Always and Forever (22 page)
Read Always and Forever Online
Authors: Lauren Crossley
I suddenly remember all of the times a random girl
from college would come up to me, rudely demanding to know if Callum and I were
together. He was so popular and good looking, there were a ton of girls who
were interested in him but for some reason he never seemed to reciprocate their
feelings.
“Like I said, it’s in the past. I do need you to promise me
something though. I need you to swear to me that you will never come by the
bookstore again, you have no idea what the repercussions would be if my father
found out about tonight. He can’t ever know that I saw you or that I wasn’t at
home this evening. Please promise me you will stay away from that place.”
“Of course I won’t. I’d never risk your safety and now I
know the way things really are.”
“Thank you.” I say, smiling weakly.
“Bethany…” He leans in towards me and I find myself
horrified by the idea of taking this further. What about Jake? I’d be betraying
him if I allowed this to happen.
Before Callum’s lips meet with my own, I place a hand on
his chest to prevent him from doing something I will later regret.
“Don’t. We can’t do this, Callum. I’m waiting for
someone.”
“Who?” He demands angrily.
“His name is Jake, I haven’t known him for very long but
it’s pretty serious.”
“I see.”
I watch as Callum’s eyes turn cold and distant, I don’t
know whether I’m relieved or disappointed to see him withdraw from me so
quickly.
“He should be here by now; I don’t know what’s keeping him.
I’m actually quite worried; he’s never late like this.”
I glance at my phone and groan when I see that it’s turned
itself off due to the low battery. I realise that even if Jake were to phone me
I wouldn’t know about it. I really need to get back home and call him; I have
to find out what’s going on.
“Let me get this straight, he arranged to meet you here and
then didn’t even have the decency to turn up?”
“It’s not like that, Callum. I’m sure something’s wrong or
something awful has happened to him. This isn’t like Jake; he wouldn’t just
leave me here like this.”
“I can’t believe he would keep you waiting when you’re on
your own in the dark. It’s not safe for you to be out here, Bethany. Anything
could happen.”
“I’m perfectly alright; I can take care of myself.” I say
stubbornly.
“Well, have you tried calling him?”
“Of course I have but now my battery has died and I really
need to get home and get it recharged.” I jump to my feet, shoving my phone
back in my pocket.
I just can’t shake the horrendous feeling that
something bad has happened. My eyes fill with my unshed tears and I wring my
hands together, trying to regain some control over myself and my turbulent
emotions.
“Bethany, calm down. I’m sure everything’s fine, he might
have got caught up with something, maybe work? Please don’t go, I really don’t
want to say goodbye yet and we’ve hardly had a chance to talk and catch up. You
can’t leave like this.” He stands up to join me, placing his hands on my
shoulders so that we’re face to face.
“Don’t you understand what I’ve just said? Something’s
wrong, we meet here every week at the same time and in the same place. Jake
wouldn’t do this to me unless something was wrong. I need to find out if he’s
ok.” I glance behind me, desperate to see Jake’s tall silhouette walking
towards me in the distance.
“You’re not going anywhere until you calm down; if you want
to go home then I’m taking you. No way are you walking the streets at night by
yourself.” His strong hand wraps around my wrist, turning me back towards him.
His eyes are full of concern for me and I nod my head in
acceptance. I do need to get a grip; if I go home like this my mum is bound to
be suspicious.
“I used to love it when you did that.” He whispers huskily.
“What?” I glance up at him, frowning and oblivious.
“When you bite down on that bottom lip of yours, it’s the
sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. It always was and nothing has changed.”
My mouth falls open in astonishment, I didn’t even realise that
I’d been biting on my lip.
The expression on Callum’s face is intense, it makes me
squirm and I don’t know if his comment offended me or did something else
entirely. Something I can’t even bring myself to acknowledge or address.
“Callum…” I don’t finish my sentence and the silence that
follows is deafening.
He’s breathing heavy and his posture is tense. He looks
like he’s struggling with himself, as though he’s seconds away from grabbing me
and smashing our lips together.
“I’m sorry, forget I said that.” He rakes his fingers
through his sandy blond hair in torment.
“All I care about right now is finding Jake. I need to talk
to him.” I tug on my own hair in frustration, almost frantic.
I can’t believe I’m having these inappropriate feelings, I
should be with Jake, I should be at home trying to contact him and yet I can’t
help but wonder what it would feel like if Callum were to act on his impulses.
What would it feel like? Would I like it? Why didn’t I feel this way about him
before? I don’t even know if he has a girlfriend. He didn’t want a relationship
in college but what about now? Is that what he’s wanting from me?
“Ok, Bethany. I’ll take you home. We’ll go right now but
before we leave I need to ask you something.”
“Ok but can you make it quick?” I say impatiently.
“I need to know if I’ll be able to see you again. I’ll take
anything that I can get, I’ll even be respectful of this friendship you have
with Jake but please… I’m begging you, I can’t lose you again. Please don’t
make me go through that a second time. The first time nearly killed me.” He
implores me with glazed over eyes to take him seriously.
I’ve never seen Callum like this before. His agony is
palpable and I can only imagine what he’s been through these last two years.
His pain is still raw and before I manage to filter through the thoughts racing
through my brain, I find myself saying yes.
“It’s going to be difficult. I don’t even know how I’m
going to manage; I barely get to leave the house as it is.”
“We’ll figure it out, Bethany. I promise that we can do
this however you want.” Callum takes a step closer towards me, taking hold of
my arms and pulling my body up against his. His fingers make contact with the
bruises on my arms and I bite down on my lip to stop myself from crying out in
pain. The bruises look worse than ever, they’ve now darkened to a hideous
purple and I have to force myself to look away whenever I undress. I can’t bear
to see the reminder of what my father did that night and I certainly don’t want
Callum to know anything about it.
“I have a phone now so maybe we can exchange numbers? I
can’t promise you anything but we can try.” I swallow nervously.
“Baby, you really need to stop doing that if you expect me
to behave myself.”
It takes me a moment to figure out what he’s referring to.
It’s only when Callum licks his own lips whilst staring at mine that I realise
what I was doing. I release the hold on my bottom lip and focus on the ground
at my feet instead.
“What’s your number? My phone isn’t working and I can’t remember
mine off by heart yet.”
“Shit, how are you going to remember this? Do you have a
pen?” The look of horror on Callum’s face is almost comical; if I weren’t so
worried about Jake I’d find the situation funny.
“Please, we need to hurry. I have to get home so I can
charge my phone.” I’m practically pleading with him, my anxiety is out of
control and I feel like I’m close to hyperventilating as I imagine all of the
terrifying things that might have happened to Jake.
“I really should have a pen on me, I was studying earlier.
Fucking hell! I had one, I swear I did!” Callum pats himself down; desperately
searching for the one thing he believes will keep us from losing touch.
His piercing gaze locks on mine as soon as he locates a pen
from one of his pockets. He raises his eyebrows at me, silently asking me
something. I don’t realise what it is until he takes hold of my forearm and
gently rolls up my sleeve. On the inside of my wrist he writes his number and
at one point I find myself closing my eyes, losing myself in the wonderful
sensation his touch brings to me. He continues to hold my arm, even when he’s
finished noting down his number and we stare at one another for several seconds
before I break away from him, pulling down my sleeve.
“So now you have my number can we please get going? I need
to know what’s happened to Jake, I have to call him.” I wail desperately.
“Bethany, don’t do this to yourself, everything is going to
be ok. I’ll walk you home right now. I’m sure you don’t have any reason to
worry about Jake; he’s a thoughtless and insensitive idiot for doing this to
you. You should be angry with him, not worried.”
I’m just about to reprimand him for the way he spoke when
we’re startled by an intake of breath behind us. I turn around and gasp as soon
as I come face to face with Jake. I don’t know how long he’s been standing
there but he looks absolutely furious. He’s glaring at us with such contempt,
it’s as though the sight of us sickens him and I hardly recognise the man who’s
staring back at me with such disdain and malice. His ice-cold expression is
disturbing and the hatred that he’s projecting is so powerful it makes me
tremble. I never thought Jake would look at me this way. It’s like he doesn’t
know me, as though I’m a stranger he despises. People always say there’s a thin
line between love and hate. I think I’m about to find out how thin that line
really is…
“Sorry, am I interrupting something?” Jake’s voice
is impassive and detached, something which hurts me more than his direct anger
would right now.
His dark eyes narrow as his gaze lazily wanders
up and down my body. I can feel his touch even though he’s several feet away
from me and the next time I look up at Jake I see his concentration has now
moved onto Callum.
His expression hardens and I notice the
erratic rise and fall of Jake’s chest as he tries to regain some control over
himself.
“Jake, just let me explain.” I make a move
towards him but he stops me by holding up his hands, advising me to keep away.
“Don’t, Bethany. Just don’t.” He warns me.
I haven’t witnessed this side of Jake before,
the man standing before me is unrecognisable.
“Where the hell have you been, Jake? I was so
worried.” I ask, closing the distance between us. I need him to know the truth,
he has to realise how anxious I’ve been and I’m also hoping that my concern
will dispel some of the anger he’s exuding.
Ignoring his previous warning, I throw myself
into Jake’s arms and squeeze him tight. I need to feel his body pressed against
mine, I somehow need to convince myself that he’s really here, that he’s alive
and safe. I crave his touch and his reassurance more than ever and the fact
that he won’t give it to me makes me want it even more.
At first he tries to pull away from my embrace
but I tighten my hold on him and refuse to let go. He’s unbelievably angry and
frustrated; I can feel the heat from his rage radiating from his body and I
wonder if he’s ever going to give into my embrace. When his strong, protective
arms circle around my waist, dragging my upper body even closer against his, I
breathe a sigh of relief.
His muscular chest pressed tightly against my
own enables me to feel his strong heartbeat pounding beneath his clothes. I’m
fully aware that Callum is still standing behind us and he must be staring, I
try to free myself from Jake’s firm hold which has now changed into something
relentless. If we were alone the last thing I’d want is to separate myself from
him but I feel too conspicuous doing this in front of an audience. The way Jake
is holding me is too intimate; when I try to put some space between us he
tightens his hold on me even more, bringing my body flush against his. I gasp
when I feel how turned on he is to be in such close proximity to me, making it
impossible for me to hide the rush of colour to my cheeks.
I inhale sharply when his eyes remain fixed on
mine, wetting his lips with his tongue. He lowers them until they’re pressed
firmly against the bare skin between my collarbone and my neck.
His heavy breathing intensifies when he feels
me trembling against him; he knows I forget everything when his lips caress my
skin. He continues to keep me secured between his arms with a possessiveness that
I have never felt or experienced before. I don’t know whether to be alarmed or
aroused.
Even though he’s touching me I know Jake’s
attention is focused elsewhere. I can sense that his gaze is locked on Callum
who is still standing behind me. He’s probably wondering what the hell is wrong
with us. What we’re doing is wrong. It’s sick. We’re sick and what we’re doing
in front of him isn’t fair. I know all of this and yet I still can’t seem to
break away from Jake, I don’t want to stop him from touching me. I crave
him and I’m hungry for more.
I realise that I still have to explain to
Jake who Callum is and I also need to reassure him that there’s nothing going
on between us but I’m too intoxicated right now to explain anything. What
Jake’s doing to me is indescribable, it’s as though I’m hypnotised by him,
drawn to him in a way I never even thought was possible until I met him.
His arms have formed a circle around me,
pulling me so close that we’re chest to chest and the arousal this ignites
within me is indescribable. His hard and muscular torso is such a huge contrast
to my own slight frame and the difference in our height proves to be
insignificant seeing as Jake’s practically lifting me from the ground.
I gasp as Jake’s tongue slowly strokes along the
length of my collarbone, followed by his merciless lips peppering soft kisses
up my neck. What he’s doing is intentional and the most infuriating thing is
that I’m too weak to stop him. He’s purposefully turning me on right in front
of Callum as though we’re putting on some sort of show. I’m fully aware of all
of this but still can’t find the willpower or the inclination to protest. It
feels amazing; his touch is so alluring and seductive. How am I expected to
turn away from him when he has this much power of me? It’s close to impossible.
Just when I think I can’t take his merciless
teasing anymore, Jake finally decides to loosen his hold on me. He rests both
of his hands on my shoulders and pushes me away from him, holding me at arms
length as his cold stare falls on my bewildered face. I notice the
caution and mistrust in his eyes as he studies me, trying to read my thoughts.
I don’t want Jake to doubt me but I’m also a little furious by the hurtful
performance he just made in front of my friend.