Always and Forever (23 page)
Read Always and Forever Online
Authors: Lauren Crossley
Wondering how the hell I’m going to explain any
of this, I avert my gaze from Jake, desperate to put some emotional distance
between us. It’s only when I observe the hungry, almost feral look of intensity
in his eyes that I register what I was doing. His expression darkens when his
eyes drop down to my mouth, I was biting on my lip again and I didn’t even
notice. I watch Jake as he battles against himself, a part of him wants me so
badly but another part is still so angry. He has no idea what he interrupted and
the jealous, irrational part of his brain is screaming at him to find out.
Our moment is finally broken by the sound of
Callum clearing his throat. I turn around to face him with an apologetic look
on my face. I’m so ashamed and embarrassed; I can’t believe I allowed myself to
be manipulated like that. I’m so weak, it’s pathetic.
“Jake, this is Callum. Remember the friend I
told you about? The one I had in college before I was forced to leave?” My
voice sounds meek and fearful but I’m thankful that I finally found the
strength to introduce them to one another.
A flash of recognition lights up on Jake’s face
before a furious scowl replaces it. It’s as though the fact that I
used to know Callum makes it worse.
I look over at Callum who is glaring at Jake,
his frown is full of hate and I’m starting to resent the fact that I’m standing
in between them.
“So you two just
happened
to bump into
each other?” Jake asks disbelievingly, glowering at us both with contempt.
“That’s right.” Callum replies tersely.
“And I’m expected to believe that?”
“It’s true, Jake. I was waiting for you when
Callum saw me. He just happened to be walking by, a total coincidence.”
At the sound of my voice, Jake finally drags
his intensive gaze away from Callum. His jaw is clenched and he still looks
absolutely disgusted with me, I guess telling him the truth bout how Callum and
I know each other didn’t ease his suspicions about us.
“Didn’t you check your phone? I left you a ton of
messages and plenty of missed calls.” Jake says pointedly.
“I was about to call you to find out why you
were so late when it ran out of battery and switched itself off. I was really
worried, Jake.”
“Well, I’m here now so I think it’s about time
your friend left.” Jake snaps unkindly.
“Jake, there’s no need to be rude. Callum was
just keeping me company whilst I waited for you.”
“Bethany, it’s ok. I have to get going anyway
but here’s my phone number. Please call me.”
I can hardly believe my eyes when Callum offers
the scrap of paper to me with his number scribbled on it. I realise just how
incriminating this looks, as though there really is something going on between
us and I can’t believe that Callum would do this when it’s so apparent that
Jake is already mad. The three of us just stand there staring at one another. I
know the two of them are challenging one another to make the first move, I just
don’t know who it will be.
Feeling brave, I turn to Jake who has an
incredulous expression on his face, as though he can’t quite believe the nerve
of the idiot standing in front of him. His focus soon shifts over to me from
the piece of paper that Callum is holding, he tilts his head to the side,
feigning amusement as he waits for me to accept Callum’s note.
No matter what I do right now somebody is going
to be hurt. If I accept the number it will be like I’m betraying Jake but if I
don’t accept then I’ll be throwing my friendship with Callum away. I bite down
on my lip, struggling with the best way to handle this when I notice two pairs
of eyes drop down to my mouth. Both men have a lustful expression on their face
and I shift my weight from one foot onto the other, feeling incredibly
uncomfortable.
Realising that they’re both awaiting my next
move, I drag my fingers through my unruly hair before reaching out and
snatching the piece of paper from Callum’s grasp. This is going to cause a lot
of problems between me and Jake but I really feel like I owe it to my old
friend to do this. I can’t reject him again, he thought I’d abandoned him and
after finding out how desperate he was to find me after I left college… I just
can’t turn my back on him again.
I’m just about to shove the scrap of paper in
my pocket when Jake’s hand reaches out and grabs hold of my wrist, curling his
fingers around me possessively and preventing me from pocketing Callum’s
number.
“I don’t think so.” Jake speaks confidently but
there’s an underlying threat hidden underneath his words.
I look up at him, hoping to silently convey my
anger but his attention is not aimed at me, his frightening glare is focused on
Callum, making it obvious that he’s warning him to keep away.
“Look, she’s my friend and I haven’t seen her
for a really long time. She’s taking my number.” Callum says firmly, taking a
step closer towards Jake.
“Jake, we’re just friends, I promise you
.
You have nothing to worry about and you need to trust me.” I turn my back on
Callum and stand directly in front of Jake, imploring him with my eyes to
believe me.
His expression softens when he says the honesty
on my face but his fingers still remain tightly wrapped around my wrist. I
close the gap between us and moisten my lips whilst gazing up at him
beseechingly.
“Bethany…” He whispers, advising me to stop
with my seductive approach.
He knows exactly what I’m doing because he’s
guilty of doing the same thing to me just a few minutes ago. Despite his
caution, he reluctantly relinquishes his hold on my wrist, allowing me to
pocket the tiny piece of paper.
“Callum, you better go.” I glance over at him,
trying to convey my need for him to leave discreetly.
There’s things I need to talk about with Jake,
things we can’t discuss whilst Callum’s here. I still need to find out why Jake
was so late, I have to know why he didn’t let me know he wasn’t coming.
“Ok, I have to get going anyway.” Callum moves
closer towards me and I notice Jake clenching his fists out of the corner of my
eye.
“Bye, thanks for waiting with me.” I whisper
quietly.
“No problem. I look forward to hearing from you,
Bethany.” He lowers his head towards mine so that his words are spoken close to
my ear.
“Ok.” I mumble, feeling awkward and
uncomfortable being in such close proximity to Callum, especially in front of
Jake.
“Bye, Beautiful.”
He says it quietly but loud enough so that Jake
can hear, causing him to inhale sharply as he takes a step forward. The fury
Jake is feeling is written all over his face, making me realise how difficult
this must be for him to remain so calm and in control. I’m actually amazed by
his willpower.
All of that changes when Callum tries to hug
me…
He reaches out but before I can even decide
whether I should return his embrace or not Jake has already pulled me out of
the way, positioning himself between me and Callum so that I can no longer see
him at all. My entire view is blocked by Jake’s protective stance in front of
me and I don’t know if I should be relieved or annoyed by Jake’s jealousy.
“Jake, just let him walk away. It’s you I want,
not him.” I speak so softly, my words are merely a whisper. Jake is the only
person I want to hear my voice.
“Just go.” Jake growls menacingly, the
underlying threat causes me to tremble with fear, even though I’m not the one
he wants to intimidate.
He must sense my unease because he turns his head
slightly and some of the tension dissipates from his shoulders. I’m longing for
the Jake I know and love, the one who makes me feel safe and cherished, not
this jealous, possessive alpha male who wants me all for himself.
“See you around, Bethany. Call me!” Callum
shouts over his shoulder as he walks away, leaving Jake and I alone for the
first time in seven days.
I watch Jake’s knuckles turn white as he
clenches his fists and his breathing once again becomes uneven and heavy.
Deciding I need to get this confrontation over with, I cautiously walk around
Jake until I’m standing in front of him.
“What are you playing at, Jake?” I demand
angrily.
“
Me
?” He asks incredulously, his eyes
widening in astonishment.
“Yes!
What the hell were you thinking? That public display you just put on for Callum
was sick and wrong.”
“Don’t even think about trying to make me feel
guilty for that. I’m not the one who has just been caught with somebody else,
Bethany.”
I glower at him in indignation. How can he
stand there and say that to me? I was not all over Callum, when Jake
interrupted us we were just stood next to one another, we weren’t touching at
all.
“Jake, I’ve already told you that there is
nothing going on between us, Callum and I are just friends and that’s all we’ve
ever been to each other.”
“Why doesn’t that make me feel any better?” He
sneers sarcastically, wounding my heart like he never has done before.
“Look, there is something that I need to tell
you, something I didn’t even know myself until tonight.” I confess, knowing
that I have to be completely honesty with Jake if I want him to believe me.
“What is it?” He demands, taking hold of my
shoulders firmly.
“Callum told me that he tried to keep in touch
with me after I was forced to leave college. He wrote to me and would come by
the bookstore my father owns, hoping he would get to see me but he never did. I
never got any of those letters; my father must have kept them from me all this
time.”
“He wrote to you and tried to see you?” He
squeezes my shoulders possessively, revealing the true extent of his resentment
and jealousy.
“Yes.”
“This is exactly what I’m saying. He obviously
wants you. He wouldn’t have spent the last two years trying to get in contact
if he didn’t have feelings for you, Bethany.”
He drags his fingers through his hair and turns
his back on me, leaving me desolate and desperate to make him see reason.
“It doesn’t matte if he does like me. What I
feel for Callum is nothing in comparison to what I feel for you. I haven’t seen
him in years and I’m not dumb enough to believe that our friendship can just
carry on like before.”
Jake sighs heavily before turning around to
face me. There’s so much anguish and torment in his eyes, it hurts for me to
see him vulnerable like this.
“Don’t look at me like that.” He says sadly,
hanging his head in shame.
“Like what?” I challenge him
“Like all you want is for me to hold you. It
makes me feel like shit and I hate myself for making you look like that.”
“That’s all I want, Jake. All I want is for you
to hold me.”
He’s by my side in a second, pulling me towards
him and stroking my hair as he tries to comfort me and make up for all of the
mistrust and doubt.
“I’m sorry.” He mumbles against my hair,
tracing his fingers along my neck in a soothing, reassuring caress.
“Where were you? Why were you so late?”
“I tried calling you, I swear I did I also
texted you several times and as soon as I knew that I was going to be late I
tried to get in touch. There was… a bit of trouble at the bar where I work and
I had to go down there and sort it out. I tried countless times to let you know
that I was still coming but I’d be a little late. When you didn’t respond to me
I started to get really worried, I got here as soon as I could.”
“I was really worried about you too. I convinced
myself that something awful had happened, it was horrible not knowing where you
were.”
“I’m sorry, baby. I promise I won’t do that to
you again.” He kisses the top of my head before gently pushing me away so he
can take a look at me.
“I didn’t mean to scare you either, the battery
on my phone died so I didn’t receive any of your texts or anything.”
“Nothing had happened, right? Because I’ve had
a horrible feeling all week that something was wrong, you’ve been so distant in
your texts.”
of this, I avert my gaze from Jake, desperate to put some emotional distance
between us. It’s only when I observe the hungry, almost feral look of intensity
in his eyes that I register what I was doing. His expression darkens when his
eyes drop down to my mouth, I was biting on my lip again and I didn’t even
notice. I watch Jake as he battles against himself, a part of him wants me so
badly but another part is still so angry. He has no idea what he interrupted and
the jealous, irrational part of his brain is screaming at him to find out.
Our moment is finally broken by the sound of
Callum clearing his throat. I turn around to face him with an apologetic look
on my face. I’m so ashamed and embarrassed; I can’t believe I allowed myself to
be manipulated like that. I’m so weak, it’s pathetic.
“Jake, this is Callum. Remember the friend I
told you about? The one I had in college before I was forced to leave?” My
voice sounds meek and fearful but I’m thankful that I finally found the
strength to introduce them to one another.
A flash of recognition lights up on Jake’s face
before a furious scowl replaces it. It’s as though the fact that I
used to know Callum makes it worse.
I look over at Callum who is glaring at Jake,
his frown is full of hate and I’m starting to resent the fact that I’m standing
in between them.
“So you two just
happened
to bump into
each other?” Jake asks disbelievingly, glowering at us both with contempt.
“That’s right.” Callum replies tersely.
“And I’m expected to believe that?”
“It’s true, Jake. I was waiting for you when
Callum saw me. He just happened to be walking by, a total coincidence.”
At the sound of my voice, Jake finally drags
his intensive gaze away from Callum. His jaw is clenched and he still looks
absolutely disgusted with me, I guess telling him the truth bout how Callum and
I know each other didn’t ease his suspicions about us.
“Didn’t you check your phone? I left you a ton of
messages and plenty of missed calls.” Jake says pointedly.
“I was about to call you to find out why you
were so late when it ran out of battery and switched itself off. I was really
worried, Jake.”
“Well, I’m here now so I think it’s about time
your friend left.” Jake snaps unkindly.
“Jake, there’s no need to be rude. Callum was
just keeping me company whilst I waited for you.”
“Bethany, it’s ok. I have to get going anyway
but here’s my phone number. Please call me.”
I can hardly believe my eyes when Callum offers
the scrap of paper to me with his number scribbled on it. I realise just how
incriminating this looks, as though there really is something going on between
us and I can’t believe that Callum would do this when it’s so apparent that
Jake is already mad. The three of us just stand there staring at one another. I
know the two of them are challenging one another to make the first move, I just
don’t know who it will be.
Feeling brave, I turn to Jake who has an
incredulous expression on his face, as though he can’t quite believe the nerve
of the idiot standing in front of him. His focus soon shifts over to me from
the piece of paper that Callum is holding, he tilts his head to the side,
feigning amusement as he waits for me to accept Callum’s note.
No matter what I do right now somebody is going
to be hurt. If I accept the number it will be like I’m betraying Jake but if I
don’t accept then I’ll be throwing my friendship with Callum away. I bite down
on my lip, struggling with the best way to handle this when I notice two pairs
of eyes drop down to my mouth. Both men have a lustful expression on their face
and I shift my weight from one foot onto the other, feeling incredibly
uncomfortable.
Realising that they’re both awaiting my next
move, I drag my fingers through my unruly hair before reaching out and
snatching the piece of paper from Callum’s grasp. This is going to cause a lot
of problems between me and Jake but I really feel like I owe it to my old
friend to do this. I can’t reject him again, he thought I’d abandoned him and
after finding out how desperate he was to find me after I left college… I just
can’t turn my back on him again.
I’m just about to shove the scrap of paper in
my pocket when Jake’s hand reaches out and grabs hold of my wrist, curling his
fingers around me possessively and preventing me from pocketing Callum’s
number.
“I don’t think so.” Jake speaks confidently but
there’s an underlying threat hidden underneath his words.
I look up at him, hoping to silently convey my
anger but his attention is not aimed at me, his frightening glare is focused on
Callum, making it obvious that he’s warning him to keep away.
“Look, she’s my friend and I haven’t seen her
for a really long time. She’s taking my number.” Callum says firmly, taking a
step closer towards Jake.
“Jake, we’re just friends, I promise you
.
You have nothing to worry about and you need to trust me.” I turn my back on
Callum and stand directly in front of Jake, imploring him with my eyes to
believe me.
His expression softens when he says the honesty
on my face but his fingers still remain tightly wrapped around my wrist. I
close the gap between us and moisten my lips whilst gazing up at him
beseechingly.
“Bethany…” He whispers, advising me to stop
with my seductive approach.
He knows exactly what I’m doing because he’s
guilty of doing the same thing to me just a few minutes ago. Despite his
caution, he reluctantly relinquishes his hold on my wrist, allowing me to
pocket the tiny piece of paper.
“Callum, you better go.” I glance over at him,
trying to convey my need for him to leave discreetly.
There’s things I need to talk about with Jake,
things we can’t discuss whilst Callum’s here. I still need to find out why Jake
was so late, I have to know why he didn’t let me know he wasn’t coming.
“Ok, I have to get going anyway.” Callum moves
closer towards me and I notice Jake clenching his fists out of the corner of my
eye.
“Bye, thanks for waiting with me.” I whisper
quietly.
“No problem. I look forward to hearing from you,
Bethany.” He lowers his head towards mine so that his words are spoken close to
my ear.
“Ok.” I mumble, feeling awkward and
uncomfortable being in such close proximity to Callum, especially in front of
Jake.
“Bye, Beautiful.”
He says it quietly but loud enough so that Jake
can hear, causing him to inhale sharply as he takes a step forward. The fury
Jake is feeling is written all over his face, making me realise how difficult
this must be for him to remain so calm and in control. I’m actually amazed by
his willpower.
All of that changes when Callum tries to hug
me…
He reaches out but before I can even decide
whether I should return his embrace or not Jake has already pulled me out of
the way, positioning himself between me and Callum so that I can no longer see
him at all. My entire view is blocked by Jake’s protective stance in front of
me and I don’t know if I should be relieved or annoyed by Jake’s jealousy.
“Jake, just let him walk away. It’s you I want,
not him.” I speak so softly, my words are merely a whisper. Jake is the only
person I want to hear my voice.
“Just go.” Jake growls menacingly, the
underlying threat causes me to tremble with fear, even though I’m not the one
he wants to intimidate.
He must sense my unease because he turns his head
slightly and some of the tension dissipates from his shoulders. I’m longing for
the Jake I know and love, the one who makes me feel safe and cherished, not
this jealous, possessive alpha male who wants me all for himself.
“See you around, Bethany. Call me!” Callum
shouts over his shoulder as he walks away, leaving Jake and I alone for the
first time in seven days.
I watch Jake’s knuckles turn white as he
clenches his fists and his breathing once again becomes uneven and heavy.
Deciding I need to get this confrontation over with, I cautiously walk around
Jake until I’m standing in front of him.
“What are you playing at, Jake?” I demand
angrily.
“
Me
?” He asks incredulously, his eyes
widening in astonishment.
“Yes!
What the hell were you thinking? That public display you just put on for Callum
was sick and wrong.”
“Don’t even think about trying to make me feel
guilty for that. I’m not the one who has just been caught with somebody else,
Bethany.”
I glower at him in indignation. How can he
stand there and say that to me? I was not all over Callum, when Jake
interrupted us we were just stood next to one another, we weren’t touching at
all.
“Jake, I’ve already told you that there is
nothing going on between us, Callum and I are just friends and that’s all we’ve
ever been to each other.”
“Why doesn’t that make me feel any better?” He
sneers sarcastically, wounding my heart like he never has done before.
“Look, there is something that I need to tell
you, something I didn’t even know myself until tonight.” I confess, knowing
that I have to be completely honesty with Jake if I want him to believe me.
“What is it?” He demands, taking hold of my
shoulders firmly.
“Callum told me that he tried to keep in touch
with me after I was forced to leave college. He wrote to me and would come by
the bookstore my father owns, hoping he would get to see me but he never did. I
never got any of those letters; my father must have kept them from me all this
time.”
“He wrote to you and tried to see you?” He
squeezes my shoulders possessively, revealing the true extent of his resentment
and jealousy.
“Yes.”
“This is exactly what I’m saying. He obviously
wants you. He wouldn’t have spent the last two years trying to get in contact
if he didn’t have feelings for you, Bethany.”
He drags his fingers through his hair and turns
his back on me, leaving me desolate and desperate to make him see reason.
“It doesn’t matte if he does like me. What I
feel for Callum is nothing in comparison to what I feel for you. I haven’t seen
him in years and I’m not dumb enough to believe that our friendship can just
carry on like before.”
Jake sighs heavily before turning around to
face me. There’s so much anguish and torment in his eyes, it hurts for me to
see him vulnerable like this.
“Don’t look at me like that.” He says sadly,
hanging his head in shame.
“Like what?” I challenge him
“Like all you want is for me to hold you. It
makes me feel like shit and I hate myself for making you look like that.”
“That’s all I want, Jake. All I want is for you
to hold me.”
He’s by my side in a second, pulling me towards
him and stroking my hair as he tries to comfort me and make up for all of the
mistrust and doubt.
“I’m sorry.” He mumbles against my hair,
tracing his fingers along my neck in a soothing, reassuring caress.
“Where were you? Why were you so late?”
“I tried calling you, I swear I did I also
texted you several times and as soon as I knew that I was going to be late I
tried to get in touch. There was… a bit of trouble at the bar where I work and
I had to go down there and sort it out. I tried countless times to let you know
that I was still coming but I’d be a little late. When you didn’t respond to me
I started to get really worried, I got here as soon as I could.”
“I was really worried about you too. I convinced
myself that something awful had happened, it was horrible not knowing where you
were.”
“I’m sorry, baby. I promise I won’t do that to
you again.” He kisses the top of my head before gently pushing me away so he
can take a look at me.
“I didn’t mean to scare you either, the battery
on my phone died so I didn’t receive any of your texts or anything.”
“Nothing had happened, right? Because I’ve had
a horrible feeling all week that something was wrong, you’ve been so distant in
your texts.”
Other books
There Must Be Murder by Margaret C. Sullivan
A Queer History of the United States by Michael Bronski
Can I Get An Amen? by Sarah Healy
A Second Chance for Murder by Ann Lacey
Back on Murder by Mark J. Bertrand
Hard Choice by C. A. Hoaks
Sundancer by Shelley Peterson
Twice the Temptation by Beverley Kendall
The Apostates by Lars Teeney