You Know You Love Me (16 page)

Yo, Vanessa said, picking up the phone. She was getting ready to go out with her sister
and her friends, and she was wearing a black bra, black jeans, and her Doc Martens. She
didnt have any clean black shirts left, and her sister was trying to convince her to wear
a red one.

Hi. Is that Vanessa Abrams? a girls voice said on the other end of the phone. Yes. Whos
this? Vanessa said, standing in front of her bedroom mirror and holding the red shirt up
to her chest. She hadnt worn any color but black in two years. Why should she start now?
Please. Its not like wearing a red shirt was going turn her into a bouncy cheerleader with
blond pigtails. Shed have to be brainwashed for that to happen.

Its Serena van der Woodsen. Vanessa stopped looking at herself and threw the shirt on her
bed. Oh, she said. Whats up? Well, Serena said. I totally understand why you wanted to
cast Marjorie. You know, for your film? But you seem to really know what youre doing, and
I really need the extracurricular or Ms. Glos is going to kill me. So I thought Id try to
make my own movie. Uh huh, Vanessa said, trying to figure out why Serena van der Woodsen
of all people would be calling her up on a Friday night. Didnt she have a ball to go to or
something? Some f�te? So anyway, I was wondering if maybe you could help me. You know,
like show me how to use the camera, and whatever. I mean, I really dont know what Im
doing, Serena said. She sighed. I dont know, maybe making a film is a dumb idea. Its
probably a lot harder than I think. Its not dumb, Vanessa said, feeling kind of sorry for
Serena despite herself. I can show you some of the basic stuff. Really? Serena said. She
sounded thrilled. How about tomorrow? Can you do it tomorrow? Saturday was Vanessas
vampire day. She usually woke up after dark and then went to the diner or to the movies
with her sister or Dan. Sunday is better, she said. Okay. Sunday, Serena said. You
probably have a lot of equipment and stuff at your house, right? Why dont I come over
there, so you dont have to lug it around. Sounds good, Vanessa said. Okay, Serena said.
She paused. She didnt seem very eager to hang up the phone. Hey, isnt that big party in
the old Barneys building tonight?

Vanessa said. Arent you going? Nah, Serena answered. I wasnt invited. Vanessa nodded,
processing this information. Serena van der Woodsen wasnt invited? Maybe she wasnt so bad
after all. Well, do you want to come out with us tonight? Vanessa offered before she could
stop herself. Me and my big sister are going to a bar here in Williamsburg. Her band is
playing. Id love to, Serena said. Vanessa gave her the address of The Five and Dimethe bar
her sister was playing inand hung up the phone. Life was so strange. One day you could be
picking your nose and eating donuts, and the next day you could be hanging out with Serena
van der Woodsen. She picked up the red shirt, pulled it on over her head, and looked in
the mirror. She looked like a tulip. A tulip with a stubbly black head. Dan will like it,
her sister Ruby told her, standing in the doorway. She handed Vanessa a tube of dark red
lipstick. Vamp. Well, Dans not coming out tonight, Vanessa said, smirking at her sister.
She dabbed on the lipstick and rubbed her lips together. He has to take his little sister
to some fancy ball. She checked herself out in the mirror once more. The lipstick made her
big brown eyes look even bigger, and the shirt was kind of cool, in a loud, look-at-me
way. Vanessa stuck out her chest and smiled invitingly at her reflection. Maybe Ill get
lucky, she thought. Or maybe not. I have a friend coming to meet us, Vanessa informed her
sister. Boy or girl? Ruby asked, turning around to check out her butt in the mirror. Girl.
Name? said Ruby. Serena van der Woodsen, Vanessa mumbled. The girl whose picture is all
over town? Ruby said, clearly delighted. Yeah, thats her, Vanessa said. Well, I bet shes
pretty cool, Ruby said, rubbing hair gel into her thick black bangs. Maybe, Vanessa
replied. I guess well find out.

What fantastic flowers, said Becky Dormand, a junior at Constance. She kissed Blair on
both cheeks. And what a hot dress! Thanks, Beck, Blair said, looking down at the green
satin sheath she was wearing. She had gotten her period that morning, but she had to wear
extremely flimsy underwear with her dress. It made her nervous.

A waiter walked past with a tray of champagne. Blair whisked a flute off his tray and
downed it in a matter of seconds. It was her third so far. I love your shoes, Blair said.
Becky was wearing black, high- heeled sandals that laced all the way up to her knees. They
went perfectly with her short black tutu dress and her superhigh ponytail. She looked like
a ballerina on acid.

I cant wait for the gift bags, Laura Salmon squealed. Kate Spade, right? I heard they even
put a glow-in-the-dark condom in them, Rain Hoffstetter giggled. Isnt that cool? Not that
youll be using it or anything, Blair said. How do you know? Rain huffed. Blair? Blair
heard someone say in a tremulous voice. Blair turned around to see little Jenny Humphrey
standing behind her, looking like a human Wonderbra in her black satin dress. Oh, hello,
Blair said coolly. Thanks again for doing those invitations. They really came out great.
Thanks for letting me do them, Jenny said. Her eyes darted around the huge room, which was
throbbing with people and music and smoke. Black three-foot-high candles in tall glass
beakers trimmed with peacock feathers and fragrant white orchids flickered everywhere.
Jenny had never been to anything this cool in her life. God, I dont know anyone here, she
said nervously. You dont? Blair said. She wondered if Jenny thought she was going to talk
to her all night. No. My brother Dan was supposed to come with me, but he didnt really
want to, so I just let him drop me off. Actually, I do know one person, Jenny said. Oh,
said Blair. And who is that? Serena van der Woodsen, Jenny chirped. Were making a movie
together. Did she tell you? Just then, a waitress brandished a platter of sushi under
Blairs nose. Blair grabbed a chunky tuna roll and shoved it into her mouth. Serenas not
here yet, she said, chewing hungrily. But Im sure shell be thrilled to see you. Okay. I
guess Ill just wait for her here, then, Jenny said, snagging two flutes of champagne from
a waiters tray. She handed one to Blair. Will you wait with me? Blair took the champagne,
tilted her head back, and poured it down the hatch. The sickly sweet fizziness of it didnt
exactly jive with the raw fish and seaweed shed just eaten. Blair burped queasily. Ill be
right back, she told Jenny, practically running for the powder room.

Jenny took a sip of her champagne and gazed up at the crystal chandelier hanging from the
ceiling, congratulating herself on making it in there. This was exactly what shed always
wanted. She closed her eyes and finished off her flute of champagne. When she opened her
eyes again, she saw stars, but still no Serena.

Another waiter walked by with more champagne, and Jenny took two more glasses. Shed drunk
a little beer and wine at home with her dad, but shed never had champagne before. It
tasted wonderful.

Careful, it doesnt taste so wonderful when youre on your knees in the bathroom, throwing
it up. Jenny looked around for Blair again, but couldnt find her. The party was so
crowded, and although she recognized a lot of faces, there was no one shed actually feel
comfortable going up and talking to. But Serena would be there soon, she had to be.

Jenny walked over to the bottom step of a marble staircase and sat down. She could see
everything from there, including the door. She waited, drinking both glasses of champagne
and wishing her dress wasnt so tight. It was starting to make her feel nauseous.

Well, hello, a deep voice said, hovering above her. Jenny looked up. Her eyes settled on
Chuck Basss aftershave- commercial face and she sucked in her breath. He was the best-
looking boy shed ever seen, and he was looking right at her. Arent you going to introduce
me? Chuck said, staring at Jennys chest. To who? Jenny said, frowning. Chuck just laughed
and held out his hand. Blair had sent him over there to talk to some chick, and hed been
skeptical. But not anymore. The cleavage on her! It was definitely his lucky night. Im
Chuck. Would you like to dance? Jenny hesitated and glanced at the door. Still no Serena.
Then she shifted her gaze back to Chuck. She couldnt believe a handsome and self-assured
boy like him would want to dance with her. But she wasnt wearing a sexy black dress just
to sit on the steps all night. She stood up, a little wobblier than shed been before,
after so much champagne. Sure, lets dance, she slurred, falling against Chucks chest. He
slipped his arm around her waist and squeezed her tight. Good girl, he said, like he was
talking to a dog. As she stumbled out onto the dance floor with him Jenny realized Chuck
hadnt even asked her her name. But he was so handsome, and the party was so amazing. This
would definitely go down as one of the most memorable nights of her life. Yes. It would.

I always drink rum and Coke, Vanessa told Serena. Unless Im doing shots. But you have
whatever you want. They have everything here. Ruby was taking their drink order. Because
she was in the band, she got them for free.

I feel like something different, Serena mused. Can I just get a shot of Stoli and a Coke
on the side? she asked Ruby. Nice choice, Ruby said approvingly. Ruby had a cool black bob
with short bangs and was wearing dark green leather pants. She looked like the kind of
girl who could take care of herself anywhere, anytime. Her band was called SugarDaddy, and
she was the only girl in it. She played bass.

And dont forget my cherry! Vanessa yelled after her as Ruby left to get the drinks. Your
sisters awesome, Serena said. Vanessa shrugged. Yeah, she said. Its a pain in my ass,
though. I mean, everyones always like, Rubys so cool and Im like,

Hello? Serena laughed. I know what you mean. My older brotherhe goes to Brown, and
everybody loves him. My parents are always so into everything he does, and now that Im
back from boarding school its like, Oh, we have a daughter? Totally, Vanessa agreed. She
couldnt believe she was having such a ridiculously normal conversation with Serena van der
Woodsen. Ruby brought them their drinks. Sorry guys, I gotta go set up, she said. Good
luck, Serena told her. Thanks, sweetie, Ruby said. She picked up her guitar case and went
to find her bandmates. Vanessa couldnt believe it. Ruby never called anyone sweetie except
for Tofu, her parakeet. Serena certainly had a way of melting peoples hearts. Vanessa was
even starting to like her a little herself. She picked up her drink and clinked glasses
with Serena. To cool-ass chicks, she said, knowing it sounded seriously gay, but not
really giving a shit. Serena laughed and tossed back her shot of Stoli. She wiped her eyes
and blinked a few times. A scruffy-looking guy wearing an oversized tuxedo was walking
into the bar. He stopped in the doorway and stared at Serena as if hed seen a ghost. Hey,
isnt that your friend Dan? Serena asked Vanessa, pointing at him.

Dan was wearing a tuxedo for the first time in his life. Hed felt

pretty sharp when he first put it on, but he still couldnt deal with the Kiss on the Lips
party. So when Jenny let him blow the party off, hed come to The Five and Dime to
apologize to Vanessa for being such a dick over the Marjorie thing.

Hed tried to convince himself it didnt matter that hed probably never see Serena van der
Woodsen again in his life. After all, he told himself, life was fragile and absurd. Life
was absurd all right. Because there Serena was. In Williamsburg, of all places. His dream
girl.

Dan felt like Cinderella. He shoved his hands in his pockets to keep them from shaking,
and tried to plan his next move. He would walk over and suavely offer to buy Serena a
drink. Too bad the only suave thing about him was his outfit. Even it was only half as
suave as it could have been if hed kept the Armani from Barneys.

Hey, Dan said when he reached their table, his voice cracking. Whatre you doing here?
Vanessa said. She couldnt believe her luck. Did it have to be quite this bad? Was she
going to have to sit there for the rest of the night watching Dan drool over Serena?
Sorry, honey.

I blew off that Kiss on the Lips party. It really wasnt my thing, Dan said. Me too, Serena
said, smiling at Dan like hed never been smiled at before.

Dan clutched the back of Vanessas chair for balance. Hey, he said shyly. You remember
Serena, Vanessa said. Shes in my class at Constance.

Hey Dan, Serena said. Nice tux. Dan blushed and looked down at himself. Thanks, he said.
He looked up again. And that dress is . . . looks . . . pretty also, he stuttered. He
hadnt thought it was possible to sound so idiotic. What about my shirt? Vanessa said
loudly. Have you ever seen me look this hot? Dan stared at Vanessas shirt. It was a red
T-shirt. Not very exciting. Is it new? he asked, confused. Never mind, Vanessa sighed,
impatiently swirling the maraschino cherry around in her glass. Grab a chair, Serena said,
moving over to make room for him. Rubys band is going to play in a minute. The rumors
couldnt possibly be true. Serena didnt look like a sex- crazed, drug-addicted maniac. She
looked delicate and perfect and exciting, like a wildflower you stumble upon unexpectedly
in Central Park. Dan wanted to hold hands with her and whisper to each other all night
long.

He sat down next to her. His hands were shaking so badly he had to sit on them to keep
them still. He wanted her so badly. The band started to play. Serena finished her vodka.

Would you like another one? Dan offered eagerly. Serena shook her head. Im okay, she said,
sitting back in her chair. Lets just listen to the music for a while. Okay, Dan said. As
long as he was near her, hed do anything.

Hello, everyone! Jeremy Scott Tompkinson said loudly, throwing open the doors to the old
Barneys building. As always, Nate, Jeremy, Anthony, and Charlie had smoked a big fatty
before the party. Nate was silly high, and when he walked through the door and saw Blair
pushing her way through the crowd with her hand pressed over her mouth, he started to
giggle. Whatre you laughing at, jackass? Anthony said, shoving his elbow into Nates ribs.
Nothings even happened yet.

Nate wiped his hand over his face and tried to look serious, but it was hard to keep a
straight face in a room full of boys dressed like penguins, and girls in sexy dresses. He
knew Blair was in the bathroom, throwing up as usual. The question was, should he go
rescue her? It was the type of thing a good, concerned boyfriend would do.

Go for it. You know you want to. Bars over there, Charlie said, leading the way. Ill catch
you guys later, Nate said, pushing his way through the crowded dance floor. He ducked
around Chuck, who was gyrating his crotch against the ass of a short girl with curly brown
hair and insane cleavage, and headed for the ladies room.

But Blair hadnt made it to the ladies room. Before shed gotten there, a middle-aged woman
in a red Chanel suit with a Save the Falcons button pinned to it had stopped her. Blair
Waldorf? the woman said, holding out her hand and smiling her best fundraising smile. Im
Rebecca Agnelli, from the Central Park Save the Peregrine Falcon Foundation.

Talk about bad timing. Blair stared at the womans hand. Her own right hand was clapped
over her mouth, holding in the vomit that threatened to spew out at any moment. She
started to remove it so she could shake hands, but then a waiter walked by with sizzling
skewers of spicy chicken, and Blair gagged. Blair squeezed her lips together to keep the
puke from seeping out

the sides of her mouth and changed hands, clapping the left one over her mouth and
reaching out to shake hands with her right hand. Its so wonderful to finally meet you, the
woman said as they clasped hands. I cant thank you enough for all youve done. Blair nodded
and pulled her hand away. Enough was enough. She couldnt hold on any longer. Her eyes
darted around the crowded room, desperately seeking help.

There were Kati and Isabel, dancing with each other. There was Anthony Avuldsen, handing
out tabs of E. There was Jeremy Scott Tompkinson, trying to teach Laura Salmon and Rain
Hoffstetter how to blow smoke rings by the bar. There was Chuck, holding that little Ginny
girl so tight it looked like her boobs might explode.

All the extras were there, but where was her leading man, her savior? Blair? She turned
around and saw Nate pushing his way through the crowd toward her. Nates eyes were
bloodshot, his face slack, his hair uncombed. He looked more like a forgettable supporting
actor than a leading man.

Was this all there was? Was Nate it? Blair didnt have much choice. She opened her eyes
wide, silently asking Nate for help and praying hed be up to the job. Ms. Agnelli frowned
and turned around to see what Blair was staring at. Blair made a run for it, and Nate
stepped in just in time. Thank God he was so stoned. Nate Archibald, Nate said, shaking
hands with the woman. My mother is a big fan of those falcons. Ms. Agnelli laughed and
blushed a little. What a charming young man. Well, of course she is, she said. Your family
has been very generous with our foundation. Nate plucked two flutes of champagne off a
passing tray and handed one to her. He raised his glass. To the birds, he said, clinking
his glass with hers and trying to fend off an outbreak of the giggles. Ms. Agnelli blushed
again. This boy was too cute! Hey, those two girls helped plan the party, too, Nate said,
pointing at Kati and Isabel, who were standing on the edge of the dance floor, useless as
usual. He waved them over. Hello, Nate, said Kati, tottering over on four-inch stilettos.
Isabel clutched her drink and stared at the strange woman standing next to Nate. Hi, she
said. I love your suit. Thank you, dear. Im Rebecca Agnelli, from the Central Park Save
the Peregrine Falcons Foundation, the woman said. She held her

hand out to Isabel, who reached out with both arms to give her a drunken hug. Excuse me,
said Nate, bowing out right on cue.