The New Male Sexuality (82 page)

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S. Leiblum & R. Rosen, “Introduction,” in Leiblum & Rosen (eds.),
Sexual Desire Disorders
(Guilford, 1988), 12–13.

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The willingness or motivation to act on sexual desire with one’s partner is also part of the thinking of therapist Stephen Levine. His work is complex, subtle, and important. “An Essay on the Nature of Sexual Desire,”
Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy
, 1984,
10
, 83–96; “Intrapsychic and Individual Aspects of Sexual Desire,” in S. Leiblem & R. Rosen (eds.),
Sexual Desire Disorders
, 21–44.

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P. Benchley,
The Deep
(Bantam, 1977), 63.

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Relationship dissatisfaction and conflict—whether about things erotic or not—seems to be one of the most important reasons for desire problems. H. Lief, “Foreword,” in S. Leiblum & R. Rosen (eds.),
Sexual Desire Disorders
, xii.

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On sexually abused males, a subject one doesn’t hear much about, see two books by M. Hunter:
The Sexually Abused Male
(Lexington, 1990) and
Abused Boys
(Lexington, 1990).

Acknowledgments

My heartfelt gratitude to the many people who made this book possible:

The clients and workshop participants I’ve worked with over the last twenty-eight years, with special thanks to those who read and made comments on earlier drafts of the chapters.

The many people who’ve called, written, and e-mailed me about the earlier editions of this book. By sharing their questions and concerns, these people and my clients provided the raw material on which the book is based. Many of their stories are recounted here, although their names and other identifying information have been changed.

The friends and colleagues who read and commented on the changes made for this edition. Because of the very tight deadline under which they worked, their contributions were truly above and beyond the call of duty: Linda Banner, Mary Buxton, Ken Goldberg, Irwin Goldstein, Meg Keller, Joe LoPiccolo, Marilyn Mansfield, Lou Paget, Joyce Polish, Ray Rosen, Ira Sharlip, and Anne Weiwel.

The friends and colleagues who read and commented on various chapters in earlier editions of the book or discussed the ideas in them with me: Bernard Apfelbaum, Robert Badame, Lonnie Barbach, Victor Barbieri, Dawn Block, David Bullard, Jill Caire, Sandy Caron, Isabella Conti, Gerald Edelstien, Albert Ellis, Carol Ellison, Suzanne Frayser, Joshua
Golden, Marsha and Allen Goodman, Jackie Hackel, Susan Hanks, Harriet Jacobs, Jo Kessler, Michael Kimmel, Arnold Lazarus, Sandra Leiblum, Joe LoPiccolo, Sumner Marshall, Diane Morrissette, Michael Perelman, James Peterson, Jackie Persons, Ayala Pines, Rebecca Plante, Richard Reznichek, Ray Rosen, Howard and Barbara Ruppel, Carolyn Saarni, Leslie Schover, Ira Sharlip, Deborah Tannen, Carol Tavris, Steve Taylor, Leonore Tiefer, Carol Wade, Anne Weiwel, Dan Wile, Robyn Young, and George Zilbergeld.

John Buffum for preparing the charts in the Appendix and providing ongoing consultation about the effects of drugs on male sexuality.

Marsha Goodman for helping with the illustrations.

My agent of many years, Rhoda Weyr, always there with a sympathetic ear and good advice, and my wonderful and tireless editor, Toni Burbank.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

BERNIE ZILBERGELD received his Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of California, Berkeley, and is the former head of the Men’s Program and co-director of clinical training at the Human Sexuality Program, University of California, San Francisco. He is in private practice in Oakland and is currently working on
Better Than Ever: Sexuality at Mid-Life and Beyond
, to be published by Bantam in 2001.