You Know You Love Me (14 page)

Dear Coop, If youre the type of guy who has to ask, then probably not. S may be a ho, but
she has excellent taste. GG Sightings Just one: N at the burrito place on Lexington,
chatting up the cute girl behind the counter. She gave him extra guacamole for free. Yeah,
I bet she did.

You know you love me,

Dan, Jenny whispered, poking at her brothers chest. Wake up. Dan flung his hand over his
eyes and kicked at his sheets. Go away. Its Saturday, he mumbled. Please get up, Jenny
whined. She sat down on the bed, poking him repeatedly until he removed his arm to glare
at her.

Whats your problem? Dan said. Leave me alone. No, Jenny insisted. We have to go shopping.
Right, Dan said. He rolled over, turning his head toward the wall. Please, Dan. I have to
get a dress for the party on Friday and you have to help me. Dad gave me his credit card.
He said you could get a tux, too. Jenny giggled. Since were turning out to be the type of
spoiled rotten kids that will need tuxes and dresses and all that crap. Dan rolled over.
Im not going to that party, he said. Shut up. Yes you are. Youre going and youre going to
meet Serena and dance with her. Ill introduce you. Shes totally cool, Jenny burbled
happily. No, Dan said stubbornly. Well, you can at least help me pick out a dress, Jenny
pouted. Because Im going. And I want to look nice. Cant Dad go with you? Dan asked. Yeah,
right. I said I wanted to look nice, Jenny scoffed. You know what Dad told me? He said, Go
to Sears, its the proletarian department store. Whatever that means. I dont even know
where Sears is, if it even exists anymore. Anyway, I want to go to Barneys. I cant believe
Ive never even been there. I bet people like Serena van der Woodsen and Blair Waldorf go
there, like, every day. Dan sat up and yawned loudly. Jenny was all dressed and ready to
go, with her curly hair pulled back into a ponytail. She even had her jacket and shoes on.
She looked so cute and eager, it was kind of hard to say no. Youre such a pain in my ass,
Dan said, standing up and stumbling toward the bathroom. You know you love me, Jenny
called after him.

As far as Dan was concerned, Barneys was full of assholes, down to the dude who opened the
door for him, smiling in the cheesiest way possible. But Jenny loved it, and even though
she had never been there, she seemed to know everything about the place. She knew not to
bother with the lower floors, which were full of designer clothes she could never afford,
and headed straight to the top floor Co-op. And when the elevator doors rolled open, she
felt like she had died and gone to heaven. There were so many beautiful dresses hanging on
the racks it made her salivate to look at them. She wanted to try them all on, but of
course she couldnt.

When youre a 34D, youre kind of limited. And you definitely need help. Dan, will you go
ask that woman to help me find this in my size, Jenny whispered, fingering a purple velvet
empire-waist sheath with

beaded straps. She pulled out the price tag. Six hundred bucks. Jesus Christ! Dan said,
looking at the price over her shoulder. No way. Im just trying it on for fun, Jenny
insisted. I wont buy it. She held the dress up to herself. The bodice would barely cover
her nipples. Jenny sighed and put the dress back on the rack. Would you please ask that
lady if shell help me? she repeated. Why cant you ask? Dan said. He shoved his hands in
his corduroys and leaned against a wooden hat rack. Please? Jenny said. Fine. Dan strode
over to a haggard looking woman with frosted blond hair. She looked like shed been working
in department stores her entire life, only taking one vacation a year in Atlantic City,
New Jersey. Dan imagined her chain-smoking Virginia Slims down on the boardwalk, worrying
about how the girls back at the store were managing without her. Can I help you, young
man? the woman asked him. Her name tag said Maureen. Dan smiled. Hello. Do you think you
could help my sister find a nice dress? Shes over there. He pointed at Jenny, who was
studying the price tag of a red silk wraparound with ruffles on the sleeves. Jenny had
taken off her jacket and was wearing a white T- shirt. Dan could not deny it. Her boobs
were really huge. Yes, of course, Maureen said, striding purposefully toward Jenny. Dan
stayed where he was, glancing around the room and feeling completely out of place. Behind
him, he heard a familiar voice. I look like a nun, Mom, I swear. Its just completely
wrong. Oh, Serena, another voice said. I think its darling. What if you just unbutton the
collar a bit. There. See? Its very Jackie O. Dan spun around. A tall, middle-aged woman
with Serenas coloring was standing half in, half out of a curtained dressing room. The
curtain was slightly parted, and Dan could just see a bit of Serenas hair, her collarbone,
her bare feet, the toenails painted dark red. His cheeks burned, and he bolted for the
elevator. Hey Dan, wherere you going? Jenny called over to him. Her arms were already
piled high with dresses, and Maureen was flicking efficiently through the racks, while
giving her all sorts of good advice about support bras and the latest figure-enhancing
underwear. Jenny had never been happier. Gonna check out the mens stuff, Dan mumbled,
glancing nervously toward the side of the room where hed spotted Serena. Okay, Jenny said
gaily. Ill meet you down there in forty-five minutes. And if I need your help, Ill call
you on your cell.

Dan nodded and leapt onto the elevator as soon as it opened. Down in the mens department,
he ambled over to a counter and spritzed his hands with Gucci cologne, wrinkling his nose
at the strong, Italian, male scent. He looked around the intimidating, woody room for a
bathroom where he could wash it off. Instead, he found a mannequin in full evening dress
and beside it, a rack full of tuxes. Dan fingered the rich material of the jackets and
looked at the labels. Hugo Boss, Calvin Klein, DKNY, Armani.

He imagined stepping out of a limo wearing his Armani tux with Serena on his arm. Theyd
stroll down the red carpet leading into the party, music thumping all around them, and
people would turn and say, Oh, in hushed voices. Serena would press her perfect mouth to
Dans ear. I love you, shed whisper. Then Dan would stop and kiss her and pick her up and
carry her back to the limo. Screw the party. They had better things to do.

Can I help you, sir? A salesman asked. Dan turned abruptly. No. I He hesitated and looked
at his watch. Jenny was going to take forever upstairs, and why shouldnt he? As long as he
was there. He picked up the Armani tux and held it out to the sales guy. Can I try this
one on in my size? he said. The cologne must have gone to his head.

Jenny and Maureen had completely scoured the racks, and Maureen had filled a dressing room
with dozens of possibilities in assorted sizes. The problem with Jenny was she was only a
size two, but her chest was a size eight at least. Maureen thought theyd have to
compromise and go for a six, letting it out in the bust and taking it in everywhere else.

The first few dresses were a disaster. Jenny nearly busted the zipper of one trying to
unsnag it from her bra. And the next one didnt even make it over her boobs. The third one
was completely obscene. The fourth one fit, sort of, except it was bright orange and had a
ridiculous ruffle running across it, like someone had slashed it with a knife. Jenny poked
her head out of the curtain to look for Maureen. Next door, Serena and her mother were
just heading out of their dressing room to the cashiers desk.

Serena! Jenny called, without thinking twice. Serena turned around and Jenny blushed. She
couldnt believe she was talking to Serena van der Woodsen while wearing a bright orange
dress with a stupid ruffle on it. Hey Jenny, Serena said, beaming sweetly down at her. She
walked over and kissed Jenny on both cheeks. Jenny sucked in her breath and gripped the
curtain to steady herself. Serena van der Woodsen had just kissed her.

Wow, crazy dress, Serena said. She leaned in to whisper in Jennys ear. Youre lucky you
dont have your mom with you. I got suckered into buying the ugliest dress in the store.
Serena held the dress up. It was long and black and completely gorgeous.

Jenny didnt know what to say. She wished she were the kind of girl who could complain
about shopping with her mother. She wished she were the kind of girl who could complain
about a beautiful dress being ugly. But she wasnt.

Is everything all right, dear? Maureen said, striding over and handing Jenny a strapless
bra contraption to try on with her dresses. Jenny took the bra and glanced at Serena, her
cheeks burning. Id better keep trying this stuff on, she said. See you Monday, Serena.

She let the curtain fall closed, but Maureen pulled it open a few inches. That looks nice,
she said, nodding approvingly at the orange dress. It suits you. Jenny grimaced. Does it
come in black? she asked.

But youre too young for black, Maureen said, frowning. Jenny frowned back and handed the
pile of reject dresses to Maureen, closing the curtain firmly in her face. Thanks for your
help, she called. She yanked the orange dress over her head and whipped off her bra,
reaching for a black stretch-satin dress she had picked out herself. Braless, she pulled
the dress on over her head and felt it ooze all over her. When she looked up, little Jenny
Humphrey had vanished from the dressing room. In her place was a dangerous, slutty sex
goddess. Throw in a pair of kitten heels, a thong, and some Chanel Vamp lipstick, and she
had it going on. No girl is ever too young to wear black.

Late Sunday morning the steps of the Metropolitan Museum of Art were crawling with people.
Tourists, mostly, and locals who had come for a brief visit so they could brag about it to
their friends and sound cultured.

Inside, brunch was being served in the Egyptian wing for all the museums board members and
their families. The Egyptian wing was a superb setting for nighttime partiesglittering
gold and exotic, with the moonlight shining dramatically through its modern glass walls.
But it was all wrong for brunch. Smoked salmon and eggs and mummified Egyptian Pharaohs
really dont mix. Plus, the morning sun was shining so brightly through the slanting glass
walls, it made even the slightest hangover feel ten times worse. Who invented brunch
anyway? The only decent place to be on

Sunday mornings is in bed. The room was filled with large round tables and
freshly-scrubbed Upper-East-Siders. Eleanor Waldorf, Cyrus Rose, the van der Woodsens, the
Basses, the Archibalds, and their children were there, all seated around one table. Blair
was sitting between Cyrus Rose and her mother, looking grumpy. Nate had been
intermittently baked, drunk, or passed out since Friday, and looked woozy and rumpled, as
if hed just woken up. Serena was wearing some of the new clothes shed bought shopping with
her mother the day before, and she had a new haircut, with soft layers framing her face.
She looked even more beautiful than ever, but nervous and jumpy after drinking six cups of
coffee. Only Chuck seemed at ease, happily sipping his Bloody Mary. Cyrus Rose sliced his
salmon-and-leek omelet in half and plunked it on a pumpernickel bagel. Ive been craving
eggs, he said, biting into it hungrily. You know when your body tells you you need
something? he said, to no one in particular. Mines shouting, Eggs, eggs, eggs! And mines
shouting, Shut the fuck up, Blair thought. Blair pushed her plate toward him. Here, have
mine. I hate eggs, she said. Cyrus pushed her plate back. No, youre growing. You need that
more than I do. Thats right, Blair, her mother agreed. Eat your eggs. Theyre good for you.
I hear eggs make your hair shiny, Misty Bass added. Blair shook her head. I dont eat
chicken abortions, she said stubbornly. They make me gag. Chuck reached across the table.
Ill eat them, if you dont want them. Oh, now, Chuck, Mrs. Bass clucked. Dont be a piggy.
She said she didnt want them, Chuck said. Right, Blair? Blair handed her plate over,
careful not to look at Serena or Nate, sitting on either side of Chuck. Serena was busy
cutting her omelet into little squares, like Scrabble pieces. She began building tall
towers of them. Out of the corner of his eye, Nate was watching her. He was also watching
Chucks hands. Each time they slid underneath the tablecloth and out of view, Nate imagined
them all over Serenas legs. Anyone see the Styles section of the Times today? Cyrus asked,
looking around the table. Serenas head shot up. Her picture with the Remi brothers. Shed
forgotten all about it.

She pursed her lips and slunk down in her chair, waiting for an inquisition from her
parents and everyone else at the table. But it never came. It was part of their social
code not to dwell on things that embarrassed them.

Pass me the cream, Nate darling? Blairs mother said, while smiling at Serena. And that was
that. Nates mother cleared her throat. How is the Kiss on the Lips party going, Blair? Are
you girls all ready? she asked, swigging her Seven-and-Seven.

Yes, were all set, Blair answered politely. We finally got the invitations cleared up. And
Kate Spade is sending over the gift bags after school on Thursday. I remember all the
cotillions I used to organize, Mrs. van der Woodsen said, with a dreamy expression. But
the thing we always used to worry about most was would the boys show up. She smiled at
Nate and Chuck. We dont have to worry about that with you two, do we? she said.

Im all over it, Chuck said, scarfing Blairs omelet. Ill be there, Nate said. He glanced at
Blair, who was staring at him now. Nate was wearing that same green cashmere sweater she
had given him in Sun Valley. The one with the gold heart. Excuse me, Blair said. Then she
stood up abruptly and left the table.

Nate followed her. Blair! he called, weaving his way around the other tables, ignoring his
friend Jeremy, who was waving to him from across the room. Wait up. Without turning
around, Blair began walking even faster, her heels clacking on the white marble floor.
They reached the hallway to the restrooms. Come on, Blair. Im sorry, okay? Can we please
talk? Nate called. Blair reached the door to the womens room and turned around, pushing it
halfway open with her rear end. Just leave me alone, okay? she said sharply, and went
inside. Nate stood outside the door for a moment with his hands in his pockets, thinking.
That morning, when hed put on the green sweater Blair had given him, hed found a little
gold heart sewn into the sleeve. Hed never noticed it before, but it was obvious Blair had
put it there. For the first time, he realized that she really meant it when shed said she
loved him. It was pretty intense. And pretty flattering. And it kind of made him