it.”

             
Lil could hazard a guess. She slept with him. Twice. And she’d be lying to herself if she said she hadn’t enjoyed every single second of it. But there was no need to tell Chloe any of that. Lil wasn’t a vindictive person. It was inevitable for one of them to get hurt. No sense in it being both of them.

             
“Sam,” Chloe said, “is back to normal.” Her smile, as she said the words, stretched across her face.

             
Normal. One word told Lil all she needed to know. Sam had returned to the suit-wearing city-life, engaged man that he was. To Chloe this was normal. For Lil this was her worst nightmare.

             
“Anyway,” Chloe continued, oblivious to the fact Lil had hardly said two words since she waltzed into her closed shop. “I just wanted to stop by and say thanks. You’ve sent him back to me.” You bet she did and she had hated herself every moment since, Lil thought. “I can’t believe it! I mean, everything can go on as planned.”

             
Lil didn’t even try to keep her face a blank mask. She had to wonder if Chloe was catching the I-don’t-give-a-shit look she knew she was throwing off.

             
“That’s part of why I’m here.” Chloe reached into her purse and took out an envelope. She held it out for Lil to take, but Lil made no move for it. When Chloe realized Lil wasn’t accepting whatever it was she was trying to give her, she lowered her hand and the smile on her face finally faltered.

             
“I wanted to invite you to the wedding. I had to have the printers print an extra copy because it was so last minute. My parents, they’ve invited practically the entire state, not to mention most of the surrounding states,” she said with a chuckle.

             
“I know it’ll probably be weird for you, you know, since Sam is your ex and everything, but if it wasn’t for you then I wouldn’t be having my dream wedding. So,” she started to stick her hand out again but pulled it back midway. Seeming very uncomfortable, for which Lil was glad, Chloe sat the envelope on the Ellie’s desk.

             
“I understand if you can’t make it. I just wanted to include you as our guest. It’ll be fun.” Her words came out sounding like she was trying to convince Lil. Like attending the wedding of her ex-boyfriend, lover – whatever he was – would be the place to be.

             
“It’s going to be at Saint Mark’s and the reception is on the roof of the Miles Tower. It has a great view of downtown and the river. Sam and I plan to leave right after the fireworks.”

             
What was Lil supposed to say? Sure! I’ll come. Make sure you save me a spot right next to you when we do the electric slide. No. There was nothing she could say so she didn’t.

             
Taking the hint that Lil wasn’t going to gush about how romantic it seemed that there would be fireworks to send them off, or how convenient it was that her daddy owned such a pristine building with an amazing rooftop view, Chloe started to back away to the door.

             
“Thanks again, Lil. Hopefully I’ll see you Saturday.” And with those parting words, Chloe Miles walked out of the closed shop and back to the man Lil hated a little more than she did fifteen minutes ago.

She would see Chloe when she decided to talk to Sam.

             
Which was going to be never.

~~~~

Sam sat alone at Rusty’s, opting for a glass of water at noon on Wednesday, rather than the beer he needed to get through the meeting he had called.

             
It could go one of two ways. Either Ellie was going to help him or she was going to yell at him. He was glad Kane offered to come because Sam already knew he had his best friend on board with his plan. Abe had to work but was also in the know. It was for the best he wasn’t here anyway. With the way his and Ellie’s relationship hadn’t seem to change, Sam didn’t need his other best friend throwing insults at the one woman he needed on his team for his plan to be successful.

             
He was surprised Ellie hadn’t called him in the days that had passed since he left Lil’s. It shocked him that she hadn’t hunted him down and made good on her promise that she’d hurt him if he hurt Lil.

             
The door opened, the bell sounding off loud in the empty room. Sam turned his head and was grateful it was Kane. He walked over, patting him on the back as he sat in the vacant stool to Sam’s right.

             
“You holding up okay?” he asked.

             
“We’re about to see,” Sam replied.

             
Just then, the door opened again and Sam’s stomach knotted up. He looked at her walking toward them, determination in every step. Her face was drawn tight, a sure sign that Ellie wasn’t happy.

             
She stood at the bar, keeping the empty stool on his other side as a barrier between them. Ellie put her purse on the wooden top, and then placed her hand on her hip, cocking it to the side.

             
With a cool tone and an inverted brow to go with her penetrating stare, Ellie said, “You know I’m going to kick your ass, right?”

             
“Let me explain,” Sam reasoned.

             
“Oh,” Ellie said in a dramatic fashion and rolling her eyes. “You damn well better. And I expect it to be good. No bullshit, Sam. Not this time.”

             
By the time he explained his side of the story with what happened with Lil, which had coincided with what Ellie had been told, he started the pitch that could help him get the love of his life back in his arms. When he was done, he waited for what seemed like days for Ellie to speak.

             
To help ease some sort of response out of her, he added, “If you help me, I promise you I’ll make this up to you. Whatever it is, consider it yours.”

             
“Sam, you don’t owe me anything. Lil on the other hand, you owe her so much more than some second rate, second chance.”

             
Hoping Ellie could see the honesty reflecting in his eyes he said, “I’m not asking for a second chance with her, Ellie. I’m asking for forever.”

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