Velvet Steel (16 page)

His movements slowed, but she still remained in limbo, enjoying the boneless, foggy feeling of the moment. Again and again he invaded her body until every last bit of ecstasy had poured through her system. Exhaustion overcame her, and she hung her head.

Noah curled around her body and placed a tender kiss between her shoulder blades. She shivered as he removed the blindfold and clamps. Her nipples throbbed as blood flow returned to them.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

She met his gaze and smiled. “Of course; you?”

“Perfect.” He tossed the items onto the floor, removed and disposed of his condom, and then dragged her down to the bed with him. He held her close, spooning her with his body and snuggling into her hair. He reached around her torso and gently caressed her nipples until the throbbing fully subsided. The act was so intimate that Kitty almost wept. This was what she wanted in life, to feel cherished and loved. While Shane was fun and exciting, Noah gave her the silent comfort she craved in her life.

She thought about Shane. Like Noah’s, his touch sent her libido into overdrive. They were much the same in some ways, different in others. What would it feel like to have not only one but two strong men care about her? Something like that would be a dream come true. She reached down and pulled the blankets up over them, creating a cocoon of warmth.

Noah placed a kiss on her shoulder. “You were perfect.”

“So you’ll stay?” she asked.

His grip around her middle tightened, and she turned her head to get a better look at him. “Please, Noah, don’t go. I need you.”

“I can’t stay in the same house with that man.”

Noah wasn’t even using Shane’s name now. That wasn’t good. Kitty sighed and rubbed his arm. “Go talk to him. Clear up whatever it is that’s eating away at you both.”

Noah was silent for a long time before responding. “I’ve already talked to him. It didn’t do any good.”

“Talk to him again.”

“You’re asking a lot. I’m not sure it’s possible for us to clear the air this time.”

Anger bubbled up, and she turned to face him. “This is supposed to be
my
weekend. You’re supposed to be
my
sex slaves, remember?”

He widened his eyes. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Good.” She snapped back the sheet and stood. “Because I don’t want to have both of you sulking around the cabin for the rest of the weekend. It ruins the mood.”

“Where are you going?”

“To shower.” She nodded toward the entrance. “You can shut the door when you leave.”

“Where are we going to sleep?”

She shrugged. “Where did you sleep this morning?”

“On the couch.”

“And Shane?”

“He never returned to the cabin.”

“You can sleep on the couch again, and he can sleep in the guest bedroom. Neither of you are coming back into this room until you’ve put aside whatever it is that has come between you.”

“Don’t you want to eat?”

“I don’t need food.” She was too angry and exhausted to care. She glanced out the window. It was twilight but felt more like midnight. Maybe some more sleep would help her gain perspective on the situation.

“Everyone needs to eat.”

“I grabbed something from the kitchen earlier. There’s no need to worry about me. Worry about your friend, and don’t return until things are back to the way they were.” She turned on her heel and retreated to the seclusion of the master bathroom before Noah could respond. A loud
slam
split through the air, adding finality to her decree.

Kitty pressed her ear to the door to listen for movement. Eventually she heard Noah get out of bed and get dressed. She let out a long, slow breath when she heard him leave the room and shut the door behind him.

Hopefully she’d done the right thing by pushing Noah and Shane together. They both seemed distressed. Couldn’t they tell that they needed each other? Once again loneliness rose and gripped her heart. How she would love to have someone care for her like those men cared for each other. Unfortunately it seemed Kitty was going to suffer the curse of her father and be alone for the rest of her life. Unlike her father, she wouldn’t even have the family business to occupy her time. She’d just be an old, penniless spinster. Pathetic. At least she could do her part to ensure Shane and Noah wouldn’t suffer the same sad fate.

With a heavy heart, Kitty turned on the shower and stood under the hot spray. As her body became more and more wet, Kitty became more and more depressed over her fate. It was going to be a very long night.

Shane thought a swim would help clear his head, but it didn’t. He walked the woods most of the morning, trying to come up with a solution, one in which he could be convinced that what he, Kitty, and Noah had shared in the bedroom could last. He couldn’t risk what had happened to his father. The pain, the heartache. It was too much.

Still without answers, he fell asleep by the lake’s edge for a few hours. It wasn’t the most restful sleep he’d ever had, and he woke up cranky. He trudged back to the cabin, still unsure of what to say to Noah, and was glad to find Kitty’s door closed and Noah nowhere to be seen. He slipped into the main bathroom and showered, hoping a hot water would clear his mind and help him make sense of the situation. It only made him more confused than ever. Shane had never felt so connected to two people, and it terrified him. He had always had feelings for Noah, but throwing Kitty into the mix just seemed to make everything so much more intense, it was almost overwhelming. Shane wasn’t an emotional guy. Sure, they might be having fun now, but what would they think of him a year from now, after they’d gotten to know the real Shane? Noah thought he knew Shane, but his friend only saw what he wanted to see. Shane could keep up his confident front with one person, but two? Impossible. They would eventually break down his defenses and see the insecurity deep inside. Becoming vulnerable wasn’t Shane’s style.

And yet if he did nothing, if he just treated this weekend like a onetime fling, he felt he’d lose both of them. He’d at least lose Noah, whose emotional outburst down by the lake still made his cock thicken and his heart ache. Shane wasn’t sure if he could make the commitment Noah wanted from him, not without some assurances in return.

Shane finished dressing and listened at the door. The cabin was quiet. He stepped into the hall and found Kitty’s bedroom door locked and the rest of the cabin empty. Where did they go? Had they already left him? Tears stung his eyes as he searched the house. He finally found Noah sitting on the futon on the porch, a beer in hand. It was early twilight, and a single porch light shone on him, giving him a halo of yellow light against the darkening sky.

Shane opened the screen door and stepped outside. Noah didn’t turn around, indicating to Shane that he was still mad. Shane sighed. He didn’t know what he’d do if he lost his partner. S&N Steel wouldn’t function without Noah. Hell,
Shane
wouldn’t function without him.

He took a hesitant step forward. “We need to talk.”

“Forget about it.” Noah glanced up from his beer. His gaze was distant, apprehensive. Shit, he was already separating himself from the relationship. “I never should have pushed you.”

Shane took another step and shoved his hands into his pockets. It was time to lay everything on the line and let the chips fall where they may. He could tell by the creases around Noah’s eyes, the tightness in those perfect lips, that this talk was long overdue.

“I know I said some pretty terrible things,” Shane began.

Noah snorted and continued to stare out into the surrounding forest. “I’ll say, but it’s nothing you haven’t told me before.” He shook his head. “I said forget about it. There’s nothing more to say.”

Ouch. “Noah, I didn’t mean—”

“Save it.” Noah held up his hand in dismissal. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Of course it matters.” Shane took his hands out of his pockets and stepped forward. “I just—” He drove his fingers through his hair. “I’ve just never cared about anyone this much.”

Noah snorted. “Cared about but not loved.” He put down his bottle on a nearby end table and turned to face Shane. “I can’t keep going on like this.” He shook his head. “It’s too hard.”

“I know. I don’t want you to.”

Noah waved his hand. “You can’t tell me that after all these years, after all the time we spent together, you feel nothing.”

“I do feel something.” Shane continued his advance. “Something strong. What I feel for you is stronger than what I’ve felt for anyone before.”

Noah pressed his lips together as a range of emotions ran over his features. “You may feel something, but it’s not love. If you loved me, then you wouldn’t have proposed this ridiculous outing with Kitty.”

“You don’t care for Kitty?”

“I didn’t say that.” Noah rubbed his forehead and sighed. “I’m not talking about Kitty. I’m talking about us.”

Shane wasn’t sure what to say. He wasn’t the type who used words like
love
and
forever
carelessly. When he said them to Noah, he wanted to mean them. “I care about you deeply. You know that.”

“You’re ashamed of me. You don’t want to love another man.” Noah picked up his drink.

“That’s not true.” At least, Shane didn’t think it was true. Was it?

“If it’s not true, then prove it.”

Shane held his hands out to his sides. “How?”

Noah turned back to the forest and took a long slug from his beer. “If you don’t know, then I can’t help you.”

“Noah, don’t be like that.”

Noah turned back to him, his eyes bright with tears. “I’ve tried everything to get you to come out of your shell and accept what we feel for each other. Nothing’s worked. Instead of focusing on us, you’re constantly in search of someone else to fill some imaginary need.”

“It’s not imaginary; it’s real. I care about you, Noah, but you have to admit there is something missing.”

“Is there? Then tell me what it is.” Noah leaned forward. “Give me a chance to try to be what you need.”

“I-I can’t.” Shane shook his head. “I’m not even sure if I
know
what I need.” Shane sighed and walked around until he stood in front of Noah. “If I knew what was wrong with me, you’d be the first person I’d tell. Believe me.” He went down on his knees. “I know I’m asking a lot of you. I’m really sorry. If you could just give me a little more time to sort out what’s going on…” He reached out and placed his hand on Noah’s knee. It felt hard and unyielding. Pain wound around his heart and squeezed. Shane couldn’t lose him, not now.

“Sorry isn’t going to cut it this time.” Noah brushed Shane’s hand away. “I wish I understood you.”

“I wish I understood me too.” Shane touched Noah’s knee once more. “I still care about you, Noah. You have to believe that.”

“I’m not sure what I believe anymore.”

Shane knew the time had come. He had to open his heart and tell Noah what was going on inside of him. The thought of showing Noah such vulnerability made him ache, but he steeled his emotions and touched Noah’s hand. “It’s more than just Kitty.” He told Noah about his mother and father, about how their love disintegrated, and about his father’s broken heart and suicide. “I don’t want to follow in my father’s footsteps.”

Noah curled his fingers around Shane’s. “You won’t. You’re too strong for that.”

“I’m not as strong as you think.” Shane glanced down at their joined hands. Noah’s words weren’t very reassuring. Did he feel the emptiness like Shane did when they were together? Was he just as scared about the possibility of becoming a threesome with Kitty?

Shane raised their hands and pressed his lips against Noah’s skin. “I know I’ve asked a lot from you, and you’ve been patient.”

Noah met his gaze. “I’m still being patient.”

Shane lowered their hands. “I know. I—” He looked away from Noah’s piercing stare. “This whole thing is new to me. When I’m with you, it’s incredible, but when I’m with both you and Kitty… Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed.”

“I have. I’ve felt it too. There’s something about her.”

So he did feel it. “It’s just that everything is uncertain right now. We have no idea how she feels about us. I need to find out if her feelings for us are as strong as ours for her. I also need some assurance that all of this won’t fall apart in a month or two.” Or in a couple of days when she saw them across the boardroom table and learned they were the enemy.

“She cares for us, but then again, she doesn’t know who we really are,” Noah said.

Shane returned his gaze to Noah as his voice caught in his throat. Noah was right. Kitty didn’t know them, not really. What would her reaction be if she found out they were the ones who wanted to buy out Velvet Steel? One confession and everything could be ruined.

Panic speared Shane’s chest. “We can’t—”

Noah held up his beer between them. “I don’t want to fight about this. This isn’t about Kitty and what will and will not happen over the next week. This is about us. I was patient with you because I was confident in your feelings for me. Even when we were with other women, you still seemed to prefer me over them. With Kitty…” His voice caught, and something—hurt?—flickered over his face. “I understand your feelings for her. She’s beautiful and smart, a real gem. When we’re with her, everything seems better.”

Shane opened his mouth to agree, but Noah stopped him.

“Hear me out. I’ll agree we’re better when we’re with Kitty, but you seem almost obsessed with her. It’s not healthy. I’m beginning to wonder if I’ve been fooling myself about us. Maybe it’s Kitty you really want.”

“No.” Shane shifted closer. “Fuck, Noah, no.” He eased Noah’s legs apart and inserted himself between them. “My feelings for you haven’t changed.” He put his hands on his lover’s waist. “If anything, they’ve grown stronger since we’ve been with Kitty.”

“They have? Then you have a funny way of showing it.” Noah took another quick slug of beer.

Shane removed the bottle from his lover’s hand and put it on the side table. “I care deeply for you, Noah. You’re more than just a business partner, more than just a friend. It’s just…” How to say it? Shane took a deep breath. “Kitty seems to complete us. And…and I can’t commit to a relationship unless I know it’s going to last. I won’t end up like my father.”