When Parents Text: So Much Said...So Little Understood (11 page)

BOOK: When Parents Text: So Much Said...So Little Understood
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Squirts

ME
: How was your day?

MOM
: Kinda crazy…Amber woke up early (with the squirts) then there was a bomb threat at school so I was very late for work but other than that it was a nice day.

 

Cat Paw

DAD
: Paw says Happy Wednesday. Wheres my tuna.

 
DREAMS
 

Why do people love to talk about their dreams?

Mass Text

MOM
: Hi. I had a really weird dream. So let me ask you a weird question. Are any of you pregnant?

 

Wildest Dreams

MOM
: Just saying in your wildest dreams what color kitchen aid mixer would you like?

MOM
: False alarm. sorry. got excited at a macy’s sale. please forgive.

 

Small Octopus

MOM
: On my way, love you and great to see you, your room, your suitemates, your studio, and to do all the fun things! I must be feeling guilty about the cats because last night I dreamt that I had a (small) octopus and a horse that I had forgotten to feed. I really DID have a horse once, but I never had an octopus.

 

Happy Pride Month

ME
: I had a dream last night you thought I was a lesbian haha!

MOM
: It wasn’t a dream

 

Battle

ME
: I had a dream last night that we were dance battling. I can’t remember but I think we tied.

DAD
: Well, it was obviously a dream because I definitely would win the poppin and the lockin.

 
 

NO TATTOOS

ME
: I had a dream last night that I got a tattoo. I started crying and freaking out in the dream because I knew you guys would be so angry. Luckily it washed off!

DAD
: DON’T EVEN GET A DREAM TATOO!!!

 

Interpretations

MOM
: I had a dream about rescuing a kitten last nite which I believe reflects my desire to be a grandmother someday

 

Someday

MOM
: Someday i want to hold a penguin and rub its belly. It looks so soft.

 
 

Waist Deep

ME
: We’ll be in RI around 4:30 tomorrow

MOM
: I had a dream last night that you were in a cave in waist deep water smoking pot.....

 

Haircut

MOM
: I had a dream you got a dyke haircut.

 

Marshmallow Dreams

DAD
: So I had a dream last night that I ate a huge marshmellow, and when I woke up my pillow was gone.

ME
: Where was your pillow?

DAD
: I don’t know, I cant find it.

 
PIX
 

With the discontinuation of Kodachrome, our photographic dialogue is becoming more immediate, and mobile cameras have added a new texture to the way cell phone users communicate—”Aren’t you jealous of where I am right now?” “Are these the socks you asked for?” “Look at this fabulous sandwich I am about to consume.”

The modern postcard—picture messaging—is both versatile and humorous. When parents send picture messages, the possibilities are truly unbelievable, and the photo submissions that we have been saving for this print edition of
When Parents Text
have been some of the funniest to date.

Twenty-First-Century Parenting

MOM
: I want a picture of u at her house. either outside w house showing or w her mom at home so i know ur there

 

Only in America

 

DAD
: Only 2000

 

Birthday Is a Wash

 

DAD
: happy birthday I hope you like what we got us for your birthday!

ME
: what..........

 

Condom Cat

 

MOM
: The cat wants to know why she found condoms in your laundry.

 

Gun Show

 

DAD
: Funny face made from a white tail deer’s butt LOL. At the gun show today.

 

My Naner

 

DAD
: Sweetie sorry the visit was so short, I feel sad about that. I miss you.

DAD
: this was sent from my new iphone by the way! Not my brick phone….

ME
: Picture msg me then. If its not HD then you are lying. haha! love you!

DAD
: I will as soon as I figure out how to do that???

 

Number One

 

DAD
: Youre the number1 I love you dad

 

Lost

ME
: We’re lost...can you send directions?

MOM
: Sure.

(ten minutes later)

MOM
: here is map

 

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