The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability (42 page)

GLOSSARY OF GENDER AND SEX TERMS • 333

Pansexual

Everyone has their own definitions, particularly with new words like pan-sexual. Here's how we like to think of it. While heterosexual suggests your interest is towards the opposite gender, homosexual suggests the same gender, and bisexual suggests either gender, being pansexual means that you identify as having a sexual orientation towards all people potentially. It is a much broader term that would encompass being attracted to people who don't identify as either male or female. It may also suggest that you acknowledge that you could be sexually aroused by a beautiful painting, or the sound a babbling brook.

Queer

The word queer has come to be synonymous with "alternative sexual identity." Queer was originally a derogatory word used against people who were seen as odd (or worse) because of their sexual orientation. But it has since been reclaimed by gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transsexuals (in the same way some disability groups have reclaimed "crip" and "gimp"). Now many people consider queer to describe a broader approach to sexual identity in which a person accepts a wide diversity of sexual practices (for example, S/M sex, polyamory, and fetishes) or has a sexual interest in a diversity of genders. Some use the term to describe a left-wing stance toward sexual politics. Others use the term because they just don't feel their sexuality fits into the heterosexual cultural norms that value marriage and monogamy over all else.

Transgendered

This is an umbrella term which encompasses people who feel that their lived gender differs from the "norm." Transgendered people may be transsexual (see below), or they may also cross gender lines in other ways. Transvestites (those whose gender identity includes cross-dressing, dressing in the apparel of the opposite sex), drag queens (who cross-dress to amuse, to entertain, or to make a political statement), butch (masculine identifying) and femme (feminine identifying) lesbians, and others identify as transgendered.

Transsexual

Transsexuals are people who identify as one gender but whose physical gender is that of the opposite gender. Male-to-female transsexuals (MTF for short) are born with the physical gender of men but identify as a female; and female-to-male transsexuals (FTM) are born with the physical gender of women but identify as male. People who are transsexual don't simply wish they were a different gender, they know they are that gender. They experience life as a gender different from the one they were born into. Transsexual people may be either heterosexual or homosexual.

Some transsexuals will undergo hormone treatment and/or sex reassignment surgery to alter their bodies to be more in line with how they feel inside. This process is called transitioning.

bowel movement, 85, 142, 147, 151, 154, 176

bowels, 85, 142, 147, 151, 154, 176, 269

Braille, 64

breasts, 38-39, 118, 149, 190, 260

breathing, 33-37, 117-119, 156, 158, 164, 167, 172, 175; and anxiety, 126; and arousal, 33; conscious, 34; difficulty, 6, 33, 129-130, 145; and orgasm, 137; Tantric, 34, 223-225, 227, 230-231, 233; and yoga, 226

Brent, Bill, 175

bulbar muscles, 44

butch, 333

butt plugs, 165, 198-200

caffeine, 142, 154

cancer, 260, 261

canes, 208, 246, 252, 255

caregivers, 32, 114, 151, 244, 274,

276-278, 280; see also personal

care attendant carpal tunnel syndrome, 63 catheters, 45, 81, 142, 148, 154, 182,

270, 277 centers for independent living, 98, 215 cerebral palsy (CP), 82, 141, 144-145,

172 cervical cancer, 261 cervix, 42-43 chanting, 226 chatrooms, 81, 82, 99, 100 chest pain, 129 China Brush, 209 chiropractors, 7 chlamydia, 258-259, 261, 283 chlorpromazine, 66 chlorthalidone, 66 chronic fatigue, 10-11, 29; see also

fatigue chronic pain, xi, 23, 49, 62, 80, 261;

see also pain

cimetidine, 66

cisplain, 66

clamps, 207, 208, 253, 254

clitical.com, 123

clitoral stimulators, 217

clitoris, 31, 39-41, 43, 47, 52, 54, 58, 110, 135, 137, 148, 156-157, 159, 171, 173, 175, 203, 214, 217

clofibrate, 66

clonidine, 66

cocaine, 66

cock and ball torture, 254

cock rings, 202-203, 204, 268

coffee, 55, 142

cognitive disabilities, x, 9, 64, 278

collars, 207-208

colostomy, 82

Come as You Are, xi

coming out, 20-24

communication, 3, 51, 52, 63-64, 67, 69-109, 128, 135, 147, 151, 171, 187-188, 235-236, 241-242, 245, 246, 248, 252, 264, 279, 280, 285, 288; assistance with, 8; nonverbal, 64, 71, 86, 90-92, 125, 134, 140, 149, 156, 160, 176, 241; nonvisual, 125; with health care providers, 107-109; see also negotiation; augmentative and alternative communication; TTY

community, 18-19, 32, 225

computers, 98-99; hackers, 99; software, 98, 125

condoms, 31, 85, 143, 163, 176, 197, 204-205, 218-219, 220, 258-260, 261-266, 270-271, 273; assistance with, 105, 265; and catheters, 143; female, 219, 271; lubricated, 206; nonlatex, 219, 264, 270-271; polyurethane, 219, 270

consent, 72, 102, 138-139, 236, 238-240, 242, 254, 278, 289

contraceptives, see birth control

crabs, see pubic lice

creams, 208-209, 219-220

crops, 254

337

cross-dress, 139, 333

cunnilingus, 144, 152, 155-159, 177,

267 cybersex, 69, 81, 82, 98, 102, 114,

249 cystic fibrosis (CF), 145, 242-243

D

dancing, 10-11, 62, 73, 92

dating, 10, 18-19, 26, 62, 77, 81-83, 87-88, 90, 93-95, 97-100, 113, 125, 134,. 145, 241, 249, 275, 279, 284

dating services, 97-100; online, 249

Delrin, 255

dental dams, 154, 176, 267

depression, 54, 64, 66-67, 129, 137, 147

Desikachar, Kausthub, 224-225

Desikachar, T. K. V, 224

desire, 13-15, 24, 53, 62, 63, 73, 74, 77, 79, 96, 101, 102, 106, 187, 212, 227, 244, 249, 255, 282, 288-289

developmental disabilities, x, 9, 278

devotees, 101

diabetes, 137, 146

diazepam, 66

digoxin, 66

dildos, 122, 162, 165, 170, 172-175, 176, 180, 187, 190, 196-198, 200-201, 215, 268; and allergies, 218-219; cleaning, 220; and gender play, 133; history, 271; realistic, 197; rubber, 197; silicone, 197-198, 219

disability community, xi, xii, 243

Disability Rag, The, ix

disability research, 57-58, 136

disability rights, 5

discharge, 258-259, 261

discipline, 239

disclosure, 81-84

dis-n-tangle, xi

diuretics, 66, 154

doctors, see physicians

Dodson, Betty, 58, 115 dominant, 239 doxipin, 66 drag queen, 333 Duncan, Gosnell, 271 Duncan, Kath, 101 Durex, 270 DVDs, 222

Easy for You to Say: Q&A's for Teens Living with Chronic Illness or Disability xii

ejaculation, 53, 55-56, 59, 66, 142; in men, 45, 47, 55-56, 57, 116, 131, 137, 146, 149, 152, 163, 202, 209, 231-233, 266; in women, 41-42, 55, 143; retrograde, 56

email, 99, 100, 289

emotional health, 256

empowerment, xii, 20, 28, 57, 186-187, 235-236, 238, 242, 246

endocrine conditions, xii, 137

endometriosis, 10

endorphins 15, 247, 255

energy, 61, 62, 128-130, 151, 216, 225, 227, 228, 230

energy body, 228

environmental disabilities, x, 208

epilepsy, 146-147

erectile tissue, 41, 44, 46, 51, 54

erection, 39, 45, 53-54, 131, 148, 149, 173, 185, 200, 209; and cock rings, 202-203; difficulty with, 28, 85, 114, 130, 151; and medication, 66, 147; painful, 146; and penis pumps, 203-204; retrograde, 146

erotica, 211; see also books; pornography; videos

escort agencies, 103-104

Essential Tantra, The, 230

estrogen, 66

exhibitionists, 139

expectations, 14, 26, 51, 63-64, 73, 124, 126, 135, 148, 153-154, 230

EZ-On, 141, 264, 270

family, 5, 7, 12, 20, 22, 32, 70, 92-93, 115, 244, 248, 278-279

fantasy, 14, 51, 58, 63, 64, 65, 70, 75, 84, 109, 117-118, 120, 131-132, 133, 136, 169, 176, 186, 191, 200, 210, 229, 234-235, 245, 248-249, 251, 282

Fatale Media, 169

fatigue, 24-25, 62-63, 129, 146, 147, 260; and communication, 64, 76; and masturbation, 121; and negotiation, 252; and positions, 184; and safewords, 240; and sex toys, 213, 215-216; and sexual response, 144

feathers, 37-38, 119, 122, 134, 190, 207-208, 253-255

fellatio, 155, 159-163

femme, 333

fetishes, 101, 138-139, 249-250

films, 177

Finger Fitting Products, 214

finger fucking, 171

fisting, 171-172

flagellation, 208, 246-247

flashbacks, 241-242, 282, 285

flirting, 77, 86-90

floggers, 208, 216, 217, 220, 246-247, 253-254

foot fetish, 139

foreplay, 3, 63, 134, 154

foreskin, 45, 159-160, 265

frenulum, 45-46, 160

friction, 45, 119, 122, 148, 160

frotteurism, 139

FTM, 334

Fukuoku, 214

gloves, 170-171, 176, 218, 255,

267-268, 269-270 glycerin, 206, 209 gonorrhea, 259, 261, 283 Good Vibrations, 169 Grafenberg, Ernst, 42 Grant, Cameron, 213 group homes, 7 G-spot, 41-42, 48, 55, 58, 171, 175,

197

H

haloperidol, 66

handcuffs, 207, 243

harnesses, 133, 172, 174, 197, 200-

201, 215 health insurance, 237, 264 hearing impairment, 9, 10 heart disease, 33, 125-126, 129-130 heart palpitations, 130 heart rate, 33, 51, 54, 57, 126, 137,

269, 282 hepatitis, 176, 258, 267, 283 herbalists, 7 heroin, 66

herpes, 259-260, 271, 283 heterosexuals, 22, 38-39, 169, 178, 212 hospices, 7 Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto,

xii Hotmail, 99 human immunodeficiency virus (HIV),

6, 165, 260-261, 267, 283; testing,

263-264 human papilloma virus (HPV), 261,

271,283 hydralazine, 66 hypersensitivity, 139, 143-144, 217-

218

gays, 19-20, 22, 39, 92, 150, 210,

212,291, 331,333 gender, xi, 97, 106, 330-331; identity,

22, 30; play, 132-133, 139, 201,

245; roles, 147-148, 279 genital warts, 261

1

identity, 18-24, 30, 71

immune system, 217, 218-220, 260-261

incontinence, 24, 55, 59, 139, 142-143,

147, 154, infomercials, 72-73

339

insertion toys, 202, 217; see also sex

toys institutions, 7-8 intellectual disabilities, 9 International Professional Surrogates

Association, 103 Internet, x, 32, 81, 98-100, 102, 111

188-189, 221, 222,291 intersex, 22, 30, 332 intestinal parasites, 176, 261, 267 intimacy, 14, 23, 71, 85, 105, 150,

168-169, 173, 230, 277; see also

relationships "It's Time to Politicize Our Sexual

Oppression," ix

J

jackinworld.com, 123 joint pain, 177

K

Kaplan, Helen Singer, 53 Kegel excercises, 59-61 kidney disease, 129, 136-137 kissing, 3, 13, 67, 96, 145, 165-167,

177, 178,225, 241,274, 284 Krishnamacharya, I, 224

labia, 39-41,47 labia majora, 40 labia minora, 41 latex, 170, 255; and lubricants, 204;

see also allergies Latino, 20 leather community, see S/M

community lesbians, xi, 20, 22, 150, 177, 210,

212,279, 291, 331, 333 Lexan, 255 libido, 2, 61, 67 Liquid Silk, 205, 206 lotions, 208-209 lubricants, 122, 137, 146, 170-171,

175, 176, 199, 202, 204-207, 265;

and allergies, 206, 219, 269;

consistency, 205; ingredients, 206-207; and latex, 204-205; oil-based, 204-205; research, 206; and rubber toys, 204-205; silicone-based, 204-205; and silicone toys, 205; spermicidal, 271; taste, 154, 205, 206; water-based, 137, 204-205; water-soluble, 205 lupus, 129

M

magazines, 73, 111, 205; erotic, 210; fashion, 48; fetish, 139

Maintain, 209

marijuana, 66

marital aids, 191

massage oil, 208-209, 219

massage therapists, 7

massage, 134, 231; erotic, 102;

perineal, 45, 146, 232; prostate, 45

massagers, 192; see also vibrators

Masters, William and Johnson, Virginia, 53

masturbation, 4, 31, 34, 48, 52, 62, 63, 82, 110-123, 132, 137, 144, 147, 184, 187, 188, 192, 232, 243, 280, 282, 285; and self-esteem, 15; and water, 62, 116, 119-120, 122-123, 190; see also shower massager

mayerlabs.com, 264

media, 2, 67, 74, 177

medical establishment, 8, 68, 107, 138, 229, 243, 264, 285

medical technicians, 276-277

medication, 39, 47, 129, 146, 147, 216; and communication, 64, 108; and decreased lubrication, 137, 204; and difficulty reaching orgasm, 59, 66; and erection, 54, 173, 204; and masturbation, 120; and negotiation, 250; and reduced libido, 65-67, 144; see also ■ antidepressants

mental health, 256

methadone, 66

methyl paraben, 206

methyldopa, 66

milk-producing tissue, 39

mobility concerns, 29, 63, 139-140, 144, 216, 286; and positions, 184; and sex toys, 213, 214-215; and S/M, 246; see also accessibility

mobility disability, xi, 29, 101

monogamy, 333

Montegue, Ashley, 133

Morgan, Robert, 169

Morin, Jack, 174

MTF, 334

multiple-chemical sensitivities, 218-220

multiple sclerosis (MS), 9, 10, 147-148

muscular dystrophy (MD), 172

myths, 2-12, 72-73

N

naproxen, 66

National Spinal Cord Injury

Foundation, 271 naturopaths, 7 negative beliefs, 12, 14, 16, 29, 52,

55, 73, 91, 255 negotiation, with attendants, 104-107;

with partners, 83, 200; in S/M, 236,

250-252 neurological conditions, 58, 141 newsgroups, 99-100 newspaper, 72-73, 103 Night Rider, 201 nipple clamps, 208, 254 nipples, 38-39, 54, 116, 118, 148;

stimulation, 28, 38-39, 120, 122,

136, 145, 160, 165, 203, 208, 209,

254 nitrile, 268 nitrous oxide, 66 nondisabled people, x-xi, 5, 9, 10, 22,

31, 56-58, 63, 73-83, 85, 94, 114,