When We Collide (19 page)

“Blake—” I reached out to stop him.

Blake shoved me and pointed in my face.

“Don’t you dare try to make excuses for this…I…ugh…”
Blake turned and threw his beer bottle across the yard, his muscles
rigid and held in restraint as he stormed toward the house.

Olivia cried and ran to her mother, climbing onto
her lap. Grace covered Olivia’s ear and held her head against her
chest.

“Calm down, Blake,” Grace demanded beneath her
breath, “you’re scaring the girls.”

Blake said nothing as he yanked the screen door
open. It clattered shut behind him.

I wanted to scream. Fisting my hands at the sides of
my head, I stole another glance behind me, up the empty street, to
the place where Maggie had just stood.

Fuck.

I wrenched a hand through my hair.

“What’d you think was going to happen, coming back
here?” Grace’s voice was laced with bitterness from where she
hissed at me on the porch swing. “Did you think enough time had
passed that nobody was going to notice?”

My heart faltered, a rush of fear and nerves and
anger slicking like ice just under my skin. “What?” I asked. I
turned around and walked slowly toward Grace with my head cocked to
the side. “What did you just say?”

She narrowed her eyes at me.

“You knew?” I half accused, half begged.

She huffed and hugged her daughter closer. “I knew
the second I saw that baby that he was yours. I thought better of
you, Will.” Her forehead creased as she glared down at me. “I
thought maybe…
just maybe
…somebody would finally love that
girl. And you treated her like a piece of trash, just like everyone
else. Do you know what it’s like to have to keep a secret like that
from your husband because you know it’s going to break his heart?
Blake’s always thought the best of you…all that time…always making
excuses for you, telling your mom that you needed time to find
yourself. Do you know what it feels like to sit there and know the
truth, that really his little brother is just a selfish jerk?”

I crammed the heels of my hands into my eyes then
dropped them like a brick. “I didn’t know,” I yelled as I moved
across the yard.

She looked down and slowly shook her head.
“Don’t…”

I took the three steps up to the porch, trying to
control the anger Grace had just evoked. No. It wasn’t her fault.
But if she’d just said
one
goddamned word in six years. I
roughed a hand over my face, knowing I looked like a madman because
I sure as hell felt like one. “I didn’t know, Grace…I swear to you,
I didn’t know.”

Grace tilted her head up, her face a war of
disbelief and confusion. Her gaze flashed up the street, back to
me.

“Oh God.” Her brow twisted as realization flushed
her face. “I thought...why do you think I’ve been so angry with you
all this time? I figured she’d told you that night you’d just up
and left. Will—”

I didn’t know how to deal with Grace, with what
she’d said, with what she’d known. I shook my head, opened the
front door, and left her sitting there.

Inside, Blake was across the room with his head
down. His hands were on his hips as he paced with his back to
me.

I raked the back of my hand over my mouth. Blake’s
shoulders tensed with my presence, his breaths audible in the
otherwise silent room.

“Blake.”

“You need to get out of my house.” When he turned to
look at me, every trace of tolerance he had for me was gone. “I
don’t want you anywhere near my family.”

I took a step forward. “I—”

“I’m not playing around, Will.” Blake took a step
back and put his hands up. “You are a coward, and I’m
just…
done
.” His tone took on an edge of sadness. “I spent so
much time defending you and the decisions you made. I believed in
you, Will. But this...leaving her like that...it’s
unforgiveable.”

I turned away and faced the wall. I struggled to
find the words to speak. Maggie had always been a secret, a secret
she’d asked me to keep, and I had no idea how to explain it
now.

“I’ve loved her since that first night…” I gathered
enough courage to look over at my brother.

He stared back at me. His eyes were narrowed in
doubt, though the aggression seemed to have faded from his
posture.

“I never stopped.”

A rush of relief covered me when I admitted it
aloud. It somehow made it real. Made Maggie real. What we had real.
It also somehow made them real—the dreams. A tremor skittered over
my flesh. I swallowed.

“She destroyed me, Blake. I left because I couldn’t
stand to come back and see her with him.”

William ~ September, Six Years Earlier

Grace climbed into her spot between Blake and me.
What was probably the biggest smile I had ever seen looked to be
permanently etched on her face.

“Hey, Will,” she said as she put on her seatbelt.
She held out her left hand that boasted the huge rock in front of
her. As the sun melted from the sky, Grace rotated her hand through
its rays, the diamond glimmering and shedding its promise across
the cab of Blake’s truck. “It’s gorgeous, isn’t it?” she asked in
an awed, appreciative voice, never turning from it.

Blake had proposed the night before.

“Eh…it’s okay,” I teased her, laughing when Grace
slugged me in the arm. “All right…all right.” I held up both hands
in surrender.

“Don’t get on my bad side, Will.” She grinned. “You
know, I’m family now.” The playfulness drained from her voice as
soon as she said the word, as if it were sacred.

My face relaxed into a knowing smile. “It’s really
beautiful, Grace…really. I’m happy for you.”

Blake grinned at us both as he turned and hit the
long, desolate stretch of road.

Tonight we were celebrating.

Twenty-minutes later, we pulled into the secluded
field. In the center, a fire already blazed in welcome.

Grace and Blake were met with catcalls and
congratulations when they stepped from the truck, their hands
clasped and swinging between them as they walked toward their group
of friends. Blake kept glancing down at her. Love poured from him
every time he did.

I trailed behind, my hands in my pockets as I
internally scolded myself for being such a self-centered prick,
continually wishing I could have the same thing.

Things with Maggie had gotten so fucking
complicated.

For the last two months, we’d lived in our own
little world of seclusion, teetering somewhere between ecstasy and
agony. Our relationship was both the best thing I’d ever
experienced and complete torture all at the same time.

Friends.

No matter what we labeled ourselves, we were far
more than friends. Friends didn’t lie for hours wrapped in each
other’s arms, her heart thundering beneath my hands, her breaths
short and ragged as I’d run my nose along the sweetness of her skin
and press my lips to her jaw. Friends didn’t have that need in the
pit of their stomachs, the one that had me twisted up, wishing I
could somehow be shaken out.

I wanted her so badly that some nights I thought I
might die. Every fantasy I’d ever had developed into making love to
Maggie. Every face was hers, every touch, her hand. So many times
I’d been tempted to push her past the safe-zone we’d created, this
distorted, intimate relationship we had over our clothes.

But I knew she needed that space. She’d confided in
me—trusted me—and I wasn’t going to be the asshole who disrespected
it.

What made my need even harder to ignore was the fact
that what I felt for Maggie was far greater than just a physical
ache. I loved talking to her, loved that she opened up and shared
herself with me, loved how kind she was, loved…everything about
her.

I couldn’t help but smile now, thinking about it.
Nothing was better than seeing Maggie smile. When we’d talk, she
would get this wistful expression on her face, her lips parting as
that
smile played at the edges of her mouth while she’d
stare up at me.

She’d get lost in my words while I’d get lost in
those eyes.

But as close as we were, there was still a huge
barrier separating us. Troy was the visible obstacle, but I knew it
went so much deeper than that.

Maggie was scared.

Scared of everything.

It was just easier for her to stay with Troy than to
risk losing something that meant something to her.

I glanced at my brother and Grace who chatted with
their closest friends gathered there, Grace showing off her ring,
everyone sharing in their joy.

I was here to celebrate them, so I tried to push
aside my inner turmoil.

But it was no use. That yearning I felt whenever she
wasn’t near, the worry that haunted me every time she was out of my
sight, wouldn’t let go. The need to protect her was acute.

Almost painful.

Each night I trailed behind her, unseen, unknown to
everyone but her. From a distance, I would walk her back to the
Hell she knew as home. The second she disappeared from view and
vanished into the front door of the shitty house she lived in, fear
would grip me. I hated not being there to protect her.

There was no escaping that fear now as I sat down on
the ground and leaned against the old tree trunk.

“A toast to the happy couple,” Justin, one of
Blake’s oldest friends and now business partner, said as he raised
his beer.

Everyone lifted their bottles.

“May the two of you have the best of lives...and
never grow...bored.” Justin lifted a suggestive brow, and Grace
turned red and buried her face in Blake’s neck before she peeked
back out at us.

“That, my friend, will never happen,” Blake assured
him as he looked down at Grace who was clutching his shirt,
grinning up at him. He kissed her hard, in a way that told all of
his jeering friends to go to Hell.

I laughed and toasted with my near-empty bottle.
“Here! Here!”

Blake tipped the head of his bottle in my direction
without coming up for a breath.

In the distance, a truck engine whirred and drew
near, tearing my attention from my brother and future
sister-in-law. It spun a path of anxiety through my muscles.

No one should have mentioned this gathering to
anyone else but this small group, but there was no mistaking what I
heard. Over the summer, I’d memorized the sound of Troy’s truck.
Every time Troy would barrel up to wherever I happened to be and I
had to prepare myself to sit and watch Maggie with him, the
distinct hum of that engine had been etched deeper and deeper in
the recesses of my brain. It was almost Pavlovian, the instant
anxiety, the hatred that surged and constricted my lungs.

I wanted her here, but not like this.

Dropping my head, I tugged and tore at the lone tuft
of grass growing near the fire pit. I fought the urge to look up
when I heard her soft footsteps out of sync with Troy’s.

Shit
.

I jerked my head and rubbed my eyes with the back of
my hands, trying to get myself under control, knowing I had to play
it cool or one of these days I was going to give us away. I just
didn’t know how much longer I could take this before I snapped.

And somehow I knew when I did, I was going to lose
her.

I pretended I couldn’t sense the smirk on Troy’s
face when he looked in my direction as they came up to the group.
It was like he knew exactly how much it hurt me to see her with him
and was happy to rub it in. He’d seen the way I looked at her. I
wondered what he’d think if he knew she was sneaking out at night
to see me rather than him.

From across the fire, I felt her, could sense the
way her body settled onto the dirt floor. This time I couldn’t stop
myself from looking up and searching for the solace I found in
those sweet brown eyes.

Through the writhing flames, I met her gaze.

Did she see how this affected me? Did she understand
that every second she wasn’t mine was torture?

Her eyes drifted closed as her head lolled to the
side. The motion was soft and laden with affection.

I closed my eyes and coaxed myself down from the
instinct to rip the possessive arm Troy had wrapped around Maggie’s
chest clean from his body.

Instead, I pictured her in our spot, snuggled
against my side where she was safe and protected. I imagined the
smile that she reserved for me and the way her fingertips felt as
she ran them down my face and across my lips.

Pictured her where I was sure she was imagining we
were now.

I sensed the shift, the rupture in our peace.

“Knock it off.” It came out hushed, meant for no one
but Troy, but with the sound of Maggie’s voice, I yanked my head up
and found them in a position so similar to the one they’d been in
the first night I’d seen her. Troy’s mouth was at her neck, kissing
the same spot I had just imagined my mouth to be—the same spot
where my mouth had been last night.

Possessiveness turned my stomach, and as desperate
as I was not to witness this, I couldn’t tear my attention
away.

Troy laughed against her skin and grabbed her breast
over her shirt. “C’mon, Maggie...why do you always have to be like
that?”

Hatred burned hotter than the fire that thrashed
between us, savage flames that swept through my blood.

No. This I couldn’t handle. I dug my nails into my
palms and tried to sit still.

Maggie threw Troy’s hand off and stood, stumbling
away from the group. She hugged herself across her middle, her head
hung.

I sat in chaos, my mind and spirit screaming that I
defend her while everyone else carried on as if nothing had
happened. A lover’s spat paid no mind.

Troy got to his feet, standing with his fists balled
at his sides, glaring at Maggie across the space where she faced
away from the fire not more than twenty feet away.

“Stay away from her,” I said too low for anyone else
to hear when Troy began to creep up behind her.