Why Me? (18 page)

Please rewrite and send the application to me or call me direct.

Thanks once more and remain blessed.

Best regards,

Mr. Brook Tafawa

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From: Bob Servant

To: Mr Brook Tafawa

Subject: Trust

Trust

It is important to have pals that you trust

This is really a ‘must'

Mr Brook says he'll make me money

But is he just being funny?

I hope he's a man I can trust

And that he likes to eat mustard.

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From: Mr Brook Tafawa

To: Bob Servant

Subject: RE: Trust

Dear sir,

Thank you for your message. Now i understand your really point and i am happy to have you as my friend and my business partner. sir, my main problem now is to recover my fund from the bank were i deposited it as an escrow account so call the number
or fill in the application and send it back

Please sir, i really appreciate your understanding on this matter. please i will like it so much if you will assit me to recover this fund and i promise you that you never regret knowing someone like me. Thank you and May God Bless you. I will be looking for your response.

Best Regards,

Mr. Brook Tafawa

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From: Bob Servant

To: Mr Brook Tafawa

Subject: Mr Brook

Mr Brook

Mr Brook is very naughty

Someone needs to spank his botty

I sent a poem just for his eyes

But he didn't say ‘thanks guys!'

Why are you being like that?

Do you eat battery

farmed chickens?

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From: Mr Brook Tafawa

To: Bob Servant

Subject: I like the poems

Dear sir,

Please dont misunderstanding me, i really appreciate your poems, they are very nice one, i really appreciate everything you are doing about the poem. I have read them again and they are good and yes I like mustard and chicken also even together! i myself like poem so much when i was a kid, my grandmother use to tell us a poem story concerning tortoise and how intelligent it is.

Please sir, don't get angry at me ok, i really appreciate your poem so that is why i told you that it will really help us if we get this fund so that your poem company will be a large one. Please try to understand my own feelings and help me out to recover this fund.

Thank you and May God Bless you.

Await your response.

Regards,

Mr. Brook Tafawa.

From: Bob Servant

To: Mr Brook Tafawa

Subject: You've Inspired Me

a play by Bob Servant

SCENE ONE

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From: Mr Brook Tafawa

To: Bob Servant

Subject: Wonderful

Bob,

I do not know what to say that is one of most amazing things i have seen in my time. It would be a fantastic success on a play or on the television. bob you have a great talent one that does not come often to people and this is why you deserve to take this money from my ESCROW account now. send the form and i am telling everyone here about your talent so you will get very famous now for sure.

Sir, thank you again for understanding my feelings, so right now i will like you to filled the application form first and get back to me so that we will proceed from there to get the fund from the bank. i will like us to share the fund 50/50 so please kindly let know what you think.

Mr Brook Tafawa

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From: Bob Servant

To: Mr Brook Tafawa

Subject: 50/50

50/50

Mr Brook says it's 50/50

He is being a little thrifty

I should get a little more

Because I am doing the hardest chore

Mr Brook makes me glad to be alive

Shall we say 55/45?

I'm going to turn my telly off

Because the newsreader looks like Dino Zoff
³⁶

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From: Mr Brook Tafawa

To: Bob Servant

Subject: Good poem again

Dear sir,

Thank you again. sir, no problem i have accepted the 55/45 split. i will take 45% and you will take 55%. Please sir, let us proceed on this transaction, it will only take 72 hours and our fund will be in your bank account depending on our seriousness. Sir, i have attached the application form again, please kindly fill the application form and get back to me. Thank you and May God bless you.

I will be looking forward to received the filled application form from you.

Best Regards,

Mr. Brook Tafawa

----------------

From: Bob Servant

To: Mr Brook Tafawa

Subject: Friends

Friends

Mr Brook is now my friend

He does not drive me round the bend

I think we will do business now

I will wait for him to tell me how

The only thing I still chase

Is the chance to see his face?

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From: Mr Brook Tafawa

To: Bob Servant

Subject: Photo

Dear Sir,

Thank you very much for your understanding. Sir, you must win an award on poem because i can see that you are very special poem writer and I appreciate you to be my good friend and business partner. Sir, i promise you that i will make sure you go to the highest level on your poem as soon as we have our fund in your bank account, i will suppose your poem writer to the biggest level in life.

I am not sure if you are properly reading my mails bob read them again and see the instruction. For meantime yes of course here is a photo me me working hard in the office with my boss for my clients and for you bob.

Await your swift respond.

Best Regards,

Mr Brook Tafawa

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From: Bob Servant

To: Mr Brook Tafawa

Subject: Ankles

Ankles

Mr Brook has done the deal

Now we know that this is real

The only thing that still rankles

Is that I have not seen his ankles

‘Oh but I have not seen those of you'

But Mr Brook you have too!

Here they are all in all their glory

Are they looking hunky-dory?

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From: Mr Brook Tafawa

To: Bob Servant

Subject: Enough of poems now

Bob i like your poetry but please just stop it for now and talk proper then go back to poetry yes this is fine not problem but for a while talk properly plese

I will not send photo of ankles i do not think this is needed

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From: Bob Servant

To: Mr Brook Tafawa

Subject: Shy?

Shy

Mr Brook is very shy

He will not say the reason why

Has his ankle got a tattoo

Of a woman he once knew?

Or is there an awful rash?

Or has he sold his ankles for fast cash?

I like it when a plane takes off

The engine sounds like Dino Zoff.

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From: Mr Brook Tafawa

To: Bob Servant

Subject: Not point

I will not send you any photos and not of this because what is the point? I think you are making fun if that is right then you wasted all this time of mine for no reward and you should be ashamed

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From: Bob Servant

To: Mr Brook Tafawa

Subject: Angry

Angry

Mr Brook is really mad

Now he thinks that I am bad

I don't think I'll see him again

He is no longer my good friend

I wish him luck and hold him dear

In his online criminal career.

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NO REPLY

36
Zoff, Dino (1942–) Italian former goalkeeper and national team manager. Bob supplied me once with a batch of his poems. I would say around a third ended with some variation on this theme, i.e ‘I told the bus driver I had to get off, because we'd just driven past Dino Zoff' and ‘I took my jumper off, because I'd sold it to Dino Zoff'. When I asked Bob about this apparent fixation he said that ‘Every poet has a gimmick and Dino Zoff is mine.' As is often the case with Bob, there was not a single worthwhile reason for me to continue the conversation.

From: James Joseph

To: Bob Servant

Subject: Good Day

Dear Sir,

Good day to you. I got your letter forwarded to me, which you received from my in law Dr Bakayoko Ahmed who is currently at Spain on a business trip. I hope you are the rightful person because Dr Bakayoko Ahmed, informed me concerning you and the $1,5m. OK I need your full names and contact address with your telephone number. I shall then arrange payment of the money $1,5m to you. Try and get back to me with this information as quick as possible. I am still in the offi ce.