Always (12 page)

I knew that Marcus would never betray me, he would never lie to me about anything. I trusted him with everything I had, and I loved him with everything I had.

It wasn’t enough though. I wasn’t enough for someone as perfect as he was. I closed my eyes against the tears that threatened. I couldn’t spend the day in bed crying over a man I could never have.

Today was supposed to be my wedding day. I was going to be married to Edmund. I should have been happy about that, but the thought cut off all the air to my lungs. I felt like I was choking.

I took a deep breath and let my eyes open slowly. I only saw the door from my place on the bed, but it was a door I knew well. My eyebrows puckered with my turmoil. Would I be able to stop thinking about Marcus today?

He wasn’t who I should be worried about. I should be worried that very soon, there would be many people wanting to know where I had been. Would they be happy to see me?

“
Of course,” I whispered firmly. Of course they would be glad that I was okay, and of course they would have been worried about me yesterday.

The more I thought of all the heartache I must have caused Aunt Dora, the angrier I became with myself. I flung my blankets aside, determined not to leave her worrying any longer.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed and placed my bare feet on the cold hard wood. Any other morning and I might have crawled back under the covers until Becky came in to start the fire, but not this morning. This morning, I needed to see Aunt Dora as soon as possible.

I shuffled quickly to the fireplace and put a small piece of wood from the pile on top of the still hot embers. I didn’t wait for the flames to start back up though. Instead, I turned to my bureau to find a dress for the morning.

I flinched slightly when my hands fell on the exquisite white and gold wedding gown that Edmund’s mother had purchased from London. I paused briefly to wonder if I would still be wearing the gown that afternoon.

I shook my head and continued my search for a plain dress for that morning. Before I found it though, I remembered Marcus’s jacket from the night before. I needed to hide it until I could return it to him. And what about the basin from last night? How was I going to explain that when I didn’t even know how it had gotten up here?

I ground my teeth together. I hated to tell stories that weren’t true and my list of lies was just getting longer. I would just shove the jacket into the back of my bureau for now- at least then it would be safe.

I turned back to the fire where I had left it to dry, but it wasn’t there anymore. Confused, I looked around me. The chair was pushed back up to the vanity, but the jacket was gone. I glanced under the bed just to be sure, but it wasn’t there either.

Things got even stranger when I realized that the basin of water was also gone. There was nothing to indicate that it had ever been there. My nose crinkled with my confusion. It had been there, I was sure of it.

I heard the familiar creaking of the stairs and then footsteps sounded outside my door. I self-consciously straightened my nightgown and tried not to look guilty.

The door opened slowly and Becky appeared on the other side. Her face was crumpled in a look of despair. The sight tightened my chest and propelled me across the room so I could fling my arms around her waist.

“
Becky,” I called happily.

The color drained from her usually cheerful face. “Miss Claudia?” she whispered hoarsely. “You’re back and you’re okay.”

I flushed guiltily. “Yeah,” I nodded.

“
When did you get back?”

“
I got in last night, but I didn’t want to wake anyone.”

“
Oh,” she inhaled a great gust of air. “Shame on you for not waking us, after all the misery of yesterday! I’m sure no one slept much anyway.”

I bit my lip, “Sorry,” I mumbled.

She wrapped her arms around my shoulders. “I’m just glad you’re okay. Where were you?”

“
I was…lost…in the woods.”

Her soft eyes widened and instantly pooled with tears. “Oh my dear Claudia, how frightened you must have been.” I nodded and let my tears fall with hers.

The false explanations were easier with Becky. It didn’t really matter to her where I had been, she was just glad I was back. I hoped everyone else felt the same way.

“
I’ll go and get your Aunt Dora,” she pushed herself away from me.

“
Maybe I can just get dressed first.”

“
Oh no,” Becky shook her head from side to side, “she’ll want to see that you’re safe right away.”

I watched her go without protesting any further. Hadn’t I just been thinking the same thing myself? I clasped my hands tightly at my waist, waiting.

A loud screech resounded through the house, making me jump. That answered my question as to whether Aunt Dora would be glad to see me. Loud footsteps traveled up the stairs and then she was pulling me into her motherly embrace, sobbing and talking incoherently.

“
Oh my dear,” she cried after she was done smothering me, “we all thought the worst.”

I put my head against her chest, ashamed beyond words for making this wonderful woman cry. “I’m so sorry, Aunt Dora,” I said into her dress.

“
I’m just glad you’re home safe. You have nothing to be sorry for,” she stroked my hair just like she used to when I was a child. “Becky tells me you were lost?” At my nod, she continued. “To be out in those woods all alone,” she clicked her tongue. “Why ever did you not wake us up last night when you found your way home?”

“
I didn’t want to wake you up.”

I heard her heavy sigh. “How did you find your way back anyways?”

“
Marcus Letrell found me and led me back home.” Had I made a mistake in mentioning his name at all?

“
Marcus Letrell?” I could almost see the confusion on her face even though my face was still buried into her dress. “You mean our new neighbor?”

“
Yeah,” I croaked.

“
What was he doing out in the woods?”

“
I don’t know,” I shook my head, “but I’m lucky that he was.”

“
I should say so.” She absently stroked my hair again. “Your uncle Philip is eager to see you safe, dear. Get dressed and then come downstairs.” She gently pushed me away and kissed my forehead before leaving me to dress.

Uncle Philip! I closed my eyes as new agony washed over me. How much more suffering had I caused?

“
Are you alright, Miss Claudia?” Becky asked.

I hadn’t even realized she was still in my room. My eyes popped back open. “I’m… okay,” I responded on a sigh. Nothing could be done for it now. It would be best if I just hurried to get dressed so I could get down to see Uncle Philip.

“
Shall we get you dressed then?” Becky asked with a smile.

I nodded, trying hard to match her enthusiasm. “Just something simple, Bec,” I pleaded.

“
The white one?” She held up the dress I had already thought of wearing.

“
Yes, that one will work nicely.” I shimmied out of my nightgown as Becky laid out my things for the day.

My head was down when she turned back to me so I missed her expression, but I heard her sharp intake of breath. “What happened to you, Miss?” she asked in horror.

“
With what?” I looked behind me, expecting to see Marcus or Ryan in my room.

“
Who did that to your arm?” She pointed to the long scratches on my arm.

“
Oh,” I half tried to hide the marks that she had already seen. “I scratched it on a… tree.” I tried to brush her concern away. “It was dark,” I shrugged, “I don’t really know how this happened.”

That wasn’t an entire lie. It was dark that night and I wasn’t completely sure how Ryan had managed to attack me.

“
You’ll want the doctor to look at those,” she gasped, “and that on your leg, too.”

I had almost forgotten about the scratch on my leg. It no longer hurt at all and it didn’t even look as bad as it had yesterday. I just wanted to be dressed as quickly as possible.

I raised my arms above my head and Becky slipped my clothes on me. She turned me around so she could button the back and then guided me to the vanity where she began brushing out my mess of curls. She somehow managed to tie it back into a single braid down my back.

I ran my fingers lightly over the angry red marks that were visible above my dress line. I pressed my lips into a thin white line. Now I would have even more things that I wouldn’t be able to explain.

I rolled my eyes and got up from my seat. “I’m starving,” I rubbed my empty stomach.

“
Then we best get down to breakfast,” she grinned.

I wiggled both eyebrows in her direction and got the response I was looking for. She laughed quietly and covered her mouth with her hands. How I would miss my Bec when I was moved to London.

She let me lead the way downstairs and squeezed my hand tightly before I went into the dining room where I knew Uncle Philip was waiting to see me. The smell of bacon and toast coming from just beyond the doorway made my stomach rumble. I hadn’t had much to eat in the past few days.

I entered the room with a smile on my face and when I saw who was sitting at the table with my aunt and uncle, that smile froze in place.

“
Edmund,” I whispered.

“
Claudia!” Uncle Philip jumped out of his seat and sidestepped around the table so he could embrace me.

I could only half-heartedly return his hug with Edmund glaring at me. “Claudia,” he nodded curtly.

“
Hello, Edmund.” I felt the rapid beating of my heart. I couldn’t help but remember how Marcus made my heart react. This was so much different. A strange sort of fear began creeping up my neck.

“
I know you two have a lot to talk about,” Aunt Dora said with a wink at me, “but first let’s break our fast.” She took my hand and dragged me to sit between her and Edmund.

“
Hi,” I whispered nervously to him, but he didn’t respond.

A full plate was put in front of me, but I didn’t know how I was going to be able to eat a single bite. I took a deep breath and piled my fork with fluffy eggs. My hand trembled, but I did manage to get a few bites into my mouth.

After I was finished, I laid my fork down and sat awkwardly at the table. Aunt Dora happily ate her meal, oblivious to the tension between us. “Think I’ll finish that old fence today,” Uncle Philip commented as if nothing had ever happened.

“
Claudia,” Edmund said stiffly, “may I speak with you alone, please?”

“
Of course,” I nodded slowly, afraid to be alone with him, but unable to see a way out of it.

His chair was loud as it scraped along the floor. I knew he was angry when he didn’t wait for me. He walked forcefully from the room.

I followed close behind him to the front parlor. He didn’t say a word, only directed me to sit in a chair. I sat tensely on the edge of my seat waiting to hear what he would tell me.

Chapter
Fourteen

“
Where have you been?” he asked without preamble.

I swallowed thickly. “I was…um…lost.”

“
Lost where?”

I sank deeper into my seat. “In the woods.” Why did my declaration have to sound so much like a question?

He sat down in front of me. “What were you doing in the woods?” By the set of his mouth, I could tell just how much he was trying to contain his anger.

“
I heard a noise, so I went out to investigate,” my breathing quickened as I hurried to make up the next part of my story.

“
What was the noise?”

My mind drew a blank. What was the noise? “It was Hunter,” I blurted out.

His lip curled slightly. “Who is Hunter?”

“
Uncle Philip’s dog.”

“
So you went out in the middle of the night because of a dog.”

“
I thought I heard him crying, so I went out to see what was wrong. But when I got close to the dog, he took off running, so I followed.”

“
Why would you do such a foolish thing?”