Virtue & Vanity (20 page)

His eyes followed my shaky hand as I placed the hot cup back onto the table.

“We need to talk.” He was calm, but his voice wasn’t soft anymore. It was firm and authoritative.

I didn’t move or make a sound. I stiffened in anticipation because I didn’t know what to expect from him. 
Maybe he would admit that he’s doing all of this to trick me into giving him a son.
 As I trembled all over, I closed my eyes and willed myself to think about anything else except my nightmare, which was bound to come true, but the heartbreaking sadness I felt in the dream still ruled my mind. I felt his eyes on me and I shuddered when he tried to touch me. My frightened gaze met his decisive one as I desperately wanted to get inside his mind and read his thoughts. Instead, he read mine.

“I would never do that to you, Isabelle. I wouldn’t keep you away from your child,” he said in a low voice and I looked at him, confused and stunned at the same time. I opened my mouth in wonder, unsure of the words I wanted to say, but he spoke again before I even got a chance to express my turmoil.

“You were talking in your sleep. You begged me not to take away your son and swore that you would do whatever it takes if I showed you some mercy.” His voice broke and he closed his eyes. “Isabelle, I know that I hurt you badly, but I would never—” He stopped talking, like it was painful for him to finish the sentence.

I gazed at him, untrusting. I was sure it was a trick and that danger lurked right around the corner. I wouldn’t let him fool me. He explained his heartless intentions that day when I found the contract in his office.

“You said that you would get your son and I—”

“I know what I’ve said. You don’t need to remind me,” he interrupted me in a determined voice. “Those were nothing but empty threats. You have no reason to live in fear that your dream will come true. Having a baby isn’t something I will expect of you in the near future anyway.”

Liar! Liar! 
A sarcastic smile
 
escaped my lips as I looked at him incredulously. This man thought I was a fool. I was sick and tired of his lies and deceit.

“Theodore told me you courteously informed him that he can expect a grandson so please, don’t mock my intelligence with your false display of kindness.”

“There is no false display of kindness; I want to be kind to you!” he said firmly.

“No, you don’t!” My voice was shaking. “All you want to do is play your mind games. If you wanted to be kind to me, you would have given me a divorce because that is the only humane thing to do.”

He flinched, like my words had struck him, but even before he said anything, I knew that his standpoint on that matter was more than crystal clear. 
No son, no divorce.

“Is that why you were having the nightmare? Because my father told you he expected a grandson?” he asked, without commenting on my repeated demand for a divorce.

I closed my eyes while the memories of pain and humiliation returned to torture me. Sebastian observed me as I tried to keep my sanity intact. Then he sat next to me on the sofa, leaning his back on the soft pillows. Surprisingly, instead of coming closer, he moved away from me, keeping the space that was building the wall between us.

“Isabelle, my family can’t know. My father especially...” I cautiously looked towards him, wondering what he was talking about. “He can’t know I’m sparing you the responsibility of fulfilling the terms of that contract.”

For a second, I was taken aback by what he had told me, but I knew I needed to stay guarded. I couldn’t let him manipulate me.

“So that’s why you told him that he can expect a grandson? You must think I’m a complete idiot.” I laughed sarcastically, avoiding the urge to cry.

“I had to tell him what he wanted to hear because that was the only way I could protect you,” he asserted in a firm voice, looking at me like he was expecting a sign that I trusted him.

But I didn’t trust him. How could I? The only thing that preoccupied my mind was the bitter truth that I was trapped in the middle of a cruel game that was being maneuvered by rich and powerful people; people who couldn’t have cared less about my well–being. And the worst of it was that I didn’t stand a chance against them. Sebastian could have feigned his concern for me all he wanted, but I knew him better than he thought. He wouldn’t go to great lengths to protect me from harm—not when his hard-earned inheritance was at stake.

“Sooner or later they’ll turn up the heat and you’ll give them what they want. It’s what you want as well,” I said with resignation.

Suddenly he denied me the privilege of keeping his distance and he pulled me towards him, placing his hands on my shoulders.

“No! No matter what, I give you my word that I’ll be patient with you. I’ll wait. I won’t touch you until you tell me to.”

Honey talk, empty words, lies and deceit... but still, that sweet nectar coming from his lips was a poisonous cure to my broken heart
. If only it was real...

“You won’t wait forever,” I whispered, focusing my eyes on the darkness outside once again and I could see his baffled expression reflecting on the window. “I know about you and Cora.” I turned to him again. “Maybe she’s not your lover, but she’s the woman you want to be with. I know that she is the one you were supposed to marry and I’m standing in the way of your happiness. This supposed feeling of guilt you feel towards me will soon be overpowered by your love for her.” I didn’t even blink as I confronted him with the truth. Tears threatened to come out, but I didn’t divert my gaze.

He removed his hands from me and covered them over his face while taking a deep breath. When his green eyes peeked to the surface again, it was clear that mentioning Cora did something to him, and that it would have been better if I hadn’t brought up her name.

“For heaven’s sake, how many times do I have to tell you that Cora bears no significance in all of this?”

“How could she bear no significance to your decisions when you’re in love with her?” I paused, observing his attempt to fool me with his stunned expression. “I’ve seen you kiss her that night and I heard everything you said to her right here in this very room. I met her at your parent’s house tonight and everything was crystal clear to me. I mean, she suits you in every way possible. She has both style and manners. I’m sure she wouldn’t embarrass herself with the wrong choice of cutlery. She is well educated and...”

“Don’t,” he stopped me. “I’m not in love with her. She is just a friend who is going through a tough time and what you saw that night was just two friends consoling each other. That kiss was the last thing I could give her to make her feel better. It was our goodbye.” He took a long pause. “I would never hurt you because of her.”

“What does it matter if it’s because of her, your family or whatever the reason? You
will
hurt me again, Sebastian. You’re only trying to put a bandage on a deeply cut wound by denying it.”

“Isabelle...” My eyes blinked rapidly, caught in his mesmerizing stare. “I told you I don’t mean to cause anymore harm. What do I have to do to get you to believe me?”

“Nothing you say or do can change the way I feel,” I said in a detached, quiet voice, wrapping my mind into a web of disturbing thoughts. “Maybe you don’t mean to do it, but I’m afraid you’ll cause a lot more harm than you think.” My voice cracked and I bit my lower lip to stop myself from whimpering, but it didn’t help, because silent tears started streaming down my face like they would never come to an end.

“No, Isabelle!” he cursed and wiped away the evidence of my sadness. “No more pain,” he whispered, suddenly pulling me into a tight embrace.

At first I wanted to deny the solace he offered me, telling him harshly that I didn’t want him to touch me. But he sensed that I ached for comfort, and he patiently waited for me to yield to him. I needed some kind of shelter, even if it meant I had to submit to the man who had destroyed me without a shred of mercy. He wrapped his arms around me and laid my tired head on his chest. I absorbed the warmth of his muscles as his tender touch traveled across my body, leaving a soothing trail which brought the strange feeling of sudden peace to my mind. He spread light kisses over my forehead and my temple, kissing away the tears that kept falling. The calmness he had provided me with had a temporary healing effect and though I wouldn’t allow myself to believe a word he said, I melted when he whispered to me.

“Don’t be afraid of me.” He tried to reassure me, like he knew I needed something to hold onto. “I’ll give you time. All the time you need. Close your eyes and go back to sleep. It will get better, I promise. No more pain, Isabelle. I will never hurt you again.”

I gave in to the melancholy of the moment, thinking how ironic it was that it seemed he would have said anything except the words I needed to hear. The simple words I suddenly imagined him saying:
I’m sorry. Please, forgive me... 
As I drifted to sleep,
 
I realized that
 
he would never swallow his pride. He was Sebastian Everett. He didn’t believe in remorse. He would never look me in the eyes and simply admit the wrongness of his actions.

Chapter Twenty-Three

In the early morning, when the light breeze coming from the opened window invited my eyes to open in semi–darkness, I realized that I wasn’t in the patio anymore. Somehow, I’d ended up back in the bedroom. The last thing I remembered was falling asleep in Sebastian’s arms, but he wasn’t beside me anymore. I looked around for a while, slowly realizing that I was alone. His promises, kind words of reassurance and the tenderness he treated me with came back to haunt me. 
Maybe it had all been a dream?
 Trying to shed some light onto the gap in my memory, I got up and walked to the window. It was still early and the sun wasn’t up yet, so I could let my thoughts sink into the soothing tranquility brought about by the birth of a new day. I was tired, but I couldn’t sleep anymore and sudden desire filled my heart as my eyes fell on the drawer I hadn’t opened in a long time. My lips twisted in a smile when I pulled it out and looked at the notebook with my unfinished story. After a long time, I felt like I wanted to write again, even though I wasn’t sure how the story would progress. All I knew was that I needed some kind of distraction from everything that had happened. I had to gather my thoughts and try to forget about Sebastian’s comforting words. Deep down, I knew I had to find a way to keep my distance and stay guarded because trusting him was extremely dangerous.

I picked up a pen and the notebook, put on some clothes and decided to go out and enjoy the sunrise. Absolute silence ruled the house and I moved around as quietly as I could, trying not to make a sound. When I got to the patio, I was welcomed by the unexpected sight of Sebastian sleeping peacefully on the sofa. My gaze lingered on him for a short while and I couldn’t help but think that he looked so innocent, so harmless like he wouldn’t hurt a fly. The famous saying that one shouldn’t judge a book by its cover sprang to my mind. The beautiful features of his face caught my attention and I observed him studiously. He looked like the prince from a fairytale and even the charming heroes from my imagination weren’t as handsome as the man in front of me. His beauty was surreal, but then again, so was the cruelness of his heart.

His body moved on the sofa, causing me to divert my gaze from him and focus on the glass coffee table instead. The cup of chamomile tea he had made for me was still there, a reminder that none of it had been a dream
.
 He had actually held me in his arms, whispering reassurances and sweet nothings to me. He had actually made me question my sanity, pulling me way deeper than I was willing to go; asking much more than I was able to give.

The squeaky sound of the leather, caused by his twisting and turning, caught my attention and my eyes returned to him. As the sun started rising up, illuminating his face, I couldn’t believe that someone could be so deceivingly beautiful on the outside, yet so frighteningly dangerous on the inside.

Not wanting to wake him up, I walked on my toes and sneaked out into the garden, carefully closing the door behind me. The fresh air of the summer morning and the warm feeling of sun on my skin, made me feel at ease as I walked up to the swing chair. Instead of worrying my mind with troubling thoughts, I felt humbled and small before the power of the world that surrounded me, and it encouraged me to open my notebook and spread the inspiring words over its pages. I made my wounded heroine fight for herself and I gave her hope. Just like the character from my story, I had decided—even if it was only temporary—to return to the moment when I was a hopeless dreamer who believed in happy endings. I kept writing for a long time and I had no idea how late it was or if someone was looking for me. Strangely, I didn’t care. I simply wanted to enjoy the moments of peace and find pleasure in doing what I loved to do. I was so focused on the progressive storyline I was creating, that I didn’t pay any attention to my surroundings. 

Suddenly, I heard a strange noise and my first thought was that Sebastian came to look for me, but when I looked around there was nothing there; only the sound of the summer breeze that flew through the numerous branches of the trees. Convinced that I must have imagined it, I confidently returned to my writing. And there it was again; that unusual sound that kept coming from somewhere behind me, but it wasn’t the trees, nor the summer breeze. I turned around to determine the source of the noise, but again, there was nothing.

“You can pretend that you don’t see me, but I’m right here, Mrs. Gold digger!” A familiar voice startled me and I broke out in a cold sweat when I connected that voice to a face.

With reluctance, I looked up and was astonished by what I saw. Teresa stood right in front of me, but she was a shadow of her former self. In the few weeks since she had been fired, she’d started resembling an apparition. Her skin was pale and her cheeks had sunk in so much that her cheekbones showed through her skin. When I looked at her thin waist, I gulped from the shock. It was obvious that she probably hadn’t eaten for days.

“Teresa,” I whispered.

Her body was shaking and she looked distressed. She glared at me with a hostile expression on her face and I feared she wasn’t in her right mind. I wondered why she had returned and how she managed to get past the security gate.

“What are you looking at?” she yelled at me, her voice giving away how unstable she was.

“Nothing, I... I was just wondering if you were alright. You look like you might need some rest.” I spoke in a calm voice, but I was shaken to my core

“What would I rest from? I don’t work anymore, remember?” she spoke in an angry tone.

“I’m sorry about that, Teresa. I swear I didn’t mean to get you fired. I tried to talk to Sebastian, but he—”

“He doesn’t love you, you know. He will never love you. But that doesn’t concern you at all, doesn’t it? Because all you want is his money. You mean nothing to him. Nothing!” She spat out her insults and laughed wickedly.

Despite the fact that I knew she wasn’t in her right mind, her words hit me right where it hurt because she made an excellent point. There wasn’t even a shred of love between Sebastian and me, and the soil it could have grown on had been destroyed right at the beginning of our marriage. 

“Teresa, please,” I spoke softly. “I think you should leave.” I tried to reason with her.

“I’m not going anywhere. Not until you pay for what you’ve done to me!” She looked at me with her dark eyes.

“I didn’t mean to do anything to you. I told you I was sorry.” My voice wasn’t calm anymore.

She didn’t reply. Her hand slid in her pocket and she pulled out a knife with a long sharp blade. My eyes widened in horror. She had gone completely mad and I was trapped in the most remote part of the garden where no one would see me or hear my screams. I got up and started moving away from her, because I had no idea what she would do.

“Sorry doesn’t cut it. 
You
 got me fired. 
You 
took everything away from me and now I’m going to teach you a lesson and show you how much it hurts!” she said enraged, pointing the knife at me.

I didn’t know what to do. Fighting her wasn’t an option and I didn’t dare to run because I feared she would catch up with me and stab me in the back. I lifted up my hands in a pathetic attempt to defend myself against her attack.

“Teresa, please. You don’t have to do this. If you hurt me, they will know you were the one who did it. You will go to jail for a long time.” I fought to get her out of the delirium she was trapped in.

“Do you honestly think I care about that?” She laughed, showing me the enjoyment of terrorizing me overpowered her common sense.

“Please, just leave now. I won’t tell anybody. I p-promise.” My voice shook and I was fully prepared to fight her.

My heart pounded and terror twisted my stomach as I observed the sharp blade. She looked at me like I was her prey. Like she wanted to destroy me. Knowing she would swing that knife at me in a matter of moments, I decided to take my chances and started running away from her. She seemed to be all too pleased that I gave her a chance to chase me, and though I tried to run as fast as I could, her rage enabled her to catch me. A frightening scene straight out of a horror movie played out right in front of me as she sat on my stomach trying to aim the knife straight towards my heart. I firmly grabbed her hand and the only thing I could think about was that I couldn’t let go of it no matter what. I used all of my strength to finally get her off of me and I started running. She followed immediately and once again she had almost caught up with me, but in the last moment she slipped on the wet grass and fell to the ground. This was my one and only chance to escape from her. My whole body shook as I ran and screamed for help from the top of my lungs.

Just as the last traces of my energy were about to give way, I saw him in the distance and a strange feeling of safety streamed over my weak body, like he was my hero, and not a villain who had shattered my heart. For the first time ever, I was thrilled to see Sebastian and I ran straight towards him, almost passing out into his arms while seeking his protection.

“Easy, easy,” he whispered and held me by the shoulders to stop me from falling to the ground.

With surprising caution, he wrapped his arms around me and gazed at me confused, when he didn’t have to pull me into his embrace. For the first time, I was the one who came closer, craving his solace and protection. He seemed to be stunned by my reaction to him, but then again, so was I. 

“Isabelle?” He tilted up my chin and looked at me in confusion. “What’s wrong? Why were you screaming?” He seemed worried, but I was still so shocked by my near death experience that I couldn’t say a word. I just looked at him, too frightened to speak. “Isabelle!” He shook me to startle me from my trance. Then his eyes narrowed as he saw something that took him by surprise. “What the...” I heard him say in a rough voice and I turned around and noticed Teresa was limping towards us. The knife was still in her hand.

“Isabelle, look at me!” His assertive voice caught my attention and I gaped at him in wonder and fright. “You have to calm down. I won’t let anything happen to you. Breathe!” His eyes kept turning towards Teresa who was getting closer and closer and I could tell he was getting upset even though he tried to keep the impression of patience. His eyes widened while he spoke to me, still trying to get me to react. “Listen to me. You’ll be fine. Go inside and call the police. No matter what,
don’t
come back here. Do you understand?”

As he gazed at me expectantly, I could feel the pressure that rushed through him and the moment I nodded, he let go of me and started running towards Teresa. I wanted to run as well, but I was still paralyzed from fear and I needed a few seconds to calm down. Completely helpless, I watched as he approached her and tried to get her to give him the knife. 

“Drop the knife!” I heard him yell at her authoritatively, but she wasn’t intimidated by him.

She started crying and I heard her whisper something to him, but I couldn’t understand what. Sebastian dismissed whatever she told him, called her crazy and grabbed her hand, ordering her once again to drop the knife. In a rush of adrenaline, I finally gained enough strength and ran towards the house.

“Anne! Anne!” I yelled her name when I noticed she was standing by the entrance.

“Isabelle, what happened? Why are you yelling?” She asked in surprise, but then lowered her voice. “Sebastian is working from home today. You should keep it down.” Apparently, I wasn’t the only person in that house who feared him.

“Anne, T-Teresa...” I tried to fight my panic and get the words out. “Teresa attack... attacked me with a knife.”

“What? Are you alright?” Her face went pale and she started breathing nervously. “We have to tell Sebastian.” 

“No, Sebastian is with her in the garden. We have to call the police.”

Anne had already started walking, but stopped when she realized I still hadn’t told her everything.

She was beside herself, looking around for a few seconds until she managed to calm down and look at me again. “Isabelle, go upstairs. It’s not safe for you to be here.”

“But, I-I need to c-call...” I let out a gasp because it was getting harder and harder for me to speak.

“I’ll call the police. You are in no state to talk to anybody.” Anne decided as she hurried to the phone and when she saw that I was still frozen in the same spot, she did what she had never done before. “Go!” She raised her voice at me and I finally did as I was told. 

***

I went back to the room, feeling both exhausted and terrified after everything I went through that day. The first thing I did was walk to the window. Filled with anxiety, I waited to see what would happen. With everything in me, I feared that the police wouldn’t arrive in time. The worry was eating me alive, but to my absolute relief, their car pulled up in the driveway shortly after. Two policemen ran towards the house and I remained waiting next to the window, but for so many long minutes nothing happened. Then, just as I was getting ready to dismiss Anne’s warning and go back downstairs, I saw the police officers taking Teresa towards the car. Sebastian walked behind them and his rage was apparent as he threw insults at her. Teresa turned around and I could see she was handcuffed. Not a single word crossed her lips as she gazed at him with a sad, broken expression on her face. There were tears in her eyes and I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. Still, her actions were horrific and she deserved to be punished for them. I watched as the police car sped off out of the driveway, but I wasn’t rewarded with the feeling of relief. If anything, when the police left and Sebastian looked towards the window where I was standing, the suffocating feeling of worry rushed right back to me as our eyes met, because I had no idea what he was thinking or how he felt after what happened in the garden.