Second Rate Chances (19 page)

             
The friends laughed and joked around like they had never been apart. It was easy. Almost as if they had picked up right where they had left off. Before all the breakup drama.

             
“This is nice,” Kane said wistfully. “Just like old times.”

             
“Plus one,” Abe said, eying Zach again.

             
“It's nice to be able to sit across from Sam and not want to gouge his eyes out with my pen.” Kane said. Everyone laughed, including Sam.

             
“Tell me,” Ellie said getting excited. “How awful is Sam as a boss?”

             
“If we’re going to have this conversation, I think I’m going to need another drink.” Kane said, standing from the table. “Anyone want one?”

             
Sam stood as well, kissing Lil on the check as he backed away from his chair. “I’ll go with you.”

             
Lil watched the two friends’ head to the bar together and signal for Rusty that they needed another round. Worry took over when she saw Sam’s face harden as he lowered his head to Kane and started speaking. He had been easy going all night long. Was there still some sort of trouble between them he hadn’t told her? Was tonight too much for him? Oh, God, she realized. Had being with all of them tonight suddenly brought on his memories? Was he confiding in Kane, asking for advice on what to do?

             
“What do you think those two are talking so seriously about?” Ellie asked. Lil shook her head. She had no clue what it could be about and was suddenly too afraid to ask Sam herself.

~~~~

Sam couldn’t take his eyes off of Lil as he asked Kane if he could speak to him for a minute, without the eyes and ears of everyone else around. She looked worried, her brow furrowing, her posture suddenly changing. He gave her a reassuring smile and winked at her for good measure.

             
The bar was packed so it took a little longer for their drinks to arrive. Sam used that time to grill his one-time best friend.

             
Not to beat around the bush, Sam said, “Lil told me.”

             
Sam could feel Kane stiffen beside him. He didn’t need to be looking at him to know that he was shocked Sam had so casually brought up what had happened between him and Lil.

             
“She told you?” Kane asked slowly. “Everything?”

             
Sam nodded. He looked at his friend and said, “The baby, the miscarriage, the breakup. Yeah, she told me.”

             
“How are you?” Kane asked. “I mean, are you okay?”

             
Sam shrugged. What could he say? It had happened in the past. A past he couldn’t remember. “I guess, although, I’m sure it’s going to suck when I do get my memories back. Knowing how I hurt her. Hearing her side of the story.

             
”What I want to know though,” Sam said, turning his back on Lil who kept glancing at him in between talking with Ellie. “Why in the hell didn’t you kick my ass?”

             
Kane looked down the bar, no doubt hoping Rusty would hurry. When he faced Sam again he said, “It wasn’t for lack of trying, believe me. We tried to talk to you, hell we tried to talk to her but you are two of the most stubborn people I’ve ever met.  And I live with Abe!”

             
Kane sighed and leaned his forearms on the bar top, mimicking Sam. “You stayed with us after you moved out to give her space. We tried to convince you to go over there and talk to her but you said you tried. She wouldn’t listen to you. So I told you to make her listen. But–”

             
“I didn’t.” Sam stated.

             
Kane shook his head. “No, you didn’t.” Sam heard his deep exhale of breath before he added, “You only stayed a few nights. Then you didn’t come back. Abe and I thought you were working things out. That was until we showed up for work one morning and saw you passed out at your desk. Instead of going home or coming over to my house, you resorted to sleeping at the office.

             
“You stayed up all night long working on games. I guess you could say your hard work paid off because within the week, Mr. Miles had put you up in one of the condos in his building. Then you got the promotion and you were out of the basement and in the offices. That’s where things between the three of went downhill. But, I’ve already told you all of that. No need to dig up old dirt.”

             
“I seriously fucked up with her, and you, didn’t I?”

             
Kane didn’t say anything at first. Finally he answered with, “You did, but I can tell you’re trying to make things right again. That’s what counts, Sam. It sucks you had to lose your memory to do it, but...” He shrugged his shoulders as if to say, what can you do.

             
“Yeah, that’s my catch twenty-two,” Sam said. “I don’t want to remember because I feel like things are right where they should be. Or at least, with some time they would be. But then, I want to remember so I know what was going on in my head. I’m just afraid that when I do remember, I’m going to hurt her all over again.”

             
He looked at Kane, his eyes pleading with his best friend. “I can’t hurt her, Kane. I love her.”

153

SECOND RATE CHANCES

CHAPTER 22

When Sam and Lil arrived back at her house, he walked her to the door, ending the night on more of a real date note.  There was a kiss goodbye, a promise to call, and Lil inviting him in. He hated to turn her down but he wanted one thing to be right. If he and Lil decided to take that next step, he wanted it to be perfect. Not after a night at a bar smelling like smoke and alcohol.

             
He had remembered to invite her to his dad’s annual party and was relieved when she agreed to go.

             
Here he was now, walking into her house, not bothering to knock, like it was his own. He didn’t call out to her. He wanted to take her by surprise as she readied herself for his family’s Christmas party. Maybe catch her primping in the mirror, putting her shoes on. If he were lucky maybe she’d be half-naked. It was only fair.

             
He walked to the bedroom, the first time he had taken that path since she had allowed him back in her life. He stood in the doorway, using the door jamb as a stabilizer.  Lil turned around in circles to watch the white silk of her dress spin out around her. It should not have surprised him how beautiful she was yet every time he saw her he was blown away by her sheer beauty. He had known this girl for the better part of his life. Even waking up first thing in the morning she was breathtaking.

             
Jumping back in with her hand over her heart, she yelped. "You scared me!"

             
He said nothing in return, only continued to stare at her from his perch against the doorframe. His hands were stuffed in his front pockets, his feet crossed at his ankles. His eyes traveled up her body. He held back a smile as she shivered from the way he drank her in.

             
Sam took measured steps across the room. When he reached her, his hands went to her waist and he pulled her close to him. Slowly, as if time around them had stopped, he dipped his head and brushed his lips against hers. She moaned at the contact and from the effort he put into making her feel like she was the sexiest woman alive.

             
When he drew back he whispered, "You look amazing."

             
Sam stood back, keeping Lil at arm’s length by holding on to her hands as he took in the stunning dress she wore. The top half of the dress had thin straps that lay perfectly against her shoulder. The neckline dipped to form a heart-shaped cut that was adorned with thousands of tiny beads and crystals so that each time the light hit her, she sparkled. A thick strap of white silk flowed in two tiers down her thighs and stopped just short of her knees. When she spun around, she looked like a dancer in flight.

             
She paired the stunning dress with a pair of silver glittered heels that made her more equal to Sam's six foot frame. At almost his level, she hardly had to look up to meet his eyes. And for once, they were going to leave the house as just that, equals. Neither of them knew what to expect from the partygoers or what to expect at the end of the night. But if he played his cards right, maybe they'd end up right where they were now. He was ready to cross that line with her and tonight seemed like it could be the right time.

             
Before they stepped outside, Lil picked up a white, faux fur wrap from the kitchen table. Sam took it from her, his mouth drawn in a tight line as he draped it over her shoulders. He wanted to run his tongue over her shoulders, up to her neck, and tease the sensitive spot just below her ear. He wrapped his arm around her waist as they walked down the slippery sidewalk to his car.

             
He held the door open for her and softly shut it when she was safely inside. Sam eased himself in and started the car. The engine gave a tiny purr. If he had to name one thing he liked about his new life, it was his car. Given the right motivation, he had no doubt this piece of precision could go.

             
“This is a pretty amazing car,” she said once they were
down the street. “So unlike you;
so posh.” He could see her, through the corner of his eye, feeling the leather of the seats.

             
Sam wondered if Lil felt self-conscious about being in a car that Chloe had more than likely had a say in. Did she feel awkward sitting in the passenger seat that Chloe had probably sat in often?

             
Not allowing the thoughts of the girl he didn’t know taint their evening, he lightened the mood and said, "I know, right?" He smiled. "I must have really good taste."

             
While his right hand held the job of shifting gears, it didn’t deter him from holding Lil's left hand.

             
They drove the same route as the day they went to Grayson’s. When they sped past the tree farm, Sam felt Lil give the tiniest squeeze of his hand. He gave her a reassuring squeeze back, letting her know he no longer cared about Toby Grayson. It happened. It was over and done and Sam had no right to be angry.

             
His dad’s house was on the outside of the city limits of the Village where the residential neighborhoods began. It took nearly twenty minutes to get there from Lil's. The drive was nice in a way that most of the area they passed were residential homes lined on Main Street with the sidewalks on each side of the road and the large colonial homes all dressed up in their Christmas lights.

             
When they pulled up to the house, it was as beautifully decorated as the other houses they had passed. The one story, modest home had icicle lights that extended all the way up to the pitch of the roof. The columns on the porch all had wrap around strands of lights twinkling about and elaborate wreaths hung in every window. His dad kept it simple. No blow up snowmen or Santa’s on motorcycles in his yard.

             
Hand in hand, Lil and Sam walked up the stone path to the front door. “You ready?” Sam asked one hand in hers while the other hesitated on the doorknob. Lil nodded and the front door opened to a house full of merry folks dressed in their best.

             
“Merry Christmas,” a voice boomed from the dining room. Paul Travers stuck his head into the hall to see who had arrived. When he saw that it was Sam and Lil his face lit up just as bright as the lights on his house.

             
He politely excused himself from whomever he had been speaking with and stepped into the hall to pull Sam into a handshake hug. Reluctantly, Sam had to let go of Lil’s hand so that his father could properly hug her.

             
“Thank you for coming, Lil,” Paul said. “This has never felt the same without you here.”

             
Sam watched as Lil nodded her head and blinked several times, trying to keep the tears at bay. Leave it to his dad to have Lil crying when they hadn’t been there all of two minutes

             
“You two get in there. Watch the eggnog. Peter has started early this year.” It was only tradition for Sam’s Uncle Peter to spike the eggnog with whatever his poison of choice was that he kept in his flask. “Don't forget to say hello to your Aunt Edna, Sam.” Sam groaned just like a little boy. Paul gave him a stern look before returning to his guests in the dining room.

             
“Aunt Edna,” Lil said covering her mouth with her hand so no one could see. “I forgot about her.”

             
“Lucky you,” Sam muttered.

             
“Look who it is,” a voice rang out behind them. “If it's not my favorite brother and the most beautiful girl in the world.”

             
“I'm your only brother,” Sam retorted.

             
“Doesn’t mean you have to be my favorite. Although,” Joshua said, appraising Lil with his eyes. “You are quickly becoming my favorite by bringing this lovely lady tonight.”

             
“Been hitting Uncle Peter's stash?” Lil teased. Joshua picked her up and spun her around, her dress splaying around her body. Sam bit his bottom lip to keep from groaning out loud as the dress rose up and revealed a quick peek at her butt cheek.

             
“Hey now,” Sam said in what was supposed to be a joking tone but really, he wanted his brother to put Lil down. No telling who else was watching Josh’s display and Sam wanted to keep what Lil had going on under her dress for his eyes only. “Can I talk to you for a minute? Alone,” he added with emphasis.

             
“Ah, don't be like that Sam. It’s Christmas. Let’s not get into tonight. Let’s save it for when you remember and then we can go back to being dickheads to one another.”

             
“In the kitchen.” Sam glared at his brother. “Now.”

             
He leaned over and brushed his lips against Lil’s cheek. “Give us just a minute.” Lil nodded and made her way to the living room where, without seeing her, Sam could hear his Cousin Anna squealing Lil’s name.

             
Sam led his brother into the kitchen, where Joshua fixed himself a drink. “You want one?” he asked.

             
“No.” Sam shook his head then asked, “want to tell me why you ran out of my hospital room like I had the plague?”
             

             
“No,” Joshua said, after taking a drink from his glass. “Not really.”

             
“Too bad. I do.”

             
“Fine!” Josh threw his hands in the air. “You want to do this now? We’ll do this now. You’ve got no time for Dad or me anymore. It’s Chloe this and her dad that. Or work, work, work. Fuck man! I miss my brother. You haven’t stayed at one of these parties since that last year you and Lil were together. All you do now is stop by with some god awful expensive champagne that Chloe probably duped you into buying thinking it would be a,” Josh twirled his fingers like it was a big to do, “wonderful gift, when really, all we do is throw it away the next morning.”

             
Joshua drained the rest of his drink while Sam stood there dumb founded.

             
“You are,
were
,” Josh corrected, “my best friend.” He looked at his brother, his eyes glassy.

             
“Josh,” Sam said, his voice betraying him. “I’m sorry. I know it’s not enough, but I’m sorry.”

             
Josh lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “You’re here. That’s enough. Just…don’t leave us again. Whatever happens, don’t treat me and Dad like we embarrass you.”

             
Unable to stop himself, Sam drew his brother in a fierce hug, holding him tight. The hole Sam had dug himself in just kept getting deeper and deeper. When he remembered the past three years, he was going to make sure he had a shovel nearby.

             
“Sam,” Joshua croaked out. “I can’t breathe.”

             
Sam pulled away hastily, mumbling his apologies. Josh nodded his head to the living room. “Go save your girl. I think Uncle Peter is hitting the hard stuff tonight.”

~~~~

A firm hand clamped down on Lil’s shoulder causing her to jump and nearly spill her drink all over her white dress. "Lookie, lookie,” a slurred voice called. “If it isn't Lily Willie.”

             
Lil groaned. She had always hated the nickname Uncle Peter had given her. “Uncle Peter” she turned, plastering a fake smile on her face. “It's so good to see you.”

             
“You still taking those pictures?” he asked.

             
“I am. You need some done?”

             
“As a matter of fact I do.” He leaned in so that no one could hear him. “I was actually hoping to make a portfolio to send to Playgirl. You know they're hiring models, right?”

             
Lil choked on her drink as it went down her throat. The unfortunate image of Uncle Peter, hairy old Uncle Peter, striking poses to send to Playgirl was now sadly, in her brain.

             
“Leave the poor girl alone, Peter.” Paul said. Lil's very own personal savior. “She doesn't want to hear about your plans to be People's next sexiest man alive.”

             
“You sure know how to ruin a good time, you know that?” Uncle Peter said with a pout. “Keep in mind what I said. If you decide to do it, when I make it big I'll make sure you're rewarded.”

             
Uncle Peter stepped away. His hand was buried in the breast pocket of his tweed jacket where he had his flask of whiskey stowed away. Paul was laughing softly next to Lil.

             
“Sorry about that but…” He shrugged. “You know how he is.”

             
“That I do,” she commented. “So, how are you?”

             
“I'm doing really well. You? Sam seems to be in better spirits.”