The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability (39 page)

Institute on Disability Culture www.dimenet.com/disculture

Not updated regularly. The institute's mission since 1994 has been to promote pride in the history, activities, and cultural identity of individuals with disabilities throughout the world. The purpose of this site is to provide information about and share examples of disability culture.

London Disability Arts Forum

www.ldaf.net

A disability-led organization focused on promoting disability arts and the work

of artists living with disabilities.

On a Roll Radio

www.onarollradio.com

The first and only live weekly syndicated commercial radio talk show on life

and disability.

RESOURCES • 297

Organizations

Disability Advocates of Minorities Organization

DAMO's purpose is to represent, promote, and celebrate the abilities of disabled people of color through the encouragement and development of public education, public awareness, self-advocacy training, networking, artistic expression, awareness training, and consulting. c\o Mission Council 820 Valencia St. San Francisco, CA. 94110 www.sfdamo.freeserves.com [email protected]

Not Dead Yet

A national disability rights group opposing the legalization of physician-assisted

suicide.

Progress CIL

7521 Madison St.

Forest Park, IL 60130

(708) 209-1500, fax (708) 209-1735, TTY (708) 209-1826

www.notdeadyet.org

Gender, Queer, and Transsexual/Transgender Resources

Print

Body Alchemy: Transsexual Portraits, by Loren Cameron (Cleis Press, 1996).

Exile and Pride: Disability Queerness and Liberation, by Eli Clare (Consortium Books, 1999).

Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women, and the Rest of Us, by Kate Bornstein (Vintage Books, 1995).

The Last Time I Wore a Dress: A Memoir, by Daphne Scholinski (Riverhead Books, 1997).

Miss Vera's Finishing School for Boys Who Want to be Girls, by Veronica Vera (Doubleday, 1997).

My Gender Workbook: How to Become a Real Man, a Real Woman, the Real You, or Something Else Entirely, by Kate Bornstein (Routledge, 1997).

Pomosexuals: Challenging Assumptions About Gender and Sexuality, ed. by Carol Queen and Lawrence Schimel (Cleis Press, 1997).

Restricted Access: Lesbians on Disability, ed. by Victoria Brownworth and Susan Raffo(Seal Press, 1999).

Sex Changes: The Politics of' Transgenderism , by Patrick Califia (Cleis Press, 1997, 2003).

Womyn's Braille Press

www.concentric.net/~tbraille/wbp/contents.htm

This publisher has been producing feminist literature on tape and in braille, with the help of dozens of volunteers, for nearly fifteen years. Its catalog contains more than 800 books. The titles are available in the United States through the National Library Service for the blind. If you are not registered with the NLS program, but have a print reading disability, contact WBP at (800) 424-8567 to enroll in the program and locate your nearest NLS library.

RESOURCES • 299

Online

Bent

www.bentvoices.org

A website for and about "cripgay men."

Deaf Queer Resource Center www.deafqueer.org

A nonprofit resource and information center that provides information and resources to and about the deaf lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered community. The website also has an associated IRC chat space and offers personal home pages.

Disabled Women on the Web

www.disabledwomen.net

Established by Corbett O'Toole of the Disabled Women's Alliance to provide

information, resources, and support for women with disabilities to continue to

change the world.

Eminism.org

www.eminism.org

The website of writer, speaker, and activist Emi Koyama, filled with articles

about disability, queer and trans politics, sex work, and much more.

Gender Links

www.songweaver.com/gender

An extensive collection of links to websites of transsexual and transgender resources.

Passing Twice

http://passingtwice.com

An informal network of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender stutterers and

their friends. The group meets every year at the NSP convention, and also

holds workshops at other stuttering conferences around the world. In between,

members keep in touch through a quarterly newsletter, an email list, and an

annual mailing list.

Queering Diabetes

www.queeringdiabetes.org

If you're lesbian, gay, bi, trans, intersex, queer, or simply questioning and you're

diabetic, or if you're a significant other, friend, family member, or ally of someone

with diabetes, then this site is for you. Writings, message boards, links, and more.

Youth Resources

www.youthresource.com/community/deaf/index.cfm

Resources, stories, and information by and about the deaf GLBTQ community,

with good information for youth as well.

Organizations

The Disabled Women's Network of Canada (DAWN)

RO. Box 22003, Downtown RO.

Brandon, MB, Canada R7A 6Y9

(204) 726-1406

www.dawncanada.net

[email protected]

Gender Education and Advocacy

A national organization focusing on the needs, issues, and concerns of gender

variant people.

RO. Box 33724

Decatur, CA 30033

www.gender.org

International Foundation for Gender Education (IFGE)

(IFGE) is a leading advocate and educational organization for promoting the

self-definition and free expression of individual gender identity. They are an

information provider and clearinghouse for referrals about all things which are

transgressive of established social gender norms. They maintain a bookstore

online and publish a magazine.

RO. Box 540229

Waltham, MA 02454

(781) 899-2212, fax (781) 899-5703

www.ifge.org

The Intersex Society of North America 4500 9th Ave. NE, Suite 300 Seattle, WA 98105 (206) 633-6077, fax (206) 633-6049 www.isna.org [email protected]

A public awareness, education, and advocacy organization working to create a world free of shame, secrecy, and unwanted surgery for intersex people (individuals born with anatomy or physiology that differs from cultural ideals of male and female).

RESOURCES • 301

Meeting People

Please note: Listings in this resource section do not necessarily mean we recommend the resource. The authors have not tried most of the places listed below. In some cases we have got referrals from friends and survey participants, but in other cases we know nothing about the service. As with anything else online, we suggest you proceed with some caution, particularly when someone is trying to sell you something.

Online Dating Services

Dating sites online have become big business in the past few years. Many of the larger and better-known sites (including www.match.com, www.kiss.com, and www.nerve.com) offer a great opportunity to browse through hundreds of personal ads, get ideas to write and post your own, and make contact with others. Below we've included some lesser-known sites that are disability specific.

Bent

www.bentvoices.org

An online magazine for and about "cripgay men." It also has a personals section.

Date Able

www.dateable.org

One of the more established online dating services specifically for people with

disabilities.

PeopleNet

http://members.aol.com/bobezwriter/pnet.htm

Contains articles about sexuality and some about sex and disability, along with

links to both heterosexual and gay dating sites plus personal ad sites.

Reach Out Magazine

www.reachoutmag.com

A web-based magazine and online dating service. You have to pay to access all

areas of the site, but some issues of the magazine you can view for free. The

full site contains live chat on its own private IRC server, online ads (personal or

for sale items), and message boards.

Newsgroups and Email Lists

Thanks to several large sites and Internet service providers that provide free and easy access to starting your own newsgroup, there are now several newsgroups (or lists) devoted to disability and specific sexual topics. Below are two of the larger sites that house these groups. You can go to these sites and search by the topic of a discussion group.

http://clubs.yahoo.com

http://clubs.excite.com

www.queernet.org

www-unix.umbc.edu/~korenman/wmst/forums.html

Camera Obscura

www.hicom.net/~oedipus/index.html

This excellent site compiles a wide variety of sites related to blindness

resources on the Internet. It offers an extensive list of email lists related to

blindness and dating.

Reproductive Health

Print

Mother to Be: A Guide to Pregnancy and Birth for Women with Disabilities, by Judi Rogers and Molleen Matsumura (Demos Vermande, 1992)

Reproductive Issues for People with Disabilities, by Florence R Haseltine (Paul H. Brooke, 1993)

Women with Physical Disabilities: Achieving and Maintaining Health and Well-Being, by Danuta Krotoski, Margaret A. Nosek, and Margaret A. Turk (Paul H. Brooke, 1996)

Online

The Genetic Cleansing Project

www.geneticcleansing.org

An excellent resource, providing links to websites, books, and news articles

about reproductive technologies, genetic screening, and, as the site puts it,

"the medical establishment's quest to cull the human herd."

RESOURCES • 303

Having a Daughter With a Disability: Is It Different for Girls?

www.nichcy.org/pubs/outprint/nd14txt.htm

Special gender issue of the National Information Center for Children and

Youth with Disabilities News Digest

Parents With Disabilities Online

www.disabledparents.net

Providing information, support, and resources to parents with disabilities since 1996.

Organizations

Center for Research on Women with Disabilities (CROWD)

CROWD is a research center that focuses on issues related to health, aging, civil

rights, abuse, and independent living.

3440 Richmond Avenue, Suite B

Houston, TX 77046

(800) 442-7683, (713) 961-3555

www. bcm. tmc. edu/crowd

crowd @bcm .tmc. edu

Disabled Womens Action Network of Ontario

Offers information resources related to reproductive health and reproductive

rights within Canada.

TTY (705) 494-9078

http://dawn.thot.net/index.html

[email protected]

Through the Looking Glass (TLG)

A disability community-based nonprofit national organization that has pioneered research, training, and services for families in which a child, parent or grandparent has a disability or medical issue. Their site includes extensive resource listings. 2198 Sixth Street, Suite 100 Berkeley, CA 94710

(800) 644-2666, (510) 848-1112, TTY (800) 804-1616 www.lookingglass.org

Sexuality: Disability-Specific Resources

Print

Many disability resource books now contain at least a page or two about sexuality. While it's seldom news to you, if you're interested in a particular disability or chronic illness you may find looking at those books first well worth a try We have included only books with sexual content, and magazines that frequently cover sexual issues.

Aan hartstocht Geen Gebrek, by Karin Spaink (De Brink, 1991).

An interesting collection of erotic photos of people with physical disabilities,

with text in Dutch. It may be hard to find, but is available for sale in Europe.

Being Sexual: An Illustrated Series on Sexuality and Relationships, by Dave Hingsburger and Susan Ludwig, illus. by James F. Whittingham. Available through Sex Information and Education Council of Canada, 850 Coxwell Ave., East York, ON, Canada M4C 5RI; (416) 466-5304.

Bob Flanagan: Supermasochist, ed. by A. Juno and V. Vale (Re/Search Publications, 1993).

Dis-n-tangle

A 'zine covering a range of queer disability topics, co-created by Fran Odette.

50 Cowan Ave.

Toronto, ON, Canada M6K 2N4

[email protected]

Dykes, Disability, and Stuff

A quarterly newsletter devoted to the health and disability concerns of lesbians. It is also unique in the range of accessible media available: standard print, large print, audio cassette, braille, DOS disk, and modem transfer. RO. Box 8773 Madison, Wl 53708

http://tps.stdorg.wisc.edu/MGLRC/Groups/DykesDisabilitiesStuff.html [email protected]

Easy for You to Say, by Miriam Kaufman (Key Porter Books, 1995).

Enabling Romance: A Guide to Love, Sex, and Relationships for the Disabled, ed. by K. Kroll and E. L. Klein (No Limits Communications. 2001).

Illustrated Guide to Better Sex for People with Chronic Pain, by Robert W. Rothrock and Gabriella D'Amore. Available through 201 Woolston Dr., RO. Box 1355, Morrisville, PA 19067; (215) 736-1266.

RESOURCES • 305

Intimacy and Disability, by Barbara R Waxman, Judi Levin, and June Isaacson Kailes. Available through National Rehabilitation Information Center, 8455 Colesville Rd., Suite 935, Silver Spring, MD 20910; (800) 346-2742.

Intimacy Sexuality and an Ostomy by Gwen B. Turnbull. Available through United Ostomy Association, (800) 826-0826.

Living and Loving: Information About Sexuality and Intimacy. Available through Arthritis Foundation, RO. Box 19000, Atlanta, CA 30326; (800) 283-7800.

Novel Approach to Sexuality and Disability by Georgie Maxfield. Available through Northern Nevada Amputee Support Group, 3985 Warren Way, Reno, NV 89509; (775) 828-0885.

Pushing the Limits: Disabled Dykes Produce Culture, ed. by Shelley Tremain (Women's Press, Toronto, 1996).

Real Crip Sex, by Robert Mauro. Available through 257 Center Lane, Levittown, NY 11756.

Sensuous Heart: Sex After a Heart Attack or Heart Surgery by S. Cambre (1990). Available through Pritchett and Hull Associates, 3440 Oakcliff Rd. NE, Suite 110, Atlanta, GA 30340; (800) 241-4925.

Sex and Back Pain, by L. Hebert (1992). Available though IMPACC, 1 Washington St., RO. Box 1247, Greenville, ME 04441; (800) 762-7720, (207) 695-3354.

Sex on Wheels

A newly published 'zine intended to create an open forum for discussion

through thoughts/opinions/stories about sex and disability.

[email protected]

Sexual Concerns When Illness or Disability Strikes, by Carol Sandowski (Charles C. Thomas). Available through 2600 South First St., Springfield, IL 62794; (217) 789-8980, (800) 258-8980.

Sexual Function in People with Disability and Chronic Illness, by Marca Sipski and Craig Alexander (Aspen Publishers, 1997).

Sexual Politics of Disability: Untold Desire, by T Shakespeare, K. Gillespie-Sells, and D. Davies (Cassell, 1996).

Sexuality after Spinal Cord injury: Answers to Your Questions, by S. H. Ducharme and K. M. Gill (Paul Brookes, 1997).

Sexuality and Chronic Illness: A Comprehensive Approach, by Leslie R. Schover and Soren Buus Jensen (Guilford Publications, 72 Spring St., New York, NY 10012; (800) 365-7006).

Sexuality and Fertility After Cancer, by Leslie Schover Oohn Wiley and Sons, 1997).

Sexuality and Multiple Sclerosis, by M. Barrett. Available through the MS Society of Canada, (800) 268-7582. See online resource below for link to the downloadable version of this book.

Sexuality and Spinal Cord Injury, by Sylvia Eichner McDonald, Willa M. Lloyd, Donna Murphy, and Margaret Gretchen Russert. Spinal Cord Injury Center, Froedtert Memorial Lutheran, 9200 West Wisconsin Ave., Milwaukee, Wl 53226; (414)259-3657.

Sexuality and the Person with Traumatic Brain Injury: A Guide for Families, by E. Griffith and S. Lemberg (F. A. Davis, 1993).

Sexuality and the Rheumatic Diseases: An Annotated Bibliography 1970-1982 (Arlington, 1983). Available through Arthritis Information Clearinghouse, RO. Box 9782, Arlington, VA 22209.

She Dances to Different Drums: Research into Disabled Women's Sexuality, by Kath Gillespie-Sells, Mildrette Hill, and Bree Robbins (King's Fund Publishing, London, 1998).

Women with Physical Disabilities: Achieving and Maintaining Health and Well-Being, ed. by D. Krotoski, M. Nosek, and M. Turk (Paul H. Brookes, 1996).

Film

Double the Trouble, Twice the Fun

Directed by Pratibha Parmer. Produced by Women Make Movies. Available from

Women Make Movies, 462 Broadway, #500 D, New York, NY 10013.

UK, video, 24 min., 1992.

www.wmm.com

(212) 925-0606

Sexuality Reborn

Produced by Dr. Craig Alexander and Dr. Marcia Sipski for the Kessler Institute

for Rehabilitation. Available from New Jersey Spinal Cord Injury System.

U.S., video, 48 min., 1993.

www.kmrrec.org/KM/nnjscis/sexuality_reborn.php3

(800) 435-8866

RESOURCES • 307

Sick: The Life and Death of Bob Flanagan

Directed and produced by Kirby Dick. Available from Lions Gate Films.

U.S., video, 90 min., 1997.

www.lionsgatefilms.com

Toward Intimacy: Women with Disabilities

Directed by Debbie McGee. Produced by Nicole Hubert. National Film Board

of Canada. Available from The National Film Board.

Canada, video and 16 mm., captioned, 61 min., 1992

www.nfb.ca

(800) 267-7710

Untold Desire

Produced by Eva Orner. Available from Filmmakers Library.

Australia, video, 53 min., 1994

www.filmakers.com/indivs/UntoldDesires.htm

Online

Bent

www.bentvoices.org

A website for and about "cripgay men," although it seems to be expanding (or

trying to) so as to include other voices in the queer disability community. It

also covers disability art and culture, both gay and straight. Offers a personals

section as well.

Come As You Are: Disability Resources

www.comeasyouare.com/index.cfm?andFA= Info.Disability_Resources

A great resource for information on making sex toys accessible, plus links to

other sex- and disability-related sites.

Cystic Fibrosis and Sexuality

wwwcysticfibrosis.ca/page.asp?id = 67

Two downloadable brochures, one for adults, one for youth, about sexuality

and CF.

Disability and Sexuality

www.gimpsex.org

An excellent resource with lists of articles, places to meet people online, and

other online and offline resources.

Disabled Hellas

www.disabled.gr

A collection of disability- and rehabilitation-related articles and books in the

Greek language. Contains a link to sexuality resources. This resource is also

available in print.

Diverse City Press

www.diverse-city.com

The publisher of excellent resources for people with developmental disabilities

and their care providers, with a focus on sexuality. Through this site you can

get all of Dave Hingsburger's books, which we recommend highly.

Empowerment Zone

www.empowermentzone.com

A site filled with articles related to empowerment. Check out its subsection

on sexuality for articles ranging from sex therapy and Tantric sex to online

etiquette.

Gimp Girl

www.gimpgirl.com

Offers four discussion forums, along with links to other sex and disability

resources.

Good Vibrations Web Magazine

www.goodvibes.com

A monthly collection of articles online that can be found on the Good

Vibrations website. Contains a column devoted to sex and disability.

How to Get Virtually Screwed: Finding Yourself Sexually in the Online

Underworld

www.mainstream-mag.com/gimpsex.html

An excellent online article by Douglas Lathrop about sex and disability.

Nerve Magazine: Sex and Disability Issue

www.nerve.com/Speciallssues/sexAndDisability

An online sex magazine that put together this special issue about disability.

Practical Suggestions from the Outsiders Club

www.practicalsuggestions.org.uk/contents.html

An information website run by the Outsiders, a British organization. Contains

suggestions on meeting people, having sex, building relationships.

Sex and Arthritis

www.orthop.washington.edu/arthritis/living/sex/01

A good overview article that discusses issues ranging from body image to positioning to emotional aspects of sex and living with arthritis.

RESOURCES • 309

Sex and Disability Bibliography from SIECUS

www.siecus.org/pubs/biblio/bibs0009.html

Annotated bibliography of books on sexuality and disability, prepared by Sex

Information and Education Council of the United States. Very thorough, but a

little out of date.

Sexual Health.com www.sexualhealth.com

The most comprehensive online source for disability and sexuality information. This is the best place to start any search for information, resources, and support regarding sexuality.

Sexuality and Disability Webliography www.bccpd.bc.ca/wdi/sex&dis.html

British Columbia Coalition of People with Disabilities provides this excellent and very recent (2002) collection of online, print, and video resources related to sexuality and disability. Covers a wide range of disabilities and chronic illnesses, as well as GLBT issues.

Sexuality and MS

www.mssociety.ca/en/help/publications.htm

An excellent online book about sexuality and multiple sclerosis. You can order

a hard copy of the book through the MS Society of Canada (visit the website for

contact information) or download the entire book free of charge from this link.

When a Man Is Interested In You Because You Are an Amputee: A Woman's

Perspective

www.usinter.net/wasa/contents8k.html

An article by Lynn Brancato offering a female amputee's perspective on devotees.

Women With Disabilities Australia: Sexuality Articles

www.wwda.org.au/sexualit.htm

An interesting collection of essays and articles about sexuality, reproductive

health, and sexual assault by women with disabilities.

Youth Resource

www.youthresource.com

Offers sex information related to identity, orientation, abuse, health, and more.

Also has a section on deaf youth.

Organizations

The Association to Aid the Sexual and Personal Relationships of People with a Disability (S.RO.D.) 286 Camden Rd. London N7 OBJ UK Tel: 0171-607-8851

Outsiders

BCM Box Outsiders

London WC1N 3XX UK

www.outsiders.org.uk

[email protected]

SexAbility

2398 Yonge St.

Toronto, ON, Canada M4P 2H4

(416) 486-8666, ext. 248

The Speak Up Project

This group has developed picture and word vocabularies for people who use augmentative and alternative communication. These include vocabularies for communicating during a medical examination, as well as words about sex, sexually transmitted infections, HIV testing, reproduction, birth control methods, and sexual abuse. www.aacsafeguarding.ca

RESOURCES • 311

Sexuality: General Resources

Print

Few of these titles contain disability-specific information, yet they are good places to start getting information that you can adapt to your own needs and situation.

Anal Pleasure and Health, by Jack Morin (Down There Press, 1998).

Becoming Orgasmic, by Julia Heiman and Joseph Lopiccolo (Fireside, 1988).

Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out, ed. by L. Hutchins and L. Ka'ahumanu (Alyson Publications, 1991).

Big, Big Love: A Sourcebook on Sex for People of Size and Those Who Love Them, by Hanne Blank (Greenery Press, 2000).

The Big O: Orgasms, How to Have Them, Give Them, and Keep Them Coming, by Lou Paget (Broadway Books, 2001).

The Clitoral Truth: The Secret World at Your Fingertips, by Rebecca Chalker (Seven Stories Press, 2000).

Deal with It! A Whole New Approach to Your Body, Brain, and Life as a Cur/, by Esther Drill, Heather McDonald, and Rebecca Odes (Pocket Books, 1999).

Erotic Massage: Touch of Love, by Kenneth Ray Stubbs (J- R Tarcher, 1999).

Erotic Mind: Unlocking the Inner Sources of Sexual Passion and Fulfillment, by Jack Morin (Harper Perennial, 1996).

The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities, by Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt (Greenery Press, 1998).

Exhibitionism for the Shy, by Carol Queen (Down There Press, 1995)

Fantasex: A Book of Erotic Games for the Adult Couple, by Rolf Milonas (Perigee, 1983).

Femalia, ed. by Joani Blank (Down There Press, 1994).

First Person Sexual, ed. by Joani Blank (Down There Press, 1996).

For Yourself: The Fulfilment of Female Sexuality, by Lonnie Barbach (Signet, 2000).

Full Exposure: Opening Up Your Sexual Creativity and Erotic Expression, by Susie Bright (Harper San Francisco, 1999).