Second Rate Chances (24 page)

             
When she pulled into Rusty’s parking lot, she wasn’t surprised to find the place overflowing with people. Since college, this was where she and her friends spent the end of one year before embarking on another. Except for the last three.

             
Pushing past the people milling around the door, Lil spotted her friends at their regular table. A table for six that tonight would only seat five. That empty seat was mocking her. Reminding her that her friends were happy and in love while Lil was…in love. There was no point in denying the fact that yes, she was in love with Sam. She had never been out of love with him. Which was why she had to do something for herself tonight. Not ring in the New Year surrounded by couples who would be kissing at the stroke of midnight. Tonight Lil had to spend it with Lil. And her mysterious date.

             
“Hey,” she greeted them and pulled up the chair next to Kane. Abe and Zach were in a friendly discussion that seemed to sit well with Ellie. She wasn’t throwing daggers in Abe’s direction so apparently they'd made progress.

             
“Hey,” Kane said, pulling Lil into a hug as she sat down. Ellie poured a glass of champagne for Lil from the ice bucket Rusty had provided for all of the tables and handed it to her.

             
“Thank you,” Lil said. “But I’m not having more than one. I’m not going to stick around that long.”

             
Lil almost missed the look that passed between Ellie and Kane. She wondered what it could be about. If Lil had to guess, it was probably two people worried about a friend and not wanting that friend to spend the evening alone.

             
“Where are you going?” Kane asked, his arm on the back of her chair. Lil took a sip of her champagne, the bubbles tickling her nose.

             
“I have a date,” she said.

             
Ellie’s eyes bugged out and Kane stiffened at her side. What was up with them tonight?

             
“A date?” Ellie asked.

             
Lil nodded. “Yup. I need to be at the river by eleven. Parking is a bitch down there with the fireworks and I need to make sure I’m there early enough to find a spot.”

             
“Eleven?” Kane questioned.

             
“That’s what I said,” Lil repeated. “Why? You two are acting weird. What’s going on?”

             
“Nothing,” they both said a little too jumpy at the same time.

             
“We just thought you’d want to ring in the New Year with us,” Ellie added.

             
“What?” Abe yelped. “Lil, you aren’t going to be here at midnight?” He poked out his bottom lip and Lil couldn’t help but laugh.

             
“Sorry guys,” Lil shrugged. “I’ve got things to do.”

             
“You can’t stay a few minutes past eleven?” Kane asked. “I mean, this is the first time we’ve all celebrated in a
longtime
.”

             
“I’m with Kane, Lil. Any way you can call your date and reschedule? Like for tomorrow?” Ellie asked.

             
“No,” Lil said drawing out the word. “I’ve made plans and it’s rude to back out. Besides,” she looked around at all the other couples paired off in the bar. “I don’t think I’d be the best company tonight.”

             
The subject was dropped after that, but Lil still couldn’t fend off the feeling that something was up. Ellie had never been one to try and get Lil to stay longer than she had planned. She always understood when Lil was ready to go.

             
Kane and Abe, she could understand. They hadn’t spent the holiday with her in a while and she hated leaving them this year, but she needed to do this for herself. If she had any hope of making the New Year better than the last three weeks had been, Lil needed to go down to the river and pray.

~~~~

Sam had just finished packing the last few things from his condo into his car when his cell phone rang. It was half past ten, and he was about to head to Rusty’s, where hopefully he would meet Lil and profess his undying love for her.

             
Kane’s number flashed and Sam smiled. He was probably calling to tell him that Lil had arrived and that they were all set.

             
“Hey man,” Sam said.

             
“She’s gone!” Kane said, frantic.

             
Sam’s heart dropped. “What do you mean she’s gone?”

             
There was a rustling on the other end like the phone was being covered by something.

             
“Sam?” It was Ellie. “We tried to keep her here. We didn’t know what to say without sounding up to something.”

             
“That ship has sailed,” Sam heard Abe say in the background. If Sam had to guess from the slurred speech, he’d bet Abe was three sheets to the wind.

             
“Where is she?” Sam gunned his car through the snow-covered streets.

             
Silence met him on the other end. He thought the connection might have been dropped until he heard the faintest of whispers.

             
Something wasn’t right. Sam turned the wheel, taking the curve a little too fast. Ending up back in the hospital was not the evening he had in mind. He needed to regain control of his car and his emotions.

             
“Ellie? Kane?”

             
“Yeah?” Kane answered.

             
“Where did Lil go? I can still carry on with the plan if you just tell me where she went.”

             
“Sam,” Kane said hesitantly. “Lil went down to the river.”

             
The river. They had a secret cove at the river.  Actually, professing his love to her and pleading with her to take him back might work out better than a bar full of drunken people in paper party harts and blowing on noisemakers. The fireworks would be going off at midnight and it could provide the perfect backdrop.

             
“The river?” he asked again to make sure he had heard him right. “Then I know exactly where she went. Thanks Kane.”

             
“Sam,” Kane said again with a little more force. “She’s not alone.”

207

SECOND RATE CHANCES

CHAPTER 31

Lil rarely came to the little hideaway spot she and Sam had discovered. The Fair Haven River had the promenade that went all along the front side of the river. The pavilion, the parking spaces, vendors and merchants, they were all set up along the river causing it to be a crowded party when there were events.

             
No one came to this side because it was so far out of reach from the food vendors and the beer stands. There weren’t even bathrooms on this side. But that’s what she and Sam had loved about it. Nestled under rock cavern was a tiny alcove that they had deemed theirs.

             
Now here she stood, waiting for her night to begin. She looked at her wrist to the bracelet Sam had given her for Christmas. The infinity symbol staring back. She couldn’t seem to take it off even though it’s meaning of everlasting love was lost on her, especially when she was afraid that all she would ever feel was everlasting heartache.

~~~~

Like a bat out of hell, Sam drove his car through the town square toward the man-made river. He maneuvered his car to the open field that was serving as a makeshift parking lot.

             
He ran across the field and over the bridge until he saw her shape begin to take form. The thought that she was out here with another man nearly killed him but he was determined for her to hear him out.

             
Sam controlled his heavy footsteps as he walked, coming to a standstill when he saw a blanket laid out with a basket holding down one of the sides. In front, a camera tripod being adjusted by Lil was front and center. Her date was her camera. He shook his head not believing that she had convinced their friends she had a hot date.

             
Sam studied her for a moment while he was undetected. The full moon in the sky shone brightly down upon her, making her dark brown hair reveal mahogany highlights. “Delilah,” he whispered into the night.

             
The sound of his voice caused her to jump. With her hand clutched to her chest she said, “You scared the crap out of me. What are you doing here?”

             
“Looking for you.” His hands were shoved deep into pants pockets, the tuxedo jacket doing little to take the chill out of the air.

             
“Well, you found me.”

             
“Can I explain, please?” Sam took a minute to catch his breath now that he was facing her. Standing a mere three feet away was torture to him but he wouldn't force himself upon her.

             
“I didn't go through with it,” Sam said before she could deny him the chance to bear his soul. He watched as her expression went from pissed to shocked in a matter of seconds.

             
“Why?” Her voice remained strong. He watched her cross her arms over her chest.

             
“Because of you, Lil. I couldn't marry her because of how I feel about you.”

             
“And how is that?”

             
He took a timid step forward not breaking eye contact with her. “You're my everything. Always have been and always will be. You may want nothing to do with me after this but at least I can say I tried. I have to try, Lil. Because last time I did nothing. I hurt,” his hand pounded his chest, right where his heart was. “My God, how I hurt when we lost the baby. I was so happy. A part of you, a part of me was growing in your body. How amazing was that? No matter where we went in the world, there would be this forged being who was you and me. I was so excited. It was a whole new chapter of our lives and I was looking so forward to watching your body change and grow.

             
“But that day you miscarried, I lost a part of myself. Not only in the form of our baby but in you. You held the light in my eyes and without that light I couldn't see the world in front of me. I was losing you and I didn't know how to pull you back. I didn't know what to do to save you.

             
“I thought giving you space would help but all it did was distance us even further. I wanted to reach out to you but for the life of me I didn't know how. Staying late at work, sleeping on the couch, I honestly thought you couldn't stand to be around me. That's why I was away so much. 

             
“I thought you didn’t want me. Like I wasn’t good enough for you anymore. So, I left. I didn’t know what to do. I know now I should have made you talk to me, but I was afraid of what you might say. I took the coward's way out and let you drift further away. That space I tried to give you by moving out wasn't supposed to be long term. I never meant to be gone forever but, I did. Work took over because it helped me not think about how much I missed you. I created my own personal hell that I couldn't escape. Before I knew it, I was promoted and then Chloe was always around. You didn't call, I never saw you. It was like you dropped off the face of the Earth. I thought that you were trying to make a clean break from me without hurting my feelings so I let you go. I devoted every waking minute I had to Titan. I got so caught up in the hoopla of after dinner parties that I lost my friends. At the end of the day, the only person who was still there was Chloe.” Sam took a few steps toward Lil testing the waters. She stayed put. He took that as a good sign. At least she wasn’t backing away from him.

             
“I know it's not right and it doesn't excuse my behavior but she was there. When I thought you weren't, she was. I was at the top of the Titan ladder. I never said anything but I always felt like our relationship was one of convenience; for her to have a provider and for her father to have a successor. I felt trapped and I didn't know how to break free.”

             
Sam regarded Lil before he went any further. The next part, the most important part of his speech had nothing to do with Chloe or Titan. It had everything to do with her.

             
“You asked me not long ago what I was going to do when I woke up and remembered the day I fell out of love with you. Well, I don't remember that because it never happened. Lil, I could never fall
out
of love with you because I never
stopped
loving you. I've been here like I'm waiting on you to come back to me when I should have been the one going back to you.”

             
Through the tears that leaked down her cheeks and into the creases of her lips, Lil spoke. “Why now? Why tell me this now and not a few days ago? You’ve had four days to come to me and tell me all of this.”

             
“Lil.” Sam sighed. “It doesn’t matter what I say to you, it doesn’t justify that I didn’t call you. I wanted to,” he stated. “I picked up the phone so many times in the last few days to tell you everything but I wanted it be perfect. This moment?” he said, pointing to the ground. “I needed for this moment to be perfect.” Sam laughed, despite the serious mood around them.

             
“I tried for this to be perfect, but you?” He looked up at her with a lopsided grin. “You never did make anything easy for me.”

             
“What’s that mean?” she questioned, her tears subsiding for the moment.

             
“I had this whole big moment planned out,” Sam said, throwing his arms out to his sides. “Ellie and Kane helped.”

             
Recognition registered across her face. Her mouth parted to form a soft
o
that her hand covered.

             
“That’s why they wanted me to stay at Rusty’s,” she realized. “You were coming up there all along?”

             
Sam nodded. “Yeah,” he said laughing again. “I wanted to show up and profess my love to you in front of all our friends.”

             
“And a room full of drunk people?” she asked skeptically which only caused Sam’s laughter to increase.

             
He bowed his head and looked down at the black patent leather shoes that went with the tux he was wearing. “I realize now it wasn’t the greatest of ideas.” He closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair, clearly frustrated.

             
He felt her before he saw her. She had moved to him, close enough that he could reach out to her and pull her to him, touch her face. He opened his eyes and nearly stumbled at the softness, the tenderness in her eyes.

             
With so much on his mind, all of it on the tip of his tongue, with her standing this close to him, all of his words, his promises of love and forever faltered.

             
Instead he said, “I quit my job.” His words elicited a tiny smile from her. “Kane, Abe, and I. We all quit together. We’re going to start our own gaming business. With all of our experience as testers, and my knowledge on the business end, we’re pretty confident we can compete in the market.”

             
Lil silenced him by placing her index finger over his lips. Her smile widened as she took that final step forward, breathing the same air as him.

             
“You look really handsome,” she said, her hands trailing up the lapels of his jacket. “Didn’t want a good tux to go to waste?”

             
Sam threw caution to the wind when he picked her up off the ground and held her close to him. Her legs wrapped around his waist; her arms tightly wrapped around his neck.

             
“It was all part of my master plan. If telling you how much I can’t live without you and want to be in your life forever and ever didn’t work, I was banking the suit would.”

             
Lil threw her head back and laughed. In an instant, her smile faded and a frown started to form.

             
“What are we doing, Sam? We’ve been down this road before and look how it turned out. You had to lose your memory to find your way back to me.”

             
“But I’m here now,” he whispered against her lips. He was so close he could have touched them with his own. He wanted to. It was killing him to have her in his arms and not kiss all of her doubts and fears away.

             
He set her gently down on her feet and reached inside his breast pocket for the box he had put there when he retrieved his last things from his condo.

             
The other box, the one that he had kept with him for the last three years, the one he wasn’t going to wait too long to give her this time, burned a hole in his pants pocket. Right next to the rabbits foot she had given him. A reminder that he’d never forget his love for her.

             
She watched him, the lines between her eyes, crinkling as he clutched the box in his hands.

             
“Delilah Rose Harper,” he said, taking both of her hands in his. “I love you. I’ve loved you since that first day at school when you told me your name.” Lil laughed and Sam joined in with her. “Who would have thought we would have come as far as we did.”

             
Sam got down on one knee and Lil’s hands immediately flew to her mouth. He opened the long box that didn’t hold her ring, but the beginning of their new memories.

             
When she saw the papers that lay inside, he could tell she had to fight back the laughter.

             
“I’m not going on your honeymoon with you,” she said.

             
“I traded those in,” he told her. “Lil, go away with me. I want pictures of you and me and our travels, our memories, on our walls. I want to start over with you. I want to build a life with you and make you the happiest girl in the world.”

             
“Where are they to?”

             
“Anywhere,” Sam breathed. Her eyes flew to his, a hint of longing in them.

             
“Anywhere?” she asked, lifting the airline tickets out for a better look.

             
“As long as I’m with you.” He shook his head and looked down to regain his thoughts. When he looked back into Lil’s eyes, all he saw was the same love and devotion he felt for her.

             
“I’ve already been to hell and back. This time, I want to go to paradise. I want to do whatever it is you want. Because all I want is you, by my side, from this moment until forever.”

             
“Forever?” she wondered aloud, her bottom lip trembling as she said the one word.

             
Sam stood up and cupped her face in his hands. Slowly, he moved in, brushing his lips against hers. The fireworks went off as the clock struck midnight, as well as the bright flash of a camera. Sam didn’t question the timing of the camera that was behind them, because he knew the images of them unifying their love would forever be captured on film and in his mind. This moment, this precious wonderful moment would remain with him for all of his days. The love of a relationship rekindled that was brighter than any light in the sky.